Fatal Courage: Shadow Force International, Book 3 (Shadow Force International Romantic Suspense Series) (39 page)

“Yes,” Beatrice said. “I’ve given them the details about your hunt for Agent Hayden and then for Al-Safari, but they’ll want full accounts from you and Agent McKellen, once she’s able.”

The next few days were going to be long and tedious, but Jax didn’t care as long as Ruby came out of this all right. “SFI could use a doctor on staff, don’t you think?”

He was staring through the glass, looking down on the surgeons who appeared to be wrapping things up. The heart monitor beat a solid, steady rhythm. The anesthesiologist was backing off the sedation into Ruby’s IV. One of the nurses turned and gave Jax a thumbs-up signal.

The tightness that had wrapped itself around his chest for the past several hours loosened. He waited for Beatrice’s response.

He glanced at her faint reflection in the glass, saw one side of her mouth quirked up in a smile she was trying hard to suppress. About Ruby or about his subtle hint?

“Actually, I was thinking the same thing myself,” she said quietly, and the suppressed smile broke free.

Chapter Twenty-six

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R
UBY
W
OKE
W
ITH
the lyrics to
Stayin’ Alive
by the Bee Gees running through her muddled brain. A muted beeping came from her right, keeping time with the beat.

Stayin’ Alive
. Really?

Her body seemed too light, too
not there
. For a moment, she wondered if she’d died and gone straight to some sort of disco hell where 70’s music repeated in a never-ending track. Scared to open her eyes and find herself with a flashing neon ball spinning over her head, she tried moving her fingers instead.

Softness met the tips of her fingers, the sensation familiar. Stretching a bit farther, she probed. Yep, if this was disco hell, Jax was here with her. She’d know the feel of his short, silky hair anywhere.

As always, the thought of him increased her pulse, the beeping noise accelerating. With the escalation of her pulse, a flood of images entered her mind. Most made no sense.

At least not to her brain. Her body, though, responded. Sensation returned to her limbs in a rush. Her pulse jumped again, sending the monitor nearby dancing even faster.

With the return of sensation, she realized one leg felt extraordinarily heavy. Cracking her eyelids open, she saw a blanket over her chest, an IV line in one arm.

Jax’s head on her thigh.

His deep slumber reassured her and she glanced around at the foreign room. She was in a hospital bed, the blinds drawn, a couch nearby.

No Al-Safari. No plane.

Just Jax. He’d fallen asleep on her leg, one hand on her stomach, the other across her thigh.

She tried to remember what had happened, sorting through the fuzziness and chaos in her mind. Snatches of a car ride came back to her. Al-Safari, a plane…

Combing through the mess made her head throb. Her stomach lurched at the sudden gut memory of falling from the sky. A crash.

Izala
.

Her breath caught at the memory of his cruel smile. The black end of his gun barrel.

He wants Jax.

She blinked her eyes, took a faulty breath. Her ribs rebelled, but they seemed to be confined.

Keeping one hand on Jax, she used the free one to lift the covers from her chest. Her shoulder injury fired at the movement, a trickle of pain, a lack of mobility. Under the hospital gown, she could see a ridge around her ribs where a bandage supported them.

She glanced over at her shoulder. Lifting her free hand, she probed the side of her neck, found another bandage there.

Shit, I’m a mess
.

Her neck, her shoulder, her ribs. As she concentrated on breathing, the images flipping through her brain slowed somewhat, untangled.

She clung to the two most important ones.

Jax has saved her.

Izala was dead.

Her mouth was dry and her throat sore. Probably from the drugs they were pumping into her system to keep the worst of the pain at bay. “Ja…Ja…”

The x’s at the end of his name were lost. Her tongue would not form the necessary
sss
sound.

His breathing didn’t alter. Finally she pulled a strand of his hair.

“Ow!” He jerked awake, sitting straight up and swearing. “What the…?”

The curse died on his lips as he saw her smiling at him.

“Hello, beautiful,” he said, grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles. “How you feelin’?”

“Weird,” she croaked.

He released her hand and grabbed a cup of water off the tray nearby. “Drink this. It’ll help.”

She did and it was the best damn water she’d ever had. A few more sips and her tongue worked again. “My head’s in a fog and my body is really stiff.”

“Not surprising after you survived a plane crash, poisoning, and two bullet wounds.”

“Poisoning?”

“Yep.” He grinned as he took her empty cup. “You poisoned yourself with that syringe in your pocket, sweetheart.”

“Oh, jeez,” she said and they both laughed. His was loose, hers was short, the bandage keeping her in check.

“Only you,” he said and his laughter grew.

She knew it was part relief. Her chuckle grew a little bigger too. Jax laughing so unrestrained was rare and she enjoyed the moment. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Nope.”

She laughed harder, her ribs protesting, but it felt good. Cathartic. Tears ran out of the corners of her eyes. When she could finally breathe again, she asked, “How did you save me from that?”

“The doctors did that,” he said, wiping a few tears from his own eyes. “I just got you here.”

She had the feeling there was more to it than that. “I scared the living hell out of you, didn’t I?”

His face sobered. He squeezed her hand. “You ever do that to me again, and I’ll…”

“Kill me?” She grinned.

He grinned back. “Something like that.”

They stared at each other for a moment, so many things passing between them.

Jax pulled back. “I better get the nurse.”

“Wait.” She held onto him.

“Your parents are here. They’re anxious to see you.”

Her parents. That was good and bad. She’d be happy to see them, but not to explain what had happened.

She still wasn’t sure exactly what
had
happened. “Not yet. Just…wait.”

