Farm Boys: Lives of Gay Men from the Rural Midwest (2 page)

As a 1975 graduate of Evansville (Wisconsin) High School, I was honored to receive the Helen Smith Literary Award, named for a local writer. Dr. Smith’s early encouragement has been important to me.

I dedicate this work to my abundantly loving mate, Bronze Quinton, and to my splendid parents, David and Catharine Fellows.

Interview subjects were recruited by publicizing the Gay Farm Boys Project through press releases sent during the summer of 1992 to twenty-six gay and lesbian community publications in the midwestern United States. These included: Chicago, Illinois—
Gay Chicago, Outlines
;
Windy City Times;
Rockford, Illinois—
Rock River News;
Indianapolis, Indiana—
Fever, Indiana Word;
Ann Arbor, Michigan—
Michigan Tribune, Out and About;
Detroit , Michigan—
Cruise, Metra;
Minneapolis, Minnesota—
Equal Time, GAZE;
Kansas City, Missouri—
Alternative News;
St. Louis, Missouri—
News-Telegraph;
Omaha, Nebraska—
New Voice;
Cincinnati, Ohio—
Nouveau Midwest;
Cleveland, Ohio—
Gay People’s Chronicle
,
Valentine News;
Columbus, Ohio—
Free Press, Gaybeat;
La Crosse, Wisconsin—
Leaping La Crosse News;
Madison, Wisconsin—
Frontiersman;
Milwaukee, Wisconsin—
In Step, Wisconsin Light;
Wausau, Wisconsin—
Lifeline;
Westby, Wisconsin—
New Beginnings.

To give the editors of these publications flexibility in publicizing the project, the appeal for interview subjects was provided in two forms—as a standard press release and a letter to the editor. The text of the standard release follows:

Approximately 120 men responded by telephone and mail to this publicity. A few emphasized the importance of discretion and anonymity in this initial contact, but most seemed trusting and uninhibited in their responses. Some of those who wrote sent brief notes requesting that more information be sent, sometimes to a post office box address. Others wrote longer, more engaging letters describing their interest in the project and their qualifications for being interviewed. For example, one man wrote:

After those days in the country, I don’t have and won’t have even a pet, at least not four-legged.

Apparent in some letters and phone conversations was an assumption, suspicion, or hope that the Gay Farm Boys Project would prove to be a networking service for men in rural areas, men with fantasies about “farm boys,” men with fantasies about sex with animals, or some combination thereof. One man wrote from rural Minnesota:

The allure of the farm-boy fantasy was brought home to me in an imploring letter from a man in suburban Chicago. Would I help him make pen-pal connections with midwestern farm boys who might be interested in hosting a city boy for a couple of days? “I love the country, and I’ve always wanted to have an adventure with a real cute farm boy way out there in the loft of the barn—wake up to fresh ground coffee, scrambled eggs with sausage, toast, and a good horse ride. I’m crazy for blond, blue-eyed hunks.” Although I could appreciate the difficulties of making satisfying connections, I did not intend the project to serve matchmaking purposes.

Thus, I avoided interviewing men whose interest in the project appeared to hinge greatly on
the prospect of social or sexual networking possibilities.

A man in Chicago wrote to say that his years on a dairy farm in Ohio had given him “many tales to tell of sex with animals. Is this what you are interested in? Do you want all the naughty but nice details?” He would tell me all about it if I promised I was not with the cops. Two men in Canada sent along cartoons relating to bestiality. I had no desire to avoid the exploration of this subject, which seems to be quite strongly linked with farm life in the popular imagination. However, I had no interest in interviewing individuals whose responses to the project appeared to be entirely salacious in nature. My preference was to involve those who evinced broader imagination and greater thoughtfulness related to the stated themes of the project. Overall, I was very pleased with the magnitude and caliber of the response to my press release.

In addition to those recruited for interviews through publicity, I enlisted a relatively small number of subjects personally. These men were generally friends or acquaintances, or strangers referred to me by people I knew. All prospective interview subjects were sent the following letter describing the project and the interview process:

• The interview is informal, in-depth, and is meant to be a relaxed and enjoyable experience. Please try to set aside two to three hours for it.
  
• We can hold the interview at your home or at some other mutually agreeable location.
  
• The format and content of the interview are flexible and specific to the individual. General areas that we are likely to cover include: childhood experiences; family relationships; parental values, beliefs and attitudes; development of your sexual awareness, understanding and self-acceptance; your present life situation, values, beliefs, attitudes, etc.
  
• The
  interview will be recorded (audio, not video) and portions of the transcript will be used as part of a book based on the “gay farm boys” theme.
  
• There is no payment for being interviewed or for any use that may be made of the content of the interview, but your participation will be duly acknowledged.
  
