Falling For Ken (Blueprint to Love Book 2) (18 page)

"I'll wait for you on the deck."

Watching her dodge lawn chairs in her effort to get away from him, Harry chuckled. "She's crazy about me." Linking arms with the aunt who'd been more like a mother than his own, he watched her slip through the crowd.

"She's delightful, Harrison."

"I know."

Mona glanced up, her expression nearly hidden in the deepening twilight. "Possibly more interesting than the other one you've been seeing?"

"I- I'm . . . we're not seeing– I mean . . . she doesn't. . ."

"That's odd. I've never heard you stammer before."

Her amusement made him laugh. "Let me start over. Kendall is a very nice woman. She took me in after the fall. She's taken care of me all week– but, that's it. We still have a huge business problem to work out-"

"Harry, don't let Specialty ruin what could be a lovely relationship."

"This woman could be very dangerous to Specialty. If her company goes under, she could take Specialty down with her," he explained, his gaze on Kendall as she spoke with Linc on the deck. "Are you suggesting I throw that out the window because you find her delightful?"

"I'm suggesting you not lose sight of what's truly important in life." Frost tinged her tone.

A hug seemed to ease her scowl of frustration. "If it's meant to be . . . she'll still be there when this job is over." Kendall might be there– but would she want to speak to him? He couldn't change what was about to happen and he'd be damned before he'd act recklessly– not with Specialty at stake.

"Do you remember fishing in the creek with the boys when you were little?" Interrupting his jarring thoughts, Mona shielded her eyes from the last rays of twilight.

Harry raised an eyebrow at the swift change of subject. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You'd spend hours splashing in the water . . . only to come home empty-handed because you never bothered to bait the hook."

"That was half the fun. The fish were harder to catch."

"I'd suggest using a net this time." Tweaking his cheek, she drifted across the grass, heading toward the house. Harry's gaze followed hers to the deck. "This one's going to be awfully slippery to catch."

Chapter 9

"Is everything okay? You looked upset back there."

Kendall kept her gaze on the darkened road ahead, refusing to catch his eye. "I had a nice time. Everyone was very friendly."

Wearily, Harry rested his head against the seat, allowing the silence to lengthen between them. Rather than badger her, he'd begun to realize she never kept things bottled up for long. Eventually, Ken would tell him exactly what was on her mind.

Lord, he was tired. His ankle throbbed fiercely under the confines of his cast. Feeling like an invalid was growing tiresome. He couldn't wait until everything was back to normal– couldn't wait to start running again.

At least he'd finally return home . . . his own bed– though he'd been forced to admit that Kenny's place felt like home, too. It was almost impossible to
not
feel comfortable in her creaky, old Victorian. He'd always been partial to clean, modern lines, but the casual comfort of her house and the peace of her garden had drawn him in. He hid a smile. Just as her prickly personality had proven irresistible. Like a beautifully wrapped gift, the best part was hidden inside. He'd grown accustomed to her moods, her music . . . that smile.

"What's the story between Mona and Linc?"

Ken's voice jolted him back to the cozy intimacy of her truck. "What story?" Glancing around, he realized they were nearly home. "They were married for twenty years and then divorced– for about a dozen, I think. She remarried a guy named George but he passed away two years ago."

"She still has feelings for him."

"No way." Chuckling, Harry shook his head. "That train left the station years ago. We've all noticed they seem to get along much better now, but Linc was the one who never got over
her
. She left him because he wouldn't slow down with work."

"So that's what she meant about business getting in the way of relationships?"

He met her sideways glance. "It's her go-to line. She's always lecturing us not to work too hard."

"That's what broke them up? Work?" Her eyes widened. "After all those years together?"

Hair whipping in her face, an incredulous expression on her kissable mouth, her small-boned wrist balanced on the wheel as though she knew the inner workings of her truck like the back of her hand. Without trying, Ken was just about the sexiest woman he'd ever seen. Unable to stop staring, Harry swallowed around the sudden desert in his throat.

"Back in those days, Linc worked eighty hours a week even though Specialty was pretty well established. We barely saw him when we were kids." Pausing, he considered his words. "My dad was the same way. Only difference was my mother spent those years drunk. At least Jake and Jeff and Andrea had a mother who was involved. Mona was mother
and
father to them."

"I sensed she was that for you, too." She glanced at him, a question in her eyes. "Did she look after you?"

