Family Farm (16 page)

‘I had a great time tonight. We must do it again soon before I go. Thanks for the feed. It’s been ages since I’ve had a taste of yabbies,’ he said.

Izzy blushed slightly from yet another unexpected kiss. She was finding it hard not to think he had an agenda.

He must have read her thoughts. ‘I don’t mean anything by that, I promise. It’s just I really did have a good time.’

‘I did too,’ she replied. ‘You’re not a bad bloke, James, even without your hair.’ Izzy playfully punched him in the arm before he got into his ute.

With one last wave, he was on his way in the dark, crisp night. She stood there in the blackness watching his red tail-lights reach the end of their driveway before returning to Will.

He was leaning on his ute looking up at the stars when he heard her soft footsteps. He gazed out into the darkness. She appeared slowly, like a graceful ship in the fog, all long legs and beauty.

Copying him, she leant against the cold metal of his ute. It sent shivers over her skin, causing her to rub her arms. She turned towards Will, faint light from the verandah illuminating the outline of his lean face and chiselled features.

‘So, what’s up?’ she asked him, shivering again as she wondered what the hell he was doing here. Hopefully it wasn’t about last night. Her stomach churned with the thought.

‘Here, it’s a bit cold out,’ said Will, avoiding her question as he reached into his ute and pulled out a long-sleeved checked shirt for her.

‘Cheers.’ Izzy slipped on the thick cotton shirt, which was warm and smelled strongly of Will. ‘You still haven’t told me why you’re here.’

‘Just thought I’d drop by on my way home from the tennis club to see how you were getting on,’ Will said casually, with no hint of a hidden agenda. ‘Have you heard any more from Jean?’

‘No, nothing new.’

‘You and James’ve got a bit of a thing happening, hey?’ Will threw the question into the night air, right out of left field.

‘Maybe,’ she replied, leaving him guessing. It was none of his business anyway. ‘How about you? I’m surprised Angela isn’t here with you.’

‘Nope, she’s heading home today apparently.’ Will showed no signs of embarrassment about last night’s shenanigans.

‘Ah, just a one-nighter then,’ said Izzy, trying not to come across too prudish.

Will shook his head when he realised what Izzy had said. ‘What? Hey, I never slept with her. God, whatever gave you that idea?’ he spluttered out.

Izzy just raised her eyebrows and shrugged. Surely he didn’t want her to spell it out. Will continued, trying to explain. ‘I’ll admit she did try to maul me last night, but I set her straight. I wasn’t interested. I’m not like that.’

Izzy just about choked. ‘What? Since when? Surely not since Claire.’ She turned to face him, waiting for his reply.

Will sighed. ‘I know there was a time when I was a bit reckless and careless, but I’ve changed.’ He paused before going on. ‘And what happened between Claire and me was different.’

Izzy tried to study him, to gauge whether he was being sincere, but he was just a murky shape in the dark. ‘How? You still slept with her and then left her, just like the others. I saw how upset she was. She was just a good time until the next one came along, right?’

He turned to Izzy, touching her arm ever so slightly. ‘It wasn’t like that, Izzy,’ he said quietly. Will sighed heavily as his fingers ran through his hair. It was almost like a nervous reaction as his mind clouded over with memories. Long ago he had been hurt. It wasn’t visible, but he still carried the scars on the inside and he knew it. Taking a deep breath, he tried to explain. He owed Izzy that much.

‘It was never like that with Claire. We were great mates. Had been for years. We grew up together, Izzy, you know that.’ He paused. The next bit was going to be hard to say. ‘We ended up totally smashed one night. Everyone else had paired up and left us alone. Next thing we knew, we were waking up in the same swag with blinding headaches. Neither of us could remember much of it and we laughed it off. To tell you the truth, the bits we could remember weren’t that flash and there was no way it would ever happen again. We had never felt that way about each other. We were best mates, and anything else would have been too weird.’

Will didn’t feel he could adequately explain it – that it really had always been platonic between them. They were like brother and sister. Never once had either of them thought differently. Claire had understood him so well. In a way, they were the same – two rebels out to enjoy what the world had to offer – so losing her was like losing a part of himself.

