Falling Stars (12 page)

attend worldwide functions, galas, charity events, and
award ceremonies in the most sophisticated cities.
Actors especially, of course," she continued, centering
on Cinnamon and Howard. "should do everything
possible to expand their educations.
"Monsieur Rambaud." she said with a slight
nod at the tall, dark. and what I thought was a rather
lean man, for a chef. He smiled and stepped to the.
head of the table.
"Good evening," he sang, and began his lecture.
"Let me begin with my favorite topic... wine." He smiled and held up a glass of white wine. "Give me a bowl of wine. In this I'll bury all
unkindness.'' he quoted. "Shakespeare's..."
"Richard the Third," Howard finished. "
Tres bien."
Monsieur Rambaud said.
impressed. "You are, of course, correct."
Madame Senetsky looked pleased and Howard
beamed. shot a quick glance at the rest of us. and sat
back.
"Winemaking in France dates back to preRoman times, but it was the Romans who
disseminated the culture of wine and the practice of
winemaking throughout the country," Monsieur
Rambaud lectured.
"Wine is the product of the juice of freshly
picked grapes, after natural or cultured yeasts have
converted the Grape sugars into alcohol during the
fermentation process. The yeasts are normally filtered
out before bottling. The range, quality, and reputation
of the fine wines of Bordeaux. Burgundy, the Rhone,
and Champagne in particular have made them role
models the world over."
I could see Steven was getting bored. Howard
continued to look like an attentive student, and the
girls were all looking at each other, me, and sneaking
a glance or two at Madame Senetsky, who sat and
stared at us with a grouchy face. I couldn't look
directly at her. Whenever I did so, her eyes seemed to
burn into my heart. Cinnamon brushed the side of her
mouth with her hand and made faces at me. but I
didn't understand what she was trying to convey, and
with a glance at Madame Senetsky,
"France's everyday wines can be highly
enjoyable, too, with plenty of good value wines now
emerging from the southern regions. Each of ten
principal wine-producing regions has its own identity,
based on Grape varieties and
terroir.
Appellation
control laws guarantee a wine's origins and style,"
Monsieur Rambaud continued, and then captured our
attention. especially Steven's, by pouring from
different bottles and passing the glasses along for us
to taste.
"Wine-tasting is an art in itself," he instructed,
"There are three things to consider: Color, nose, and
taste."
"Nose?" Steven asked. grimacing. "Smell,' Monsieur Rambaud replied. "Real hard to figure that out." Howard muttered
under his breath.
"I'm not as sophisticated as you, sue me,"
Steven retorted.
"I wish I could."
Madame Senetsky tapped her cane and they
both came to stiff attention.
"The appearance of the wine gives you an idea
of the type of
grape, the age, and whether it is good or
bad. Hold the first glass up to the light," he instructed,
and we all did so. "This is a buttery-yellow white
wine. Obviously either a Chardonnay or a French
Burgundy. The intensity of the wine, whether it is
opaque or closer to transparent, tells us about its age.
Older wines tend to be brownish at the edge. If it's
cloudy, it's probably spoiled.
"Now let us nose... smell it," he said. "Swirl it
in your glass as so, and then take a whiff."
"It smells like apples," I said.
"Ah. yes. It is a Chardonnay. Finally, let us
taste the wine. Take a small sip and suck the air
between your teeth. Hold the wine at the center of
your tongue for a few seconds longer to allow the
character of the wine to be apparent. Let's try this
Merlot." he said, switching to another glass he had poured for us all. Everyone took his or hers. "We are checking for acidity, tannin-- which will tell us if it's bitter or easy to drink-- body or weight, oakiness and
finish, the after taste.
"Now,," he said. "let us continue. First, we'll
finish with the whites..."
There were no less than ten bottles of white and
ten of red. We were supposed to only take a sip from
each and not swallow, but Steven took some good
gulps. By the time he reached the fifteenth glass, his
face was tomato red and his eyes were glassy. He was
making one silly remark after another. and Howard
was countering. I could see Madame Senetsky losing
her patience with them.
Finally it ended and we went on to the food. By
the end of the evening, I felt stuffed. I saw Steven had
gown sleepy. His eyelids were practically shut. We
finished the meal with a dessert called
Chocolate
Mousse Le Pain Perdu,
which was a bread pudding
topped with a caramel sauce. It was all delicious and I
ate far too much. I was actually somewhat nauseous at
the end of the meal. I wanted to get up to my room as
soon as possible, but when we were excused. Madame
Senetsky asked me to stay.
