Faster Deeper (Take Me...#2) (New Adult Bad Boy Racer Novel) (7 page)

“No,” I say quickly, “If you could
see the looks she gives me—”

“I don’t think you can base a
whole lot on looks, Siena.”

Damn. She’s totally right, of
course. Charlie and Shelby both care too much about me and Harrison
respectively to be such easy suspects. A new fear begins to churn in the very
core of me. As awful as this whole thing is, there’s something still comforting
about the devil you know. Could a total stranger really be orchestrating this
whole thing? I can’t totally get behind Bex’s dismissal of my two possible
guilty parties, but she's right—I need to start thinking bigger. Who knows how
far this really goes.

“Siena,” my best friend says,
leaning her elbows on the table, “Have you...have you thought about taking
matters into your own hands, here?”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I mean...telling your family that
you’re seeing Harrison,” she says, “Before some gossipy expose does it for
you.”

I let out a loud bark of laughter,
causing the few other cafe patrons to turn around and scowl in my direction.

“You can’t be serious, Bex,” I
say, lowering my voice again, “Tell my dad and Enzo? What, so they can skin me
alive?”

“Sure,” Bex shoots back, “Why
not?”

“Because they’d be furious!” I
exclaim, “They’d disown me.”

“They wouldn’t,” Bex insists, “And
they’ll be a lot more angry if they find out about this from someone else,
rather than from you.”

“You can’t honestly be suggesting
that I sit the two of them down and come clean,” I say.

“That’s exactly what I’m
suggesting.”

“That...is absolutely insane,
Bex.”

“Why?”

“Because...You don’t understand.
What I’ve been doing is high treason. I’ve been going behind my family’s back
to see a man they don’t approve of. A man who my brother’s coming to despise
more and more by the day. And not only that, but I’ve put the team in a
terrible position. It’s the conflict of interest to end all conflicts of
interest.”

“Siena,” Bex says, “What do you
think your other options are, here?”

“I...I honestly have no idea. I’ve
only been thinking as far as the next hour, the next day."

“Well, what exactly is your end
game?” she asks, “Are you planning to call it off with Harrison and go your
separate ways?”

The very thought makes me sick to
my stomach. I shake my head no.

“Then are you willing to let this
blackmailer expose you once you give up and see each other again, alone?”

“Of course not.”

“Then there’s really only one
thing you can do,” Bex says, “If you really care about Harrison, and I know you
do, you have to be honest with your family. What else is there? You can’t just
stop seeing him. I know you can’t. You can’t carry on in secret forever—”

“Why not?”

“Oh, please,” Bex says, “You’re
the worst liar that’s ever lived. Even if this blackmail thing hadn’t come down
around your ears, you absolutely would have given yourself away. You’re too
sweet to lie well.”

“I’m in PR, Bex.”

“But even there, you don’t lie.
You bend the truth a little. So, bend the truth a little with your family. I’m
not saying you need to go and tell them every juicy detail about your and
Harrison’s sexcapades. All they need to know is that you’ve become involved.
Say that you met in Barcelona and have been...chatting, ever since. Say that
you really like him, but wanted to tell them before pursing anything so that
they weren’t blindsided. Sure, it’s not the whole truth, but it’s a lot closer
than what they’ve got at the moment.”

“They’re still going to flip out,”
I tell her.

“Maybe,” she says, “But you can’t
help that. Their grudge against Harrison is their own damn fault. You know full
well how these F1 guys get. It’s not your fault they decided to make Harrison
public enemy number one just because he’s an amazing racer. Once you’ve told
them the truth, they can’t stop you from making your own decisions. You’re a
grown woman, Siena. This is not out of your control, even if it may feel that
way.”

“You’re right,” I tell her, “It is
in my control.”

“Are you going to do it, then?”
she asks.

“I’ll...think about it,” I say.

“You should do more than think
about it, Siena,” Bex cautions, “I’m telling you, this is your only option. And
you’re running out of time. Sooner or later, this unknown asshole is going to
pull the trigger and blow your cover wide open.”

“Thanks for the reassurance,” I
drawl.

“You don’t need reassurance right
now,” Bex tells me, “You need a kick in the ass. Talk to your dad and brother.
Please.”

“Okay,” I say quickly, wanting to
get off this particular subject as soon as possible, “Okay, I’ll tell them.
When the time is right.”

“I can’t believe you’ve been going
through this alone,” Bex says, “This past week must have been hell for you.”

“It was that,” I laugh sullenly,
“Is
is
that.”

