Fantasyland 02 The Golden Dynasty (46 page)

The morning after the Daxshee rose, Lahn
told me he would be leaving the next day to lead a raid and he
wouldn’t return for five days.

And he wouldn’t be taking me.

I didn’t want him to go because I didn’t
want him to be away from me but there was more.

This alarmed me.

Diandra had told me that the warriors kept
their wives close while they were out plundering. And if Lahn was
out plundering, I needed to be close.

And when I told Lahn firmly I wanted to go
with him, we had our first knockdown drag out fight. He flatly
refused and I flatly refused to allow him to refuse. I shouted and
he thundered. This lasted a long time and got heated. He was angry,
actually furious, not only that I was questioning his decision as
Dax that I not go but that I wanted to go at all considering he
thought such a journey would be dangerous for me as we would be
entering a neighboring country. Even in his fury, though, not once
did he let it get out-of-control enough for him even to raise a
hand with the intent to strike me.

This was good.

What was bad was me finally sharing with him
what was on my mind.

“If you’re off marauding, then I can’t take
care of you before you do!” I snapped and he blinked in surprise at
my words which clearly bewildered him.

“What?” he clipped back.

I planted my hands on my hips and swept
his body with my eyes. “Don’t forget, honey,
that’s
mine,
all
mine. You said it yourself. And I’m not sharing it
with
anyone.
I know
how you get when you’re celebrating,
boy
do I know, and you sure as
hell
are not going to be off collecting booty and plundering
villages without
me
being the one
you celebrate with, before
and
after.”

I couldn’t believe I was saying this shit
but there it was, I was.

He stared at me and I didn’t know if he was
staring at me in shock, he didn’t know what to say or he was
controlling his anger so he didn’t say anything he would
regret.

Too far gone, I stupidly kept going. “In
other words, Lahn, I’m not a big fan of raiding and looting. I know
it’s your way, I don’t like it, but I won’t speak against it. But
you are
not
going to add
raping to your looting. No
fucking
way. You take no other woman but me.”

I knew light dawned when his face turned to
granite and he was silent again for several heartbeats before he
asked softly, “Am I standing in my cham with my wife telling me
what I can and cannot do?”

His tone was dangerous, as dangerous as the
stony look on his face and, lucky for me, I was smart enough to
read it so I let my silence be my answer.

Lahn went on. “A husband and wife, Circe,
they do not speak of this.” He paused then finished,
“
Ever.
”

“We are not just any husband and wife,” I
shot back.

“That is agreed, I give you your head in
many ways. I will not with this. This is not your concern and we
will never speak of it again, my queen. Not ever. Am I
understood?”

Oh no.
Hell
no.

My voice quieted too when I replied, “You
come back smelling of anything other than dirt, sweat and blood, I
get that first
fucking
clue
you’ve taken a woman who is not me, we’re done, Lahn, no joke. I
will leave you.” His eyes flashed and his body tensed but I didn’t
stop talking. “You find me and bring me back, I’ll leave you again.
I’ll keep going until I can stay gone. And in the meantime, you
will never,
ever,
get me
sweet again. I tell you in my world it’s important that a husband
remains faithful to his wife, you must understand that it is
important.
It is
crucial
I know that I can trust you don’t use your body
with anyone but me. When I say it’s mine, I mean that outside of
you sharing your spirit with me, it is the most precious gift
you’ve ever given to me. I treasure it. I
worship
it. And it will tear me apart inside to think
you’ve tarnished it by forcing it on another woman.”

I was breathing heavily when I was done
speaking and Lahn held my eyes but kept his silence as his body
continued to exude raw, pissed off, brutal energy.

Then it hit me that if he did go out raping
with his pillaging (which was bad enough), I was not lying. It
would kill what we had and I loved what we had. He didn’t know it
but I’d given up everything to keep what we had. And staring at my
husband just then, I knew he was not going to give in. This was who
he was and what he did and it would be the end of us.

And that was why tears filled my eyes and I
felt my lips quiver as those tears spilled down my cheeks but I
held his angry gaze until it melted with the wet.

Then I looked to the side and whispered,
“You will tear me apart. You do this; you do it
knowing
you will destroy me.” I pulled in a breath
and dashed the tears away with the back of my hand and, when my
vision cleared, I straightened by shoulders and looked back at him.
“But you are Dax and you are warrior, so obviously, you are free to
do as you will.”

That was when he growled, “You will not
leave me.”

I didn’t respond.

“
You will
never
leave me.”

I kept my silence, held his eyes and we went
into stare down.

He broke it by stating, “You will never
leave me, Circe, in any way you could leave me.”

I didn’t know what that meant exactly but I
didn’t ask nor did I get the chance because he kept talking.

“To make that so, I will not ever take
another woman but you.”

I sucked in a hopeful breath as I felt my
eyes grow round at his capitulation but he wasn’t done and when he
spoke his voice was way lower than normal and it rumbled through
the tent.

“
You have this one warning, I will not
repeat it and I will point out that I have not once asked you to
alter any of who you are.
Not once.
You are not of my people and you behave in ways that are
strange to
me,
yet you seem
not to understand that this is true. But never have I asked you to
change
who
you
are.”

I winced because this was true. He expected
me to accept his way of life but he never asked me to change who I
was.

He continued. “This is the last concession
I will make for you. I am who I am, I am Korwahk, I am warrior, I
am Dax and you must accept me as what I am. I may have forced my
body on yours but I did not force your love, you
gave
it to me knowing who I am. As
we live our lives, you cannot decide to disagree with parts of that
and then decide to take your love away, Circe. I’ll not live like
that. Therefore, you need to reflect on this, come to your peace
with it and never, my golden queen,
never
request another such concession from me.”

