Falling for the Genie (Genie's Love, Book 1) (13 page)

My heart lurches as Sebastian gazes into my eyes with such intensity. “Don’t scream,” he whispers before lowering his hand.

I tear my gaze from his face. He’s the last person I want to see right now. I can imagine the smug smile on his face. The
I told you so
. I can’t bear how right he was.

We’re just standing there, inches away from one another. He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t move. What’s he thinking? Does he know I got my heart broken? Is that why he’s here?

When I’m brave enough to meet his eyes, I don’t see any humor, no arrogant smile. He probably doesn’t know what happened only minutes ago.

He cups my cheeks in his hands, keeping that same intense look on his face. “Lily, are you okay?”

The softness and care in his tone cause tears to enter my eyes, even though I try my hardest to hold them back. I don’t want to cry all the time. I’ve shed many tears over Daisy’s death and my mom’s decision to shut me out of her life. But those were well-deserved tears. I don’t want to cry over Max.

I pull out of Sebastian’s clutch. “Just say it.”

His eyes search mine. “Say what?”

Does he really not know what happened? “Why are you here?” I ask, keeping my voice steady, or trying to.

He reaches for me, but I step back. He drops his hand. “I felt something,” he whispers. “Right here.” He points to his heart. “I knew you were in trouble.”

He felt it in his heart? I shouldn’t make a big deal about it. It’s probably another genie/master thing. As happy as I am to see him, I don’t want him to know how much pain I’m in. I need to be strong. To get over this. It’s just a broken heart. There are worse things out there. “I’m not in trouble. I’m fine.”

He moves close to me, placing his hands on either side of me, trapping me in place. “I know what happened,” he says softly. “And I’m sorry.”

More tears gather in my eyes. I don’t blink, but sooner or later, they’re going to spill down. Sebastian notices because his face changes, as though he feels my hurt. “Did you come here to gloat?” I ask.

His eyebrows furrow. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you were right.”

He continues to gaze into my eyes. It’s dark, but I can see my reflection in his eyes. I’m a complete mess. Hair is crazy, eyes and nose are blotchy.

“Why are you trapping me here?” I ask. “And why did you press me against the wall and cover my mouth?”

“Because I knew you’d run away the second you saw me. I don’t want you to run.”

“I kind of want to be alone right now.”

“You shouldn’t be alone. Don’t cry over him. He doesn’t deserve your tears. He’s an idiot for not seeing how special you are.”

Special? My insides fill with warmth, but I keep them at bay. I have to remember that Sebastian rejected me. “Why do you care? You’ve disappeared for the last few days and then you come out of the blue when I just had my heart broken by a guy I thought I loved but really is a jerk!” I realize now that I never loved Max, not really. I just thought I did. It’s been Sebastian all along. My heart never pounded when Max entered the room like it does with Sebastian. But he doesn’t feel the same, or at least refuses to let himself.

Shock and surprise enter his eyes.

I go on, “And it’s so stupid. I’m stupid. For going after someone who never really cared about me. When the guy I want is standing right in front of me. And he won’t even acknowledge—”

Sebastian closes his mouth over mine and kisses me, first gently and then growing deeper and a little rougher, harder. He keeps his hands on the wall behind me while mine shoot to his hair. They tangle through it, pulling at the strands as our lips mold together. My legs feeling like jelly, I push myself against him, kissing like I’ve gone days without water. Everything is coming out through this kiss—how much my heart aches for him, the fight we had. The future I desperately want with him. He feels it, too, because his body is burning as much as mine is. We can go on for hours and hours and each kiss will be just as powerful, just as intense, as real as the first one. That’s what true kissing is. Not what I had with Max. He has nothing on my genie. Nothing. I don’t care that I’m comparing them. Sebastian is the guy who has my heart, body, and soul.

He pulls off. “We need to stop.”

“No.” I put my hand behind his neck and haul his mouth closer to mine.

He pushes me back, gently as to not hurt me. “This is wrong.” He runs his hand through his hair and walks away from me.

My eyes follow him as he stops before a pile of bread on the ground that’s been overrun by ants. He just stands there, looking at it as if it’s the most fascinating thing he’s seen in his hundreds years on this world. “Why?” I ask. “Why is it so wrong?”

He won’t answer my question. I inch toward him and take his hand. He pulls it away. “It just is,” he says.

“Can you please explain?”

He turns to me, cupping my face in his hands. “I lied. When I told you I didn’t love you, it was a lie. The kiss at your prom was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life. I don’t know why I feel these things. I never have before. I thought I didn’t have human needs, but I guess I do. I’m sorry for everything.”

