Family Secrets (11 page)

When they were all through the turnstile she counted heads again. Good, all there. “We are going to take the train marked Atlantic Avenue,” she said to them. “When the train stops and the doors open you must go inside
fast
, because it doesn’t stay a long time in the station. When you are inside we will count four stops, and then we will all get out. After that I will show you how to change trains to come back.”

“I want to go to Delancey Street,” one of the women said. “My daughter said there’s a bargain there on an iron.”

“No shopping today,” Lavinia said sternly. “Today we master the subway. When you learn how to travel you can go shopping all by yourself.”

“Ooh.” The women looked pleased. Already they were dreaming up places they could go when they learned how to travel alone.

The train marked Atlantic Avenue roared into the station. The doors opened, the women rushed on, Lavinia followed them, the doors shut, the train lurched off, and she counted heads.

One of the women was missing.

“Who’s not here?” That was a dumb question! If she wasn’t there, how could she say she wasn’t there? But someone knew.

“It’s Hannah Shindel,” said Mrs. Levey, a bright, birdlike little woman who knew not only everybody’s name but the names of their children and grandchildren as well.

“We have to get off at the next stop and go back,” Lavinia said. She tried to sound calm, but inside she was frantic. Who knew what Mrs. Shindel would do? She could get on the next train and ride on forever into oblivion, she could wander around the station, she could get hysterical, she could end up at the police station and that would be the end of Lavinia’s altruistic unpaid job. If there was anything worse, more disgraceful and unbearable than failing, it was failing at something you didn’t even care for in the first place.

The ride to the first stop seemed endless. As soon as the train stopped Lavinia herded her charges off, then led them to the track where the return train would come, barking at them like the meanest teacher she’d ever had in grade school. She was so nervous she was developing a headache. All the time they were waiting for the train she was praying Mrs. Shindel was not sitting stupidly on the train that was passing them on the opposite track. Their train screeched to a stop, she herded the women on, and they went back to the place they had started from. She couldn’t even remember what Mrs. Shindel looked like. It wasn’t fair; they should have more help. How could one young woman take care of fifty others, each of whom had a keeper of her own at home?

“So we’re back?” said Mrs. Tannenbaum. “That wasn’t much of a ride for the money.”

“We’ll all go look for Hannah Shindel,” Mrs. Levey said brightly.

“No, we won’t,” Lavinia said. “You ladies will all stay right here. Do not move. I will look for Mrs. Shindel. I don’t want to lose any more of you.”

She had them all lined up obediently against the wall, away from the tracks so they wouldn’t fall on them and be killed by the next train or trampled by passengers getting off and on. Luckily it was afternoon and the station was not crowded. Lavinia started to walk toward the most populous place, the concessions that sold food and drink and magazines, when a bulky woman dressed in black, who could only be Hannah Shindel, came rushing toward her, parcels and handbag in one hand, a bottle in the other. She was fat and panting.

“Oy, I was so thirsty! I had to get a seltzer.” Hannah Shindel took a big gulp of her soda to prove her point, then smiled happily. “I knew you wouldn’t go without me, Miss Saffron. You’re a good girl.”

After dinner Lavinia approached Papa in his study. “May I come in?”

“Of course.”

“Papa, I want to talk to you about my job.”

“You don’t like your job?”

“It’s too hard for me. Physically. It’s too tiring. Today I lost one of the ladies on the subway and I nearly lost my mind. I just can’t drag them around like that, and there isn’t enough help at the center so I have to take on too much myself. I’d like to do it, I care about them, but I’m not up to it. I haven’t the strength.”

She knew he would understand that. Your health was the most important thing in life.

He shook his head sympathetically. “It’s horse’s work.”

“Exactly.”

“We were never peasants, any of us. We never did hard physical work. Your ancestors were all scholars, intellectuals, some tradespeople, but all artistic. We weren’t ever horses. You have to be born a horse to work like a horse.”

“Exactly.”

“So tell them you want to go back to working in the school room.”

“Papa, now they have me doing this they won’t let me do anything else. They think this is such a good idea that I’m sorry I thought of it. Next week I have to take them to the Statue of Liberty and that will be even worse.”

