Fatal Ties: An Urban Fantasy Novel (The Lillim Callina Chronicles Book 7) (15 page)

I
leapt sideways
, barely managing to pull Thes’s broken body out of the way as a flaming chunk of Yggdrasil crashed down in front of our hidey hole and sealed us within. Smoke choked my lungs as darkness spread across the land, and I knew, just knew, we were all going to die, and not in the, everyone on the planet was about to die sort of way.

No, we were about to die in the burning to death sort of way, which wasn’t exactly how I wanted to go out. Especially since it seemed like we might actually win. I wasn’t sure if Nidhogg had been stopped in time, but as I watched him get sucked inside himself through the cracks in the flaming wood, I had to hope he had been. If not, well, I didn’t want to think about it.

Still as the world tree burned to ash all around me, a sinking feeling filled my stomach. Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

As that thought tickled my brain, a hand burst through the burning wood and grabbed my arm. Time seemed to slow as I was pulled past the raging fire and out into fresh air. The flames flickered so slowly, I didn’t even feel them burn me even though I should have. I tried to turn, to grab Thes’s body still slumped in the alcove and pull him to safety, but before I could, I found myself standing in midair.

“Lillim,” Caleb, my boyfriend, said. His voice was full of sorrow as he wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me to him. In the middle of the madness, it felt like coming home.

I cried out even though I didn’t mean to as his muscular chest made my broken ribs grind against each other in a way they never should have been able to.

Instantly, his touch softened. It was almost as though he knew I was hurting and wanted more than anything to stop it.

“Caleb,” I wheezed. Everything inside my chest hurt, but not quite as much as I thought it should have. All around me darkness flickered and seethed, like it was waiting for something to happen, to let it take everything. “You came.”

“Don’t be stupid. Of course I did,” he whispered, putting his forehead against mine as he trailed one hand down my cheek. His touch was warm enough to cause tingles to skip across my spine and my knees to go weak. “Sorry, I couldn’t come sooner.” A pained look crossed his face. “I wanted to come, but I was trying to save the world.”

“I guess I’ll have to forgive you then,” I said, smiling because even after all this time, being with him was still kind of like a dream. Through everything, I still wanted Caleb. Sure, I flirted with other guys sometimes, maybe harbored a feeling or two I shouldn’t, but at the end of the day, Caleb was mine, I was his, and that was worth living for.

“Good.” He kissed me hungrily, and the taste of him was like strawberries and sunshine. My heart pounded in my chest as he ran his hands along my back, digging them into me with a fury only the end of a separation could bring about. I tried to cry out, though if it was from pain or pleasure, I couldn’t be sure. He kissed me even harder and his need was overwhelming, almost like he’d never get to do it again. The thought made my blood turn to ice water in my veins. He probably wouldn’t.

“Caleb,” I wheezed when he finally broke away. Blood trickled from his nose as he looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. “What’s going on?”

“We lost,” he replied, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. “We tried to stop Death, tried to conquer it, but in the end, it proved too strong. The world will be unmade.” He took a deep breath, and as he did, blue flames licked across his skin. It only lasted an eye blink, but it’d happened.

“Are you stopping time?” I asked, unable to process what he’d really said. There’s no way we could lose, not after everything. We’d stopped the dragon hadn’t we? Wait… was this what Thes had worried about? Why he’d told me to sacrifice Connor? Only Connor wasn’t dead. The dragon was dying, but Connor was okay, wasn’t he?

“Yes,” Caleb said and kissed me again. This time there was more force in it, more hunger, and more sorrow. I pulled him into me. This might be the last time I ever got to kiss him. If that was the case, It had better be the best kiss of all time.

“Do you trust me?” I asked as he pulled away. The vessels in his eyes had burst, and the smell of cooking meat filled my nose, but the feel of him was the same. He was still Caleb, and he was here. That was worth something. He was combusting under the strain of stopping time, but he wouldn’t tell me that. I knew anyway because I’d seen it happen before. Hell, I’d felt it happen before.

“More than anything.” He smiled and for what seemed like the first time in forever, I watched his smile reach his eyes. “Actually, more than anything I want to live, but yeah.” His lips peppered my face with kisses. “I wish I had a thousand years. Do you know that? I wish I had a thousand years so I could spend them all with you. I love you.”

“Trust me then. Let go of time,” I replied, meeting his lips with mine. “I know it seems impossible, but I think I know how to win.”

“Okay,” he said and there was a surprising amount of hope in his voice. He believed me. Even when we were facing the end of all things, he believed I could save us. It was more than I could have asked for.

