Far-out Show (9781465735829) (11 page)

“I am open to receiving signals from the
producers but I will also monitor the earth signals now that I have
deciphered how to do that. The inhabitants will not surprise us
since they cannot stop their talk-talk with nothing of difference
to add about what they are planning and where any hunters are.

“Take note of word among them of any
captures, Wilburps. If several of the contestants made it safely to
the surface we are each a danger to all the others. Once the
inhabitants know for sure we are here they will not stop looking
until they find and destroy us all.”

“There is talk-talk among them about some
signals they detect but cannot understand and suspect could be
messages between invaders. To be plain, that would likely be us and
our comrades in orbit. Their leaders are trying to reassure the
little guys by suggesting this is how they will find and remove any
threat.”

“That does it. Send this, Wilburps. Attention
producers or the guys on Ormelex, this will be my last report
unless I get a clear response to tell me I am being heard, not just
fritzerish
garble. The inhabitants are trying to track
uninvited visitors to their planet to destroy them by following any
unusual signals so these transmissions have become a danger to me.
What was I thinking when I agreed to be part of this show? Brave,
but he now sees naïve, Nerber signs off - maybe forever.” He
gestured that that was the end of the message.

“Do you want to review and edit it?”

“Send it and then we will move. If it brings
their armed defenders down on this spot we do not want to be
here.”

“The message is sent. Their talk-talk says
vigilantes will be our biggest problem. The signs are that, as on
Ormelex, any official action will take days to get organized as the
different authorities squabble about who gets any credit or
blame.”

* * *

There was no sign of anyone home in this
house at the far end of the block from where they had been hiding.
Nerber and Wilburps stood in the backyard tool shed, the door ajar
to watch for anyone coming near.

“Too bad. Guessing the functions of the many
items in here would make a great show segment but I will not send
the report and the show format would not allow for that anyway.
Signals?”

“There are garbled bits but that may be
static rather than one of the preset coded warnings,” the zerpy
replied.

“There are preset coded warnings?” His tone
made it clear that this was news to him.

“The producers decided that sending some
important messages in the clear might make problems worse. For
instance, a certain garble means we have been detected but they
cannot rescue us at the moment.”

“Are you detecting that garble?”

“It is not quite correctly garbled so I
cannot be for certain sure. The alternative is that it might be a
trick signal sent by a competitor trying to spook you into giving
up the contest.”

“I did not think about that. Unless the
inhabitants are talking about captured intruders I will go with the
conclusion that we are cut off from contact and need to try to
avoid capture until things change.”

“A logical and prudent course of action or
inaction.”

“I dislike feeling abandoned by the producers
but I dislike the idea of being killed by the inhabitants even
more. Was I wrong to sign up as a challenge show contestant to get
a few moments of celebrity and glory followed by a life of leisure
supported by my winnings? Am I a bad guy for wanting to be the best
at an obscure worthless skill?” Nerber glanced at Wilburps and
gestured for him to respond.

“Were those not rhetorical questions intended
only to vent your frustration? I do not know what response you
want.”

Nerber angrily banged his fist on the shed
wall - causing a distinct rumbling noise. Several small tools fell
from hooks on the wall to the floor with further clatter. He
cringed, ducked, and jumped around to avoid the items moving around
his feet.

“At least my frustration shows. I have gotten
no encouragement from the producers or anyone at home since we
arrived on the surface. And just that quick the inhabitants are
looking to kill me without even trying to get to know me as a
niceness guy. This is not the way I dreamed it happening. I almost
for sure am losing the control of myself. The badness feelings of
panic and despair are itching around my mind.”

“I am not programmed to be helpful at a time
like this.”

“No, the producers want the contestants to
deal with all the problems on their own. That is what the audience
wants to watch. The harder and more gruesome things are, the more
the watchers enjoy it as they hope it will get even worse for me.
But if I am stuck on this planet I have to think about what is best
for me. Maybe I should even turn you off so you cannot be secretly
sending any of this without telling me. Are you doing that,
Wilburps?”

“I am not aware that I am sending any signals
to the producers except when you tell me to but I remind you again
that my wiring could allow that without my control centers
knowing.”

“I am a trained zerpy engineer so I know for
more truly certain that you can.
Fampfuzzle!
What is the
point of going on when I am a failure, not a hero, to the citizens
of Ormelex?”

“Why not be an ambassador instead of an
invader, Nerber? Be bigger than your problem, be a
problem-solver.”

“I did fantasize that when I visited this
world I would be greeted as a brave, noble representative of my
fellow Ormelexians here to extend friendly greetings and good
wishes.”

“Forget that, you are hated but that is
because they do not know you so they fear you. Become their friend
and share some of your wisdom with them and they may spare
you.”

“Do I have wisdom I can share or spare?”

“Surely. They are obviously primitives. There
is much you can teach to them.”

“That is a good idea. If they see I am an
intelligent being even if I am a contestant on a dumb reality show
they will respect me and want to keep me safe and comfortable to
learn from me. But I must move quickly, before a mob shows up with
only killing in their heads as would happen at home. Can you detect
any signals that might be the inhabitants probing to detect us?”
Nerber asked, his nervousness obvious.

“This place is noisy and chaotic with signals
so I cannot be for certain sure. None seem to fit the pattern I
would predict their leaders would use for that purpose. There are
some that I can describe as strange but I cannot say whether they
are threats.”

Nerber turned his head away from Wilburps
before he looked upwards toward his hat. He resisted the strong
urge to reach up and touch Wowseyla as he thought about doing. He
said, “Tell me about the strange signals. Possibly they are ones I
might have some thoughts about. Is the source of any close by?”