A tingly feeling spreads over me. “Why did you lie?”

He sweeps his hands around. “To prevent this.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Us falling for each other,” he explains. “It can’t happen. It shouldn’t happen. It’s wrong.”

I slide my hand in his and give it a squeeze. “You keep saying that, but I don’t understand.”

“We can’t be together.” He shuts his eyes like it pains him to say it. He opens them. “You know it and I know it. We have no future.”

I bite my lip. “I don’t care.” I’m done being scared and careful. Look where that got me. We should just live and enjoy ourselves, without all these concerns and hesitations.

He places his hand on the back of my neck, his eyes flicking to my lips, then to my eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you. We can’t…we can’t be together.”

“Sebastian—”

“You’re going to forget me. But I’ll remember you. Every day. Forever. I wouldn’t be able to live with that.”

My lips press together. I hadn’t considered that. I’ve been so selfish, thinking about myself. He’s right. I’ll move on with my life once he’s gone, but he might never get over me.

“I don’t want to forget you,” I whisper.

He smiles sadly. “But you will.”

“Can I wish not to forget?”

He shakes his head.

I lay my head on his chest and breathe in his exotic genie smell. He runs his fingers through my hair.

I don’t know how long we remain like this. Sebastian’s hands stop and he tilts my face up, giving me a sweet kiss. He then buries his head in my hair, breathing softly.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he murmurs. “But I’m going to have to. Eventually.” He rests his forehead against mine. “I want to be with you. More than anything, Lily.”

“Can we try?” I ask. “I know I’m going to forget you, and that’s terrible, but wouldn’t you want us to explore this? To feel
real
things for one another, even if it’s only temporary?”

He stares off at the distance, thinking about my words. I know I’m asking a lot, and maybe it’s selfish, but I’ll forget him. He won’t forget me. I don’t want him to live his life regretting us not taking the next step.

Sebastian remains like that for a few minutes, and I wait patiently. He slowly breaks his gaze from whatever he was staring at and looks at me, his face apologetic. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

I can’t hide the disappointment in my eyes, and he sees it. His pain is obvious, like a neon sign over his heart, telling me he wishes things were different, but they aren’t.

“It’s better for us to be just this,” he says. “Friends.”

But we aren’t friends. Not at all. “I understand,” I say. “Do you want me to make a third wish?” I shut my eyes and breathe out my next words. “Do you want to leave so it’ll be easier?” As hard as it will be, I can’t only think about myself. Sebastian will be the one affected when he leaves, not me. I need to think about him, put his needs before my own. But God, I don’t want to forget him. Ever. I don’t want to end this…whatever this is.

He rests his lips against my forehead. “No, I’d…I’d like to stay a bit longer. If that’s okay.”

I smile a small one. “It is. Thank you.”

I’m lying on something soft, yet hard at the same time. Opening my eyes, I realize I’m in my bed. Sebastian is right next to me. My head is using his chest as a pillow. I scratch my hair and look around. I don’t remember coming home last night. I’m still wearing the dress from Macy’s engagement party.

Did Sebastian take us home?

His lamp is set on the night table, back in its old place. That means my genie is here to stay. He’s moved back in. I think back to what happened between us, my begging him to try to have a relationship. Him rejecting me. I understand his reasons, but it stings.

I peer over at Sebastian sleeping peacefully, as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. His chest rises and falls and his breathing is even. I notice that his hair has gotten longer since he arrived via his lamp. It reaches past his shoulders and his bangs fall into his eyes more so than they did before. Does he even get haircuts?

Watching him like that creates a void inside me. Here is a guy I want, a guy I feel most comfortable with, a guy who loves me. But I can’t be with him. He’s made his decision, and I need to respect it. It pains me that he’ll be thinking about me for the rest of his life while I’ll be living my own life without caring about him. It sucks. If we can’t be together, we
both
should suffer, not just him. Why does he have to remember? Who made these stupid rules, anyway?

He shifts, opens his eyes, and smiles at me. I can’t believe I won’t remember that sweet smile one day. He gets a look on his face, the smile vanishing. “What’s wrong?” he asks, sitting up on his elbow. He has I-just-woke-up hair that makes him look very sexy, and all I want to do is plow my hands through it, pull him close to me, and give him a kiss. But since I can’t, I have to settle with running my hand through my hair instead.

“I’m fine,” I lie.

He nods, his lips pressed together.

We just sit there quietly, with me brushing my fingers through my hair and him looking out the window. The shade is shut, and I’m not exactly sure what he’s intrigued about.

