Family Dynamics (Pam of Babylon Book Five) (22 page)

“I do,” Dan said. “If there is one thing that bothers me about us, it’s that we don’t have any history. I wish I’d gone to high school with you. Taken you to your prom. Had kids with you.”

She tried not to smile.
He’s a romantic
, she thought.

“So if I can’t have those things, I can at least inform myself about your life prior to me. I have to make it my business to know everything there is about you, inside and out.” He stuck his tongue out at her and rolled his eyeballs around, teasing her. She smacked his arm.

“Gross,” she said, laughing. But she pressed her body up against his as they held each other. “It’s almost one, and I have to get some sleep. Do you want to spend the night? I have five empty bedrooms, so take your pick. Three down and two up.”

“Down here is great,” he said. They got up and stretched, and she grabbed his hand as she led him back to Marie’s old room and said goodnight. Over time, she’d removed any belongings of Marie’s and returned it to a sterile, neutral bedroom. Marie wasn’t there any longer, but if she were, Pam knew she’d love hanging around Dan. She kept these thoughts to herself.

She got into the shower, and as she let the water run over her body, she thought about Dan in a room on the other side of the house. Jack came into her thoughts. She imagined him sitting on their bed in his suit, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. But he’d be angry, jealous that she was with another man. He didn’t even like to think of her talking with men and didn’t allow her to speak of her encounters with the handyman or the accountant, the gardener or the postman.

“Stop torturing me,” he’d say.

She’d laugh at him. “Jack, you should know what’s going on with the household..”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to hear about anything another man has to say to my wife.” She got into bed, and the fantasy continued. Jack would wait until he could see Pam with Dan for himself. He’d be crushed watching them embrace, acknowledging that Dan was young, handsome, and dynamic. Pam fell asleep with the image of her late husband walking away from his former home, his wife in the arms of another man.

The next morning, she woke up just as the sun was strong enough to peek over the drapes. She was confused at first, not sure of the day. Then, smiling, she remembered it was Saturday morning and that Dan was in the children’s wing. Forgotten were the dreams about unrequited love that left tears stains on her cheeks. She rolled onto her back and stretched her arms above her head. The clock said seven. And then she remembered she needed to get Nelda transferred to The Eagle’s Nest and to try to find out where that damn Steve was. She expected Sandra to call her any second, complaining that the baby had cried all night or that she needed to get ready for the next week and it didn’t include hauling a baby around. Pam dreaded that she might be forced to take the child. What kind of life would Miranda have, living with a reluctant aunt? It was what nightmares were made of.
You’re getting ahead of yourself
, she thought.
Steve probably came back late and has Miranda with him, back in the Village
. Wishful thinking.

Pam rushed through her morning routine. Dan was sitting on the veranda, drinking coffee. He’d taken over the kitchen and found what he needed to make a pot of coffee. Pam was grateful and poured a cup for herself. She had no desire to take care of Dan as she had Jack and even Dave. Yet she felt a stronger kinship to him, for lack of a better word. It was as though they were already good friends.

“Good morning,” she said as she walked through the sliding glass door. She bent down to kiss his cheek and sat down next to him. She blew on the cup of coffee he poured for her and took a sip. “This is really good. It’s been a long, long time since anyone made coffee for me in the morning.”

“It’s so nice out here,” Dan said.

“What time did you get up?” Pam asked. He’d gotten up at six and walked the beach, got a shower, and made coffee. She looked at what he had on: his undershirt and suit pants. “Do you want to look through my son’s closet? There’s probably a pair of shorts you can put on.” He shook his head.

“In a bit I’m going to run home, pack a bag, and head back. Is that OK with you? I mean, I’m not pushing things, am I?” He reached his arm around her while he sipped his coffee. She had to admit that his eagerness to be with her gave her a thrill. She didn’t feel like she normally would, needing to be alone, being fearful of suffocating from all the attention.

“No, come back. I have to get my mother in that nursing home today. The thought of having to spend one second doing something I don’t want to do is really making me angry. Can you believe how selfish I am? A year ago, I lived for this sort of crap.”

