Falter (44 page)

Within minutes, our surroundings looked as though we’d never left. Soft candle light played happily along the smooth walls, and the blanket invited us to crawl into bed. The only thing different was me.
 

I left this room with a damaged soul, denying myself the love God so freely gave, refusing to put my faith in anything. I returned mended and with an understanding I didn’t have before.

“Are you okay, Nevaeh?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I answered as Archard collapsed on the floor. I gasped and dropped by his side, frantically shaking his shoulders, but he didn’t wake. His heavy body lay unresponsive at my knees. “Help! Someone help me!” I screamed, hoping that one of the other angels would hear. I scooted to his head and cradled it in my lap, praying for him to open his eyes.

Arkin barreled through the door seconds later, panting. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. He just crashed to the floor.” My vision blurred as I fought to restrain my tears. “We came through the portal and he just...he fell.” My voice shook uncontrollably. I worried that Archard was in more pain or harm because of me.

“You came through a portal?” Arkin stopped moving and stared at me with steel eyes, and then looked down at Archard. “Purgatory,” he said.
 

“What? No…I don’t know.” I pondered the thought for a moment, growing more frustrated by the possibility that Archard might have taken me somewhere like Purgatory—not that I knew what that meant, but I sure-as-shit knew it wasn’t somewhere I was supposed to go by the disappointed expression on Arkin’s face. “Are you going to help him or not?” I snapped back, not caring to explain where we’d gone.

“No need to get feisty, kitten,” he retorted. His surprised expression relaxed, and his lips tightened into a smirk. “I see he’s taken care of your little issue of succumbing to our graces.” Arkin stepped closer and kneeled beside Archard. He placed a hand on my angel’s chest as I watched in hopeful silence. “He’ll be peachy before you know it. He just needs some rest.” Arkin smiled at me reassuringly and winked while making a clicking sound with his mouth.

I managed to calm myself enough that I didn’t choke on my words. “What’s wrong with him?”

He grabbed Archard’s arms and pulled him upright. “It takes a lot out of us when we go through a portal, Nevaeh.” Arkin hoisted the sleeping angel over his shoulder, then laid him on the bed. “We’re not supposed to cross portals.” He grunted, maneuvering Archard into a comfortable position. I was impressed with how gentle the strong, cocky angel was when handling his brother.

“I’ve seen an angel cross a portal before with no problem.” Malach came to mind as I sat on the bed next to Archard.

“What angel have you seen?” Arkin asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

“An Archangel,” I responded sheepishly.

“Hmm. And I was under the impression that we were the only angels that cared.” He grinned.

“Maybe...maybe not.” I dropped my gaze to the unconscious being beside me. The room filled with an awkward silence. Arkin waited for me to tell him what I knew, but I decided to ignore any further conversation on the topic for now.

“Ya know, he’s not the only one that made sacrifices for you, Nevaeh,” he added, sounding offended by my secrecy.

I looked into the hurt eyes staring at me from the other side of the bed. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “There are some people that were with me in the beginning of this mess...I’m not sure where I stand with them anymore, and I’m having a hard time knowing who to trust. Right now, I can barely trust myself. I’m working on it though.”

“You can trust us.”
 

“Arkin, it’s not that easy. There is so much I don’t know. So much that’s kept from me.” I nudged my chin towards Archard. “I just need someone to give me some straight answers.” Tears welled in my eyes.

His eyes fixed on Archard as he mulled through something in his mind. “What do you want to know?” he asked after a few moments of what appeared to be some serious consideration.
 

“Why me?” I whimpered. “Why George?”

“George was sent to you for protection. He did what was asked of him, but I suspect the others found out what you are and saw an opportunity to persuade you. Unfortunately, he became another soul lost in the battle.” His gaze darted to mine. “And you, cupcake...you are The Clavis. You
are
what God made you. You’re gonna do great things in his name. There’s no need for more explanation than that.”

I didn’t argue, but I still wasn’t sure about my part in all this. “The demons said I only had a week to save George. Are we too late?” I choked out the words as I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. “Can I still save him?”

“Nevaeh, by my count, you’ve only been gone one day, but I don’t know how you plan on getting to him without giving yourself up in the process.”
 

I knew what the right thing to do was—declare myself Light Celatum— and I truly wanted to do the right thing, but I wasn’t quite ready to commit, not until I could find a way to get George’s soul where it belonged. Besides that, I still needed answers, and maybe holding off on my choice just a little longer would encourage the angels to give up information I was missing.
 

“Why was George sent to protect me? What happened to my family, Arkin?”

He sighed heavily, emotions torn again. “All I know is that your mom didn’t die like you were told. She just sorta went away.” He paused and glanced at Archard lying motionless on the bed, making sure he was still unconscious. “Your grandmother was your caretaker until the demons found you. Archard stayed too close, and they figured out that something was special about you. Once he drew their attention to you, they could smell the Celatum in your blood. He unintentionally led them straight to you, despite your family’s efforts to keep you hidden.”

“Wait. How could my mom just disappear? Don’t guardians have some kind of tracking device on their people?”

He smiled slyly, “We do...until they opt for the other side. Her angel went rogue too. It’s kinda hard to track when you don’t have a lead or connection, sweet cheeks.”

“So, she’s Dark?” I buried the fear bubbling up as I thought about the person, or creature, she might be after all this time.

“We don’t know for sure. It’s just our best guess,” he answered.

“What about Archard? I thought Guardians were supposed to stay close to humans. How was he
too
close?” My eyes wandered to my angel’s hand resting on the bed next to mine.

