Fantasyland 02 The Golden Dynasty (57 page)

That hurt so much, I couldn’t stop myself
from whispering, “Lahn, baby, please listen to me.”

He jerked his chin up. “You will be heard
but I will warn you, Circe, this will be your only opportunity to
be heard so you had better make whatever you say convincing.” I
stared at him when he finished by commanding, “And you will not
speak your soft names to me when you do it.”

I swallowed as I took that hit and my mind
reeled.

He was the king of a primitive, savage
horde and what I had to say to him would not go over well, I knew
this. I knew. Hell, if I told someone in
my
world what was going on they’d think I was crazy
and be justified in that belief.

But I had no choice. And I knew, looking at
him, I should have told him well before now, of my own accord, not
as his command. I didn’t know if that would have gone down better
but I should have tried.

“I am not of this world,” I whispered my
admission.

“I am aware of that, Circe,” he replied
swiftly then asked, “Do you take this shape from another?” When I
blinked at his question he clarified, “What is your true form?”

I shook my head and held out my hands. “I
don’t take this shape. This is me. This has always been me.”

His jaw went hard and his stare started
glittering.

He didn’t believe me.

I sallied forth. “I… I woke up in the pen
with the other women of the Hunt. I went to bed at home, in Seattle
–”

“Seattle is a nation that does not exist, my
queen,” Lahn bit off. “Do you not think when you told me this was
your homeland that I would not confer with those who had travelled
widely? None of them have heard of this Seattle.”

“It exists in my world,” I replied.

“
That,
” he spat, “I will believe.”

“Lahn –”

“Get on with it, Circe,” he demanded
impatiently.

“I… okay,” I shook my head. “My world is
different. Much different. It –”

“It has things called hormones,” he
interrupted to say, “and germs. And they do what you did to
Bohtan’s son to stop people choking. They do not allow their women
to drink wine when pregnant. They sew the flesh of wounds together,
before and after bathing it in spirit. They have a place called
‘Mexico’. They say ‘freaking out’ to explain just about any emotion
as long as it comes with shock or fear. They treat slaves like
family. Their queens walk freely amongst their people; they do not
hold themselves aloof as all queens should.”

Wow. He’d really paid attention.

Lahn kept speaking. “You have given me many
indications you are not of this world and I’ve been so drunk on
your xaxsah, so bewitched by the spirit shining in your eyes, I
ignored every one.”

“That isn’t how it was,” I said softly.

“No?” he asked on a brow raise.

“No,” I shook my head and lifted my hand.
“Lahn… I… this place is very strange to me too but I… well, I
endured, I got over it, I adapted and I…” I hesitated, swallowed
and whispered, “I fell in love with you.”

The energy in the room went brutal, so
brutal it pounded against my flesh.

“
Do not
ever
speak those words to me again unless you wish to feel the
back of my hand,” he growled.

I stared at the wrath burning in his
eyes.

He meant it.

Oh God.

Was this happening?

I kept staring into his furious, stony,
beautiful face.

It was happening.

It was
happening.

And with that thought it occurred to me
that I was, again, blameless. I was innocent. The only thing I did
was fall asleep. And I’d borne countless nightmares since that
time, bouncing back from each stronger and stronger. I had been a
good queen. I had been a good wife. I had been a good lover. I had
given him
everything
. My
body, my world, my love and I was carrying
our child
.

Fuck…
this!

I dropped my hand, squared my shoulders and
locked eyes with my husband as outside, just above our house,
without either of us seeing it, a bolt of lightning rent the
air.

“
I know it sounds unbelievable,” I stated,
“because it
is
unbelievable.
Fantastical. Extraordinary.
Bizarre.
But it… is…” I leaned forward, “
true!
”

He opened his mouth but before he could
speak I carried on.

“
Right here, right now, what you’re
feeling,
I
felt too and
it was probably a hundred times worse than what you’re feeling now,
Lahn, because in
my
world, they
do not hunt women and rape them. In
my
world, if you do that, you go to jail for a long, long
time. Everything,
everything,
” I
threw out my hands, “was different. Your clothes. Your language.
The landscape. Your homes, food, furniture, shopping. And I don’t
mean a little different, like here warriors wear hides and up
north, they wear armor, I mean
a lot
different. In my world, we don’t ride horses, we drive
cars. In my world, we don’t have chamber pots, we have toilets. We
don’t have slaves. That was outlawed
years
ago. Most countries don’t even have kings or queens!” I was
now shouting, lightning striking fast and hot outside our windows.
“And if they do, they hold no power but are only
figureheads.”

He glared at me, it was scary but I didn’t
care. I was too far gone. I just kept talking.

“
I was
terrified
when I got here. I don’t even know how I had it in
me to breathe much less move or speak. This doesn’t happen in my
world, this changing of beings, me taking her place, her taking
mine. But I suspect powerful sorceress Circe had had enough at
men’s hands, her king, those pirates, your scouts, and she knew
what was about to befall her during your fucking
Hunt
as she stood in that pen or she
found out and therefore she got the fuck out of Dodge! And when she
left her world, she changed places with
me.
I had no control and I’ll tell you, Lahn, so many
times in the past months, I wished, I fucking
prayed
to go back home because you and your
people and your practices scared me and they
sickened
me.”

“It is unfortunate for you, Circe, that just
from your words, I cannot know this is true,” he stated.

“
Yes,” I hissed, “it is. And guess what,
big guy, even
I
don’t know if
it’s true. The only thing I know is that I’m here and she’s not.
That’s all I know. I’m just guessing.”