• If you desire anonymity, names and other key details of your story can be changed. At the interview, we will come to an agreement about these matters—on which you are free to change your mind later.
  
• If you would like further information, please contact me at the address or phone number listed above.
  

Between the spring of 1992 and the autumn of 1993, I conducted interviews with seventy-five men from rural farming backgrounds. Ages of subjects ranged from twenty-five to eighty-four years, with men in their twenties, thirties, and forties representing more than three-quarters of those interviewed. All subjects were European-American, reflecting the vastly dominant ethnic profile of the rural farming population in the mid-western U.S.

Most of the men I interviewed lived in, or near, relatively large mid-western cities and were no longer engaged in farming. This prevailing profile may result from a number of factors. First, this research project was publicized in gay and lesbian community publications centered primarily in larger cities. In addition, a greater proportion of gay-identified men from rural farming backgrounds may live in larger cities rather than small cities and towns or rural areas. Further, several men living in small towns and rural areas declined to be interviewed for reasons that appeared to center around concern about their identities being revealed.

The men I interviewed seemed to possess a wide range of sometimes mixed motives for agreeing to participate: they hoped that by telling their stories they could contribute to illuminating people’s minds and hearts, thus making a positive difference for future generations; they were simply responding enthusiastically to a project that struck them as “a great idea,” and wanted to help out so that the project would be successful; they wanted to tell what they considered to be interesting stories about their lives. A self-therapeutic motive was evident in some interviews; these subjects seemed to be influenced by a confessional or cathartic impulse to tell all, perhaps in an effort to pull together life’s loose ends and enhance their self-understanding. It was evident, as well, that some subjects hoped that their participation would assist them in meeting other men with similar backgrounds, interests, and values.

Most interviews were conducted in the midwestern United States,
including the states of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, and Nebraska. One interview was held in California. Subjects participated with the understanding that they would not be paid for any use that might be made of interview material. Most interviews were two to three hours in length, exploring many facets of the individual’s life. I was often surprised and moved by the extent to which the men I interviewed seemed to make open books of their lives. I took a casual, conversational, free-form approach to interviewing, letting the subject have primary influence on the structure of the interview. While the scope of my questioning was consistent from one interview to another, the sequencing of, and relative emphasis given to, the various lines of inquiry were influenced greatly by the ways in which each subject was inclined to talk about his own life. A summary of the major areas of inquiry follows.

• Where did you live as a child? What kind of farm was it?
  
• How would you describe your involvement in farm work? In house work?
  
• How would you describe your childhood relationships with your parents? With your siblings?
  
• Besides your parents, did any other adult play a significant role in your childhood on a day-to-day basis?
  
• Where did you go to school as a child?
  
• Describe your playmates/friends in elementary, junior high, and senior high school.
  
• Were you involved in any school-related activities in junior or senior high school?
  
• Were you involved in any non-school-related activities during junior or senior high school?
  
• Was there any particular place on or near the farm where you would go to be by yourself?
  

• How would you describe the beliefs/attitudes within your family when you were a child about people who were different from yourselves because of race, ethnicity, or religion? What were your family’s prevailing attitudes regarding gender roles, sexuality, and homosexuality?
  
• How would you describe the influence of church/religion on your childhood?
  

• When did you first become aware of your same-sex orientation? How would you describe your reaction? Did you talk with anyone or do anything else about it?
  
• Do you recall any books, magazines, movies, TV shows, or other forms of popular information or entertainment that were important to you in coming to understand your sexual identity?
  
• At any time during your childhood, did you know (or know of) someone who was gay—and you were aware of it
  then?
  
• Did you have any intimate physical or sexual experiences while growing up?
  
• How would you describe the influence of the farm culture of your childhood on your ability to recognize and come to terms with your sexual orientation?
  
• Is there any particular theory explaining the causes of homosexuality that you are especially inclined to believe?
  
• To what extent have you come out to your parents and other family members?
  
• Were you ever married?
  
• When did your parents and other family members learn that you were gay? What were their reactions?
  
• How would you describe your current relationships with your parents and other family members?
  

• If subject did not stay in farming:
  Did you ever seriously consider farming for a living? Was being gay a factor in deciding not to farm?
  
• If subject stayed in farming:
  How does being gay fit into your life as a farmer?
  
• If subject has lover/partner/mate:
  How, when, and where did you meet? Did he grow up on a farm? Has he gotten to know your parents and other family members? How would you describe his relationship with them?
  
• How would you describe your attitudes about intimate relationships with men?
  
• How would you describe your involvement in the gay community?
  
• How would you describe your political perspectives, especially with regard to issues of concern to gay people?