Authors: Judith Keim
Tags: #Contemporary Women's Fiction, #romance, #Surviving Divorce, #Women Supporting Each Other, #Women's Friendships
As she was dressing for bed, Sukie wondered as she did so often, just where her relationship with Cam was headed. It was all so confusing—falling in love with a younger man, a single father, someone who could have his choice of many others. From every aspect, it was so new and not a little bit frightening.
Sukie was deep in sleep when she felt a tug on her arm. Startled, her eyes flew open. Chloe stood next to Sukie’s bed, peering up at her in the semi-dark room. “Can I get in bed with you?”
Sukie glanced at the bedside clock. Six o’clock. She held back a groan. This was one aspect of caring for a three-year-old she hadn’t missed. “Sure, honey. Come on up.”
Chloe tossed Sally up on the bed and Sukie helped Chloe climb in beside her. Her little feet were chilly against Sukie’s warm body. Sukie put her arm around Chloe and drew her close, inhaling the sweet smell of the bubble bath soap on Chloe’s skin. They lay side by side for a few minutes, quietly talking about pre-school.
Chloe turned to Sukie. “Sally’s hungry.”
Sukie yawned and stretched. No more lounging in bed. “Okay, we’ll get up and have breakfast.” Chloe jumped off the bed, and Sukie grabbed her robe.
After breakfast and getting Chloe dressed, Sukie pulled on a pair of jeans, a white tank top and a crisp white shirt. Chloe lay on the bed, watching her.
“Wait!” Chloe ran over to the closet and pulled out a pair of strappy red heels. “Here.”
Sukie laughed, amused Chloe seemed to be into fashion already. “Thanks, but these brown sandals will do.”
They left the house and headed to World Foods.
Sukie walked through the entrance of the market, pushing Chloe in a cart. Debbi Warren looked up from the fresh fruit and wiggled her fingers in greeting. Giving Chloe a meaningful look, Debbi’s eyebrows lifted. She came right over to Sukie. “Emily’s been trying to reach Chloe’s father for some time. She’s hoping for more babysitting jobs for him. I didn’t know you’d gone into the babysitting business, too. I must say, Sukie, you’re very ambitious—working at the library and now this.”
Words tumbled in her brain and got stuck in her throat.
“Wanna go faster!” Chloe swayed in her seat, rocking the cart.
Sukie pasted a bright smile on her face for Debbi’s benefit and patted Chloe on the head. “I guess I’d better keep moving.”
At home, Sukie settled Chloe at the kitchen table with new crayons and a coloring book and put away the groceries. She’d planned a special dinner for Cam—filets of beef, grilled asparagus marinated in a soy-garlic dressing, fresh sliced tomatoes and a gooey chocolate dessert she thought he’d like.
The phone rang. Sukie eagerly picked it up, hoping it was Cam.
“Hi, Mom!” Elizabeth said.
“Elizabeth! What a nice surprise! How are you?”
“Not too good. I need to know what’s going on. Dad called me this morning and I just got off the phone with Rob. Is it true? Are you seeing some guy a whole lot younger, someone who has a three-year-old? Dad was furious. Rob didn’t sound too happy about it, either. He says the whole town is talking about you and what Dad called your young stud.”
Sukie’s entire body felt like it had been flash frozen. Her own children were becoming sucked into the idea that what she was doing was somehow wrong. This, after what Ted had done to her. Tears stung Sukie’s eyes.
“Mom?”
“What?”
“It’s just that Dad is really upset. He’s afraid all this talk is part of the reason he’s being reassigned to the branch bank in the new development north of town. It’s a demotion of sorts.”
“Wha-a-a-t! He didn’t mention anything about his job to me.”
“It seems he’s known about it for a while. He told me it might affect my tuition payments, that you might have to sell the house and move to something smaller.”
The headache Sukie had tried to fight off earlier pounded behind her eyes with renewed force. Ted wanted her to sell the house, yet he was looking into a new lake house for himself. Resolve stiffened Sukie. She’d spent years sacrificing her own comfort, sometimes her own happiness, to keep her family content. No more.
She spoke in as calm a voice as she could muster. “Money for your tuition was set aside a long time ago, Elizabeth. You remind him of that, will you? And remind yourself and your brother that I wouldn’t do anything to make you ashamed of me. Got it?”
“Geez, Mom...”
Her body trembling with outrage, Sukie hung up the phone. She and Elizabeth never fought. What next?
Chloe patted her legs. “Is Sukie sad?”
