Falling for Jillian (26 page)

“Seth, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” I hear tires on the driveway, but my gaze doesn’t leave the bitch before me.

Kensie snarls and reaches for Seth’s arm, trying to pull him from my grasp. Seth cries out in pain and Kensie lets go, but laughs. “God, you’re still a pussy.”

I’ve had enough. I push Seth behind me, pull my fist back, and plant it right in her fucking smug mouth. She stumbles back and cries out, but I advance on her and punch her again, harder this time, knocking her flat on her ass.

“Jill!”

“I fucking hate you,” I grind out between my teeth. “You’ll never lay your hands on that boy ever again. Do you hear me? Never. Again.”

Strong hands grip my arms but I shake them off and push my face in Kensie’s. “If you ever even
think
his name again, I’ll rip you apart.”

Her lip is bleeding, she’s panting, and her eyes are wide. “Zack! Are you going to let her treat me like this?” she shrieks.

“Absolutely,” he replies softly. “Get the fuck out of here, Kensie.”

“He’s my son!” she yells and begins kicking and punching the snow like a four-year-old throwing a temper tantrum. “He’s
mine
!”

“No,” I yell and pull her up by her coat and shove her toward her car. “He’s
mine.
Get the fuck off this property and don’t come back. If you have a problem with that, call a fucking lawyer.”

“Zack!”

“You heard her. Get the fuck off my property.”

I spin around, searching for Seth, and see him standing next to the steps of the porch, his eyes wide and haunted. I run to him and pull him into my arms, kiss his head, and rock us both back and forth. “Are you okay?”

“She was going to hurt you,” he sobs.

“No, she wasn’t,” I reply and cup his face in my hands, trapping his hazel gaze in my own. “She wasn’t. And she won’t hurt you ever again either.”

He hugs me tight and then suddenly we’re both in Zack’s strong arms, being held and kissed, and for a brief moment I soak up his strength, and then the anger comes back full force.

“Seth, go inside now while I talk to your dad.”

“No, I want to—”

“She’s right. Go inside, buddy. Thor’s crying for you.”

It’s then I notice that Thor is barking frantically at the window, scratching and trying to get out to us.

“Go comfort him,” I say with an encouraging smile. Seth looks between the two of us and then nods once and trudges up the steps.

“Jilly, are you okay?” Zack asks after Seth shuts the door behind him. I spin on him, more pissed than I’ve ever been.

“Do you understand,” I begin, trying my best to keep my voice low, “that you compared me to
that
?” I point in the direction that Kensie just drove in, toward town.

“No, I never—”

“Yes. You stood in my home and compared me to the woman who fucking abused your
child
.” The enormity of it hits me full force and I can’t stop the tears or the shaking that consumes my body. “I love you with every single molecule of my body, and you compared me to that piece of trash. Are you kidding me?”

“Jilly, that’s not at all what I meant. You are nothing like Kensie.
Nothing.
”

“You bet your ass I’m nothing like her. She doesn’t give two shits about your son. You know that, right? Whatever she’s here for is purely selfish and has nothing to do with wanting Seth.” I shake my head and pace away from Zack toward my car. “And to think, I was ready to move on, to put last week behind us and give us a chance.”

“Jill, we can still do that.”

“No.” I turn and watch him, watch his face fall and go pale. “No, we can’t. When I told you the joyous news that I’m carrying your child, your first thought was that I was playing you the way
she
did.” I purse my lips and shake my head, devastated all over again. “You will most likely be the only man I will ever love like this, but I’ll be damned if I’ll be put in that category ever again. You can come with me to doctor appointments, and you’ll have full access to your child. I’ll coparent with you. But that’s all I’ll give you.”

I turn to leave, but am suddenly spun around and in Zack’s arms. He’s holding me flush against him, from chest to knees, my feet off the ground. He holds me to him, kissing me with a desperate fervor. Finally, after nibbling the corners of my lips, he rests his forehead against mine and whispers simply, “I love you so much.”

He sets me on my feet, releases me, and backs away. With tears in his eyes, he says, “If that’s what you want, I’ll respect your decision.”

I nod once and glance at the house to find Seth and Thor staring out the window. Seth is crying, swiping at the tears with the back of his hand.