"Thank God for her," he confirmed. "No matter how bad it was at our house, I could go there and pretend
she
was my mother. Something was always cooking on the stove . . . real food instead of pancakes all the time. I don't know what I would've done without her." Frowning, Harry shifted to face her. "Was that how it was for you? You must have felt like you were all alone." The image of her as a lonely, uncertain teenager left completely on her own had anger flickering through him. Kendall was silent for several seconds, leaving him unsure whether he should pursue the subject.

"I . . . uh– yeah. I felt that way," she admitted, her gaze remaining on the road. "Dad and I didn't get along, but I had Jimmy."

"Jimmy?"

"I think you met him– my foreman? He was. . . I guess you could call him a substitute father. That's what it felt like, anyway. I could never talk to my dad, but I could always go to Jimmy."

"That must have been hard on you." Harry carefully stuck a toe in the water. Maybe if he took it slow, she might open up to him.

"I survived." No mistaking the edge to her voice. "It made me self-reliant."

A lifetime of let-downs– spun as resilience. But Harry knew better. He'd never really forgotten the pain of not being wanted. Though endlessly grateful for his aunt's presence in his life– he sometimes wondered whether he'd imposed himself on them. Had Mona really wanted him there all the time? Another son to worry over . . . when she had more than she could handle? Had she ever seen him coming through the door and wished he'd just go away? Even now, Harry sometimes felt like an afterthought– tagging along with a rented family he could never truly call his.

"Most of the time, I prefer being alone."

"Is that a reflection on my shortcomings as a houseguest?" Knowing his words would make her smile, he awaited confirmation.

"You arrived with unexpected benefits." Amusement sparking her eyes, she gave him the once-over. "Despite the circumstances, I think we can assume I greatly enjoyed your stay."

"Next time, why don't we skip the fall . . . and the hospital trip and the fire."

"Deal."

The surprise that flared in her eyes left him a little wistful. As though she couldn't fathom the idea of spending time with him again. But were they really so different? Her frank admission made sense. She kept most people at a distance. Ken could count on one hand those who she trusted– and two of them weren't even human.

"I think we're getting closer. Is this your street?"

Harry's gaze slid from her to the window. "Next street on the left."

Crossing his fingers, he waited until she'd parked in a spot near his building. "Will you come up for a minute? I could show you around . . . maybe try to convince you to stay until morning?" He knew what her answer would be– probably before she knew it herself. Her tension was palpable. After building all afternoon, the energy sat like a boulder between them on the ride home.

"I've got a big mess waiting for me in the morning. I need to head back and face it." Reluctantly, Kendall faced him. The finality of her expression sent unease crawling down his spine. "We still have unfinished business," she admitted. "It's bound to get ugly before it gets better. I think it's best if we don't try to see each other again."

"I disagree." Instead of what he
wanted
to do– haul her against him and remind her why they were so great together– he adopted a neutral tone. "I want to see you. We just need to keep our personal feelings separate from the contract problems."

The light dimmed in expressive eyes. "There's no way this thing will work, Traynor. Even if we resolve the financial issues, we have other problems. Remember Deborah?"

"Leave her out of this."

Wincing, she shook her head. "No. I– I shouldn't have slept with you. I
knew
you had a girlfriend," she admitted. "But . . . everything was going wrong. I'd just lost everything-"

"You slept with me because you had a bad day?" Trying for amusement over her revelation, he failed. His chest tightened, making it painful to breathe.

"A
terrible
day," she corrected. "My entire life is collapsing. And a gorgeous, sexy,
thoughtful
man wanted to sleep with me." She glared at him. "So– yeah . . . shoot me. I figured why not have one beautiful, amazing night before I return to hell?"

"And that's all it was?"

Disgust crossed her features. "I still shouldn't have done it. I'm ashamed of myself-"

"Ashamed?" His stomach plummeted over her choice of words. "Kenny, I meant what I said. I care for you."

"Traynor, you have a girlfriend." Her whisky-soaked voice elevated in the confined truck. " If you cheated on me, I'd work you over with a tire iron."

Harry chuckled despite the seriousness of their conversation. The image made him smile. Kendall would be fiercely loyal to the man she gave her heart. She would expect no less from him.

"Honey, we didn't have that kind of relationship." He hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. Compared to the gut-shredding uncertainty he was suddenly experiencing– what he'd felt for Deborah had been pretty damned meaningless. But he hadn't actually realized that until . . . now. He needed time. To analyze what he suspected he was feeling. Run the numbers on why he'd suddenly convinced himself Kendall was somehow different. Give himself time to come up with a more logical explanation. "It's over with Deborah. It was over before I met you."

"You thought I was her," she accused.