Sukie tried to smile and decided the hell with it. Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Yes, Sukie is sad.”
Chloe held up her arms. Sukie picked her up and hugged her, grateful for the comforting arms the sweet little girl placed around her neck. She’d been raised to care what others thought and said about her and to behave in such a way that nobody could find fault with her. Now, apparently, except to the women in Fat Fridays, she was a big loser.
Sukie set Chloe down and led her outside. The fresh air might do them both good. Sukie pulled a big rubber ball out of the storage bench beside the patio and tossed it on the lawn. Chloe squealed gleefully and ran after it.
Sukie was playing a running game of ball in the backyard with Chloe when Cam appeared. Chloe shrieked with delight and raced over to him. He smiled at Sukie as he picked up Chloe, then walked over and gave Sukie a kiss. His damp hair hung in a curl over his forehead, exuding the essence of his spice-scented shampoo.
Sukie inhaled the scent of him and smiled. “You look much more rested.”
He grinned. “Thanks for babysitting Chloe. You should do this more often.”
Her nerves on edge from all she’d been through that morning, Sukie tensed. “You’re asking me to be your babysitter?”
He shrugged. “A babysitter with privileges. Right?”
Sukie’s jaw dropped. My God! It was all too real.
“What’s the matter?” Cam shot her a puzzled look.
“I can’t do this anymore. Whatever I thought we had together has...” Nausea made her stop. “Sorry, Cam. I’ll get Chloe’s things and you can go.”
“What in hell are you talking about? Did I say something wrong?”
Heartbroken, Sukie turned back to him. “This whole thing with us is wrong. Everyone thinks I’m a fool and they’re right. I can’t pop in and out of your bed and have it mean nothing more than being your babysitter with privileges. I’m not made that way.”
“What? You know how I feel about you...”
Sukie cut him off, seeing the situation in a whole different light. “I’m afraid I do.” Her voice broke. Everything she thought was true was turning out to be a lie. Ted was trying to go back on his word and Cam couldn’t give her any promises and, at this point, Sukie didn’t trust herself to make decent decisions regarding him or anybody else.
“I’ll get Chloe’s things and meet you at your car.” Sukie fled into the house, gathered Chloe’s belongings together and marched out to Cam’s SUV. “Here.”
“What in hell is the matter with you?” Cam asked, strapping Chloe into her car seat. He straightened and faced her. “If you’re telling me it’s over, fine. It’s over. I don’t come begging, Sukie.”
Sukie shook her head. “I can’t do it. My children, my ex, the women in the neighborhood, they all think I’m a fool. You, yourself, called me a babysitter with privileges. How stupid of me not to see it that way before. ”
Cam’s eyes widened. “Is that what you think, Sukie?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore,” she said, miserable.
Cam got into the car without saying another word. He backed the car out of the driveway and took off down the road. The roar of his engine let Sukie know just how angry he was.
She went inside, packaged up the steaks and put them in the freezer. Her head aching, she lay down on the couch in the den, wondering how she could have been so foolish. The phone rang, but she refused to answer it.
Much later, Sukie awoke to the sound of her neighbor mowing his lawn. The heat of the day was gone. Sleepy-eyed, she got to her feet and wandered into the kitchen. The message light on her phone was blinking. She studied it for several moments before retrieving any. Julie had called from the library to say that Monday’s last two computer classes had been cancelled; Elizabeth had called to say she was sorry; and Carol Ann had left a message about the gorgeous condo John was renting and invited her to stop by to see it.
Sukie grabbed the chocolate candy bar she’d hidden behind the vinegar in the cupboard and went back to the den. She wanted nothing to do with anybody else until her feelings were squared away. As if they ever would be.
W
hen Sukie arrived at the library, a Friends of the Library regular Monday meeting was already in progress. Julie waved her over and asked her to give them an impromptu report on her activities. Sukie was kept busy from then on, until she dragged herself out of the library at five-thirty. The pace continued that way for the entire week, one activity after another. She even skipped a Fat Fridays luncheon to cover for Julie at a Friends awards luncheon while Julie made a speech at the Rotary Club. Sukie carried out all her duties in a state of numbness over what she’d lost with Cam.
Betsy called her that night. “Sukie? Are you all right? We missed you at Fat Fridays.”
“Yes...no...I will be,” Sukie answered, forcing an upbeat note to her voice.
“Wanna join Karen and me for dinner? We’re going to Peppino’s, the new Italian restaurant over in Meridon. I hear it’s good.”