“So then why don’t you quit?”

“That’s a good idea,” Lavinia said. “I knew you would come up with the right idea. I think I
will
quit.”

He laughed. “Nu, you, you think you fooled me. I know you. Why shouldn’t I know you? You’re just like me. Make the other person tell you to do what you were planning to do all along. You’re my smart one, Leah Vania, you’re as smart as a man.”

Joy flooded her until she thought she would burst into tears from it. Papa hadn’t called her by her baby name for years, and he had said she was just like him! That was the greatest compliment she could think of: to be like him. He was a genius. He had said she was as smart as a man. Did that mean she was the smartest one in the family? He wouldn’t have said she was like him if she weren’t his favorite. Oh, how much she wanted to be his favorite, the one he loved the most, the one he was proudest of!

“But now I’ll tell you something,” Papa said happily. “It’s me that wanted you to quit that job. So you think you got what you want, but really I got what I want and you think you fooled me into letting you get your way.”

“Oh, Papa!” But she wasn’t angry, she was delighted that he was playing this game with her, as if they were equals vying for position. “So now I’ll put my cards on the table,” Lavinia said.

“So put. I’m ready.”

“I would like to work in your office.”

“Yes?”

“I would like to work for you, to help you.”

“I have a secretary already.”

“Then something else. When the boys finish school and college they’ll work for you and you’ll have plenty for them to do. You must have a little something for me to do now.”

He was quiet, thinking.

“You are interested in business?” he said finally. His tone was neutral, noncommittal.

“I don’t know. I know I would like to learn, and then I’ll see.”

“I don’t pay people to learn,” he said.

“Then I’ll work for nothing. Please, Papa. Give me something to do in the office.”

“Business …” he said thoughtfully. “Don’t you want to get married like other girls, have a companion for your life, give me grandchildren? You’re a pretty girl, Lavinia, and smart. Pick a nice boy before they’re all gone.”

“I’ll get married when I meet the right man.”

“Nu? So who said you should marry the wrong man?”

“You know what I mean. I’m looking, but I’m not searching.”

“As long as you’re not just sitting.”

“I’ll meet more men in the business world than I will taking old ladies on the subway.”

“I could have introduced you to some nice fellows,” he said. “I could have, but I never did, because I know you. Nobody forces a husband down your throat. When the time comes, you’ll pick your own husband. I trust you. I have faith in you. I know you’ll pick a fellow with a good character.”

“That’s the first thing I’ll look for,” Lavinia said solemnly.

“Na, I know you, the first thing you’ll look for is looks. But you won’t be fooled. Looks
and
character. I wouldn’t expect less.”

“You won’t get less, Papa. I promise.”

“And if he’s not such a millionaire, I wouldn’t stick my nose up at him if I were you. Potential is what matters. Brains and potential for the future. I wouldn’t mind taking a smart young fellow into my business if he was your husband and had a good character and was willing to work hard and learn. Brains. I want brains.”

“So do I,” Lavinia said. “I wouldn’t accept less.”

“To tell you the truth,” Adam said, “I personally could never stand to have ugly people around me. I only hire good-looking men in my office. So don’t be ashamed to stick your nose up at a funny-looking fellow, he asks you out. It’s no shame to like beauty.”

“I’ve always known that, Papa.”

“Good. So when do you want to start working for me?”

“I’ll give them two weeks’ notice,” Lavinia said. “No, the heck with it! I’ll start with you on Monday.”

“
For
me,” Adam said. “Not
with
me,
for
me. You’re not the big boss yet.”

“Yes, Papa.”

“You’ll ride to work with me in the car. Go, shut the door behind you.” He turned away to his paper work. When a conversation was over he never even bothered to say goodbye, he just ended it. You knew, and he knew, so why waste time?

Lavinia shut the study door efficiently behind her and went upstairs. Free! Free! She was free, and she would work in the office with Papa! Now she had only one other piece of unfinished business and then she would consider things well settled for the time being. The unfinished business was Melissa’s sneaking around with what was obviously some boy she was ashamed to bring to the house, and Lavinia intended to get to the bottom of it and fast.

