Family Inheritance (27 page)

The women were laughing so hard that they needed a moment to control themselves.

“Then I decided to unwrap myself and begin again, but the darn stuff was so sticky,
it kept clinging, and when I did get it pulled off, I couldn't get it back onto the
roll without sticking to itself. I was so frustrated that I hopped over to the dresser,
got a pair of scissors, and started cutting the stuff off. Then the worst part happened.”

“What? Did you cut yourself?”

“No. James surprised me and came home early.” Laura giggled.

“Oh no.” Helene held her stomach to try to control the laughter as she envisioned
her friend wrapped in sticky, clear plastic, crying and trying to cut the blasted
stuff off.

“At first, he was scared to death. He had no idea what was going on. I was crying
uncontrollably, cutting the plastic wrap, and angrily pulling it off my body.” Laura's
laughter had settled into soft memories.

“Finally, James calmed me down and gently removed the plastic as I cried and told
him what I was trying to do. He wiped the tears from my eyes. Then, as I sat naked
on the edge of the bed, he gathered all the plastic wrap into one huge ball and put
it on the chair by the window. He told me it was to remind him how much his wife
loved him. He said he didn't know that.”

Laura's voice became very soft. “He was very angry at himself for all the hurt he
had caused me and was sure he had lost me. He was so touched at my plastic wrap efforts
and his gentleness touched me. It was a beginning for us.”
Her voice perked up. “Now
all we have to do is see a box of plastic wrap, and we just start laughing.”

Helene had remained quiet.

“Helene? You're quiet all of a sudden.” Laura said.

“Do you think I could put romance and love back into my marriage?” Helene asked very
softly.

“Not by yourself—it will take both of you,” Laura answered. “But somebody's got to
take the first step. But I don't recommend plastic wrap.” They fell into another
fit of giggles.

“Thanks,” Helene said. “I think I'll try something easier.

And now, Helene was standing by the door when Bill came in. She was dressed in a
simple black dress with a low-scoop neck. Diamond earrings, Bill's Christmas gift
to her many years ago, glittered in her ears. Her hands nervously fidgeted as she
smiled at her husband.

“Hi.” He glanced toward the dining room and the flickering candlelight. “Did I forget
something? Are we having guests tonight?”

“No, just us.”

“Oh my God—did I forget our anniversary or a birthday or something?”

“No, nothing special.” Gentle laughter surfaced in Helene as she watched her husband's
discomfort. Placing her hand on his arm, she led him toward the living room. “Come
in and relax a few minutes. I made some hors d'oeuvres and poured us each a glass
of wine.”

Confusion was apparent on his face. “Helene, are you okay? Do you have bad news and
you're trying to soften the blow?”

Helene became serious. “Isn't it sad, sweetheart, that our life is so void of romance
that we become uneasy or suspicious when it occurs?”

Bill's face softened. “All of this is just for us?” His eyes moved around the room,
taking in the china, crystal, and candlelight.

“It is,” she whispered as she watched the confusion in his eyes turn to joy.

He took her hand. “It's nice. Thank you.” Then he glanced about. “Where's Thomas?”

“Staying the night at a friend's.”

“Lily?” he asked as his fingers lightly traced the palm of her hand.

“I gave her the night off.”

“You planned all of this just to be alone with me?”

“Yes, honey.”

“You still love me, Helene?”

“I do.”

“How can you after all I've done?” Bill said shakily.

“I just do, Bill.” She softly stroked his face. “I can't explain it. Besides, I haven't
been perfect either.”

As panic rose in Bill's face, sadness gripped at Helene's heart, but she refused
to give way to it. Laura had told her how hard it had been for her parents to get
beyond the pain of infidelity—to get past the betrayal. “I didn't have affairs, Bill.
I just haven't made you a very big priority. I think I took you for granted.”

They stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as soft music played in the background.
Helene knew they were standing on the edge of a chasm. The pain from their past could
pull them into the darkness, or they could turn and walk toward the sun—the choice
was theirs. As Bill slipped his arm around her waist, the stereo sent out the sounds
of Elvis singing “Love Me Tender.”

“May I have this dance?” His voice was soft, romantic.

“Here? Now?” Helene's heart bubbled with giddiness. When they were dating, Bill would
often take her dancing, and she had loved the closeness of their bodies moving together
and the smell of his aftershave tickling her nose.

“Sure.” Pulling her close, Bill gently guided Helene around the room.

After all these years, she was still pulled in by his scent and his strong arms.
Helene snuggled closer. Her head rested gently against him, and his lips softly touched
the bare skin on her shoulders. Shivers ran through Helene.

“Are you cold, darling?” Bill asked as he gathered her closer.

Helene's arms slipped up and around Bill's neck as she pressed herself closer to
him. She could feel his desire, and her heart melted. Years seemed to disappear as
they danced together. She was once more a young woman very much in love with a man
who made her heart jump and her dreams leap into possibility.

“I love you so much,” he whispered in her ear. “Can you forgive me, sweetheart? I
know I don't deserve it, but can you forgive me?”

“Shh . . .” She gently placed her finger on his lips. “Let's get lost in what is
and forget about what was.” Tonight she wanted to explore what was possible for the
two of them and forget everything else. If they could find romance and intimacy the
way Laura and James had, then everything else would be much easier.

“I can do that.” Bill kissed Helene's earlobe, and his tongue softly traced the inner
circle. Helene turned toward him and her lips sought his. Gently, tentatively, their
lips touched.

Their eyes met as he kissed her mouth, her nose, her eyes.

Softness enveloped her as she enjoyed his lips against her skin. He found a favorite
spot on her neck and his tongue followed a path down her chest and to the crevice
between her breasts. Helene's knees grew weak.

His hands explored her body, playfully squeezing her waist, then softly floating
over her breasts. In response, her nipples strained against the cloth of her dress.
Bill pulled Helene into his arms and smoothly waltzed her around the room. She pushed
into him as her arms wrapped around his neck. Minutes passed as they danced a courtship
ritual.

His hands circled around her and Helene felt him tug at the zipper of her dress,
then slowly pushed the dress down to her waist. She was only wearing a black garter
and black hose. She watched his eyes open in surprise and his body respond in delight.

It had been a long time since he had made love to her like this. Over the last ten
years, when they did have sex it was typically hurried as though he had other things
on his mind. Tonight she could feel that she was all that mattered. His hands caressed
her as she imagined a diamond cutter caressed a priceless gem, softly and carefully
working his way over each curve, each line, each facet of the stone.

Helene responded as Bill slipped one arm around her back and the other under her
legs and lifted her up against him. Their lips danced with each other as he carried
her upstairs. Helene unbuttoned his shirt and played with the hair on his chest.
Bill sat her on the edge of the bed as Helene traced the hairline that disappeared
behind his waistband. Slowly unbuttoning his slacks, her fingers traced the bulging
cloth.

“My God, Helene,” Bill gasped. “You're driving me crazy.”

She slid back on the bed and reached out to him. Bill crawled onto
the bed and paused
over her. His fingers explored her, searching for the moistness and swelling that
would tell him she was ready. Their eyes locked as their bodies joined, and Helene
gave into the wonder of their love.

A few hours later, the burned-out candles had been replaced with new ones. Helene
and Bill were in their robes, quietly eating dinner. A soft aura floated around them.

“Bill?”

“Yes, honey?” His eyes locked on hers.

“I love you.” She did love him. Tonight reminded her how he could make her knees
go weak, her heart melt, and her entire body surrender. Those were the feelings and
experiences she intended to focus on.

Bill laid his fork down and reached out and touched her face. “Forgive me. Please
forgive me.”

“I have. With Raymond's guidance and God's help, I have. Now I want to forget, but
maybe I have to understand before I can.”

“Understand what?”

