False Start (Love and Skate) (9 page)

             
Chase came, sat next to me and situated my arms so they resembled a cradle and they must’ve told me sixteen times to ‘hold her head’. And then they handed the warmed, blanketed tiny human to me and I knew instantly what all the fuss was about. She was asleep and everything about her was just amazing and soft. Just above her chin was indented deeply and her mouth sucked something invisible as she stirred. I gasped touching her fingers when one of her fingernails simply peeled off with my touch.

             
“It’s fine, they’re so thin. It doesn’t hurt her. In fact, it’s better so she doesn’t scratch her face.”

             
Ok, I didn’t kill her.

             
Thank God for Falcon’s quiet patience.

I finally allowed myself to lean back on the couch, letting go of the frozen posture I’d maintained, making sure I didn’t drop her. That would be just like me to drop a kid not even twenty four hours old. Her hair was a mix of metals, shines of gold and bronze and even silver were all present. Then she started to wiggle.

              “I think she’s waking up,” I told the air, hoping someone would pick up on my panic.

             
Falcon got up, he was halfway through a plate of food and Sylvia entered the living room from the bedroom. “Sit down, Falcon. I’ll heat a bottle, Mama and Veyda are fast asleep after her feeding. This time Victory will have to deal with the bottle.”

             
The little thing opened her eyes and looked around, not focusing on anything just awake.

             
“Hi, Victory,” I cooed with a voice I didn’t know I owned.

             
She grunted a bit, more like she was clearing her throat, making sure the room knew she was there, waiting for something. Sylvia sat beside me and I received another tutorial on feeding her. I had to tilt the bottle a certain way and still keep her head steady.

             
Nellie came in later and she and Sylvia had some kind of pow-wow about everything that needed to be done. Dinner was one of them.

             
“Let me go get y’all some dinner. I know you’ve got to be exhausted.”

             
“Man, that would be great. Let me get you some cash,” Falcon fumbled looking for his wallet.

             
“No, I’ve got it if someone would just relieve me of uncle duty.”

             
“Wait!” Nellie screeched and then slapped her hand over her mouth. She walked over, focused her phone and took a picture of me and the baby. I thought it was ridiculous but one simply did not argue with Nellie Black—ever.

             
Chase took Victory from me and I got up, my arms feeling almost non-existent with the weight lifted. I ran to the truck and headed towards the closest place I knew—a pizza place. I ordered six different pizzas and waited while they cooked. I sat on the red bench by the front door and checked my emails while I glanced back every once in a while at the guy making the pies.

             
A text came through:
This is too cute for words.
It was the picture of me Nellie had taken, but the text was from Hayes.

             
I could strangle her pink headed self for sending that to Hayes.

             
I replied: I only got to see one. That’s Victory.

             
Hayes: I bet you smell like baby. That’s the best smell in the world.

             
I smelled my arms and hands and then realized how challenged I must look. But she was absolutely right. I smelled like—baby.

             
Me: I do. And I possibly just embarrassed myself in the pizza place smelling myself. Thanks for that.

             
Hayes: Anytime.

             
Me: Wanna hang out? I can bring pizza.

             
Hayes: Sure. I’m starving.

             
Me: I’ll be there soon.

             
I added another large to the order and had to wait a few more minutes. I dropped off the pizzas. Reed and Veyda were up. Veyda was a carbon copy of her sister except she had blue eyes. And Reed was so calm and collected, like she’d prepped for this all along and was just basking in the glow of it. I made my excuses and Nellie just had to add her two cents.

             
“You’re going to see Hayes?”

             
“Maybe.”

             
“You owe me one little bro. I totally knew the baby pic would make her melt.”

             
“I certainly do owe you one.”

             
“Pick her up flowers,” Falcon added.

             
“Okay, anyone else?” I asked the room.

             
Reed chimed in, “Chocolate ice cream.”

             
“Ok, bye.”

             
“Bye, lover boy!” Nellie yelled and while I closed the door, I could hear everyone shushing her.

             
I drove to the store and picked up ice cream, per Reed’s instructions and then stopped at a florist and picked up daisies, per Falcon’s. Then I drove to her apartment, got everything out and barely managed to knock on the door with everything in my hands.

             
Hayes opened the door a few seconds later, “Hey! Oh good grief!” She tried to take something from my hands. She took the ice cream since it was in a bag looped around my fingers cutting off my circulation. I stumbled in and put the pizza on the table per her request. She put the ice cream in the freezer and I handed her the flowers, wishing I had something poetic to go with them.

             
“How are the babies and Reed?”