Our lips met again, and as they did, I felt time spring back into place, felt the world erupt around us. Darkness filled the whole of the world, covering everything, and as it did, Connor stepped out of it. He stalked toward us, the molten blades of Shirajirashii in his hands as a blanket of white fire fell across the sky. As it descended toward us, Yggdrasil burned. The rocky cavern above disintegrated, everything turned to dust. The whole of the sky was fire.

“Lillim, what’s going on?” Connor cried as he rushed toward us, a shroud of darkness enveloping him. He stopped a few feet away and even though it was totally the wrong place for it, grinned at me. “I’m guessing this is the really tough boyfriend you always claimed would beat me up, eh?”

“Connor,” I cried, barely resisting the urge to smack him. “Can you stop this?” I gestured toward the all-consuming fire.

“I don’t know.” He shut his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, Connor wasn’t home. “Yes. It can be stopped if we hurry.”

“Is that who I think it is?” Caleb asked, but I smacked him in the chest. Now wasn’t the time for introductions.

“Your people call me Nanashi,” Connor said, turning toward my boyfriend because apparently we
did
have time for introductions. “Take me to War and Death. I can stop them.”

“How?” Caleb asked, and I wanted to hit him. What did it matter how? The goddamned world was ending. If we had any chance at all, we had to take it.

“I will take them with me to the void. They cannot unmake us there.” He opened his mouth to say more, but wound up shaking his head violently. Connor smacked himself in the forehead with the Set’s pommel.

“Get out of my head,” he cried, turning toward me, and as he did, he tried to smile. It was a brittle, fragile thing.

“Can it be done, Connor?” I asked, and as I said the words, the look on his face told me it could.

“I think so, yeah, but I can’t do it.” He swallowed hard. “I’m not a hero, Lillim. I can’t do it. It’s one thing to play Superman when you can’t die. It’s another to do it when you can.”

“Being a hero is overrated,” I replied, stepping away from Caleb and grabbing Connor’s wrists. I was almost amazed it had worked because I’d half expected to tumble into the darkness below but whatever Caleb had done to make me float in the air worked even when I wasn’t touching him.

“I don’t want to die,” Connor told me, and I believed him with everything in me.

“You won’t die,” I lied. “I spoke to Thes.” I shook my head. “Not this one. The Thes from the future. He told me you win.”

“I do?” he asked, and I could tell he didn’t believe me. He wanted to believe me, but he just didn’t.

“Do you think I’d lie to you, Connor?” I asked, and as I did, I pressed my body against his. “Please,” I whispered into his ear. “You’re the only one who can do this. I believe in you.”

Connor kissed me, and I let him even though my boyfriend was standing right there. Well, he’d have to get over it. Maybe he saw me gesturing for him to stay back. Maybe he just trusted me. Hell, maybe he liked it. I have no idea why Caleb didn’t move, but I thanked anyone who would listen for it.

The feel of Connor’s lips on mine was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. This wasn’t staring into the abyss and knowing it looks back. No, this was tongue kissing the abyss and feeling it worm its way inside you. And I stood there and took it. When he pulled away from me, his eyes were hard and my soul was tarnished. One of us would have to live with that.

“I know you’re lying to me,” he said, and I reached up and brushed his hair out of his face.

“I’m not.” I replied, pressing my forehead against his the same way I’d done to my boyfriend when the world ended. “When you come back, we can do even more.”

“Now I know you are lying,” Connor said, turning away and looking at Caleb. My boyfriend’s hands were in such tight fists blood dripped from the palms of his hands. “Take me to Death, please.”

“With pleasure,” Caleb growled, reaching out and grabbing Connor’s shoulder. Something about the way he did it, struck me as pleased in a combined “wrath of an angry god” and “jealous boyfriend” sort of way. It made me feel like the worst person on the planet. I’d hurt him, and for all I knew, this might be the last time we saw each other. Why couldn’t we have left it at our kiss instead?

I already knew the answer, and judging by the look on Caleb’s answer, so did he. Duty. It was sad in every sense of the word, and as I debated reaching out to him anyway, the two of them disappeared in a flash of blue fire.

As the flicker of blue fire faded from my vision, the ground went out from under me, and I fell, striking the burning bark of Yggdrasil and collapsing into the alcove where Thes’s body lay.

The flames overhead inched closer, eating through reality with every second. I hoped Connor could do it. I believed Nanashi, but at the same time trusting my fate to Connor seemed crazy. Either way, I was sure he wouldn’t come back, and I knew that was my fault. I knew Thes wouldn’t forgive me, either. This was why he’d been willing to sacrifice me because any moment he was going to wake up and realize what I’d done, and while one day, he’d come back in time and realize this had to be done, that wouldn’t happen for a long while. No, this Thes was going to hate me.