Bex comes around to my side of the
table and wraps me up in her arms. I soften against her tiny body, giving her a
tight squeeze. God, it feels good to talk about this. Especially to someone who
isn’t afraid to give me a little tough love when I need it. Bex has always been
in my corner, whatever it means in the moment.

“Come on,” she says, “Let’s get out
of here and bring you back into the world of the living, shall we?”

“I really can’t go back out
tonight, Bex,” I say, letting her pull me to standing all the same. “Running
into Harrison at that club could have been catastrophic.”

“We’ll just hang out at the hotel
then,” she says, “Let me buy you a drink. Pretty please?”

“Only because you asked so
nicely,” I smile.

We leave the cafe together, hand
in hand. It’s only been a week or so since the bottom fell out of my world, but
it feels like forever that I’ve been guarding this secret from everyone but
Harrison. Already, I feel ten pounds lighter. And Bex’s idea to let my dad and
Enzo in on my relationship with Harrison...it’s terrifying, but intriguing.
Could that be the way out of this mess after all?

Bex makes a beeline for the bar
the second we arrive back at the swanky hotel. It’s still early in the evening,
so the dining room isn’t terribly crowded. We sit together at the
mostly-deserted bar, and Bex orders us a couple of vodka cranberries. I happily
accept my drink and clink my glass against my best friend’s.

“I don’t know what I’d do without
you, Bex,” I tell her.

“That makes two of us,” she winks.

I scan the elegant dining room,
checking to make sure that there are no unsavory characters lurking around.
That night at
Zhelaniye was such a shit show that I’m nervous to see any
of my racing contemporaries at all. I’m just about to turn back to Bex, my
sweep completed, when my eyes alight on Enzo’s face, far across the room. He’s
sitting facing us at a corner table, a wide grin splayed across his lips. And
he isn’t alone, either. Opposite him sits a woman—I can’t see her face from
where I’m sitting. But as she shakes out her blonde mane and lets a trill of
laughter escape her throat, I know at once who Enzo is dining with. It’s
Shelby.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I breathe.

“What?” Bex asks, whipping around to follow my gaze. “Oh
dear...”

I’m on my feet before I have a moment to think, ready to
storm over there and give them both hell.

“What are you doing?” Bex hisses.

“Just saying a friendly hello,” I reply, through gritted
teeth.

“Siena, I don’t think that’s a good idea—”

But I’ve already plunked my drink down on the bar. I march
across the space, Bex right on my heels. As we bear down on Enzo’s table, his
eyes flick up toward us. His smile stays entirely intact, a fact that only
serves to annoy me more.

“Hey, girls!” Enzo says happily, “Care to join us?”

Shelby glances over her shoulder and catches sight of us. A
slow grin lifts the corners of her lips as she takes in my furious expression.

“Siena,” she says, her voice bright and cheerful, “I’m so
happy to see you! You ran out of the club so quickly that we didn’t get a
chance to catch up.”

“I know, it was really a low point of my life not getting to
chat with you,” I say, “Can I please have a minute alone with my brother?”

“Siena, we were just about to order,” Enzo tells me.

“This is important,” I say, planting my feet, “If you’d be
so kind, Shelby?”

“Well...” the blonde drawls, shooting Enzo a quizzical look.

“I’ve been meaning to quiz you about your hair care
regimen,” Bex says to Shelby, “Come have a drink with me?”

“Fine,” the British bombshell sighs, rising up to join Bex,
“I’ll be back in a minute, Enzo.”

I wait until Shelby and Bex are out of hearing range before
I sink heavily into the now empty chair opposite Enzo.

“What the hell gives?” I demand.

“I could ask the same of you,” he says, “I was in the middle
of a date!”

“No. False,” I say, “You are not on a date with that woman.”

“Actually...”

“She’s from McClain,” I tell him, “You know, the team you’ve
had it out for this entire season?”

“I don’t have it out for McClain,” Enzo says, crossing his
arms, “It’s just Davies who’s on my shit list.”

“Are you serious?” I ask, staring at my brother, “You’re
seriously going to sit there and tell me that you have no qualms about taking
someone from McClain out on a goddamn dinner date.”

“No qualms at all,” Enzo smiles.

“Despite the fact that Shelby happens to be a maniacal bitch
who hates me?” I continue.

“What the...You two don’t even know each other!”

“We know each other well enough for my taste,” I mutter,
“Enzo, you don’t understand. That woman is awful.”

“How is she awful, Siena?”