“No.” I scoot closer to him and cross my legs. “I’m not okay. I shouldn’t talk about it, but I was just thinking about how I’m going to miss everything about you.”

He gives me a small grin. “You won’t miss me, remember?”

“I just can’t believe I’ll never know you. You’ve had such an impact on my life. How could I just forget?”

He lifts his hands helplessly. “It’s just how it is.”

“We need to change the rules.”

A low laugh rumbles from his stomach. “Believe me, if I was able to, I would. That’s just how it’s been. I know what I can do and what I can’t…except.” He moves even closer to me and places his hands on either side of my face. “I couldn’t sleep last night and I’ve been thinking about us. About what you said.”

My heart skips a beat. I want to talk, but no words come out.

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me,” he continues. “I’ve never had human needs, but now, since I met you, I feel like I’m changing. Like I’m turning human. Does that make sense? I mean, I don’t need to eat and things like that, but every time I think about you, I get a feeling. Here.” He points to his heart. “And here.” He pats his stomach. “It’s like things are twisting up all inside me and when I look at you, I feel like I can do anything. Conquer the world.” He shakes his head. “It doesn’t make any sense. Why would I have needs now?”

“I don’t know.”

He softly runs his thumb down my left cheek. “I think I do. What I’m feeling, it’s real. I can’t explain it, but it
feels
right. I’ve had female masters, but I’ve never loved them. I love you. Why should we push it aside? It’s like you said, when I remember you after I’m long gone, I want to remember what we had. Not miss out on what we could have had.”

“I was thinking the exact thing just a few minutes ago.”

He laughs lightly and pecks my lips. “I want to cherish these memories forever.”

It pangs my heart that I can’t do the same. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask.

“Very sure.”

I fling my arms around him and hold him close. “I just wish…I mean, I don’t want you to leave. Can I wish for you to stay?”

He takes my hand and brings my fingers to his lips, kissing each one at an antagonizing slow pace that makes my body shudder. “That’s not possible.”

I drop my hand, swallowing the Ping-Pong ball lodged in my throat. “How long do I have before…before…?”

“I’m not sure. A few weeks, maybe less.”

A few weeks? That’s nothing.

Sebastian strokes my hair. “I don’t want us to worry about that. Let’s make the most of my time here. I want to experience everything with you. I want to get excited when you do. I want to cry with you.”

“I want that, too.”

***

“Where were you?” I ask my genie after work as we’re sprawled on the couch, watching one of my favorite romance movies. I’m sitting on Sebastian’s lap and enjoying every second of it. I’m not going to think about our non-future. I’m just going to live in the moment, with my genie, with the guy I love.

“What do you mean?” he asks, watching me munch on some popcorn. He’s become obsessed with it since I microwaved it about an hour ago. He can’t get enough of the butter-flavored smell. I feel bad that he can’t eat it, but he’s reassured me that all he cares about is being with me.

“When we had our argument after you nearly killed M…that jackass. You took your lamp and left. Where did you go?”

He folds his hands behind his head, leaning back. “Nowhere, really. Parks, mostly. I slept on the benches with my lamp on my lap. I guess I’m used to sleeping outside now and not in my lamp.” He scoffs. “I really hate that thing.”

“Why?”

His gaze flicks to me, then to the TV, then back to me. “The lamp is so dark and lonely. I’ve gotten used to your home. And being with you.”

“Oh.” I wish he could stay here forever.

“No,” he says, rubbing his thumb along my bottom lip before giving me a small kiss. “We’re not thinking about that, remember? There’s you and there’s me. Nothing else.”

I nod. “I’m trying, but I’m only human and can’t shut my brain off, you know.”

“And that’s what I love about you.”

“What?”

He presses me close to him. “That you’re human and are so complex. Your emotions, your behavior. Everything about you. It fascinates me.”

“You fascinate me, too.”

He shakes his head. “I’m just a genie.”

“You’re not just a genie, Sebastian. You have a heart, you care. I think you’re more human than you think.”

“Thank you.” He lowers his mouth to my face and trails kisses from my cheek, to my ear, then down my neck, sending sparks all over my body. I fall against his chest, feeling like I’m floating. My eyes flutter as a low moan escapes my lips. No other guy has made me melt the way Sebastian does. I wish I could hold onto this forever.

We reluctantly continue the movie, and as we’re halfway through, Sebastian says, “Lily, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay.” I pause the movie.

He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. His eyebrows are furrowed. “I want to explain my behavior the night you ran into the street. I want to explain why I was such a jerk to you about the jackass.”