And the sad thing was?

The truly sad thing was if it saved the world…

I’d do it again.

In a heartbeat.

A
s I stared
up at the slowly descending wall of fire, my chest began to burn like it was on fire. I grabbed the collar of my fighting suit and pulled the fabric down to get a better look. The spot where Mattoc had burned Apep’s sigil into my flesh was glowing with pale silver light.

I touched it without thinking, and as I did a surge of strength rippled through me. Not a lot, but enough to ease my aching ribs and let me suck in a deep breath. It felt like it’d been forever since I’d done so and something about that simple act cleared my thoughts. I needed to get moving.

Above, the world tree still burned and flames still fell from the sky. While I wasn’t sure if Connor would pull it off, I damned sure didn’t want to get caught in that blaze. It was one thing for them to stop whatever was causing the world to dissolve and quite another to let it dissolve me. Besides, it seemed painful, and if I could avoid it happening, I wanted to do that.

“You awake, Thes?” I asked, glancing at him. His chest was rising and falling too quickly for it to be good. His breaths were far too shallow. Still, I couldn’t leave him here to dissolve. I mean, I knew he survived, but then again, maybe he survived because I didn’t let him get dissolved. Damned time travelers. On that note, who the hell uses a DeLorean to time travel? That car had to be the worst idea in the history of bad ideas.

I shut my eyes and focused for a second. Power surged all around me, whipping itself up into a frenzy as the world came undone. I reached out to it, trying to draw some of it in me. It was hard work, far harder than it should have been. Fire, after all, is destruction, and I was trying to steal its fuel. It was one greedy bastard, but I was Lillim Callina, and I was as stubborn as a half-deaf mule.

My eyes snapped open as a surge of liquid fire filled my veins. I grabbed Thes and threw him over my shoulder in a fireman’s carry before lashing him around me with a harness of pure energy. It was no mean feat because he was like two feet taller than me, and weighed a lot more than I did. All those muscles add up. I was just thankful he wasn’t in wolf form. If he was, I don’t know how I’d have balanced, let alone carried him.

The fire was close enough for me to feel it on my skin. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t hot, rather it was cold. Like instead of burning everything in its path, it simply leeched everything out of the world. It was like putting my hand next to aching, insatiable hunger and knowing it’d consume me without a second thought.

I grabbed Yggdrasil’s burning roots and began making my way downward. I wasn’t fast, not even close to as quick as the fire. I didn’t know what’d happened to the people above ground, but at the moment, I didn’t care. My only goal was to move as far down the world tree as I could before I was eaten by flames.

As I scrambled downward, gripping the roots with my bare hands, their thin ridges sliced into my palms. My hands started to bleed, but I ignored the pain as best I could. My chest still burned with every breath I took, but just when the pain got too much for me, the sigil on my chest would flare to life. When it happened, it was so bright, it actually shown through the dark material of my fighting suit, which was somewhat nice because it was getting darker.

The flames drew closer, and as they did, they seemed to suck the light from around me rather than cast it in the way fire ought to do. Then again, these weren’t normal flames, and there was nothing I could do but run.

Only, maybe it wasn’t all I could do. Maybe it wasn’t all I could do by a long shot. Something about those flames felt familiar although I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. The sigil on my chest pulsed again, and as I looked down at it, I could almost have sworn I heard Mattoc’s voice.

“Enter the flames. Quell its hunger.”

That didn’t make sense. How could I quell the flames’ hunger? Still, it wasn’t like I had other options. I reached for the power radiating from the sigil. As I did, I felt Mattoc’s hands wrap around mine, felt a burst of confidence fill me. I knew it was impossible. Mattoc had ceased to exist, had sacrificed himself to help me defeat Crom Cruach. Only this felt real. Besides, if I couldn’t trust the voices in my head, who could I trust?

I dropped Thes into the next alcove I found. Then I did what I was told. I leapt into the fire. Hitting it was like cutting open the ice above a glacial lake and leaping inside. It froze me to the core of my being, rent me nearly limb from limb with cold. My flesh began to dissolve, began to come apart, and as it did, the heart of the hunger throbbed like a living breathing thing. It was so empty, so desperate to sate itself that it would consume us all, and the truly sad thing was, it wouldn’t be enough. Not by a frigging longshot.

Even though it was impossible and crazy, I reached out toward that heart of hunger. As my power touched it, I felt it turn to look at me. And I knew it.