             
“Reed looks great. And those babies, well, before today I’d never held a baby and now I’ve held two. They are just beautiful.”

             
She sighed, “Do you think they’d mind if I went over there?”

             
“No, not at all. We can go before lunch on Saturday if you want.”

             
“That would be great. So…”

             
“So what?” Crap, I’d done something wrong.

             
“Are you gonna let me smell you?”

             
I laughed but didn’t know how to proceed. I stiffened in place. What was I supposed to do here? I bet there wasn’t an effing eighties movie that covered this situation.

             
And then she barreled into me, her arms gripped my shirt at my waist on my back. Her face burrowed into my chest, but still I was cemented in place.

             
“You’re supposed to hug back,” she mumbled against my shirt. I could feel the heat of her breath right against my sternum. And that one breath veined through my system, eking and growing until my whole body was trembling in the after effects. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if and when I kissed her, or if she kissed me.

             
After I delayed, she grabbed my arms and flopped them behind her back.

             
“Come on, I’m not that bad, am I?”

             
Hayes looked up at me with doleful eyes, looking for something I didn’t know whether or not I could give her. I didn’t want our first kiss to be like this. Our first kiss needed to be after another fantastic date. Tightening the hold I already had on her, I flattened my palms against her back and kissed her forehead.

             
“No, the furthest thing from bad.”

             
“Good. And I was right. You smell like baby and you.”

             
“What do I smell like?”

             
“Like green pine needles.”

             
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad.”

             
“Well, my dad used to take Hazel and me camping. He’d make us this tea of green pine needles, trying to show us survival techniques. But we’d always drink it when the cold had gone all the way through to our bones. It’s like cookies when you’re feeling bad.”

             
I felt like an idiot in the gifted class trying to figure out the meaning of everything she said. She couldn’t just say ‘yes’?

             
“Just so we’re clear, pine needles are good?”

             
“Pine needles are excellent.”

             
She hugged me tighter, our eyes still focused on one another.

             
“Are you hungry?”

             
I was getting uncomfortable, I could feel the dermis lift and her crawling her way under burrowing down deep. Yes, I could date her, maybe love her. But she was perfect and I was shattered.

             
“Yeah,” she looked defeated? Deflated?

             
We doled out the food and ate to the tune of some music she had on.

             
“What’s that band?”

             
“Sons of Sylvia.”

             
“Mom, not my mom, Mad’s mom is named Sylvia.

             
She nodded, mouth full.

             
“Team dinner got cancelled too?”

             
“Yup. So, I have a question for you.”

             
“Shoot.”

             
“How freaked out would you be about meeting my parents? They are really important to me and we’re pretty close.”

             
I cleared my throat. Did she have the heat on? I tugged at my collar again. The baubles of sweat piled around my neck forming a necklace that choked me even more than the thought of meeting her parents did.

             
“When,” I barely choked out in a voice that sounded a lot like pubescent Rex.

             
“Sunday. And you’re doing that thing again.”

             
“What thing?”

             
“The thing where you get nervous and tug at your collar.”

             
“Sorry. I’m not good with—people. I know that sounds stupid. I was just brought up sheltered, you could say. I don’t want to embarrass you.”

             
She practically threw her pizza down and got up to get a paper towel for her and one for me.

             
“Nope. It is stupid. Your family loves you. Now I’m making you come to meet them. My dad’s gonna love you.”

             
It was strange for me to be around a girl who told me what to do. It was almost like being around Nellie at power level ten. Except when Hayes did it, I loved it. I wanted to pull the ends of Nellie’s hair when she did it. But Hayes, I wanted to lie down and tell her to give me more orders.

             
Anything you want.

             
Then again, there were lots of things I wanted to tell her to do in turn.

             
Starting with her lips.

             
There was something seriously wrong with me.

             
I am cracked beyond surgeon’s knowledge and welder’s skill.

             
She was so perfect. I wanted to tell myself to go to hell.

             
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

             
“Deal. Now, who put you up to getting ice cream?”

             
“Reed.”

             
“And the flowers?”

             
“Falcon, but I chose them.”

             
She grunted an acknowledgement but said nothing else. After we finished eating she looked tired. The strangest sensation filled me. I wanted her approval. I needed to know what she liked so I could repeat it as soon as possible. I’d never sought anyone’s approval.

             
It thrilled me.

             
It scared me.

             
It heated my veins and burned my cells at the stake.

             
What was this?

             
“I’m gonna go home and try to get some sleep. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at eleven, so we can go see the babies. Is that okay?”

             
She looked put out, like I’d offended her. I needed out—now.

             
Even the walls began to pulse.