“You aren’t selfish,” Dan told her. “Your mother doesn’t understand how lucky she is.” He stood up and pulled her up to her feet. “Walk me to the door.” They said good-bye, and he promised he’d be back in an hour. Pam locked the door behind him and went back to the veranda to get her coffee cup. She dreaded making the calls, but the sooner she did so, the sooner it would be finished.

The registration office at the nursing home was closed for the weekend, but they had someone who could do emergency admissions. Since Bernice’s unfortunate escape, the staff was more than willing to help out with Nelda. As soon as she was discharged, an ambulance would transfer Nelda to The Eagle’s Nest, where she would share a suite with Bernice Smith. Pam chuckled to herself, remembering a scene not so long ago when the news that Nelda Fabian would be encroaching on Smith territory made Bernice have a childish temper tantrum. Now, the nurses said she was thrilled that Nelda was joining her. Hopefully, the elders would finally be situated comfortably, and Pam wouldn’t have to worry about them. She returned the phone to the charger when the doorbell rang. Pam frowned; it was too soon for Dan to be back. The buzzer went off again; whoever was there was getting impatient.

“Just a minute!” Pam called out, annoyed. Unlocking the door, she swung it open. “Lisa!”

Chapter 26

C
arolyn got home in time to prepare for the boys. While she was on the train headed for home, the allure of having Steve interested in her had waned considerably. The last thing on Earth she wanted was to care for a toddler. Although she’d hoped to spend the weekend with him, it looked like that plan was not going to happen. She went into her bathroom to freshen up before Frank got there. Lately, he’d taken to coming in the house and having a cup of coffee or glass of wine with Carolyn. Sometimes her parents joined them, and the conversation always got around to Frank coming to his senses and returning home. Carolyn laughed it off, but she could see that Frank was thinking about it. She wondered what was going on with June. The last time she dropped the boys off on a Sunday evening, June was so solicitous, Carolyn was suspicious that she was about to ask for a favor. She’d concluded that June was a nice woman who’d listened to the lies of a married man. Maybe they were having second thoughts about their “undying love” for each other. One more glance in the mirror determined that she looked pretty good.
Eat your heart out, Frank
.

While Carolyn fantasized about reuniting with her ex-husband, Steve Marks was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike toward the Delaware border. His sister lived in Fenwick Island and would put him up until he found a job. She owed him big time. Now it was her turn to take care of him. She’d been in and out of rehab, and he was always there, rooting for her. He spent the money to buy her a nice little trailer a few blocks from the beach. She worked at a hotel in Ocean City as a housekeeper and had a bar stool with her name on it in the lounge. She couldn’t wait to see Steve. Abandoning Miranda to the care of Sandra had a profound effect on him; he was absolutely joyful! He had the radio on full blast and the windows down and felt like he was twenty-five. In Salem, he stopped for gas. As he stood at the side of his car, fueling up, he caught a glimpse of himself in the window and was quickly brought back down to Earth. He was an aging alcoholic who’d worked all his life and didn’t have one single thing to show for it. He didn’t even have any pension savings; he had cashed in years ago when he’d had a DUI and the attorney turned around to sue him for non-payment of his bill. The best thing in the world was to have someone else raise his kid. It didn’t occur to him that he could’ve relinquished his parental rights and chosen who was going to have her. It was simply easier to run away.

He went into the convenience store to get a pack of cigarettes and a six-pack. Being out of Manhattan on the road felt like he was on route to a much-deserved vacation. When he got back to the car, he lit up a cigarette and popped the tab on a can of beer. The lighthearted feeling stayed with him while he whistled along to the radio, even as his car was rear-ended by a semi-trailer and pushed off the bridge into the deep water of Delaware Bay.

It was the first time in her life that Pam Smith wasn’t thrilled to see her daughter. Lisa caught on right away, in spite of her mother’s display of surprise. The disappointment peeked through in spite of her trying to squelch it.

