Falling for Flynn (12 page)

She’d captured his heart over a decade earlier and though he’d done his damnedest to break it, here he was, falling in love with her all over again and grateful for the opportunity.

However, he couldn’t tell her the whole truth until he completed his business here in Sydney. Yesterday, he’d taken care of training center business. And he’d made peace with Pop, even if the old guy hadn’t comprehended half the stuff he’d said. It annoyed him, that he’d left it so late when Pop couldn’t understand. Flynn should’ve confronted his demons many years ago, when he’d jumped through metaphorical hoops to thank the guy for giving up his life to raise him, rather than articulating his gratitude as he should’ve.

Flynn couldn’t remember his mom much beyond pictures Pop had secreted away, couldn’t remember much before Pop had taken him in at three years of age. But he did remember growing up with an angry, bitter man who ran his home like an army camp. He remembered tiptoeing around Pop, learning to read his moods, striving for good grades to impress him.

Pop hadn’t been cruel but growing up in an emotionless environment had taken its toll. Ironic, following Pop’s footsteps in the army had been about gratitude and obligation initially, but the brusque surroundings had suited him too.

He’d held Pop’s hand yesterday and told him all of it. About why he’d joined, how the army became his family, how he now had a son of his own. And he’d thanked the man who’d taken him in, who’d sacrificed the only life he knew, to care for an orphaned boy.

It had been cathartic, releasing years of repressed resentment. Pop may not have responded, and never would, but it had allowed him to take a giant step forward toward his future.

Today, he needed to take care of the rest and then he’d be free.

Free to do what he should’ve done six years ago — whisk the woman of his dreams down the aisle and provide their son with the family they deserved.

He glanced at his watch, hoping Cathy would be waiting for him. She’d had an early morning meeting scheduled at Centrepoint Tower so he’d said he would meet her there for coffee afterwards. He wanted to make a clean break and hoped his commanding officer wouldn’t give him a hard time.

Cathy had been a great boss and he’d learned a lot from her but it was time to focus on other things besides his career, starting with Lori and Adam, the two most important people in his life.

He rode the lift to the top of the Tower, his thoughts totally focused on Lori. He wondered what sort of wedding she’d prefer, a quiet affair or a big party? Would she wear a simple suit of understated elegance or a gorgeous gown fit for a princess?

He smiled at the analogy. She’d always loved fairy tales and she’d shared some of her English essays with him, every story she ever wrote ending happily. This time he fully intended to give her the happily ever after she deserved.

As he stepped from the lift, Cathy rose from a seat by the window and waved him over. He’d battled men in combat, he’d faced egotistical sergeants bellowing orders, yet both paled in comparison when confronting a woman like Cathy. He’d bet she picked men up and chewed them up before spitting them out, and that would be before breakfast.

“About time you showed up, Logan.”

She tapped her watch impatiently before returning his salute, gesturing to the chair opposite. “So what’s this all about?”

“I think you know.”

Cathy nodded. “Dammit, I’m going to lose one of my best soldiers?”

“Yeah. Think you can help expedite my release?”

“Not asking for much, are you?” She rolled her eyes. “I knew this was coming when you requested the extended leave but what’s the hurry?”

“Personal stuff,” he said, wishing they could wrap this meeting up ASAP so he could get back to Melbourne and prove just how personal he could get with his future wife.

Cathy’s eyebrows shot up. “This is about a woman?”

Flynn laughed. “Just because you military girls have a guy in every port doesn’t mean I’m the same. I’ve found the one and I intend to let her know it.”

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Cathy shook her head, her grin widening by the second. “Remind me not to grant any of my other top staff leave. Look what happens. You go soft.”

Flynn shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a romantic at heart.”

Cathy’s loud guffaw had heads turning. “In that case, this CO won’t stand in the way of true love. Good luck, Logan. I reckon shacking up with one person for the rest of your life is going to be way harder than any of the missions I ever sent you on.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

They shook hands, as Flynn wondered why it was so easy to walk away from a career that had meant everything to him until recently. He’d expected to feel a twinge of regret, a feeling of loss. Instead, he couldn’t believe the surreal lightness he’d left his past behind, and the intense eagerness to start his new life.

