Falling in Love in New York

Falling in Love in New York

Melissa Hill

First published in Great Britain as ‘Before I Forget’ by Hodder & Stoughton, 2008

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Melissa Hill 2008

The right of Melissa Hill to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the author. You must not circulate this book in any format.

All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

If you could hold onto just
one
memory for the rest of your life … what would it be?

Chapter 1

2.55 p.m.
  No doubt Kieran was already at the church by now, anxiously awaiting her arrival, and joking with best-man Ger, trying to disguise his nerves. Although knowing Kieran he wouldn’t be the slightest bit nervous or worried about a no-show from the bride. His confidence was one of the things Abby loved about him. But she wondered if he would be at all anxious about the ceremony itself – unsure about his decision to commit himself to one woman for the rest of his life. Abby swallowed hard as she stared out the window of the car. Her palms were clammy, and she had to resist the urge to wipe them on her dress.

3.05 p.m.
  She felt her heart rate speed up. They were only minutes away from the church now, and for a brief second, she thought about telling the driver to turn the car round and go back – back home and away from all of this. She could lay low for a while, wait for all the fuss to blow over. But Abby knew she couldn’t do that – not now. Not when she’d come this far.

3.08 p.m. 
They reached the church, and as the car approached, she saw the wedding guests gathered in various groups outside the entrance, most of them chatting and smoking while waiting for the arrival of the wedding car. Amongst them she spotted Kieran’s teenage sister Katie, dressed in a rather revealing red dress, and talking with a much older woman that Abby didn’t recognise. Abby raised an eyebrow; surprised that stuffy and conservative Margaret Redden had allowed her precious daughter wear clothes like that. Then again, maybe Kieran’s Mum had made allowances for the day that was in it, and there was no doubt that Katie did indeed look beautiful. Margaret must be inside already, dressed in her finery and no doubt doing her best to look superior while waiting for the ceremony to begin. Abby suspected that the bride’s late arrival would certainly
not
go down well with her future mother-in-law. All of a sudden, there was a flurry of shuffling and stubbing out of cigarettes as the guests noticed the wedding car approach, and one after another they quickly piled into the church.

3.13 pm
. “Here we are then,” the driver announced, slowing the car.

Through her nervousness, Abby managed a smile.

“Thanks,” she said, running an apprehensive hand through her freshly-styled blonde curls. Did she look all right? Was her make-up OK? Perhaps she should have worn her hair up, instead of down? With all the stress leading up today, she’d dropped a few pounds, which at least made the dress fit that bit better …

Nevertheless, it was especially important that she look her best today, of all days. She was almost tempted to ask the driver what he thought, but how idiotic would that sound?

Talking a deep breath, Abby reached for the door handle, but in the meantime the driver had got out and was already holding the door open on her behalf.

“Thanks,” she said, stepping out gingerly. As soon as she left the relative security of the car, her mind began to spin and her heart raced even faster. What the hell was she
doing
here?

But there was no more time to think about it, as somewhere in the distance, Abby heard the organ start up, and the bridal march begin.

Somehow, her jelly-like feet managed to take her through the doorway and inside the church to where Kieran, stood waiting to pledge his marriage vows. She saw the guests turn and smile in the dreamy way that people did at brides, and wondered how much longer she would be able to last.

Then, at the top of the aisle, Abby’s gaze rested on Kieran, and little black spots danced before her eyes when she saw the expression on his face. The happy smile and look of pure adoration he gave as he watched his elegant bride approach was almost enough to shatter Abby’s heart in two. And when the bride-to-be reached the top of the church, and took her place alongside Kieran before the altar, Abby knew she couldn’t take any more.

3.25 p.m.
  Tears streaming down her face, she quickly slipped through the side door of the church and outside to where her taxi was waiting.

“All right love?” the driver asked when she was back in the car. “You weren’t long.” Then, noticing his passenger’s obvious distress, he added in a kind voice, “Ah, weddings can be very emotional sometimes, can’t they?”