She had called Hunter and asked them if their six o’clock advanced music theory class was filled, and they had said she must be thinking of the beginners’ class because the advanced class was at three in the afternoon. Maybe … maybe Melissa was still taking the beginners’ class and was ashamed to tell them so, but Lavinia doubted it. Melissa wasn’t the kind of person to pretend to be smarter than she really was. It didn’t matter to her. No, it must be some boy. She advanced to Melissa’s room with a firm step and rapped on the closed door.

“Entrez!” Melissa sang out.

Lavinia entered. The room was a mess. Melissa had been trying on her entire wardrobe, tossing every dress on the bed or the floor when she was through. She must be in love.

“I haven’t seen you for a while,” Lavinia said. “With my job and your classes. How is your music class?”

“Oh, fine.”

“It must be very hard for you.”

“Why?”

“Well, advanced theory. A friend of mine, Esther Meyers, takes advanced music theory at Hunter—maybe you know her? Big eyes and black hair?”

“No …”

“She says it’s very hard,” Lavinia said. “I’m surprised you haven’t met her. You would like each other.”

“I never heard you mention any Esther Meyers,” Melissa said. “How come you never invite her to the house?”

“I knew her at college. I just found out she was here. But maybe she isn’t in your class after all. She says her class is at three in the afternoon, and yours is at six in the evening, isn’t it?”

“That’s right.”

“Maybe you didn’t say you took advanced after all. Maybe it was intermediate or beginners and I heard wrong. Was it?”

“I said advanced,” Melissa said calmly. Not even a flicker in the steady green eyes. Not for nothing did the girl want to be an actress.

“Well, maybe she doesn’t go to Hunter,” Lavinia said. “Maybe it was NYU.”

Melissa shrugged and held up another dress, deciding if she should try it on.

“You remember when Aunt Becky’s kids had to stay here that time?” Lavinia said.

“Which time?”

“The last time. When she was sick.”

“Mmm …” Not interested.

“Well,” Lavinia said, “I didn’t want to tell you because I thought it might upset you, but after all, you’re old enough now to know about these things. Aunt Becky was up in the Bronx having an abortion.”

“What’s that?”

“That’s when they take the baby before it’s born so it won’t live. When the mother is just a month or two pregnant.”

“Ugh,” Melissa said.

“It was very sad. But Aunt Becky just can’t afford to have another child because Isman is out of work again.”

“What’s the matter with that man?” Melissa said.

“Some men just can’t make a go of it,” Lavinia said solemnly. “Some can and some can’t. When you’re in love it’s hard to tell which man is going to make a good provider and which one isn’t. It’s easy even to fall in love with a no-good bum who would get a girl in trouble and run away. When you’re in love, and you’re young, you can’t see these things so clearly. It’s better to have someone to give you another opinion, like a sister.”

“Well, Papa fixed up the whole thing with Aunt Becky and Isman,” Melissa said, “so let her blame him.”

“Let’s not talk about Papa!” Lavinia said sharply. Melissa was slipping out of her hands like a fish, and on top of that she was being disrespectful about Papa. It was obvious she had come under the spell of someone very no-good.

“Do you think I should give this dress away?” Melissa asked. “It always made my skin look green.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with it.”

“I’ll give it to Rosemary.” She tossed it on the bed. “Well, it was nice to have a talk with you, Lavinia, but I have to take a bath now.”

“Oh? You’re going out?”

“Goodness,” Melissa said, “You’d think I never took a bath in my life. It isn’t exactly an event around here.”

“You’re not going out?”

“Of course I’m going out,” Melissa said. “You know I sing with my choral group on Thursday nights.”

“Oh? Where is this choral group?”

“At Gertrude Solomon’s house.”

“Gertrude Solomon?” Lavinia said. “I never heard you mention any Gertrude Solomon.”

“Well, I never heard you mention any Esther Meyers,” Melissa said cheerfully.

Darn her! “I wish we could be better friends,” Lavinia said.

“You’re practically my best friend,” Melissa said. “But you know, being someone’s friend also means trusting them.”

“I trust you!” Lavinia snapped. “Who said I didn’t trust you?”

“I know you trust me,” Melissa said, her eyes wide and pure.

“I hope you also trust me,” Lavinia said.