I get in my car, and without a backward glance, drive away.

“Jilly.”

I roll over and pull the covers over my head. “Go away.”

“Jill, you have to get out of bed,” Ty replies with a smile in his voice, the sadist.

“No I don’t. I don’t have to go into the office today.”

“It’s after nine. It’s time to get up, princess.”

I roll to my back and peek one eye out of the covers, eyeing him suspiciously. “It hurts when someone you love says mean things. Like
it’s time to wake up.
”

“Get out of bed. I brought coffee.” Ty shakes his head and wanders out of my bedroom, leaving me to pull myself out of bed, yank on some yoga pants, and follow him.

“Why aren’t you at work?” I yawn and sit on my couch, curling my legs up under me.

“Here, I got you decaf,” he says and hands me a to-go cup from Drips and Sips.

“Wow. You really hate me. Waking me up this early and then shoving decaf in my face. What did I ever do to you?”

“You’re a smart-ass. You know that, right?”

“I learned from the best.” I sip the delicious white mocha and wait for my stomach to rebel. When it doesn’t, I sigh in contentment and lean back against the cushions. “So, answer my question.”

He braces his elbows on his knees. He’s in his usual white dress shirt, sleeves rolled, and slacks. “I took a few hours of personal time.”

“So go have sex with your fiancée. Which reminds me, I have to call her today. The wedding is less than a month away!”

“I’m aware, but thanks for the reminder.”

“What’s up, big brother?”

“I am staging an intervention, Jillian.”

I blink at him for several moments, take a sip of my drink, and glance around the room. “Where is everyone else? You’re an army of one, Ty.”

“I’m all I need.”

I tilt my head to the side and scowl at him in confusion. “What, exactly, are you intervening about?”

He stands and paces around my living room, the way he does in the courtroom, and I realize he’s dead serious.

“I’m worried about you. It’s been three weeks
since the incident with Kensie, and you’ve barely spoken to any of us. You don’t join us for dinners or get-togethers. It’s obvious you’re avoiding Zack.”

“I—”

“Just listen.” He holds his hand up, stopping my retort, so I shut my mouth and frown at him. “You look like hell, Jill.”

“I’m pregnant and I throw up more than I breathe, Ty.”

“I get it, but you’ve let yourself go to hell.”

“Fuck you.” I set my coffee on the end table and stand. I’m not taking this sitting down.

“You look horrible. And I’m not just talking about the no makeup and not giving a shit about your hair—”

“Are you a girl? Talking about my makeup and hair?”

“You’re sad.” He stops and shoves his hands in his pockets, watching me closely. “You’re so sad, princess.”

“This is a
sadness intervention
?”

“It doesn’t have to be like this, Jill.”

“I’m not talking about this anymore. Between you and Cara, I’ve been over it a hundred times, Ty.”

“But you don’t fucking listen!” he explodes and I step back in surprise. Ty has never, ever raised his voice to me in anger, not even when we were kids. “You’re so fucking stubborn—”

“I’m not stubborn! I’m hurt!” I scrub my hands over my face and turn away from him. “Zack may as well have told me that I am going to be the same kind of mother as
our
mom. He compared me to two of the most evil, despicable women I’ve ever known.”

“Mom’s not evil, Jill.”

I glare at him and snarl, “Yes, she sure as fuck is.”

“Look,” he begins and raises his hands as if in defeat, “my point is, he
didn’t
compare you to those women. That’s not what he meant, and you know it. You’re just too scared to admit it.”

“What happens the next time I do something that
scares
him? Is he going to do this all over again, jumping to the wrong conclusions?”

“People learn, Jill. They grow. No, I don’t think Zack would make this same mistake again. He’s not stupid. He’s human.”

I shake my head and scrub my fingers against my oily scalp.

Fuck, I really do need a shower.

“From the beginning, you said that you both have a whole cargo hold full of baggage and that it would take a lot of work for anything good to come of a relationship between you two,” Ty reminds me softly. “The baggage didn’t disappear just because you fell in love.”

“No, it just fell off the back of the truck and hit me square in the face.” I cross my arms over my chest
and watch my brother for a moment before saying, “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to be happy, and the path you’re on right now isn’t cutting it. I want you to have a talk with Zack and really listen to what he says. I want you to trust your own instincts and I want my sister and my best friend to love each other.”

