Family (39 page)

I know … that sounds a little crazy. My husband always teases me about my close connection with these fictional people. He often says that when I’m old and forgetful, I’ll probably get our kids and my characters mixed up. “I can just hear you,” he says, “saying, ‘That Ashley! She never calls, never writes!’”

We share a good laugh over it, but there’s a deeper truth that always stands out when we talk about these series-the importance of family.

One of the key things I felt God wanted me to illustrate with the Firstborn series was that nothing compares to having a family. Not fame or success or wealth or popularity, not having the right job or the right car or the right clothes. All of that can get us by, and to the world we can look like we’re doing pretty well. But without family, it’s a lonely life we come home to.

328

Now I know some of you reading this are thinking you’d give anything to have a family. Your lonely life has not come by your choosing. For you, I can only say hold on. God wants you involved with people. If your biological family has died or moved away, He wants you teaching a Sunday school class or attending a small group, joining an outreach ministry, or volunteering at the church library.

Churches are supposed to be families, and whether you have one waiting for you at home or not, becoming part of a church family will make your life rich.

That said, most of you do have a biological family-a group of ragtag people who don’t always say and do the right things but who gather around the dinner table with you each night or show up at birthdays and Christmastime. Think about those people. That’s something I did as I wrote this book; I spent a lot of time thinking about my family.

God has put your family members in your life for a reason. They may not all be lovable, but they all need loving. Sometimes getting past the hurts and strained relationships that can come up in families is as simple as making a choice to love.

And so I thought I’d share three things that our families need from us-whether children, siblings, parents, or distant relatives. These are things I’ve noticed while raising a family these past seventeen years. They need our time, our touch, and our testimony.

Time is fleeting, no question. Around our house we smile and say, “Time is a thief!” and it’s true. I like telling how one spring day my husband and I dragged our kids from a quaint play area at Sea World and hurried them across the park to the sea lion show.

Out of breath and a few minutes late, we hurried to the top of the stairs and searched for a seat. There was one row still open, about two-thirds of the way down. I pointed at it and took off, but there was a problem. The steps alternated in width-big,

329

small, big, small-and while my foot fit nicely on the first step, I completely missed the second one.

The tumble down those stairs caught the attention of the entire stadium-including the sea lions, who were already onstage. Many people turned their video cameras toward me thinking I was part of the show. To make matters worse, I had on a backpack full of our kids’ belongings, so as I rolled and fell and sputtered, things were preceding me down the stairs. Water bottles, combs, ChapStick, apples. I was truly a sight.

As it turned out, I stopped rolling and falling right at the empty row. I stood up, waved off the crowd, and motioned for my husband-still standing shell-shocked at the top of the stairs-to bring the children and join me.

Later, when I was certain I had no broken bones, I took stock of the fiasco and realized something. What was my hurry? It was supposed to be a day with the kids, time to make memories together and appreciate the sights at the park. Why didn’t I stay at the quaint play area and push my kids on the swings? Couldn’t we have caught a later viewing of the sea lion show?

The ordeal reminded me that our families need time. National statistics say that most parents spend only three minutes each day having one-on-one time with their kids. Let’s make sure we spend more time than that with the people we love.

Our families also need our touch. A pat on the back, a hand hold, a hug-these are very real ways to communicate love. A study on the power of touch was conducted at a Korean orphan4 age. Babies were split into two groups. The first received only Inominal, standard care as was the practice at the facility. The second group was given fifteen minutes additional time in the arms of the workers. During that period, the babies were cradled and cooed at, their tiny arms and legs stroked by the workers.

The results of the study were mind-boggling. The babies in the second group thrived beyond anyone’s imagination. They gained weight and height and head circumference and suffered

330

90 percent fewer illnesses. Though the study lasted just six weeks, the benefits could be seen in the babies until their first birthdays.

Please … hug the people in your life. Let them know you care. My brother who died this past October was an amazing hugger. He couldn’t always say the words, but I knew he loved me because of his hugs.

Finally, the people you love need your testimony, your story. Every one of you reading this has a story, something you’ve overcome or a lesson you’ve learned.

A journey of faith. Take time to work your history into the conversations you have with your families.

My husband was one of those few young men who-when I met him-made it clear that he wanted to be sexually pure. His dedication to God turned my head and made me take a long look at faith. Eventually I gave my life to the Lord because of what I saw in him. Now it’s up to us to share that story with our children so they’ll understand purity in a very personal way.

In some ways I see all of you as part of my extended family. If you’ve read these books, then you already know a great deal about my heart. When we connect on my Web site (www.KarenKingsbury.com) through the pages dedicated to discussion or prayer requests and through my weekly journal of happenings or at one of my events, I truly feel like I’m meeting a friend. I pray for you daily, that God would use the power of story to deepen your faith and change your relationships. How awesome is our God that He gives us these fictional people to teach us truths that can help us every day. They help me; I know that.

By the way, I’m starting a new and ongoing contest. Each spring I will pick one winner and fly that person and a friend out to the Pacific Northwest for a summer day with me and my family. We’ll see the sights and share meals and laughter and make memories we won’t forget. In addition, you will go on a forever

331

list to receive a free, signed Karen Kingsbury book for every new release I have from here on out. As long as I’m writing books! Here’s how you enter.

Share a Book-Spend a Day with Karen Contest 1.Lend one of my novels to someone you know, someone who hasn’t read one before. This person can be a friend, a neighbor, a cashier at your local grocer, someone at church, or a family member. Even a stranger.

Anyone who hasn’t read a Karen Kingsbury book. LifeChanging Fiction isn’t lifechanging unless it’s being read.