“Yes,” Abby replied, amazed that she could find her voice before adding inwardly,
Especially when it’s the wedding of the love of your life to somebody else.

Some time later, the taxi driver deposited her at the front door of her Portobello flat, the one that she and Kieran used to share before –

But there was no point in thinking about that any more, Abby thought, her eyes red-rimmed as she paid the driver. Kieran was married now, and no matter how much she’d hoped he might change his mind, no matter how often she’d wished that the wedding would be called off, or hoped there would be some last-minute hitch, she’d seen today with her own eyes that there was no going back.

No matter how much she’d loved him – how much she
still
loved him – Kieran was lost to her forever.

And all she could do now was try and forget him.

“You’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”

“Forgotten what?” Abby replied absentmindedly. She cradled the telephone handset between her neck and shoulder, and sifted frantically through the pile of papers on her desk. Where on earth was that file?

“Mum’s birthday dinner?”

The papers fell limply onto the desk, almost in tandem with Abby’s insides. “Oh, no!” she moaned.

“I knew you had,” her sister Caroline said, exasperation in her tone. “That’s why I thought I’d better phone now and give you a chance to get to the restaurant on time, rather than have us all waiting on you.”

“Thanks sis,” Abby replied, meaning it. She checked her watch and saw that it was almost six. If she left in an hour, she would just enough time to scoot back to the flat, get changed and make it to the restaurant by eight. The only problem was that there was still way too much to do here and–

“What are you doing at the office today anyway? It’s Saturday, Abby. Mum was right –you really
are
doing too much.”

“Ah, just trying to keep on top of things,” she replied airily, unwilling to admit to her sister that work was pretty much the only part of Abby’s life right now over which she felt some semblance of control. Notwithstanding the fact that she
liked
working hard at the accountancy practice. It gave her sense of purpose, kept her focused and helped her keep her mind off … things.

Caroline harrumphed. “It’s really not good for a girl your age to be slaving away in an office at the weekends, you know, you should be out enjoying yourself.”

This was by now a well-worn argument of her sister’s, who by contrast loved nothing more than going out and enjoying herself. But it was different for Caroline, who had a lovely husband and a lovely life and not a care in the world. She’d never experienced anything close to the agony and heartbreak Abby was going through now.

“Well, I’m going out with you guys tonight, aren’t I?” she replied easily. Although whether or not this constituted ‘enjoying herself’ was debateable!

“Yes, but knowing you, you’ll be fidgeting during the first course and making excuses to leave by the third.”

“That’s not fair,” Abby retorted, stung.

“Well, it might not be fair but it’s certainly true.” Then Caroline’s tone softened. “Look, we’re just worried about you, OK? Lately you don’t seem to have time for anything else but work, and we’ve hardly seen you since …” She paused slightly. “Well you know, since all…. that. ”

Since Kieran dumped you,
Abby finished silently.

The break-up had happened ages ago, but her sister didn’t know that Abby had gone to see her ex get married last month–no one did. As far as her friends and family were concerned she hadn’t seen or heard from Kieran in months. She couldn’t admit to them that she’d been at the church on the day of his wedding, couldn’t admit how pathetically stupid she’d been in thinking that he might change his mind.

Granted, in the run up to the day, Abby kept telling herself that the reason she was going to the church in the first place was to get that all-important ‘closure’, but the truth was that deep down she’d hoped–no
prayed
–that the wedding wasn’t actually going to take place, and that maybe Kieran, at the very last minute, would catch sight of her standing regally at the back of the church. He’d catch sight of her, their eyes would meet, and in that split second he would recall every instant of their five blissful years together, realise how much he still loved her, and wonder what the hell he was doing marrying someone else.

Then, having realised all of these things, Kieran would hurry down the aisle and into her arms, and he and Abby would race out of the church together, leaving everyone else behind them. But this was the stuff of Hollywood movies and TV soaps and the reality, Abby recalled sadly, had been very, very different.