My lips parted to respond but he didn’t give
me the chance. He prowled to the cham flaps, slapped them back and
he was gone.

He didn’t return until very late but I was
awake when he did. I stayed still in our bed until he joined me in
it and I knew how angry he still was when he didn’t curl into me or
pull me to him but settled on his back not touching me.

So I whispered hesitantly into the cham,
“Thank you for…” I paused then, “It was important to me, thank
you.”

Lahn didn’t respond.

I forged ahead. “I will um… process things
and come to peace with my life with you and the Korwahk.”

Nothing from Lahn.

I kept going. “I’ll, uh… never ask for
another concession again, I promise.”

To that I got a growled, “Promise never to
leave me.”

I closed my eyes tight, rolled, scooted to
him and got up on an elbow but rested my other hand on his
chest.

When my eyes locked with his, I whispered,
“I promise never to leave you, baby.”

And I said it like I meant it because I did.
And in that moment, he didn’t know that I actually gave up a world
for him. But the weight of my words still communicated that.

He glared up at me, then his arms shot
around me, pulling me down, his lips captured mine and then he
rolled me to my back.

The next morning he left.

And tomorrow he would be home.

I know it sounded crazy, but I couldn’t
wait.

I missed my king.

* * * * *

“
Oh Circe!” Nahka called through the throng
surrounding the fabric stall, she was holding up a bolt of pure
gold silk that shimmered in the sun, “You must have this! It
was
made
for our
golden queen!”

She was beaming at me brighter than the gold
silk she held in her hand.

I smiled back at her and twisted my head to
Teetru who stood just slightly behind me. “Could you go buy some of
that for a sarong for me?” She nodded then I went on, “And, choose
something you like for you and pieces for Jacanda, Packa, Gaal and
Beetus. My girls need something pretty. For sarongs and tops
too.”

She blinked at me in shock and stayed
unmoving.

So I grinned at her, took her hand, gave it
a squeeze and urged with a jerk of my head toward the stall,
“Go.”

Her body jolted physically before she nodded
then hurried forward.

I felt a hand curl around my elbow and
looked to my other side. It was Sabine.

“Can I speak with you?” she asked in
Korwahk.

She’d taken to the language and was getting
pretty good at it. She wasn’t as good at it as me, of course. I
was, I was pleased to say, nearly fluent. But she hadn’t had as
much practice though she was better at it that Anastasie, who was
struggling. Claudine was still giving them daily lessons.

She had also not shared what was happening
with her and Zahnin and not one of my posse pried. That said, I was
in her cham twice when he came in. The first time was some weeks
ago and she’d instantly gone tense but not with fear, still simply
guarded. The second time was two days ago and she’d bitten her lip
before she’d offered him a tentative smile. Neither time did he
repeat soft words or a gentle touch like he had weeks ago but both
times his eyes went warm and his mouth went soft when he saw
her.

My hope was, he was breaking through.

At that moment, when she pulled us slightly
back and out of the crowd, Bain moving with us, I would find out he
definitely was.

She looked shyly at Bain and I knew she
didn’t want him to overhear.

I gave him a look and asked, “Can Sabine and
I have a moment of privacy?”

His eyes went from me to Sabine to me again.
Then his mouth twitched. Then he stepped out of hearing
distance.

Sabine didn’t delay. She launched right in.
“Can I be forthright?”

I nodded.

She studied me then said, “I mean,
really
forthright.”

I struggled against a giggle and nodded
again.

“I, er… need your advice,” she stated.

“About what, sweetheart?” I asked.

“About,” her eyes slid away, she bit her lip
and then they came back to me, “er… Zahnin, my, um… husband.”

I turned to face her, folding my hand on
hers still at my elbow and whispered, “I’ll do my best. Tell me
what you need.”

She was looking up at me again and I saw
pink tinge her cheeks.

Then she spoke quickly in somewhat broken
Korwahk, “He doesn’t er… he has been… for some time, he has
been…
changed.
At
first, he was, it was…
not good.
I was, you know, I’ve told you, I had no idea what was
happening. But, I got to the point where, I don’t know, I decided…
er, since it kept happening, I knew it wasn’t going to stop. So,
uh, anytime he touched me, I just,” her face flamed deeper pink and
she whispered, “got to my knees, pulled up my nightgown and put my
face in the bed, like he always took me so he would just…
get it over
with.
”

Oh God. How hideous.

I let her hand at my elbow go, grabbed her
other one, held it to my chest and whispered, “I’m so sorry, my
sweet girl.”

She nodded and bit her lip. “Thank you,” she
whispered back then she drew breath into her nose and kept
whispering, “He was my first.”

Oh
God.
She was a virgin.

I squeezed her hand. “Oh Sabine,
I’m
so
sorry.”

“I… didn’t like it,” she shared what I knew
was an extreme understatement.

“You wouldn’t,” I told her. “Of course not.
I understand that.”

She nodded again and then moved an inch
closer. “But, he has not done that to me. Not
for weeks.
”

It was my turn to nod but I kept quiet.

Sabine kept talking. “And he has been,
like I said, changed. Er…
greatly
changed. His tone has gentled and for some time, except to
stroke my face or shift my hair off my shoulder, he didn’t touch me
at all. Not even in bed.” I nodded again when she stopped talking
to urge her on so she took a deep breath and continued. “Then he,
er… started to chat with me. I didn’t know much of what he was
saying but he would come to our tent at night and talk to me…
quietly. Then, one night, when he left… um, he started always to
leave to give me time to prepare for bed,” she explained then went
on, “he, er… kissed my forehead before he left which felt,” she
squeezed her eyes shut then opened them and breathed,
“
nice.
”