Fantasyland 04 Broken Dove (70 page)

In fact, it was me that was the reason he hurt.

Knowing I was causing pain to Christophe didn’t suck.

It killed.

That was also weighing on my mind and call me selfish, I knew he had things weighing on his mind too, but Apollo had to know it.

And still he attacked.

I’d thought on it (and thought on it) and there was no way to twist what Apollo had said into being understandable.

It just wasn’t right.

During her visit the day before, I had learned that Circe and Lahn, with Zahnin and Bain as Circe’s personal guard, had been transported here by Valentine.

I say Circe’s guard because Lahn didn’t need a guard. He was a one man guard all on his own and only a fool would attack that man. I mean, those birds didn’t even attempt to peck away at him and they were brainless creatures formed from magic but still, they knew better than to even try.

Circe told me that upon arrival in Lunwyn, Valentine had immediately sensed I was in danger and Lahn, Zahnin, Bain (with Lahn bringing Circe along because he refused to be far from her) sprang to my rescue without telling Apollo or anyone they were here.

Apparently, the ritual Circe was conducting to recoup her powers had gone a lot faster than expected. Since Valentine was already there to tell them she was moving them all to Lunwyn when it was finished, she’d just moved them all to Lunwyn.

The real Cora and Tor were with them but could not come because he had something pressing happening, seeing as he was not only a marked man with a marked wife but also a prince of two realms so shit had to get done.

They were arriving as soon as whatever royal stuff he had to do was done.

The other five hundred (yes,
five hundred
) members of Circe’s personal guard that Lahn insisted accompany her to the Northlands were riding their horses up from the Vale seeing as Valentine wasn’t real hip on transporting an entire army.

Depending on how good of time they made, they’d be here in three weeks to a month.

So now we were in my sitting room visiting.

And I was trying to figure out how I could sort the latest mess I’d gotten myself into.

What I was trying not to do was think about the fact that maybe I didn’t want to.

I hadn’t had any sleep since it happened. Not a wink. I was mentally exhausted (for, Lord knew, it was a veritable impossibility to become physically exhausted because with a housekeeper and two ladies maids, there was nothing for me to do).

All I could do was think on what Apollo said to me. How ugly it was. How uncalled for it was. How he had to know how it would wound me.

And last, that he’d let that sit for two days, maybe expecting me to go to him and smooth things over like Cristiana advised before.

And perhaps I should.

But I felt deep down inside that I shouldn’t.

I took a lot from Pol.

I had to draw a line with Apollo.

But the man he was, maybe he wouldn’t come to me.

See?

All this crap in my head, it was no wonder I couldn’t sleep.

Not to mention, worrying about Christophe and still feeling like an idiot because I’d done something so immensely stupid to start all this off.

I was
so
over it.

The problem was, I was over it, but it just wasn’t
over.

I was beginning to see the wisdom of Captain Kirk loving them and leaving them as he boldly went where no man had gone before (in the case of some of his alien partners, probably in two ways).

Because it hurt to love.

Especially when you fucked up.

Huge.

Then they fucked up.

Arguably even more huge.

Because where did you go from there?

And yes, I loved Apollo. I fell for him the instant he’d looked at me, his eyes filled with tenderness and pain. I knew this because alone at night (and also when I was alone during the day), when I wasn’t worrying or being pissed, I ran over every moment we’d shared in my head.

In doing this, I knew that a man who could look like that was a man who could feel anything, everything, and do it deeply, completely, magnificently.

Pretty much everything he’d done since had proved this irrevocably. Including (it sucked to admit, but it was true) how he expressed anger (though, that part wasn’t magnificent).

On this thought, my attention came back into the room when I saw Zahnin walk past the windows, his head turned to look out into the glade.

Lahn was at Karsvall, holed up with Apollo, Frey, Valentine and the other witch I’d only met in passing (but who, unlike Valentine, was really sweet). Her name was Lavinia.

Circe and Finnie had come with Zahnin and Bain since Circe didn’t move a muscle unless Lahn was at her side.

Or her guard was.

That was super sweet too.

“The cave was like nothing I’d ever seen,” she said, taking me out of my thoughts, and I looked from Zahnin to her. “I mean, it
glittered
. Not like the stone it was made of had anything in it that sparkled. I don’t know how to describe it, except it was magic.”

“I
so
have to go there when all this business is finally done,” Finnie declared.

“You
so
do. It was freaking
amazing,
” Circe agreed.

“So, you just walked into the fountain in the cave and,
poof,
magic restored?” Loretta asked, her wide excited eyes on Circe.

“You’re supposed to go every day for five days and walk in naked the instant the sun sets on the horizon, which isn’t easy to time since you’re in a cave and can’t actually
see
the sun setting on the horizon. Luckily, Lahn has a good internal clock. Also luckily, it only took me three days and on day three”—she shrugged—“I just filled up.”

“Could you feel it?” Loretta queried.

Circe’s eyes got kind of dreamy in this sexy way that laid even more testimony as to why she caught a hot guy the likes of Dax Lahn.

Then she whispered, “Oh yeah. I could feel it.”

Just the way she looked and spoke gave me a tingle in a private place which sucked because it made me miss Apollo even more.