“You want a lot,” I whisper. “I don’t know, Ty. We’re pretty broken.”

“Sometimes,” he replies and pulls me into his arms, hugging me tight, “two people have to fall apart before they can realize how much they need to fall back together. And now that you know better, you can do better.”

“Thank you, Oprah,” I mumble into his chest.

“I think Maya Angelou originally said that.”

“Who are you?” I ask and pull away. “Since when are you all mushy and touchy-feely? It’s weirding me out.”

He laughs and shrugs. “I’m in touch with my touchy-feely side.”

“Yuck.” He laughs again and crosses his arms over his chest. I love him so much. “You know, Ty, you’re my rock when everything else falls apart. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“How is Zack?” I ask quietly.

“A fucking mess.”

I nod and cringe, suddenly feeling guilty. “I’ll think about what you said.”

“Stop thinking everything to death and just
fucking talk to the man.” He shrugs into his coat and hugs me once more then tweaks the end of my nose. “Take a shower. Put on some makeup. And for God’s sake, get out of those yoga pants.”

“Yes, fashion guru.”

He waves and leaves and I run for the bathroom, I have to pee so badly. When I finish and wipe, there is blood on the tissue and I immediately feel light-headed.

Oh Christ Jesus, no.

I mentally count the weeks in my head. I should be roughly six weeks pregnant. Many women miscarry around this time and never know they were pregnant. They just assume their period was late.

No, no, no.

I’m due to have my next appointment and ultrasound with Hannah in two days, but I definitely can’t wait that long.

I wipe again, but there’s no blood this time.

Oh God, what if I’m losing this baby?

I call the doctor’s office and spill my story first to the receptionist, who transfers me to Hannah’s nurse, and I tell it all over again, becoming more hysterical by the minute.

“Was it bright red or brown?” she asks.

“Brownish.”

“Well, it could be normal . . .”

“But it could
not
be normal. Can I come in or not?” I sound like a complete bitch, but I can’t help it. I’m panicking.

“Yes, Jill, come on in. Hannah will work you in.”

“Thank you,” I sob and end the call, then immediately call Cara.

“Hey, chickie,” she answers with a grin in her voice.

“Cara,” I cry and rush to my bedroom to find a bra. “I have to go to the doctor.”

“What’s happened? Jilly, are you okay?”

I can hear voices in the background but I don’t know, or care, who it is. “No. I’m not okay. I’m spotting.”

“Shit,” she mutters. “Are you going to Hannah’s office now?”

“Yes.”

“You shouldn’t drive yourself. You’re too upset.”

“I can’t wait,” I reply and shove my feet in boots. “But can you come meet me?”

“Of course I can. I’m on my way right now. Jill, drive
slow
, hear me?”

“I hear you. Oh God, Cara, I can’t lose this baby.” I clutch the phone tightly in my hand and lean against the front door. “I can’t lose it.”

“You’re not gonna lose it, babe. Hannah will take care of it. Just get there in one piece. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Okay.” I wipe my cheeks, grab my purse, and head out to my car. “Thank you.”

I end the call, take a deep breath, then drive the short distance to Hannah’s office.

“Hi, Jill. We’re expecting you.” The receptionist
smiles reassuringly. “Have a seat and someone will come get you in a moment.”

“Thank you.”

There’s a woman sitting nearby reading her e-reader, snapping gum. She has to be at least a hundred months pregnant. Her belly is
huge
.

“Jill?” Hannah’s nurse calls as she steps through the door that leads to the exam rooms.

“Hi.” I stand and follow her back. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch on the phone. I’m just scared.”

“Trust me, you’re fine,” she replies with a laugh. “I’m going to take some vitals and then Hannah will be in to talk with you. It might be a few minutes, she’s on her way back here from the hospital. She just had a delivery.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.”

She weighs me, takes my temperature and blood pressure, then has me change into the usual gown with paper blanket and I sit and wait.

And wait.

I check my phone every two minutes to look at the time. After ten minutes, there’s commotion in the hallway, and I hear a man say, “Where is she! What room?”