Because of the tone of Madame Senetsky's voice, the girls looked at me with pity as they filed out. Madame Senetsky thanked Monsieur Rai-ribald
and then, after he left, she turned to me.
"How dare you come down to one of my formal
dinners looking so unkempt? Did I not impress upon
you how important presentation is in our world?" "I--"
"Did I not stress that when you are a Senetsky
student, you are my representative, and what you do
reflects directly back on me?"
"I'm sorry," I began. "I was tired and I--" "Wipe off that lipstick," she ordered, but before
I could, she stepped forward and did it herself with a
silk napkin. Roughly, too,
"There are no excuses for failure in our world."
she snapped before I could offer any explanation.
"One either is successful or not. Excuses, mitigating
circumstances, accidents, fate, whatever you reach for
to save you will not change one moment of a poor
performance. Audiences are unforgiving and the
critics couldn't care one iota about our personal issues.
Once we're on stage, our lives, our real lives, are
forgotten. We can't use them to help us or protect us
or excuse us. The curtain rises, and when it does, we
must be ready to give the public what it has paid for and what it has a right to expect. After the curtain
falls, it is over, ended, a
fait accompli.
"I told you, all of you, every moment you're in
this house, studying with these fine teachers, you are
on stage. Is there any part of this you still don't
understand? Well?" she asked, pounding her cane. "No, Madame Senetsky." I looked down at the
table. I'm disappointed. If I had to choose one of you
who would fail me first. I would never have chosen
you. I thought I had made the reason clear to you the
other day," she added. referring, I'm sure, to her
telling me about her daughter.
I looked up at her, my eves so glazed with tears.
I felt as if I was looking at her through a veil. I started to say I was sorry again, but quickly
choked back the words.
"I do not permit many mistakes. Honey. Be
warned," she concluded, smacking her cane to the
floor again and standing. I stood quickly, too, my eyes
down again.
"You're excused," she said. and I hurried out of
the dining room.
I felt the tears break over the dam of my lids as
I
pounded up the stairway. How disappointed
Mommy and Daddy would be if I were sent home in disgrace. How would I ever face Uncle Peter's
gravestone again?
The girls and Howard were standing in the
hallway, waiting for me. From the sounds I heard
coming out of Steven's room. I knew he was
vomiting.
"The idiot is paying the price for drinking
instead of tasting the wines," Howard commented
after a particularly loud, ugly noise. "What did she
want from you?"
I looked at the girls and then just hurried into
my room before I burst into hysterical sobs. I felt like
I was going to vomit any moment, too, and had to get
some cold water on my face. All the girls followed
me.
"Are you all right?" Rose asked, coming to my
side. I shook my head.
"She was so angry I thought she was going to
ask me to leave right then and there. I had this
buttoned wrong." I said, turning to show them. "And
my lipstick was smeared. She wiped it off herself,
practically taking some of my skin and part of my lip
with it."
"I tried to warn you," Cinnamon said. "She called me disheveled, a great
disappointment. She said I was the last one she
expected to disappoint her."
I looked in the mirror. My hair was every which
way. "I'm sorry.
I
tried to get it neat for you," Ice said. "It's no one's fault but my own," I wailed. "I
feel sick to my stomach."
"That dinner was too rich," Cinnamon said.
"We had too much to taste."
I nodded and went to my bed. where I just
flopped on my back.
"At least none of us are as bad as Steven," Rose
said.
"He is going. to feel it more in the morning,"
Ice said. "I remember how my mother was sometimes,
many times. She would go drinking with her
girlfriends and suffer the next day, but it didn't stop
her," she pointed out.
"Your father let her?" Rose asked.
"He worked as a security guard
,
often at night,
and she just was frustrated. She's a beautiful woman,
and thinks she messed up her life by marrying and
having me."
"My mother went through something like that.
too." Rose said. "She wanted to regain her youth, but
she was being influenced, poisoned by someone else." She looked at us when we gave her expressions of
confusion.
"Who poisoned her?" Cinnamon asked. "The sister of the woman with whom my father
had his affair and other child. Her name is Charlotte
Alden Curtis. She's rich and has a house nearly as big
as this."
"Why did she do that to your mother?" Ice
asked.
"Her sister died in a terrible car accident on the
way to meet with my father. and Charlotte blamed
him and wanted to unload his sins on us. She trapped
us by inviting us to come live with her and help her
care for my half-brother Evan because he was
disabled and in a wheelchair. My mother was an easy
target- gullible. We didn't have any money. My father
barely left us enough to eat. We had no home. My
mother didn't have good job skills." Rose turned to
Ice. "She, too, was full of frustrations. That made her
an easy target. I suppose. She finally realized what
was happening, but it was almost too late."