He sat back down in the chair he’d fallen asleep in. “Your prognosis is good. You’ll be back in the field in no time.”

She didn’t even want to think about going back in the field. “Izala’s dead, right?”

“I sort of blew him up. Or God did. Depends on your perspective.”

More to that part of the story as well.
“I’m good either way, as long as he can never hurt anyone else. He wanted to add you to his collection. Just like me. I was a trap to get to you. He said he had diplomatic friends who helped get him into the country, a tie to Homeland as well. We should get my boss on it.”

“Always the spy.” Jax shook his head. “After all you’ve just been through, that’s what you want to talk about?”

“Did they find Commander Pierce?”

He rolled his eyes, but answered her. “Izala’s men are scrambling without him and Al-Safari. It’s rumored one of the other Moroccan 5 is trying to take over, but our team found a deserter and he’s talking. They’ve pinpointed the Commander’s whereabouts. He should be home by 0800 tomorrow.”

What a relief. “And Beatrice and the others? They’re okay, too? Elliot?”

“They’re all fine. Elliot’s recovering well at the clinic, Dan’s expected to get out of the hospital tomorrow and Zeb’s taking care of Woodstock. Elliot’s being cleared of the traitor charges as we speak. Beatrice and Cal are on their way back to DC. Her midwife mentioned she knew a way to stimulate labor by pressing a spot on the bottom of Beatrice’s foot. Sounds wacko to me, but Beatrice was all over that.”

“Wow. Is that possible?”

“Hunter said he’d heard about the technique, so who knows? He’s going back with her and Cal. Can’t hurt to try some nontraditional medicine at this point, I guess.”

“You’re a good doctor, Jaxon Sloan.”

“I will be.” He let out a deep sigh. “Possibly. In the future.”

She lifted a brow. “You’re going back into medicine?”

He shrugged. “Depends.”

“On what?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yep.” He nodded. “If you’re going back into the spy business, then I’m signing up to be your bodyguard. Permanently. You know, if you’ll have me. With Hayden out of commission, you can’t go tromping off all over the world without someone to save your ass.”

“Hey, I’ll have you know I did a fine job of taking care of myself…”

He held up a hand. “You poisoned yourself on this last go around, hotshot, after you were taken hostage by a known terrorist.”

He had her there.

“You may be the Agency’s top spy, but that’s because you take too many risks. Your luck was bound to run out. You go back to it, fine, but I’m going with you, one way or another. I’ll have Beatrice contract me out.”

She was far from the CIA’s top agent anymore. Maybe Timms and the FBI would find a spot for her working counterterrorism.

The thought of working for Timms sent a shudder through her.

Maybe she’d tackle something new. She had plenty of field experience, she could train operatives, or even recruit new ones to the Colonel’s secret army—if he was still speaking to her.

She had a lot to think about. It appeared Jax had been doing some thinking about this future too. “I’m not going back in the field for a while. Maybe never. I don’t know yet.”

“I’ve heard through the company grapevine that the Colonel has some plans for you that I think you’ll like. I just want to clarify that I support whatever you decide. As long as I’m in the picture.”

Well, wasn’t that interesting? Both that her boss was making plans for her and that Jax wanted to be in her world, no matter what those plans were.

“Let’s get back to you,” she said. “You’ve got the itch for medicine again, for real?”

“Well…here’s the deal. I want to be wherever you are. But, yeah, I want to finish my education and get licensed. It won’t take much, Beatrice already looked into it. But you come first, Ruby.”

Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “I’m not sure I understand.”

“I’m pretty sure you do.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Spell it out for me, big guy. I want to hear the words.”

“Jesus, woman, you’re a ball buster.”

“You love it. Now define what
you come first
means in Jax Sloan terms.”

He shifted his weight, looked around. “I kinda forced this whole situation on you and Hayden, and it backfired big time. I’m not forcing anything else. Our future—and I do want us to have a future—is going to be up to you. Beatrice wants a doctor on staff and I’m the most likely candidate, but you call the shots on what happens with us, and I’ll…”

His gaze dropped to the bed, to their intertwined fingers.

“You’ll follow?” She chuckled. “You’re a control freak, Jax. You’ll never be happy letting me call all the shots. And, yes, I want a future with you too, but…”

Now she was the one who couldn’t finish.
Dammit
.

Why was it so hard to talk to this man. He’d saved her life, more than once if she guessed correctly. He obviously loved her, and she loved him.

“For God’s sake, Jax, just say it. Say the words I need to hear.”

He closed his eyes for a second, rubbed his knuckles along his jawline.

Her pulse did another jump, the monitor behind her head jumping along with it. Jax opened his eyes and frowned at her. “You’re stressing.” He started to rise, pull away. “Are you in pain? I’ll get the nurse. It’s time for your morphine.”

Tightening her grip, she yanked him back toward her. He lost his balance and ended up falling onto the bed, catching himself so he wouldn’t smash her.

“Jaxon,” she said, “I fucking love you, and I want to hear that you love me too.”

A cocky grin. His eyes lit with mischief. “That’s some fine swearing there, Agent McKellen.”

He was going to be the one who needed pain meds if he didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear. She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and jerked his face close to hers, ignoring the break-through pain in her ribs. “Say it.”

He set his elbows on either side of her face, peering down at her with that heart-melting grin of his, and gently stroked her hair. “I love you, Ruby.”

“About time you admitted it.”

He kissed her then, a soft peck against her lips. “I’ve screwed up a lot of things in my life, I don’t want to screw this up too.”

“Ditto. And honestly, being perfect is too damn much work.”