I bite my lip, stalling. I can’t exactly tell Enzo why it is
that I can’t stand Shelby. I can’t tell him that she might be onto me and
Harrison, might even be the person plotting my professional ruin. But if she
really is the anonymous picture texter, what is she doing with my brother? Is
she hunting for even more dirt on me, through him?

“I know you’re just being
protective of me,” Enzo says, taking my hand on the table, “But I’m a big boy,
Siena.”

“But a boy all the same,” I
mutter, standing to go.

“Are you angry with me?” Enzo
asks.

“You’re just becoming someone I
don’t know anymore, Enzo,” I tell him, “Someone I’ve never even met.”

I stalk across the dining room,
back toward Shelby and Bex. The English beauty sees me coming and lowers
herself down off my stool. We cross paths at the center of the room and pause,
sizing each other up.

“I’m onto you,” I tell her, “I
just want you to be perfectly clear about that.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what
you’re talking about,” she says lightly.

“I don’t know why you’re dragging
my brother into this mess,” I plow on, “But I swear to God, if you hurt Enzo or
his career—”

“Oh relax,” she drawls, “Your
brother is safe with me. Why so touchy, Siena? There are lots of other drivers
on this season. Surely you of all people could learn to share Enzo?”

My blood runs hot as Shelby
flashes me a quick smile and steps around me toward my brother. I watch her
sway across the floor, my mind reeling madly. What the hell did she mean by
that last jab? Did she just reveal to me that she’s my mystery spy, or am I
just reading way too much into her cattiness?

One thing is for sure, though.
Enzo taking a McClain woman out on a date changes the name of the game a bit.
It’s clear to me now that the problem with me and Harrison being together isn’t
an issue of McClain vs. Ferrelli, it’s all about Lazio vs. Davies. It’s my
brother’s ego I have to worry about, plain and simple. But if he’s courting
Shelby all of a sudden, how will he be able to make a case against me seeing
Harrison? Maybe this is a blessing wrapped up in some strange, baffling
disguise.

I sit down next to Bex once more
and take a long sip of my drink.

“Well,” she says, “This just got a
lot more interesting.”

“Tell me about it,” I say.

“Kind of pokes holes in the theory
of her carrying a flame for Harrison,” Bex points out, “Maybe she’s not your
blackmailer at all, huh?”

“I’m not so sure, Bex,” I say,
eyeing my brother and Shelby across the room, “But whatever she is to me or
Enzo, I’m going to find a way to use it to my advantage.”

“So you’re really going to do it?
Tell your dad and Enzo the truth?”

“As soon as I work up the nerve,”
I tell her, “There’s no reason my brother should get to do whatever he wants
with whoever he wants while I sneak around. It’s time for this double standard
nonsense to end.”

I may be talking tough, but the
thought of coming clean still terrifies me. How can it be the right thing and
yet feel so risky?

Before I know it, the day before
the Moscow Grand Prix has arrived. The preliminaries and qualifiers have all
been raced, and tomorrow the race itself will go down. Tensions ran high on and
off the track as the practice laps unfolded. There were no outright moments of
confrontation, just a lot of icy silence. Usually, there’s an excited sort of
camaraderie among drivers and teams. But for the past couple of days, things
have felt very formal. Far too formal for what is, in the end, a great big
sporting event.

I’ve been doing my best through
the past few days not to drink in the sight of Harrison too obviously on the
track. Who knows—my lovesick puppy eyes could be the final straw for our
blackmailer. Anyway, we’re set to meet this evening in front of the State
Museum. Then, I’ll be able to feast my eyes on him all I want. And my hands,
and my mouth if we manage to find somewhere private enough...

I’m in my room, pulling together
an outfit for my rendezvous with Harrison. Despite the high stakes, these
illicit meet ups are sort of thrilling. It’s like one of those old
movies...except of course that those always wrapped up with a happy ending. Who
knows if Harrison and I will get that lucky?

Having pulled on my favorite pair
of skinny jeans and loose cropped tee shirt, I weave my hair into a side braid
and grab my coat. Just as I’m about to wrench my door open, it swings into my
room. I jump back, surprised, as Enzo strides across the threshold. We haven’t
said too much to each other since I found him schmoozing that Shelby woman, and
a cool silence falls between us now.

“Where are you off to?”

“Nowhere,” I lie.

“You were heading out the door,”
Enzo says.

“Did you need something?” I ask
him, deflecting hard.

“I don’t,” he tells me, “But Dad
wanted me to come find you. He said there’s something he wants to talk to us
about.”