‘That can’t be all that happened,’ Izzy said angrily, traces of confusion slipping into her voice. ‘I saw Claire when I came home from school and she was completely stuffed up. I figured she was desperately in love with you. You two were
always
together. I mean, everyone thought …’ she trailed off. It didn’t make sense. If they weren’t a couple, then what had caused Claire so much grief? Izzy couldn’t help feeling that there was more Will wanted to tell her. He kept opening his mouth, like a fish starved of oxygen, and he was cracking his knuckles anxiously. She watched him silently, waiting for him to spit it out.

‘We did care for each other, but only as best mates. I would have given my right arm for her,’ Will explained.

‘So if it wasn’t that… what then? Claire would never tell me much, but I knew whatever it was that was upsetting her was something to do with you.’ Izzy pushed a little more.

Quietly, Will stood deep in thought, debating whether to tell her or not. But hearing the hurt and confusion in Izzy’s voice caused him to finally blurt it out.

‘Claire ended up pregnant. She was going to have our baby.’ There – it was out. It was the first time in ages that he’d discussed it. In a way he had always felt that Izzy had a right to know, but her parents had thought otherwise. Bill had made Will promise to keep it quiet, even if Izzy hated him for it. He hoped Bill would understand that it was time the air was cleared.

Reeling, Izzy felt her jaw drop. This wasn’t what she had expected. Surely he was joking. She waited for the laugh to follow, for the mischievous glimmer to appear in Will’s eyes, but a quick glance at his face told her it was the truth. Izzy could see real pain sweep across his face. His jaw had tensed as if he was grinding his teeth to powder and his body was rigid.

For once, Izzy was utterly speechless. Not sure how to react at first, she felt herself kind of gawk at Will and then a funny half laugh burst out. But as the shock faded, it didn’t take long for the anger to build up. The realisation that she hadn’t known about the baby tormented her. Questions bombarded her mind. She felt tears begin to well in her eyes, catching on her lower lashes before tickling her cheek as they fell. Without knowing Will had even moved, she felt his cool, gentle hand on her arm, which caused her to flinch slightly.

‘Izzy, say something … You’re freaking me out.’ His voice was soft but broken, almost panicky. ‘I just thought you needed to know the truth.’

Jerking her arm away from his touch, she spun around on her heels and briskly walked away. She heard Will start to follow her.

‘Izzy, wait. Let’s talk about it.’ He stopped. ‘Izzy!’ But she’d broken into a run. With her legs pumping as hard as they could, she ran all the way back to the house and into her bedroom. Sitting on her bed, she grasped at the covers, screwing them up tightly in her hands as silent tears continued to fall. Looking up at the framed picture of her and Claire on the motorbike brought her undone. She flung herself down onto her bed and smothered her face in the pillow as her sobs intensified. Her heart burst with pain. She wasn’t sure what hurt more: the fact that her sister hadn’t come to her with this secret – she’d thought they shared everything – or that she couldn’t talk to her about it. Claire would never get to be a mum or see her child, and Izzy would never meet her little niece or nephew. How different her life would be now if Claire was still alive. It was just so unfair. Life could be so cruel.

Preoccupied, she never heard Will’s ute start up a few minutes later as he headed back to his house.

IZZY had cried all night. By late morning she’d climbed out of bed and cleared away the mess from the night before. Her puffy red eyes were the only outward sign that something was wrong. But inside, she was churning. Determinedly she headed out to the shed to busy herself with some mechanical work. The less time she had to think, the better.

After the last remaining air escaped the tyre she was trying to fix, she placed the tiny valve in a spot where she wouldn’t lose it, grabbed the heavy slide hammer and carried it over to the large-rimmed tyre. Placing the point of the slide hammer under the rim, she lifted the handles up on either side, and crashed it down as hard as she could. The clang echoed throughout the shed and bounced off the walls, making just enough racket to clear her head. Again, she brought it down hard:
clang … clang
. Somehow the loud noise was almost peaceful.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a reflective flash of Will appearing on his motorbike. Not again! She didn’t bother to look up. He switched off his bike a couple of metres from her as she rammed down the rod again, moved it a bit to the left, shifted her feet and then hammered it down again.

She could feel his eyes on her for a few moments before he spoke. ‘Izzy, we’ve gotta talk.’