“Great working with you, boss. And thanks for speeding my ROSO up.”

“No problems, Logan. Your Return of Service Obligation was complete a while back so you’re off the hook.” Cathy saluted. “If you ever need your butt kicked or feel the need to do a hundred push ups after running a marathon as a warm up for a mission, you know where to find me.”

Flynn grinned, knowing he’d left that part of his life well and truly behind him.

From now on, he had a new mission, starting with convincing Lori to spend the rest of her life with him.

Nothing soothed a broken heart like retail therapy. Jane’s mantra, something Lori had never tried considering she’d only ever let one guy close to her heart and the only thing she’d shopped for back then had been baby clothes.

Foolishly, she’d booked a late flight back to Melbourne, envisaging an entire romantic day following her sizzling night with Flynn. Considering that plan had been scuttled when he couldn’t get away to his precious army meeting quick enough, she now had hours to fill before heading to the airport.

She’d left the hotel not long after Flynn and skipped breakfast, so taking the first sip of an extra strong espresso made her sigh with pleasure as she watched commuters hurry down Sydney’s busy streets.

She rarely had time to sit in a café, savoring a coffee and she smiled behind her glass. A smile that quickly faded as she caught sight of Flynn strolling out of a building opposite, next to a woman in uniform.

They chatted for a while, his relaxed posture and genuine smile at complete odds with how rigid he’d been with her earlier.

There was nothing remotely sexual about the encounter and his smart salute, echoed by the woman, reinforced what he’d said: a business meeting with his commander.

That wasn’t what had her clutching the table until her fingernails were in danger of splitting.

Uh-uh, it was the ecstatic expression that took years off his battle-weary face.

She’d never seen him look like that; at least, not with her and at that moment, all her secret dreams, all her deepest wishes, shattered.

While she loved Flynn, she couldn’t compete with his first love.

The army was his life, his joy, and she’d never take that away from him. Or heaven forbid, make him choose.

She’d come so close to doing it once before … never again. For Adam’s sake, she’d maintain a friendship, putting a dampener on her feelings once and for all.

Besides, she’d seen what playing mistress to the army could do to a woman and she never wanted to end up like her mom. Constantly on edge, stressed and pining for a man who’d never give up his vocation no matter what the incentive.

Flynn may be nothing like the colonel but would he change too, being “trapped” in a family situation? And if they gave a relationship a chance, how long before he resented her? She didn’t want to live like that, knowing the guy she loved wasn’t one hundred percent happy. She wouldn’t do it to him, couldn’t do it to herself.

As Flynn hoisted his duffle onto his shoulder and signaled a taxi, an extra spring in his step as he sprinted down the road to catch one, she knew she’d made the right decision despite her aching heart.

Lori braced for Jane’s incoming hug as her friend squeezed the life out of her before releasing and holding her at arm’s length.

“So, how did it go?”

“Good.”

Lori spun away and dumped her overnight bag on the floor before Jane saw the bleakness in her eyes, something no amount of eye make-up could erase despite the uncharacteristic lashings of mascara she’d used on the plane.

“Just good?”

Jane wouldn’t let this go and with a sigh, Lori straightened, knowing the exact moment when Jane caught sight of her expression.

“Oh, honey, come have a cuppa and tell me everything.”

She didn’t need tea, she needed to dive into bed and not re-emerge for a week but with the boys almost finished with their cricket game in the backyard and Adam guaranteed to barrel straight into her arms the moment he caught sight of her, she couldn’t hide no matter how much she wanted to.

“Adam’s good?”

“Adam’s an angel as always.” Jane bustled around the kitchen, placing mugs and teaspoons onto a tray. “Something I told you on the phone when you rang last night and again this morning.”

Jane glanced over her shoulder and frowned. “I knew something was up when you rang early this morning when you should’ve been holed up in bed with his dad.”

Bed … Flynn …

Lori blinked the images away but not before her heart gave a traitorous leap.

“Here, get this into you.”

Jane shoved a steaming mug of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows stacked three deep toward her.