“Close by as within your visual range, no. As
within long but possible walking distance of this spot, maybe. Some
others seem to be coming from
Whizybeam
but are not on the
standard transmission levels.”

“Tell me about the ones from this area.”

“Those might be a type of probing but they
are more like what the inhabitants would call tickles. They may
elicit some response from you that you are not aware of.”

“They are targeted on me, not on you or our
technology?”

“That seems to be the case. They are weak,
highly localized, and come from a source at the planet’s surface.
Nothing more about the source is obvious.”

“A small device probably operated by a single
inhabitant rather than part of a government system?”

“An analysis consistent with the available
information.”

“Tell me about the strange signals from
Whizybeam
.”

“Those are commands and feedback demands that
make no sense.”

“Do those seem intended primarily or at least
definitely for you to receive and respond to?”

“There are no signature codes to say yes to
that.”

“What are the source-identifying signature
codes?”

“Those are not detectable. I have repeatedly
sent the standard signals to indicate I need those before I can
respond.”

“What was the answer?”

“There has not been one. First I sent the
signals on the assigned levels of
Whizybeam
but got no
response. Then I sent them on the level they were arriving on but
still got no response. The signals seem to be checking
Whizybeam
’s systems and testing if they could override
some.”

“Interesting and worrisome. If they mean that
some parts of
Whizybeam
’s systems are slipping out of
central control then things could fall apart, possibly even
literally. Or there are forces at work up there that none of us
know for sure about.”

“Tell me your thoughts on that subject,
Nerber.”

That refocused the Ormelexian. He had slipped
and said aloud what he should only have been thinking. “Uh, I have
no thoughts. My concerns are that strange signals can mean system
problems and they may need to retrieve us without warning. I am
verifying that we both have our transporter buttons in place and
seemingly intact.”

“
Whizybeam
confirms that those tests
are operational.”

“New transmission?”

“Received as you mentioned your concern.”

“So you are back in contact with
Whizybeam
?”

“Yes, that was the first clear signal in some
time.”

“Did they receive my most recent message
about my intentions? You did send that when I finished did you
not?”

“It was sent. They signal that I should
resend it since it was not received intact. That is done.”

“Ask what they can tell me about the
situation here? How much danger am I in?”

“The signal is breaking up. Noise
interferes.”

“The same as during the earlier periods when
we could not get meaningful signals?”

“The same. What will you do now?”

“Consider the options as I check for local
interference,” Nerber said as he pushed on several control spots on
the zerpy. “I am going to look around but a floating zerpy will
attract unwanted attention so you will remain in this place.”

“Protests are made of this plan of
action.”

“This makes the point that communications
with the producers are so unreliable that I must take control of
things here myself. You will stay and I will look for a place to
find more long-term shelter and maybe a way to actual safety.”

“You must not leave me here immobilized.”

“You will be as safe as you would be by my
side.” He stepped out and closed the tool shed door.

He called quietly through the door, “If I
need translating I will come quickly to get you but I am not
seeking contact on this particular journey of discovery.”

“The signal has cleared. You are warned you
will be disqualified for going off without your official zerpy
along to record events.”

Nerber heard that but didn’t respond. He
hurried across the open area of the yard to where he could get out
of sight among the tall shrubs.

Once in there he looked out in several
directions hoping to see any inhabitant who had spotted him. Seeing
no one he relaxed a little. He took Wowseyla off his hat and left
the mini-zerpy hovering to record him as he spoke.

“I am convinced that the producers are
deliberately not replying to me even though they hear every word
said while I am near Wilburps. I judge that this is because they
judge that I am better show material when I look anxious and on the
verge of
spifgrez
. I respect their sense of drama for the
entertainment of the masses but find being on the worrying end of
things ever more unpleasant. I almost fell into their snare and did
a big show for them of yelling and jumping around and calling them
names. They want me to get anxious and desperate since that will
amuse the audience the most. It is to my credit that I recognized
that doing those things would reinforce them in the strategy of
mistreating me to get the reactions they want. They won’t be more
honest with me as a result.

“It was part of my plan from the start to
hold back some material to use on my own terms when I get home.
Starting now what and how much I will block from them increases a
lot. I did not intend to cheat, only to give myself material to use
to open doors and perhaps even minds when they were done with me. I
always knew that as a show contestant I would be a hero one day and
a was-once the next. The way to repay the abusing ways of the
producers is to make my own success that they have no part in. The
only laws that protect me are those of supply and demand. If I
offer the audience the better material, I win. When it is clear how
much I have that they don’t, they will try to claim it. Only to
discover that the laws do not give them much of an advantage since
they went to much trouble to work outside those to be sure the
contestants and others could not use the law to protect
themselves.”

He plucked Wowseyla from the air, made it
bring up its virtual keyboard and display screen, then tapped in
more code. He touched a spot on the zerpy and a foot-long beam of
green light shot up from it. He touched another spot, released the
device, and Wowseyla hovered but shifted that light beam a bit to
point into the sky but not directly overhead. “Sensor beam locates
Whizybeam
and we begin a sweep.”

He watched as a series of graphs appeared and
were replaced by others in sequence. The screen blanked, then came
back with an image of what appeared to be an aerial view of a
strange looking but colorful city surrounded by dull barren
wasteland.

“Suspicion confirmed.
Whizybeam
is
having no problems with its communication problems. The
interference with signals to me is one-way and deliberate. There
are worrisome problems with her other systems though. The producers
wish to rattle me but we all should be rattled by the strong
possibility of major engine failure. If they recognize that they
have given me no word about it - but then I suppose they would
not.