Izzy glanced his way. Black rings circled his tired eyes and his messy hair showed the signs of a sleepless night, as did the stubble that shadowed across his face. At least she wasn’t the only one not sleeping.

‘Come on, Izzy. You can’t avoid me forever.’

Another deafening clang was her only response and the only one he was likely to get. With a muttered, ‘Fine,’ he cranked up his bike, pushed it backwards out of the shed and opened the throttle, doing a wheelie as he sped off.

Izzy just kept banging away as if nothing had happened. Eventually, the rubber fell away from the rim. Using the back of her sleeve, she wiped the beads of sweat from her brow.

As she fixed the small hole in the tube, she realised she needed some answers or else she would go stark raving mad. Since she was determined not to talk to Will – perhaps ever again – there was only one other solution. She decided to leave for Perth in the morning to visit her dad. The rest of the farm work was minor and could wait until her return.

‘You’ll have to stay home this time, mate,’ she said to Tom, who was lying on the concrete floor. ‘I don’t think you’d have any fun in the city. But don’t worry, old boy. I’ll make sure you have a big bowl of kibbles to eat.’

The next morning Izzy threw her bag into the ute, climbed into the driver’s seat and called out a farewell to Tom, who was locked up in the dog yard by the shed. He was giving her the sad puppy-dog look – one that had worked well when he was a pup which he had since continued to use when he wasn’t getting his way. But he was safer at home; she wasn’t changing her mind, no matter how cute he looked. ‘You be a good dog and take care of the place, okay?’ It was a long drive to Perth. She plugged in her MP3 player, found the right frequency and cranked up the volume. She’d loaded a few new songs onto it last night so she didn’t get too sick of the same ones – a few tracks off Shannon Noll’s new album, plus some Coldplay and Rihanna. She was only allowed to play Rihanna when Tom wasn’t in the ute. He didn’t like modern pop music at all. Lee Kernaghan was his favourite, along with any old Aussie rock songs. Tom was a country dog through and through.

Heading to the big smoke was a good way to avoid Will. Izzy wasn’t sure why she was so angry with him – maybe for keeping the truth from her. And she was still a bit confused about her feelings for Will after the bin party. He’d explained that Angela had come on to him and that he hadn’t reciprocated, but what worried her was the fact that seeing it had irked her so much. They were weird feelings she didn’t have time to think about – and didn’t want to think about. Instead she thought about Claire, her baby and Will. Why had no one told her about the baby? Didn’t they think she’d cope with it?

She arrived in Corrigin sooner than expected, her mind running away with her thoughts. She had a quick toilet stop and got back on the road towards Brookton.

Two and a half hours later she was on the outskirts of Perth. She stopped and stretched to wake herself up before hitting the Albany Highway again. She needed to be more attentive in the frantic city traffic, not like out in the bush where the road stretched before you with nothing but your car and maybe the odd rabbit or kangaroo. But she’d been to Perth enough times to know her way around and the busy roads didn’t bother her. Soon she was pulling into the car park near the hospital. It was the first time she had been to a hospital in the city, let alone the Royal Perth. Apparently, it had a great burns unit. Her dad was in the best of care, so everyone kept telling her.

She locked up the car, ran her hands over her hair and brushed the creases out of her linen pants and light blue cotton top before picking up the bag of papers and magazines she’d brought from home. Feeling nervous, she walked towards the large entry doors of the hospital. She had to admit she was worried about seeing her old man and how he would look. The memory of his burnt legs and the abnormal colour of his charred skin mixed with the horrid smell of singed flesh made her shudder. She was sure it would stay with her for life. It made her wonder how her dad coped with the image of Claire lying on the concrete next to the silos. Had her eyes been open and lifeless when he found her? Were her limbs broken and twisted? She’d never asked, and her dad would probably never tell her anyway. It wasn’t something you talked about, but after Claire’s funeral Izzy often had nightmares of Claire lying with pools of blood beneath her. They were horrible dreams and hard enough to bear, so she couldn’t imagine how her father lived with the real thing. He would have that forever.

After checking where to find Bill, Izzy took the elevator up a few floors and headed left down a long corridor that smelled of disinfectant. From the moment she stepped out of the lift that unmistakeable hospital smell had overwhelmed her. Approaching his room, she peered through the window. There he was, lying in bed with his legs and hands bandaged.