I caress his arm that’s wrapped around my waist. Having him hold me like this comforts me. Makes me feel not so alone. I remember how many nights I’d just sit here watching TV by myself. It’s one of the saddest, loneliest things.

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You sensed something was off with him and you were right.” I kiss him. “Thanks for looking out for me.” Though I wish he would have spoken to me about it instead of terrorizing my ex-boyfriend, I can’t be upset with him for trying to protect me.

Sebastian says, “It was something I sensed about him, but there’s more.”

I turn around to face him. He looks really uncomfortable. His leg that’s resting against mine twitches. “What?” I ask.

He pushes some hair out of his eyes. “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“There’s nothing you can say about Max that’ll hurt me. He’s forgotten, wiped out from my mind. I’m with you now. I’ve always wanted to be with you.”

That causes him to smile a little. “Me, too.” He sighs, rubbing his temples. “How are we going to get through this? How am
I
?”

I place my index finger on his soft lips. “We’re not going there, right? You and me. Nothing else.”

He nods reluctantly.

“So what did you want to tell me about Max?” I ask.

He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “The reason I pushed him. You told me to stay away from you after I played around with him at your apartment, and I did. But then I saw something that got me so upset I wanted to hurt him.” His apologetic eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry for having so much anger, but you have no idea what seeing that did to me.”

I’m too confused. “What did you see?”

He glances at the floor before meeting my gaze. “I saw him with another girl.”

“His ex.”

He shakes his head. “No, someone else.” He pauses. “He was seeing someone else while he was dating you.”

It shouldn’t bother me. We’re over. But it does. A lot. Not because I still care about Max—I sure as hell don’t. But the fact that he was cheating on me. Not only was he using me to get over his ex, he was
with
someone else while he was with me. I feel so disgusted.

“I can’t believe I was going to lose my virginity to that ass,” I mutter, maybe a bit too loud because Sebastian eyes grow wider than the cantaloupe sitting on my kitchen counter.

I feel my cheeks get hot and use my can of Coke to keep myself busy. Thirty seconds later, I blurt, “Do you ever…?”

He looks at me, surprised. “Ever…what? Do it? No. I have no needs. Well, I mean, lately…yeah, I’ve thought about it, but um…” He presses his lips together.

An awkward silence fills the room. Did he just admit he wants to have sex with me? Because I’d definitely want to lose my V-card to Sebastian one day. I pull my hair over my face like a curtain. What am I thinking? He’s going to
leave
soon.

“I saw it,” he says, his eyes on the paused movie. “Him with that girl and I completely lost it. I suspected that he was a bad person, but I didn’t want it to be confirmed.”

I stroke his cheek, turning his head and forcing his eyes to meet mine. “I appreciate you looking out for me, but why didn’t you tell me you saw him with someone else?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought if he broke up with you, it’d spare you the pain. But I pushed you away and caused you to fall deeper in love with him. I wish I could take it back and tell you the truth from the start. At least you’d have less pain than you do now.”

Hearing how much he cares about me makes my stomach flap like butterflies are trapped inside. “Thank you for being there for me, Sebastian.”

He nods. “I’d do anything for you.”

I rest my head on his shoulder, taking in his genie smell I’ve come to know and love so much. “Do you know if he had feelings for her?” I ask. “That other girl? Was he using her, too?”

“I think he was.”

I guess that makes me feel a little better. I just hope that other girl learns the truth and doesn’t cry over him. He’s not worth it. “Let’s not talk about him. Like I said, the memories of him have been wiped from my mind.”

My throat chokes up. Just like Sebastian will be wiped from my mind when he’s gone. Damn it. I’m trying not to think about the future, but I can’t help it. Will I ever find a guy as sweet and caring as Sebastian? I know there are many out there, but there’s only one Sebastian. Will my heart have room for another guy? Or will it cry for Sebastian even though my mind won’t?

He tucks his fingers under my chin and tilts my head up. “What are you thinking about?”

I push a fake smile on my face. “Something I shouldn’t be thinking about?”

He frowns. “Can we continue?” He nods toward the movie. “I’d like to know what happens next. Do you want me to get you some more popcorn?”

“Thanks, but I’m full.”

Cuddled in each other’s arms, we resume the movie. Sebastian watches intently, and I watch him. The way his eyes shine when the couple declares their love for one another. His sweet smile when they share a tender kiss in a flower garden.

At least those two have their happily ever after. At least in my fantasy bubble, I can pretend we can, too.