Fallout (48 page)

PREGNANT WITH ME

Mom never did figure out the birth

control thing. I might be worried

about my paternity, except I look

almost exactly like Dad. Lucky me.

Like most mid-level dealers, they

smoked up the profits, and Denny’s tips

didn’t exactly cover what they owed

their supplier. Your mom got creative.

And she got busted. She and Trey

had already turned state’s evidence

once to get off a trafficking charge.

This time they were going away

for fraud. Check kiting. Identity theft.

They got two years in state prison.

Your mom delivered you the day

before they sent her away. Her mother

took you home from the hospital.

Kept you safe. Until she found me.

I’VE ALWAYS FELT

A strange connection

to Grandma Marie. Strange,

because we don’t see each other

all that often. Also a sort

of jealousy because

of Hunter. I mean, she

and Grandpa Scott adopted

him. When I was younger, and

in foster care, I wondered

why him and not me?

And I thought it was

because they didn’t have

enough love to go around. Semi-

irrational, I know. I mean, they

couldn’t reasonably

take in all of Mom’s

kids. And now, it seems,

they
did
take me in, at least for

a little while. But then, how

did I end up with Dad?

BACK TO THE ORIGINAL QUESTION

I wait for him to drop the butt

of his cigarette into the foam

at the bottom of the Pabst can.

Sssss!
The sound is snakelike.

Don’t much like snakes.

“So did Grandma Marie know

you were my father or what?

Did you know each other?”

Dad chuckles.
We had met once.

Let’s just say it didn’t go so well.

Your grandmother didn’t think much

of me, or of any of Kristina’s men.

Can’t really say I blame her.

Me either. Mom’s taste in men

is what you might call piss poor.

Kristina told her I was your father

and how to get hold of me.

The news came as a total shock.

I didn’t know what to do. I’d already

hooked up with Zoe by then.

ZOE

The name is like a punch

in the gut.
Whoomf!
There

goes my air. “So why did

you bring me home, then?”

Dad gives the smelly beer can

a wistful look.
First of all, I wanted

you. You were part of Kristina

and me. The best part of both

of us, as it turns out. Convincing

Zoe of that was something else.

But your Grandma Jean and grandpa

made me see I had to try.

I know the rest of the story,

at least what happened after

that. One thing I still don’t know,

though. “So where is my sister?”

He shrugs.
Trey’s sister, Cora
,

took her when he and Kristina

went to prison. I don’t have

a clue where they are now.

Your mother might know, or

maybe your Grandma Marie.

But I don’t think so. Last I heard
,

they’d dropped out of sight.

Dust in the distance signals

Kortni’s imminent return. As

the dirt cloud nears and the engine

rumble closes in, I ask one last

burning question. “Did you ever

think maybe you weren’t my father?”

No hesitation.
Of course. Not

like your mom was exactly what

you could call faithful, especially

not with crystal involved. She swore

she’d only been with me, but once

a liar, always a liar. First thing we

did when we brought you home

was get us tested. You’re mine.

THAT’S A GOOD THING, RIGHT?

Better to know for sure where

you come from than to go

through life wondering, even

if you’re not really certain you

like where you come from. Right?

Something to ponder.

Along with everything Dad

just confessed. Kortni pulls up,

parks, starts unloading bags

of groceries. Dad goes to help,

and I should too.

But I want to talk to Kyle.

I go inside, start toward

the phone, see the answering

machine light is blinking.

Why didn’t we hear it ring?

Too absorbed in storytelling?

Whatever. I hit the play button.

It’s my caseworker.
This is Alice

Shreeveport. We have been

informed of your unfortunate

incident. We need to discuss

Summer’s living situation. Please …

CALL HER

She wants Dad to call her.

To discuss my living situation.

I could erase the message.

Pretend we never got it.

But they’d only come looking.

Sooner or later they would.

New blow to my solar plexus.

This time my asthma kicks in.

I didn’t want to live here.

Breathe. Can’t. Find. Air.

So what if they take me away?

Breathe. Can’t. Find. Air.

Put me in another foster home?

Breathe. Can’t. Find. Air.

Send me to a different town?

Breathe. Can’t. Find. Air.

Away from Dad. Kortni. Kyle.

Breathe. Must. Find. Inhaler.