“Thanks, but I’m going to stay right here.” The house was once more becoming her safe haven.
“Sukie Skidmore, you’re not going to go back to square one, are you?” Betsy’s voice became stern. “I’ve heard rumors that Cam is taking someone else out for dinner tonight. Is that what this is all about?”
Sukie’s knees buckled. She found a chair and sank onto it. “He’s dating someone? Who is it?”
Betsy let out a sigh. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but here goes. I’d rather you hear it from me. It’s one of the IT consultants on his team. Her name is Marilyn Embers. She’s not nearly as pretty as you are and, between you and me, aside from IT stuff, she doesn’t appear to be too bright. None of us knows what he sees in her.”
The thought of Cam dating someone else was like a stab to Sukie’s heart. She took a deep, painful breath.
“I’m sorry, Sukie. I really am. It could be just a business thing...”
“I don’t think so, but thanks for trying to make me feel better. Have fun with Karen.”
“Sukie, I’m not going to let you hide inside your house for long.”
“I know. I just need a little more time.”
Tears stung Sukie’s eyes as she hung up. How could she have been so wrong about Cam?
###
S
ukie woke up Saturday morning determined to make peace with Elizabeth. She’d tried to phone her earlier in the week, but Elizabeth hadn’t returned the call. Sukie hated conflict, and fighting with her children had made her stomach a burning fire.
Needing some sort of settlement, she dialed Elizabeth’s number. “Elizabeth?”
“Mom? I’m sorry, I can’t talk. I’m on my way out. I’ll be late for my special Saturday class.”
Disappointed, Sukie hung up, and reached for an antacid pill. Still in her pajamas, she poured herself a cup of coffee and stood staring out at the garden through the French doors of her kitchen. Gray clouds scudded across the May sky, playing hide and seek with the sun. Rain was sure to follow. She decided to go to a matinee to see a thriller movie to vent her frustration. Or maybe she’d choose a sappy romantic story where she could cry as much as she wanted. She searched the paper.
Love Always
was a highly rated romantic tearjerker—exactly what she needed to get the last of Cam out of her system.
That afternoon, Sukie sat in the dark interior of the theater caught up in the love triangle being played out on the screen, letting her emotions play along, sobbing long after others had stopped. When the lights came on in the theater, Sukie wiped away the last of her tears and headed out the door.
Outside, she’d almost reached her car when a voice called out to her. “Sukie! Sukie Skidmore!”
Mary Anderson hurried toward her, smiling. “Hi! I thought that was you.”
Sukie worked to put a smile on her face. She hadn’t seen Mary since that fabulous dinner in Atlanta, on her first date with Cam. “What are you doing in town?”
Mary gave Sukie an affectionate peck on the cheek. “Bob is here working on another special project for MacTel with Cam and his team. I came along for the ride and needed to kill some time on my own. I’d love it if you and Cam could join us for dinner tonight.”
Sukie bowed her head and struggled to maintain an air of calm. Taking a deep breath, she faced Mary boldly. “Cam and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
Mary’s eyebrows rose with surprise. “Really? You two seemed so happy together. I’m so sorry. Take care, Sukie.” She gave Sukie a quick hug and left.
Sukie returned home emotionally drained. Crying about someone else hadn’t cured the tears she still felt inside over Cam. She slid a frozen dinner in the microwave, ignored a phone message from Ted and resigned herself to another lonely evening.
The sound of the doorbell brought Sukie to her feet. She tensed. If Ted wanted to do battle with her, he’d chosen a bad moment. Sukie was ready to scrape every dyed hair off his head for everything he’d put her through.
She cautiously walked to the door and peered through the peep hole. Betsy, Karen and Lynn stood outside. Pink balloons bobbed in Betsy’s hand.
Sukie grinned and threw open the door, so relieved to see her friends, she wanted to sob.
Betsy beamed at her. “The others will be here soon, but we wanted to give you fair warning. We’re going to party!”
Sukie threw her arm around Betsy. “Come on in! I sure could use one.”
Betsy handed Sukie the balloons. “Great! I didn’t think you’d mind all of us barging in on you.”
“Mind it? I love it!” The Fat Fridays group was exactly what she needed.
Tiffany drove up in her SUV. Carol Ann’s Probe pulled into Sukie’s driveway. They gathered on Sukie’s front porch, chatting among themselves, and then went inside. Holding the festive balloons, Sukie led them into the kitchen. Karen, Tiffany and Lynn set paper bags down on the kitchen counter.