She didn’t think she would ever forget the look on Kieran’s face as he watched his bride walk up the aisle towards him. It was as if there was nobody else in the room but the two of them which meant that Abby’s hopes of Kieran realising he’d made a big mistake had been dashed for good.

At that moment, Abby would have been lucky if he remembered her name, he was so spellbound by his bride to be. How had that happened? How could Kieran have gone so quickly from planning a future with Abby to actually marrying someone who, a few months before she had never even
heard
of?

It was something that had plagued Abby every single day since the break-up, and something she just couldn’t get over, despite her resolve on the day of Kieran’s wedding to forget all about him.

Forget? That was a joke. He was the first thing she thought about every morning, the last thing at night, and–if she didn’t occupy herself with something else–almost every second in between.

“Abby? Are you still there?” Caroline’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“Yes, yes, sorry–I was just …” she paused, “looking for a file.” No point in trying to talk to Caroline about this; her sister had little time for sentimentality and even less time for Kieran.

“God, you really are a workaholic. Well, hurry up and get finished, and I’ll see you at eight, OK? Oh, be sure to pick up a card for Mum on the way–I’ll add your name to our present if you like, or did you remember to get something for her?”

Abby winced, feeling like an absolute heel. “No, it completely slipped my mind–time’s just flown by and for some reason I thought her birthday was coming up
next
week and–”

“Not to worry, as I said, I’ll add your name to ours. It’s a couple of tickets to
Les Mis
at the West End.”

“Lovely, thanks.” Caroline and her wealthy husband Tom rarely did things by halves. But at least her elder sister had actually
gone
to the trouble of getting their mother a present, whereas Abby had been so caught up in her own little world, she hadn’t even remembered the day itself, let alone get her mum a card. What kind of daughter was she that she could have forgotten something as important as that?

“OK, so I’ll see you later then? Eight o’clock, remember?”

“Sure, thanks again for reminding me,” Abby said before hanging up.

She sat back down at her desk and with a deep sigh, automatically resumed her search for the missing file. She was disgusted with herself for forgetting her Mum’s birthday and somewhat deflated by the fact that Caroline had in a roundabout way, brought up the subject of Kieran. Granted it was always there, but lately Abby was trying desperately to keep it to the back of her mind.

Why was it so hard to get over? she thought, bewildered. He was gone–long gone, married to somebody else now, for goodness sake. It had been months since they’d spoken to, or had anything to do with one another. He’d wounded her deeply, devastated her and still, Abby just couldn’t forget him. She couldn’t forget the life they’d had together and how much she’d loved him. Couldn’t forget the way his skin always smelt slightly of coconut, the taste of his lips on hers, the dizzy warmth she felt when he smiled.

Abby didn’t think she would ever be able to forget Kieran Redden.

And it was driving her crazy.

Thinking back on it, she should have realised that something wasn’t right long before the split, but back then she’d been too blinkered, too blinded by her love for Kieran that Abby hadn’t a clue anything might be awry. Although what had happened on her birthday the year before should certainly have raised some alarm bells. But then again, hindsight was a wonderful thing, wasn’t it?

She recalled how thrilled she’d been at the time, how delightedly surprised she’d been to come home from work one day and find an unexpected message on their answering machine.

“Mr Redden, I’m calling from Guest Services at Dromoland Castle,” the friendly voice intoned. “We’d just like to notify you of an upgrade to your Internet reservation for the weekend of the 31
st
. We’re delighted to inform you that your booking also includes a complimentary treatment for two at our recently launched spa facility, and we look forward to being of assistance to you and your companion throughout your stay.”

Abby’s eyes widened with joy and she put a hand to her mouth, unable to believe her luck. Kieran had booked a weekend away for them at Dromoland Castle for her birthday? What an amazing and unbelievably
perfect
present!