“We stay close, but invisible, to our charges. He appeared to you one day. You were hiding in a thicket. The demons were closing in on you from the branches. I’m sure you don’t remember. You were so young.” He shook his head and smiled sweetly at the memory of me as a child. “Archard grabbed you from the darkness and saved you. That was the demons’ first clue. Most of us just help from the sidelines. We let you make your own choices, but gently nudge in times of danger.” He moved his hands in a soft pushing motion.

“I do remember that. It was one of my few memories on the farm. Hell, it’s one of the few memories I have period.”

“Well, you held onto it for quite some time. A few years, actually. You knew you were different from the other kids. It became harder for Theora to keep you safe and hide what you were. The demons swarmed your house one night. She took you to a boat, miles away, and planned on running with you.” Arkin lowered his gaze to the floor, his lips settling into a frown. “That’s when something happened, and we lost track of you.”
 

Flashes of one of my dreams replayed in my mind. The old lady with a young girl, it was her and me.
 

“What happened, Arkin?”
 

The palpable heaviness of heartache crept through the room, and I could see that the recollection was painful for him. “We were on the boat with you and Theora, trying to figure out how to keep you safe. The demons had followed us and clouded the air, trapping us from all sides. We fended them off, by using our holy powers. The first chance we got, we escaped. Archard and I steered the boat under a bridge far away from them. That’s where the three of us decided to erase your memories. It was too dangerous for you to carry the knowledge of our world any longer; He should’ve never let you see. The more you knew, the easier they would find you.” His eyes darkened with regret. “We knew you were special, too. We just didn’t know why until much later.”

Shocked and mad as hell, I glared at him, teeth grinding and nostrils flaring. “I can’t believe you guys would do something like that. What about this free will you keep talking about?” They took my childhood away.

He ignored my outburst and continued. “That was when we gave up our Holiness for you, Nevaeh. Theora was old and knew she wasn’t able to take care of you anymore. Not like you needed.” A single tear rolled down his cheek. “Archard and I gave it up to stay here on Earth and look after you until the day you became a Celata.”

“A lot of good that did,” I spat, crossing my arms over my chest.
 

I couldn’t look at either of them. I rose from the bed and paced to a lonely corner of the room, wanting so badly to leave. I should’ve known the information I was searching for might not have been what I actually wanted to hear.

Squeaking broke the silence when Arkin dragged the only chair in the room across the floor. I turned to find him sitting next to Archard, his elbows pressing firmly into his knees and his forehead resting on top of his clasped hands. He took a deep breath. “It weakened us when our Holiness ripped away from our souls. It was five minutes of torture that seemed like an eternity.” A tear fell from between his hands and soaked into his jeans. “And in those five minutes, the demons caught back up with us. I remember lying on the floor of the boat next to Archard, paralyzed in unimaginable pain, while Theora tried to row us out of danger. Her failing body couldn’t steer the boat. We capsized just as the demons were about to grab you.”
 

 
He shuddered. Some of my anger toward them melted away. I could sympathize with what they experienced. The helplessness, the pain, even the feeling of my soul ripping away offered some insight to what they must have felt during those moments.

He sat back and wiped his glossy eyes with the palms of his massive hand. “We all went under. You were gone. Theora’s body had washed up on a bank a few miles down when we found her.” His stare grew distant, perhaps picturing what happened. He lost more than his Holiness that day.

“Arkin?” He jerked when the sound of my voice interrupted his thoughts. “Were you my grandmother’s Guardian?”

He didn’t nod, shrug, or even grimace. “She wanted to protect you above herself. She begged and begged despite my unwillingness. It was almost like she knew what you were to become.” He shook his head slowly. “She loved you so much.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Archard’s hand reach out and touch Arkin’s leg. “Sorry, man, she needed to know,” Arkin apologized.
 

Archard nodded his head in approval. The two brothers locked hands and stared at each other for a short moment, comforting the pain they had shared for so long.
 

“How long have you known about me? How long did it take you to find me?” I asked quietly, changing the subject.

Arkin glanced at Archard, silently asking for permission to continue answering my questions. Archard swiped his hand through the air, granting him consent. “Honestly, we’ve searched all these years for you. Found some other Celatum along the way, and other Guardians that had gone rogue for their own reasons. We just kinda joined forces, I guess, without even questioning it. We didn’t find you until your angel here bumped into you on the steps of that cafe.” He grinned and looked to Archard again, waiting for him to take over.

“The moment I touched you, I knew who you were. I’d expected us to find each other much sooner, but somehow we didn’t. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to. George seemed to be doing a much better job than me.” Archard smiled. “Ya know, he knew exactly what I was talking about when I asked him about you. He said another angel had shown him how important you were when he found you. He just didn’t know what to call you.” The angels snickered together and exchanged knowing glances. “The poor guy didn’t know that in his drunken stupor he had met God himself.”

I thought about the dream I had the day Margie was murdered. I recalled the vision of God leading George to me. “George took care of me, knowing what I am?” I assumed God just pushed him in my direction and asked him to look after me. I never knew that George had any clue about this side of me, or that he remembered the night he found me clearly enough to understand he’d met a supernatural being.
 

“Cupcake, he didn’t just know, he accepted it. He agreed to keep you hidden.” Arkin grinned proudly. “Even from yourself.”

I snorted, remembering the recent events that led me to ask George for help. He knew I wasn’t crazy the whole time, but he couldn’t say anything without potentially putting me in danger with the demons.

Archard wriggled himself up in the bed and rested against the wall. “George said the angel told him you were different than the other Celatum. That you would be able to do things no one else could.”
 

“So, that’s why you think I’m The Clavis?”

Arkin’s head bobbed, and he leaned forward, grinning from ear to ear. “We’ve known you were Celatum since you were very small, but—“