Everyone was quiet.
"
I wonder if that will be my destiny, too." she
added. "I'll end up one day so frustrated and
disappointed in my life. I mean."
"It won't happen to any of us. Not if we stick
with our career goals and be what we need and want
to be." Cinnamon insisted. "Whether we like it or not.
Madame Senetsky can help us let there. We'll have to
put up with everything,"
"Even a sick Peeping Tom?" Ice asked. No one spoke for a moment, and then
Cinnamon firmly said. "No. We'll put an end to that if
it happens again. Everyone still up for the plan?" "I might get sick." I warned.
"So? Better you do it with one or more of us
around to help you. Let's all get into our nightgowns
and robes and meet in Rose's room in ten minutes. It's
about that time."
"What do I do?" Rose asked.
"Nothing different. This is a trap we're setting.
We don't want to give him any warnings. Okay?
Everyone agreed? Well?" she pounded.
"Okay," I said. Ice nodded.
I took a deep breath, fought back my nausea,
and prepared to join them in Rose's room, half hoping
g
it
would be a waste of time.
It
wasn't.

I had never had or participated in a pajama party. Ice and Cinnamon said they had never, either. but Rose told us she had when she was fourteen.

"I had made some friends and thought I was finally going to have a life. Shortly afterward, my father came home and told my mother and me we were moving again. I remember I cried a lot this time, just rained a storm of tears down my cheeks until the well of sorrow inside me dried up and left my heart aching."

"I bet you were afraid to make friends after that," Cinnamon said.
"Exactly. I was terrified of becoming too close to anyone or too involved in any activity. Good-byes were like tiny pins jabbed into my heart,"
She stared at the sad memories flashing over her eyes.
We were all sitting on the floor, each of us wrapped in the blanket we had brought along. We were situated so that we were just below the window. Rose, at Cinnamon's suggestion, left the bathroom lights on, making it look as if she was still in there, perhaps taking a shower or a bath.
"It doesn't seem like all that much of a big deal now when I think back," she continued. "but I do remember how much fun it was sharing secrets with your girlfriends. Everyone just seemed to be more honest, frank, and unafraid of revealing what a girlfriend of mine called
heart thoughts
."
"Heart thoughts?" I asked, I looked at Cinnamon and Ice, who both shook their heads.
"She had this theory that some thoughts don't come from our brains. They come directly from our hearts, traveling up to our brains, and finally, when we're being honest or care to be revealing, out through our lips."'
"That's silly," Cinnamon said, "Your heart doesn't have the neurological cells to form thoughts." Rose shrugged.
"She just meant that some feelings originated there and got translated into thoughts. I guess. Of course, she was mainly referring to our crushes on boys and our..."
"What?" Ice asked.
"Our sexual fantasies. I guess."
"Like what?" Cinnamon asked, Just asking brought a crimson glow into Rose's cheeks.
"One girl described closing her eyes while she was taking a bath and imagining a boy she liked a lot kneeling beside the tub and washing her body with a soft sponge."
We were all suddenly very quiet. Rose traced her finger along the carpet.
"When I was twelve," she continued, "I was at a friend's house. She had a swimming pool and some boys were there. We were all flirting and splashing each other. One boy, Neil Rosen, kept going under water and grabbing at our legs. He popped up in front of me and I fell backwards, As I fell, he reached out and grabbed the top of my bathing suit, allegedly to stop me from falling. It came off. and I screamed. I was so embarrassed I wished my head would sink into my neck. I felt like drowning myself afterward.
"Anyway. I told the girls the story, but I made it seem like a fantasy and not a true story. I felt guilty about it because I was letting them tell their true life secrets and I was hiding mine."
She looked ashamed.
"You shouldn't have worried about it. Half the things people write as fiction come from real events in their lives," Cinnamon said. "I was an expert liar, creative liar. I called it. but I based my tall tales on some thread of truth. We all do it."
I was going to disagree, but didn't. Maybe she was right. Maybe there were things I had said and done that I didn't want to expose.
"Whatever," Rose said. She took a deep breath and smiled. "We had a good time nevertheless, and with everyone around everyone else giving support, we called boys we dared not call on our own. I remember I was sorry the night came to an end. We all fought sleep until we were too exhausted to keep our eyelids open. Everyone was dragging around so dreadfully the next day, our parents thought we had participated in one wild party. I remember my mother saving, "Darlin'. you look like you chased Mr. Sandman out of your bedroom forever."