“Why you did it. What I did wrong.” There had to be something that she had done in
their earlier years that had caused him to turn to other women. Her stomach was turning
in knots, fearful that she would do it again and once more push him away.

“Wrong? You did wrong?” Bill wiped away a tear that slid down her cheek. “It wasn't
you, Helene. It was me.”

“Why?” Her lips quivered.

Bill pushed back his plate and stood. “Maybe it's time we really talked.” He reached
for her and led her toward the den.

Helene softly protested, “Our dinner will get cold.”

“I like leftovers,” he stated as he continued to walk toward the den.

“No, you don't,” she protested. Internally she was struggling—part of her wanted
to hear what he had to say, but part of her was terrified of it.

“I do now.” Bill settled in his huge armchair and pulled Helene down on his lap.
“Did you know that my dad had a lot of affairs?”

“No. Your parents seem to get along so well. I wouldn't have guessed.”
What does
that have to do with us? Think about it, Helene. Your parents' actions impacted you.
Why would Bill be any different?

“They do get along well, if that makes any sense. They're very compatible, very career-minded
people with brilliant minds.” He paused. “When I was in my early teens, I began to
notice that my dad was gone a lot at night and my parents didn't hold hands, hug,
or kiss the way my friends' parents did. One day I asked him about it.” Bill touched
her chin. “I remember how uncomfortable he seemed, but he said he wasn't going to
lie to me.”

Sadness covered Bill's face. “He said that shortly after they were married, my mother
had told him that wives just have sex to have babies. Once I was born, as far as
she was concerned, that obligation was fulfilled. She told him that if he wanted
to go elsewhere and take care of his male needs, that was fine with her. So he did.
And that worked out fine for them, and they got along great.”

His eyes searched Helene's. “I was young. I thought all wives felt that way. As I
grew older and listened to guy banter, it sounded as though most men had affairs,
even though now I know that's untrue. But at the time, it's what I believed, so that's
what I did. But our marriage didn't work like my parents' marriage, and you pulled
away from me. So I figured you didn't love me.”

Bill pulled her closer. “Then I had to prove to myself I was loveable, and it just
got crazy. As the years went on, I felt caught in this trap. I didn't know what put
me there in the first place or how to get out of it. Then I couldn't do anything
right as a husband, so I tried to be a father—the way my father was—and that didn't
work because you aren't like my mother. It got out of control and I didn't know how
to stop the cycle.”

Helene kissed his forehead.

“Raymond told me to talk to you. But how could I? I wasn't going to risk losing you.
And we've been so busy in counseling for ourselves and for Thomas that it didn't
seem to be the right time to deal with us.”

His words were circling in Helene's head as she tried to make sense of what he was
saying.
What a terrible experience for him. A teenage boy has no idea how to handle
information like that. What in the world was his father thinking? And why didn't
he tell me? Why didn't I ask questions?

Bill's eyes were wide as he waited for her response, and as she returned
his gaze,
tenderness flooded Helene's chest.
I'm not the only one who let a bad moment or experience
in my childhood negatively impact my life.
As she sat in her husband's lap, Helene
once again knew that she loved all the goodness that was a part of him. She knew
they would not recover from past mistakes in just one night, but they were definitely
on the right path, and if they both put time and attention into the relationship,
they could create the type of marriage they both seemed to want.

Helene placed her cheek against his. “Maybe now's the right time.”

“Maybe it is.” Bill kissed her cheek, gathered her in his arms, and pulled her snugly
to him.

Chapter 33

Anoka, Minnesota

The auditorium was packed again. Suzanne felt sad. Some of the people she had gotten
close to were leaving the program to go to halfway houses or continued hospitalization.

“Hi, I'm Annette, and I'm an alcoholic.” Suzanne's roommate smiled down at the audience.
“I look like everybody's grandmother, don't I?” She grinned. “Well, I hope you don't
have a grandmother like me.” The audience responded with laughter.