A brow lifted in disbelief. "Babe, there's no way I'd ever confuse you two."

She sent him a withering glance. "I'm sure she's very beautiful."

"Gorgeous." He winked. "But . . . no freckles." The confusion in her eyes made him want to fold her in his arms. But that tactic wouldn't work on Kendall. "That's a deal breaker now."

"When you were hurt, you . . . talked in your sleep and you asked for Deborah."

"You're basing our relationship potential on something I mumbled under the influence of painkillers?" If she hadn't been serious, Harry would've laughed.

"It didn't sound over." She released a shallow breath, clearly battling for control. "What we had was . . . amazing. But– it would never last."

"How do you know?" He gentled his voice.

Her smile was wobbly. "I'm not what you're looking for."

"What am I looking for, Ken?"

"Please-" She brushed a stray tear from her cheek. "No man is looking for a woman who drives a backhoe for a living."

"Babe . . . you've single-handedly run a business in a male-dominated industry. Even without that– I wouldn't give a damn if you drove a garbage truck."

"What does Deborah do?"

"She's an attorney." The exaggerated eye roll she offered was obviously meant for his benefit. "What does that mean?"

"Clearly, you need an attorney in the family more than a truck driver."

"Dammit, Ken." Harry finally erupted. How was he supposed to argue logically when Ken's thoughts were completely illogical? "I don't require a resume when I date someone. Stop selling yourself short," he ordered. "You're beautiful and smart. You're unbelievably talented. Hell, you could probably audition with an orchestra and make the cut."

Golden eyes pooled with tears. "You need someone who's an asset . . . not a liability. Right now, I can only hurt you."

He hesitated, wishing he could argue her point. But– damn it. She was correct. His obligation to Specialty hung like a noose around his neck. He could never turn his back on his cousins. His only family– when his own hadn't wanted him. The Traynors meant everything to him.

Her eyes averted, Kendall seemed to steel her resolve. "I should go."

In a moment of clarity, Harry acknowledged he couldn't have both. With a cloud hanging over them, it wasn't fair to ask for more. But that didn't stop a cold wave of panic from clenching his stomach. "I'm
not
involved with Deborah anymore. You had nothing to do with that decision. It had been coming for a long time."

Her gaze determinedly glued to the steering wheel, she started the engine. "It's probably fixable. You can be pretty convincing."

"There's nothing to-" He released a frustrated sigh. "I like
you,
Kendall
.
I want to see you. Why is that so awful?"

Ignoring him, she shifted the truck into reverse. "I'll let you know my decision about A & R in a few days."

She was hurting and tired. Overwhelmed with stress. In one day, she'd lost nearly everything. The daunting problems she faced likely seemed insurmountable, especially when assuming she would face them alone. The logical part of Harry's brain suggested he not push when she was emotionally drained. But the flailing, recently unveiled
illogical
portion rebelled against the idea of her shutting him out. This wasn't the soft, loving woman he'd spent most of the last week with. It was fear. Or that damn stubborn pride.

"So, that's it? An amazing one night stand?" Of course, knowing he was being illogical and actually accepting it were completely different equations. Vulnerable didn't feel good. Vulnerable kinda sucked. He didn't want her to leave– not with uncertainty hanging between them.

Her eyes flashed dangerously. "I don't exactly make a habit of one-night stands."

"Ken– you trust me. I know you do." His anger dissipated. "Or you wouldn't have let me touch you."

"You caught me at a weak moment. It won't happen again," she vowed.

"What if I don't want it to end?" The moment the words left his lips, he regretted them. It was the wrong challenge to throw at a woman like Kendall. For a fleeting moment, her expression had softened, her tough outer shell weakened. Now, the beautiful eyes iced over, gleaming like a cornered tiger in the darkened truck.

"It's not enough you're taking my business and ruining my life? You want to string me along, too?"

"I'd like to continue seeing you." He softened his tone. "I care about you."

She snorted. "Yeah, well that and three bucks will buy me a cup of coffee in the unemployment line. Your version of reality differs from mine. Let's see if I have this straight– you get to keep your fabulous life and . . . sleep with me when you get the urge?" Nervous fingers drummed the steering wheel. "While I lose my business, put guys out of work who've never known anywhere else. I get the debts to pay off . . . the sleepless nights wondering whether I'll lose my house . . ." She released a shuddering sigh. "Oh . . . and I get to wait by the phone to see if the rich, successful guy I'm
sorta
seeing can pencil me in for sex on Thursday." Blinking back tears, she turned to stare at him. "Is that about right?"