And thus be even more pissed at him.

“It seems strange,” Meeta put in, “that you could do something so vital, so important as filling up your magic simply by wandering into a pool.”

Circe looked to her. “I guess so. Of course, we had to solve five riddles every day then face five trials and each day they were different riddles
and
trials. We had to do this to make it through the interconnecting caves that led to the pool and the route was different each day. Then we had to leave the caves and start all over again the next day. Luckily, we only had to do that for three days rather than the full five.”

She looked through the room but kept speaking.

“The place had tons of skeletons of those who’d failed to solve the riddles, or failed at the trials. And there were a couple of fresh kills that were unpleasant. Then, of course, Lahn almost got his head chopped off once, but”—she grinned—“I knew my man would prevail.”

My mouth had dropped open and I still hadn’t closed it when Loretta breathed, “He almost got his head chopped off?”

“We failed at that riddle the first time and these skeletons with swords came to life. He battled them.” Another grin. “He won.”

“Holy cow,” I whispered.

“I know, it was awesome,” she replied. “You would think I’d get used to how awesome he is, but I haven’t.”

I had a feeling I wouldn’t either.

It was at this point I caught something out of the corner of my eye and looked back to the windows to see both Bain and Zahnin were standing out in the snow, their eyes turned to my front door.

I was getting a lot of visitors these days, Finnie, Circe, Élan.

But it was early afternoon. Élan would be at her studies and Finnie and Circe were already there.

So I tensed when I heard the front door open, thinking maybe it was Apollo finally coming to call and wondering what I’d do if it was.

I soon found it wasn’t.

It also wasn’t Valentine or Lavinia, who the men at the main house were hogging. I hadn’t even said word one to Valentine while she’d been there.

No.

It was Hans.

A Hans who only had eyes for Loretta.

My gaze shot to Meeta.

She looked to me and shook her head as if the Hans and Loretta situation was working her last nerve, she wanted them to end the drama and just get it on.

It wasn’t working mine. It was something to keep my mind off my own situation.

I wanted Loretta to be happy, but I was proud of her. She’d crushed huge on Hans for a good long while. Now she had him and she was making him work for it.

As she should.

As he should.

I just had no idea how it would play out because she
seriously
was making him work for it and I knew Hans but I had no clue if he’d give up or fight until he got what he wanted.

I hoped it was the latter because Loretta was worth it.

I looked back to Hans when he spoke.

“Our talk was interrupted yesterday,” he stated, eyes still pinned to Loretta and he was speaking like she was the only one in the room. “I wish to finish that discussion now.”

I looked to Loretta when she replied with fake sweetness, “Oh, were we having a discussion?”

I looked back to Hans when he returned, “Indeed, we were.”

Back to Loretta when she retorted, “Funny, I thought a discussion was when two people were talking. There were two people there, but only one of us was speaking. And that was
you.
”

I pressed my lips together and turned back to Hans, who did not look happy when he shot back, “Right, then I still have things to say and this time, you can use your mouth, but only after I say them and when I finish, you won’t be using it to speak.”

Yowza!

My eyebrows darted up even as I pressed my lips tighter together and I cut my eyes back to Loretta to see her cheeks pink with anger, or embarrassment, or both.

“This would be why we aren’t talking now or
ever
,” she flashed sharply in return.

Back again to Hans when ignored this and ordered, “Hand the child to Queen Circe and come.”

Again my gaze went to Loretta when she snapped, “I think not!”

“Woman,” Hans growled impatiently.

“Man,” Loretta bit out irritably.

That was it for Hans. I knew it when he strode forward purposefully, carefully gathered Isis from Loretta’s arms, twisted to deposit her in Circe’s, then he caught Loretta’s hand. He yanked her out of the couch and dragged her from the room.

I watched, turning my neck to look over my shoulder and catch it all before I turned back to the room.

All the women were looking at each other silently with knowing eyes.

Except Meeta.

She had knowing eyes but she was not silent.

Cuddling Viktor closer, she noted blandly, “It’s my feeling that you females who allow yourselves to be caught by these overbearing men are quite mad.”

“And when was the last time you got yourself some?” I asked and she looked to me.

“Got myself some?” she queried on her brows rising elegantly.

“Were bedded,” I explained in this world language.

“Last night,” she declared. “Ruben. That was seven nights in a row. He’s an exceptional lover. By far the best I’ve ever had. He’s especially talented with his fingers. He does things with his fingers I didn’t even know were possible and I’m not inexperienced.”

“I didn’t need to know that,” Finnie muttered.

I looked to Circe to see her smiling at Finnie.

I didn’t smile. Not because it wasn’t funny, but because these days, I didn’t feel like smiling.

My eyes drifted back to the windows and I saw no Zahnin or Bain.

I saw nothing but forest and trees.

As simple as the view was, it still was beautiful.

Even with that beauty, looking at it, it hit me that with all that we had in my world, traffic and malls and TV, even with the way my life had been there, it was still simpler than my life here.

I had one goal, stay away from Pol.

I couldn’t say I was happy doing it.

I
could
say I had a mission. I had a purpose. I had something to do.

I didn’t have much of a life and I wasn’t content.