“Right now?” I ask, desperation
gnawing at the edges of my mind.

“Yeah, right now,” Enzo says,
“Seriously, Siena, where do you have to be?”

“I’m just...I was...”

“I think it might be serious,”
Enzo says, shutting the door behind him, “Dad’s been acting weird as hell
around me lately.”

“Actually...he’s kind of been odd
to me too,” I say, crossing my arms.

“Well, we should go hear him out,”
Enzo says, “If you can spare a moment, of course.”

“Don’t be an asshole,” I say,
brushing past my brother and yanking open the door. Whatever Dad has to tell
us, it probably won’t take too long. He’s a man of few words, that one. I’ll
listen to whatever he has to say, then go and meet Harrison at long last. No
problem at all.

Enzo and I step into the elevator
together. I realize, as the doors slide shut, that this is the first time in
weeks we’ve been truly alone together. The sudden closeness is a little
startling. I glance Enzo’s way, saddened that my brother’s coming to feel more
and more like a stranger to me these days.

“What’re you staring at me for?”
he asks, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’m not staring,” I mutter,
crossing my arms.

“You’re still mad at me, huh?” he
sighs.

“Why would I be mad at you, Enzo?”
I ask coolly.

“Oh, come on,” he says, “You’ve
been giving me the silent treatment since you saw me with Shelby the other
day.”

“Who you spend time with is your
business,” I say, “I don’t presume to dictate who you sleep with, Enzo.”

“Who said anything about sleeping
with her?” he grins.

“Please,” I say, rolling my eyes,
“You’ve been on at least one date with her. And you’re you. So that means you’re
sleeping together.”

“What a low opinion you have of
me, Siena.”

“No lower of an opinion than you
have of the women you date,” I shoot back.

“Rough,” Enzo says, the corners of
his mouth turning down.

“I’m just a little sick of this
double standard bullshit,” I say, “You go through women like Kleenex, but my
love life has been policed since my first date in the eighth grade.”

“What do you want, Siena? You’re
my little sister. Dad’s little girl. We’re just trying to take care of you.”

“By dictating who and what I
should want?”

“By trying to keep you away from
men who will hurt you.”

“Don’t you understand? When you do
that, you are men who hurt me, Enzo.”

“Don’t say that,” he mutters.

“It’s the truth,” I say, “As much
as it may hurt to hear it.”

“Why is this just coming up now?”
Enzo asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve never had a
problem with us being protective before. Why is it suddenly some big deal?”

“Because...Because I’m twenty-five
years old, and I want to start—”

“Is there someone you have your
eye on? Someone you don’t think we’d approve of?”

I stare blankly at my brother.
This little meeting with my dad could be the perfect time to tell them that I’m
seeing Harrison Davies. I can’t let on that I’ve already been his lover for
weeks, that would ruin the timing of this little confession entirely.

Luckily, the elevator doors slide
open just in time. I hurry out of the car with Enzo on my heels and turn down
the hall toward Dad’s door. As we draw up in front of our father’s suite, the
door swings open before us. Dad is standing there waiting, a brave smile
twisting his otherwise grave expression. It’s the look he wore when he came to
see me the other day, only more pronounced. What in the hell could possibly be
going on here?

“Good. You’re here,” Dad says,
stepping aside to let us into the room.

“Are you OK, Dad?” Enzo asks.

“Come in, have a seat,” our dad
responds, evading the question entirely.

I make my way further into the
room, a cold dread beginning to blossom in my gut. It’s hardly five o’clock in
the afternoon, but a full bottle of whiskey stands open on the coffee table
with three glasses flanking it. Whatever it is Dad wants to talk about, it’s
clearly something that’s going to need liquid reinforcement. I wish I could
stop time in its tracks, hold off whatever it is I’m about to hear forever.

“Breaking out the good stuff,”
Enzo observes, trying to crack through the stifling tension that fills the
room.

“Only the best for you two,” Dad
replies, moving toward the table.

Enzo and I sit side by side on the
couch as Dad pours out three generous whiskeys. He hands us each a glass and
takes one for himself, raising it to us. I notice with alarm that this amber
liquid sloshes slightly as his hand trembles.

“To family,” he says, his voice
thick, “And mine, most of all.”

We raise our glasses to our lips
in unison, and the burning warm liquid offers me a brief moment of comfort. I’m
not usually one for straight liquor, but it sure hits the spot right about now.
I wrap my hands around my glass, bracing myself for the worst as Dad settles
into an arm chair opposite us.