“By the sounds of it, you need the sugar hit rather than tea.”

“Thanks.”

Jane didn’t press and Lori took her time, savoring the silky sweetness sliding down her throat, the first time since this morning’s espresso she’d been able to eat or drink anything. Difficult to squeeze anything past the huge lump in her throat.

“The boys will be in any minute.”

Lori managed a feeble smile. “Subtle.”

Jane placed her coffee mug on the table, threw up her hands. “Hey, I’ve waited this long, you have to give me something.”

What could Lori say? She loved Flynn, that last night cemented that love, a love that may not be one-sided but wasn’t strong enough to sustain them?

She shrugged. “Flynn and I will always be close and I’m glad I went to Sydney … ”

“But?”

“But that’s as far as it goes.”

Jane frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I — ”

“Hey, Mom, you’re back. Awesome.”

As Adam burst through the back door, raced across the kitchen and flung himself into her arms, Lori buried her nose in her son’s hair, inhaled the familiar comforting scent of fresh outdoors and citrus shampoo, and struggled not to cry.

Sensing her distress, Jane clapped her hands. “How would you boys like nachos and chocolate milkshakes on the back porch?”

Adam slid out of her arms and she folded them to stop from reaching out to him and pulling him close again. Her beautiful boy was the reason she did anything these days and for him she’d suck up the pain of not having Flynn love her enough. She’d welcome him into their lives despite every instinct pushing her to run in the opposite direction, as far from the sexy soldier as she could get.

“Is that okay, Mom?”

“Sure, sweetheart. Head back out, I’ll be there shortly with your snacks.”

Adam’s crinkly smile wrapped around her heart, cradled it.

“You’re the best. Thanks.”

Racing out the back door, he yelled, “Hey Chris, nachos and milkshakes coming up. How awesome is that?”

When the screen door slammed shut, Jane bustled around the kitchen, giving Lori time to compose herself. No mean feat, considering her friend would be busting to continue the interrogation.

“Thanks, Jane.”

“For?”

“Letting me off the hook.”

Jane snorted as she liberally sprinkled cheese over corn chips and refried beans in a deep dish. “I’m not. I’m giving you extra time to remember every teensy-weensy detail before you regale me with envy-inducing tales of your sex-capade in Sydney.”

“Ssh. The boys might hear.”

Jane quirked a brow. “They’re in the far corner of the yard playing cricket so not buying that excuse either. You ready to spill yet?”

Lori mumbled a noncommittal response as Jane slid the dish into the oven and set about making the milkshakes.

After dumping the milk carton on the bench, Jane paused, cupped a hand behind her ear.

“Sorry, didn’t quite hear that. You say something?”

Smiling, Lori stood and joined Jane at the bench. “Spending time with Flynn in Sydney was great but there won’t be a repeat.”

Jane’s eyes widened. “So you did … you know … ”

Lori nodded and Jane let out a loud whoop. “Good for you.”

Ultimately, it wasn’t good for her but she’d never regret what they’d shared last night, how incredible being in Flynn’s arms made her feel.

“Why no repeat?”

Lori dashed chocolate syrup into two tall glasses, added the milk and whisked with a spoon. “Because fundamentally nothing has changed.”

Jane frowned. “I don’t get it.”

“I didn’t want a relationship with him six years ago because of the army and I still feel the same way.”

Her hand picked up tempo as she whisked, her annoyance level rising. “I saw him in Sydney, sheer coincidence, meeting with his commander. He looked … ”

“What?”

“Happy. Really, truly happy. I’ve never seen him look like that.”

“Even with you?”

“Especially with me.”

She dropped the spoon with a clatter as the first tear rolled down her cheek and splashed into her hand.

“Hey, don’t cry.”

Jane pulled her into her a hug and Lori let her, but not for long. She didn’t have time for tears or self-pity. She had a hungry boy waiting outside to spend some quality time with his mom and that’s all that mattered.

“Thanks, but I’m fine.”

Wisely, Jane said nothing, picked up the milkshakes and headed for the back door, bumping it open with her hip. She paused on the threshold, sent her a searching look. “You sure about this?”