2.Next, contact me at my Web site, www.KarenKingsbury.com.

E-mail me with the subject line: Shared a Book. In the body of the e-mail, tell me the first name of the person you shared my book with and why you felt compelled to share it. Also include your contact information. This will enter you into the drawing.

What you win:

1.A trip to the Pacific Northwest, where you and a friend will spend a day with me and my family.

2.One copy of a signed Karen Kingsbury book for every release I have thereafter.

By doing these two simple steps, you will automatically be entered into a drawing. If you share one of my books with more than one person, please feel free to enter each time. The first drawing will be held at the end of March 2007, and the winner will be selected at random. The first prize-winning trip will take place the following summer. After that, I will choose a winner each March until further notice. You can check www.KarenKingsbury.com to make sure this contest is still ongoing.

332

I pray this finds you healthy and happy and drawing closer to the families you’re a part of. As for me, I’m taking time to play some Frisbee with my kids today. I’m sure I’ll get a chance to hug them a little in the process.

Until next time, in His light and love,

ICanen fCmaibii/uf,

333 Discussion Questions

Use these questions for individual reflection or for discussion with a book club or other small group. They will help you not only understand some of the issues in Family but also integrate some of the book’s messages into your own life.

1.Fear was something that marked Katy’s time with Dayne from the beginning.

Explain a few of the things Katy was afraid of.

2.Explain when fear was part of one of your relationships. Discuss how your situation was similar to Katy’s and Dayne’s or how it was different.

3.What were Dayne’s concerns as the trial began? What were his hopes?

4.Fear also played a role in John Baxter’s decision to keep information from his children. What did you think about this?

5.Was there a time when you withheld information from your children? Share the details and how they are similar to John’s situation.

6.Have you ever wanted to be a celebrity? Why or why not?

7.What do you feel is right or wrong with our society’s fascination with celebrities?

8.What was the turning point that caused Dayne to believe his blossoming relationship with Katy was over? What was his motivation for this?

9.Which of the Baxter kids are you most like? Brooke, Kari, Ashley, Erin, or Luke? Explain why.

10. Talk about the different personalities in your family or a family you’re connected with and how they work together.

334

11.Can you see comparisons between some of your family members and the Baxter family? Who and why?

12.Why was Ashley so adamant about meeting her older brother?

13.What advice did Dayne’s missionary friend Bob Asher give him?

14.Has there ever been a time in your life when you needed that sort of advice?

Discuss this.

15.If you listed what was important to you, what would the first five things be?

Evaluate whether you are living your life according to that list.

16.What role does Jenny Flanigan play in Katy Hart’s life? Do you have a similar relationship with your mother or father or with an older, respected friend?

17.What is the importance of having someone you can call for advice? Think about whom you call when you’re struggling. Share your thoughts on this.

18.How did Ashley see Dayne the first time they met? As a movie star or as her older brother? Explain this.

19.The Baxters frequently get together for picnics and dinners. Talk about how often you spend time with your family. What is the importance of such gatherings?

20.Define the word family. WTiat does it mean to you? How can you improve the relationships you have with yours?

335 Turn the pagejor an exciting preview of FOREVER

the fifth book in the FIRSTBORN SERIES

by Karen Kingsbury

Available spring 2007

ISBN I-4143-0764-0

www.tyndalefiction.com

336

337 From

by Karen Kingsbury

There were moments when the sun seemed to be shining so brightly on her life that Katy Hart could barely stand beneath it. Moments when she would be getting ready for a day of Christian Kids Theater rehearsals or folding laundry or filling her tank with gas and she’d have to check her ring finger. Just to be sure it had really happened.

Dayne Matthews had asked her to marry him.

Overnight her life had gone from foggy uncertainty to crystal-clear panoramas.

They were talking about a simple wedding that would take place on the shore of Lake Monroe. Dayne had already met with a woman in Hollywood known for her brilliance at pulling off secret ceremonies, events the paparazzi never figured out until they were over.

The job would be a tough one, and already Katy had resigned herself to the possibility that the press might find out, that helicopters could circle overhead and cameramen could infiltrate between the trees along the lake to get a picture. Whatever. They’d already dragged her name across the cover of the tabloids.

338

339 CD

340

And if that weren’t enough, earlier this morning Katy had done the one thing Dayne had asked her to do.

She’d found a house.

“Wherever we live, I’ll be happy,” he’d told her after he returned home from their big Fourth of July weekend when he’d proposed to her. “As long as I’m with you, as long as we’re in Bloomington.” His smile was practically audible over the phone line. “Although, I have this props job I’m interested in, so I should probably be pretty close to the theater.”

“Right.” She giggled. Gone were the sad, drawn-out conversations between them.

Instead they were always laughing, always playing. She made her voice more official. “Of course, that’s only if the director gives you a job.”

“True.” He paused. “But see, I know her. Got her wrapped around my finger.”

“Is that right?”

“Yep.” His tone changed just enough to let her know this next part was serious.

“But not nearly like I’m wrapped around hers.”

Dayne called every day, and each time they seemed closer, more in love than before. She’d asked him more than once if when they were married he wanted to live out in the country on acreage like the Baxters or closer to the town. But all he’d say was, “Not too far from the lake.”

“On the lake?”

Dayne chuckled. “That’s my little dreamer. I thought you said there were never any homes for sale on the lake.”

“Almost never.” She felt her determination rise. “Let’s see what God turns up.”

“All right.” He didn’t sound concerned. “But don’t get too caught up in it, Katy. We can always find the perfect house later.”

Katy had looked every day since then, and finally she found it. She was driving near the lake looking for wedding locations 341