Never in her wildest dreams did she think her boyfriend would spend so much money on somewhere like that; especially when they were busy saving for a house and as a result had to be very careful with their finances. But …wow! Abby was bowled over by this unexpected and (it had to be said) atypical show of extravagance. Kieran wasn’t really one for wasting money on luxuries; something that Abby knew stemmed from his profession as a tax inspector for the Revenue Commissioners. So to think that he had booked a stay in one of the country’s top and most
expensive
luxury hotels….

Still beaming, she sat down on the sofa and tried to figure out
what
she’d done to deserve all this. If it were her
thirtieth
birthday she might be able to understand it, but that wasn’t till next year…

Abby hugged herself delightedly. Imagine her and Kieran spending the weekend in an amazing five-star hotel, exploring the castle grounds by day, then relaxing in the spa before having romantic dinners by night and …but oh God, Abby thought then, what on earth was she going to wear at those romantic dinners?

Her current wardrobe surely wouldn’t pass muster in an upmarket place like that, not when presidents and princesses and every manner of celebrity stayed there on a regular basis!

Now she was
especially
glad that the phone message had given her some advance warning. Had Kieran sprung this surprise on her a day or so before they left, she wouldn’t have had the chance to get herself organised with something nice.

And while the thought of going shopping normally filled her with dread, for this Abby was prepared to face down the crowds (and the unforgiving changing room mirrors) in the hope of finding something worthy of such sumptuous surroundings.

She might ask Erin to go along with her; as one of the buyers for a major Irish fashion chain her best friend was
much
better at that kind of thing, as was her sister Caroline. In fact, Abby seemed to be the only woman she knew who didn’t have a frenzied passion for shopping, something she knew Kieran really admired about her.

“A shower of peacocks the lot of them,” he’d commented one time earlier in their relationship, while the two were watching one of those fashion programmes on TV. Still a junior accountant at the time, Abby didn’t have much money to spend on clothes in any case, but she’d taken the comment on board and found herself reluctant to be classed as one of those self-same ‘peacocks’.

So apart from her work suits for Duffy Masterson, she tended to wear just casual jeans and a top from day-to-day and certainly nothing too fancy or expensive. She remembered Caroline airily telling them at a recent family event how she had spent five hundred euro on the top she was wearing, which had made Kieran nearly spit out his food. While Abby too had been a bit taken aback, she supposed it was par for the course if you had her money, or more likely
Tom’s
money. Caroline’s husband ran a highly successful marketing company, and his wife worked hard at spending the proceeds, another thing that Kieran found hugely objectionable.

But this time, Abby thought with a smile, he would surely make an exception to her spending a few quid extra on a nice dress or something that would help her look the part over that weekend, wouldn’t he?

***

The following Saturday morning, Abby headed into town on her own, deciding in the end not to bring anyone else along on the shopping trip. Seeing as this weekend away was supposed to be a surprise, she couldn’t run the risk of Kieran finding out that she already knew about it, could she? Not that Erin or Caroline would say anything; in fairness they’d hardly have much of an opportunity as Kieran rarely had much to do with Abby’s friends.

Despite his confidence, he could be quite introverted at times really, although Abby reckoned privately that he was a bit threatened by single, fun-loving Erin and worried that her girl-about-town approach might rub off on her.

Abby smiled. He certainly had
nothing
to worry about on that score. She adored him, adored being part of a couple and never for one minute envied her best friend’s young-free-and-single status. OK, with all the saving they were doing she and Kieran often had to miss out on big nights out on the town, but they were building a future together and that was more important than anything.

She’d already decided she was going to find herself a nice dress, and maybe a new pair of shoes too. She wasn’t sure if they’d be staying in the hotel for one night or two but if they were, she could also use the one she’d worn at her older sister Claire’s wedding three years ago. If it still fit her that was, she thought wryly. While she had never been a skinny malinks, she knew had put on quite a few pounds since then–so much so that Kieran had recently had to point it out to her.