All three of us were smiling at her, actually feeling quite envious, as if keeping yourself up all night talking and flirting with boys over a telephone v.ras a rich, wonderful experience. Maybe it was. Maybe we had somehow missed out on so much.
I lowered myself to the floor and laid my head on a pillow.
Cinnamon was talking, describing what it had been like for her when her mother had been committed to a mental clinic after she had miscarried. It was a sad story, and interesting, too. but I was having trouble keeping myself awake. The food, the wine, the emotional tension made me very sleepy.
And then, suddenly, the feel of Ice's hand squeezing my ankle popped my eyes open.
"What?"
"Shh," Cinnamon warned. Everyone was quiet. A dark shadow moved over the window,
"He's back." Cinnamon whispered.
My heart began to pound like a parade drum. Cinnamon edged closer to the wall and slowly, ever so slowly, began to lift herself toward the window.
We scrunched down and crawled up beside her. She held her hand out to be sure we were still.
"Someone is out there," she whispered. "That's definitely no shadow or spirit."
"Oh, no." Rose moaned.
Then Cinnamon leaped up, throwing the window open at the same time.
We all stood.
Someone rushed off the ledge and up the ladder.
"Who's out here?" Cinnamon yelled. 'What are you doing here?"
She started to climb out.
"Wait," Ice said. "Maybe you shouldn't."
"We've got to." Cinnamon insisted. She went onto the fire escape ledge. Ice followed, and then I did the same. Rose hung back in the window,
"Look," Cinnamon said, pointing above.
We saw a figure climb the flight and step up on the ledge above. Whoever it was disappeared into the open window.
"That's on the side of the house off limits to us," Ice commented.
"Not anymore," Cinnamon said and started toward the ladder.
"No," Ice said, holding her back. "You'll make a big scene."
"We should."
"Maybe not yet,' Ice said.
"This is disgusting. A grown man doing something like this, and a well-known theatrical agent. too," I said.
"Let s deal with it tomorrow. We'll just approach Madame Senetsky and hand her the ascot," Ice said. "Let her handle it. It's her problem. too."
Cinnamon stood there, deciding, and not making an effort to come back m' side.
"What would you do anyway? Climb up the ladder and go through that window? Please," Ice begged. "Come on back inside."
She and I crawled back into the room. Cinnamon still lingered, looking up.
"Cinnamon?" Ice said.
She remained a moment more and then followed us in. Ice closed the window behind us.
"I don't think he'll be back after this."
I
said.
"I should have gone up," Cinnamon insisted, her eyes on the fire escape.
"Madame Senetsky will still believe us," Rose said. "Won't she? We'll all be able to tell her what we've seen. She's got to believe it if all of us tell her. right? Cinnamon? Right?"
"Yes. Okay," Cinnamon said, frustrated and angry. She turned to the door. "Let's go back to our own rooms now and get some sleep." She paused. "You all right. Rose?"
"I think so," Rose said.
"Keep the curtain closed tight and forget about him." I said. "Okay. Thanks, everyone," she replied in a small voice. We started out, closing the door softly behind us.
"He won't be back. That's for sure, isn't it?"
I
asked Cinnamon. She stood there, her eves darkening with thought.
"I don't know. There is something very odd about all this. Look at the hour," she said, holding up her watch.
It
was close to midnight. "He doesn't live here. right? Why would he be here so late and how would he explain all this to Madame Senetsky?"
"What are you saving?" Ice asked. "That's his ascot you have hidden in your room, isn't it?"
"Yes, but..."
"But what?" I asked her.
She put her finger to her lips so I would speak more softly. "Whoever that was wasn't wearing any shoes," she said.
"What?" Ice asked.
"He was barefoot," Cinnamon insisted. "I saw bare feet flash against the metal steps."
We were all quiet.
"Why would he be barefoot?" Ice finally voiced.
"And the feet," Cinnamon said.
"What about them?" She turned to me.
"They looked...small."
"You mean it was a child?" Ice asked.
"I don't know what it was, who it was. I mean."
"What the hell is going on out here?" we heard, and saw Howard in his doorway. "You're keeping me up." He was standing in his pajamas. "What are you doing? Planning your assassinations again?"
"We're not doing anything exciting. Howard," Cinnamon said. "Rose had a nightmare."
"Really? Must have been the wine."
"Right," Cinnamon said.
"Howard." I said.
"What?"
"Your barn door is open," I said. remembering Uncle Peter's sense of humor.
"What?" He grimaced.
"And the cow is about to leave."
He looked down at his pajama pants and quickly closed the door.
How good
it
felt to laugh.
Even if it was only for a few seconds.