“And I am guessing, because even as we stand
here, you command the heavens, that you wield extraordinary power.
You have not hid it, it is at your command and since it is, I can
only wonder what other power you have wielded for what other
results.”

“
It isn’t at my command, Lahn,” I flashed
and threw an arm toward the windows which now flared with lightning
and roared with thunder as the rain pounded down. “That’s happening
and
everything
that
has happened is because of what I was
feeling.
And you,” I jabbed a finger at him, “fucking know
it.”

“
I also know that you say you were sickened
by my people’s practices, but it didn’t take long for me to win
you, did it, wife? Three days you gave it before you were rubbing
against my hand and rearing into my cock,” he, unfortunately,
stated the God’s honest truth with that. “It has taken Zahnin’s
wife
months
to yield
to his endeavors to win her. But not you,” he threw an arm out
toward me before locking it back across his chest. “No, not my
golden bride, not only was she riding my cock, moaning while I
drove it in her, she was offering to take it in her mouth if I gave
up the Xacto, doing everything she could to keep me drunk on her
charms while she manipulated me into capitulating to her
whims.”

“
That’s
insane!
” I screamed on
an accompanying crash of thunder.

“
I did not take free woman nor slave while
I plundered, Circe, because
you
demanded it!” he shouted back.

“That’s because it was important to me!” I
returned, just as loud.

“Yes, keeping me bewitched is indeed, for
whatever reason, important to you. This, at least, I believe is
true.”

I shook my head and went silent.

I couldn’t believe this.

This was unbelievable.

It was also heartbreaking.

Nope, I was wrong about that.

It was soul destroying.

I breathed hard through my nose and looked
away, trying to calm myself as the thunder and lightning stopped
but the rain continued to drive down.

Then I sucked in a huge breath and looked at
my husband again.

And when I spoke, I did it softly. “I gave
up a world for you.”

He glared at me, not giving me anything.

I kept right on going. “I thought,
perhaps, when I learned I had powers, I might be able to use them
to go home,” his eyes flashed but that was all I got so I kept on
going, “but not for good. My father isn’t dead.” Another flash.
“He’s alive and at home and living maybe with a fake Circe. He’ll
know the difference, though, I
know
it. He’s out of his mind with worry, I know that too. He’s
wondering where I am and if I’m okay and how to get me back. I also
know that. I know that and I know that my life there was good. I
loved my life. I loved my home. I loved my job. I had a lot of
people who loved me that I loved back.” I sucked in breath and then
whispered, “But as much as your world scared me, as much as our
practices repulsed me, I still chose you.”

His torso jerked, it was almost
imperceptible, but I caught it.

I kept at him. “I gave up my world for
you, Lahn. I sat at your side through things people in my world
would find loathsome and I did it with my head held high. I even
felt
pride
that I
could endure, that I could be a good queen to you. I didn’t know
how to be a queen but every day I walked amongst your people giving
them my time and my ear and my attention, hoping that was what I
was supposed to do. Everything I did in this fucking place, even
before I fell in love with you, was for…
fucking…
you.
”

After that, I was breathing heavily and he
said not a word, just continued to stare at me, stony-faced with
fury.

I was not getting in. Not even a little
bit.

Not even a little bit.

The rain outside stopped driving down and
started to fall slower, softer, quieter as that knowledge settled
in my soul.

“I gave up my world for you,” I whispered,
“and if you don’t come to me right now, put your arms around me and
tell me you believe me, I will stop at nothing to find my way
back.”

His answer was immediate. “I will not come
to you, Circe. As of now, you are being sequestered, watched by
guards with our most powerful witches in attendance to see you get
up to no mischief. You will stay sequestered, alone, in this house,
without slaves, friends or your pet, until the pregnancy culminates
and we see what creature you bear me. I am informed by those of our
people who hold magic that you will not be able to hide it while
birthing and it will not have the power to shield its true form
while being born.”

Oh my God.

That was when he delivered the killing
blow.

“Only then will I come to you to deliver my
judgment or allow you back into my bed.”

That was it.

I was done.

Just as he had with the claiming chain
Dortak had hooked to me, with those words, Lahn severed our
connection just… like… that.

“I’ve left you,” I whispered and his head
jerked.

“What?”

“I’m standing right here but I promise you,
even if it is simply in my mind, I’ve left you. I’m gone. You’ve
lost me forever.”

He planted his hands on his hips. “You birth
a warrior or a golden girl, we shall see.”

I shook my head. “No,” I swallowed back the
tears. “No. This is it. You’ve gone too far. We’re done. I’m gone.
You’ll never get me back, Lahn. Never.”

“If what you say is true, I have won you
before, Circe. And if you are what you say you are, I will do it
again.”

I stared into his dark, beloved eyes as mine
filled with wet and unbeknownst to me the shining, golden swirl of
spirit that always was so close to the surface for Lahn to see
twinkled brightly then extinguished completely.

Then I whispered, “No. You won’t.”

Then I turned from him, missing the quickly
hidden flash of alarm that slashed across his features.

I moved to the windows and stared out, my
arms crossed protectively on my belly, the tatters of my heart
dripping blood, my lungs feeling empty as silent tears slid down my
face.

“Circe,” Lahn called but I didn’t look. I
couldn’t look. And I knew even if I saw him again, I would never
see him the same.

I knew it was crazy, all I said, but I
also knew I was
me.
And I’d only
been me for months.

And he’d fallen in love with me.

But he needed to believe in me in the good
times and bad.

Like I did with him. Sometimes it was a
struggle. But I fucking did it.