“Oh Mom, I caught you at a bad time. I can see that,” she said, immediately contrite. Pam was so taken aback that her transparency may hurt her daughter that she grabbed her and hugged her.

“That’s fine! What’s wrong with me? Are you OK? Why are you here?” Then Pam saw Ryan. “Hi, I’m Lisa’s mother, Pam,” she said, softly. She’d heard about Ryan but had a completely different picture in her head of what he would look like. The Ryan of her imagination was tall and lanky, like a Smith. This young man was bordering on obese, shorter than Lisa, with a sparse, red beard. Pam couldn’t help it; he reminded her of a sea captain. All he needed was a pipe in the corner of his mouth. Pam was standing eye-to-eye with him.

“Mom, meet Ryan! I told him last night that I wanted to go home, and he said, ‘OK!’ So here we are! But I’m interrupting something, I just feel it.”

“Come in and put your suitcases down. I’ll fix us something to drink, and we can catch up,” Pam said. She took drink orders and went into the kitchen to get a can of Coke and an iced tea. She hesitated about putting a plate of cookies out, too, thinking,
It’s not my business to put this kid on a diet
. “So tell me what’s going on? Did you take your finals?” She picked up the tray of snacks and went out to the veranda, Lisa and Ryan following.

“We did, and we’re home free for the summer. I want to lie on the beach every day,” she said, looking at Pam. “If it’s OK with you.” Pam didn’t respond right away. She looked out at the water, trying to figure out what she would do. It was something she’d hoped for since Lisa went away to school, her children being home for the summer. But that all changed when Dan came into her life.

“Well, I am surprised. I’ll be honest with you.” She turned to look Lisa in the eyes. “I’m seeing someone, and it has the potential for getting serious. He spent the night and just left to get his things so we could spend the weekend together.”

“I know you like Dave, Mom. I do, too.” Lisa said.

Pam shook her head. “No, it’s not Dave. Dave and I are just friends. This is someone who—well, I guess I should just say I was not expecting any of this to happen. So if you are OK with him being in Marie’s old room tonight, then you and Ryan are welcome to stay here.” Pam surprised her daughter
and
herself. She was firm yet kind. She’d just told Lisa in so many words that she could take it or leave it. Lisa looked over at Ryan.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“It doesn’t make any difference to me,” he said. “I don’t know anyone anyway. The more the merrier!” He laughed and took Lisa’s hand to squeeze. “Mrs. Smith, if you would be more comfortable if I left, my family is right in New Jersey.”

Lisa shook her head. “Why would you leave? I thought the whole point of us leaving school was so we could spend time together.” She sounded frightened, and Pam didn’t know what to make of it. She excused herself and picked up the tray to take it back to the kitchen.

“Trust me, my mother has never been so, shall we say
frank
before. Last summer she’d have broken down crying, she’d be so happy to see me.” She smirked.
Yes, things have certainly changed
.

“I’m not so sure
I’m
that comfortable here,” he admitted.

“Jeez, it seems like everyone is watching out for themselves,” Lisa complained. “Where do you want to go, then? I’d have stayed in Hawaii if I thought I was going to be alone.”

“I’m thinking of heading east,” he said. “My parents won’t mind if I come home for a few days. It’ll give us some time to think about what our next move should be.” Anger growing, Lisa didn’t want Ryan to leave her, and she was pissed he didn’t suggest that she accompany him home.

“Let’s just stay here for the weekend, OK? You can have my brother’s room. Maybe I’ll suggest to my mother that her friend go up to the guest room. I don’t want to share a bathroom with him, anyway.” She looked out to sea. “Let’s go for a walk, OK? It’ll help us decide what we should do.” Pam was fiddling around in the kitchen, trying not to eavesdrop on her daughter. Sitting down at the counter, she looked out at the water. With Lisa and her friend there, the beach lost its allure. Dan would arrive any minute, expecting an extended beach day. She was still battling snobbery about Ryan’s appearance, trying to convince herself that if Lisa liked him, he must be a wonderful guy. Lisa wasn’t falling for Ryan’s sudden shyness, however.
He’s just being a jerk
.