“So?” Enzo says, “What is this all
about, Dad?”

“I...Jesus,” Dad sighs, “You know,
I had this whole speech planned out, and now it’s completely gone out of my
head.”

“Did something happen with the
team?” Enzo asks, “We’re all still gainfully employed and all, right?”

“Of course,” Dad laughs, “Ferrelli
would never get rid of a Lazio, that’s for certain.”

A brief twinge of relief passes
through me at that. For a moment, I was worried that Dad was about to call me
out, tell me that he’s already learned of my affair.

“Is something going on with Mom?”
I ask, casting around in the dark, “Is everything OK between you two?”

“As fine as it’s ever been,” Dad
replies, “She wanted to be here for this, really. But you know how she is. She
can’t even watch the races, she gets so nervous. I don’t blame her for being too
upset to come now.”

“Come for what?” Enzo urges, “Come
on, Dad. You’re killing us, here.”

An alarmed look passes over Dad’s
face. He can’t put this off any longer. Instinctively, I grab for Enzo’s hand,
all argument between us forgotten for the moment. He laces his fingers with
mine, giving my hand a tight squeeze.
Don’t worry
, that little bit of
pressure says,
Whatever it is that’s about to happen, we’re going to get through
it together
. Dad takes a sip of his whiskey
and looks up at us, eyes misty.

“There’s no easy way to begin
this,” he starts, “But there’s something I haven’t told you kids that’s come to
a head. I’ve uh...Well, there have been some health concerns that I may not
have mentioned.”

“Health concerns? Your health?” I
ask.

“Please, let me get through this,”
Dad says, “The truth is, I got some news a couple of months ago that I didn’t
share with you two. My doctor, he ran some tests at my physical right before
the season started. I didn’t want to burden you guys, not as we were about to
head into another championship. But the way things have progressed...I can’t
keep you in the dark any longer. It wouldn’t be fair.”

He takes another long sip of his
drink, and I join him. I’m having trouble forcing air into my lungs, and Dad
hasn’t even gotten to the heart of his admission.

“What kind of tests?” Enzo asks,
“What did they find?”

Dad looks up at us, looking
hopeless and heartbroken. He takes a deep breath and gazes down at the hotel
carpet.

“The tests...they were recommended
by an oncologist,” he says, “I’d been having some symptoms, some issues.”

“They tested you for...cancer?” I
ask, my voice hollow.

Dad nods wordlessly.

“And they came back—they came
back—?” Enzo stutters.

“Positive,” Dad all but whispers.

The grounds seems to give way
beneath me, and the foundation of my world falls away. The world grinds to a
halt all around me, and every minute detail of this moment stands out in high
resolution. Enzo, frozen stiff in denial and anguish, our half-empty whiskey
glasses clenched in our fists, and of course my father—head bowed in sorrow. I
know that this is a scene that I will remember for the rest of my life.

All at once, the world speeds back
up, the sound rushes back in, and I’m flying across the room into my father’s
arms. He pulls me tightly against him as I throw my arms around his shoulders,
holding my tears in with all my might.

“Don’t worry Dad,” I whisper, “I
know it must be scary, but we’re here for you. We’ll get you the best care
possible. You’ll be able to beat it. You’re a winner, you’ll win this too.”

“Oh, Siena,” Dad says, his voice
choked, “My girl...I’m afraid this is one match I’m going to have to lose.”

“What are you talking about?” Enzo
asks, “You can’t just give up, Dad. What the hell are you talking about?”

“By the time they found out,” Dad
says, stroking my hair, “It was already too late.”

“Slow down,” Enzo says, refusing
to hear him, “Found what?”

“The tumor,” Dad says, “It started
in my lungs, but it’s traveled, son. They gave me a year, tops.”

“That’s plenty of time to do
something about it!” Enzo exclaims.

“No, Enzo,” Dad says, “It’s spread
too far. It was inoperable by the time we knew it was there.”

“What about radiation?
Chemotherapy?” I ask desperately.

“Siena, we were just about to
start a season when I found out,” Dad says, “How could I have gone in for all
that? Besides, none of my doctors could even guarantee that it would work. Why
would I spend the last year of my life miserable, locked up in some hospital,
instead of doing what I love with my children?”

“You mean you had a chance?” I
ask, standing in front of my father.

“Barely,” he replies, “It was
never a choice for me. This is the best treatment I could have asked for. Being
on the road, watching Enzo sweep this season.”