This was Ian. We’d only spoken briefly, and he’d barely meant anything at the time. Just another lost soul tormented by too much power and too much responsibility. Only, this was him and Haijiku and the whole of everyone I ever knew. It was everyone all at once and jumbled together and they were hungry. Their power pulled me into them, and as it did, I found myself staring out at oblivion through a pair of eyes that were not my own.

Caleb lay bleeding and broken on the ground of some void plane, some non-place. His blond hair was matted to his scalp with crimson and his eyes were closed.

My heart wrenched. I tried to reach for him, but I couldn’t. This was not my body to control. Still I tried, and still I failed. I had to get to him, to make sure he was okay, and I just couldn’t. An impotent cry tore from my lips as I struggled to help, to do anything, and found myself unable to do anything at all.

Connor stood next to him with the twin blades of Shirajirashii blazing in his hands like the sun and the moon. Apep rose up behind him, adding its power to the force of the destroyer. Set and Isis stood astride him. Them against the world, and it wasn’t enough. At least, not like this.

I stood in front of them in the body of a girl who looked familiar although I couldn’t have told you where I’d seen her. Only I knew her power. Ian knew her power. She was a horseman of the apocalypse. She was War, only she was not
just
War. She was also Death and Conquest and Famine. In this moment, she was everything and everyone. She hungered and in her hunger, she raged.

It was terrifying because she didn’t want this. She was trying to stop it, to quell the hunger, but it was like trying to sweet talk a black hole and knowing it didn’t give a handful of warm shit as to whether or not you lived or died. This was not how the world should end, not at the hands of complete and utter indifference.

“Stop,” Connor said, and as he spoke, the sky came undone in a sea of black flame and ice burst from the ground like a crystalline geyser.

“I’m trying,” War replied and her voice wasn’t just hers. “I can’t.”

I believed her because I was in her. Something was doing this. Something dark and angry. Something that knew only pain. Something that found solace only in death. And not the little death. No, the greedy, end of all things death.

“I know,” Connor replied, shaking his head. “But I had to ask. You always have to ask.”

He drove the twin blades of Shirajirashii into her, and I felt them puncture me. Felt the pain of his power ripple through me. War’s face twisted into a mask of agony as he twisted the swords and spilled her entrails onto the ground.

I felt the greedy death reach out of her as it happened. A tentacle of green lightning grabbed onto something within Connor’s chest and pulled. I think I knew he was dead before he knew he was dead, and the sight of his lifeless body, nearly unmade me. Yes, I’d known he had to die, but I’d expected his death to matter, to change things. Right now, it seemed like Thes was wrong. Connor would die and the world would still end. Connor’s death was less than a footnote in history. How could that be? It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t cost this much to just be a damned footnote!

As her blood and guts spilled onto her feet, Connor’s lifeless body collapsed backward. His soul writhed in the tentacle’s grip, struggling for all the good it would do. Green veins wriggled up across Connor’s soul, and I realized the greedy death was trying to absorb him, absorb the destroyer. I wasn’t sure if that was possible.

“No!” I cried and Shirajirashii pulsed within War’s torso. I wasn’t sure how, but I could feel them, could feel them struggling. They blazed, still sunk deep within her, still crackling with energy.

Connor’s soul started to dissolve, and as it did,
I
reached out for
my
swords. They were mine, and
I
would wield them. Energy surged around me, suddenly hostile and angry. I felt it pushing on me, thrusting me forward.

War’s hands fell to the hilts of the swords. The air around me sizzled as I touched Shirajirashii with her hands, and instead of jerking the twin blades of Shirajirashii free, I drove them deeper into her. The sigils along the swords blazed white hot, burning through her flesh and casting a blazing ouroboros onto the horseman.

“I won’t ask you to stop,” I said, pulling all the godly might I could through those weapons and unleashed it at her. Shirajirashii shattered, unleashing everything in a catastrophic explosion. The blast caught her full on, flinging her backward in a spray of gore, but it had been enough to get Connor free. His soul slipped from the tentacle’s clutches as she toppled to the ground.

Connor’s soul flitted through the air for a split second before diving straight into her. It hit her center mass, driving her deep into the white of the void. Then I was falling away.

“Connor!” I cried as the white shattered, melting away like sheets of ice in an inferno. The world lay behind it, fresh and new, and yet old and familiar.

“It’s done,” Thes said from behind me, and as I turned toward him, I realized I was back in the alcove where I’d leapt into the flames. Only this wasn’t the unconscious Thes. No, this was jerk-face toga Thes. “I’m not sure how you did it.” He took a deep breath. “But I’m glad you did.”

“What do you mean it’s done?” I asked, but before he could respond, I saw the white all-consuming fire that had shrouded the whole of the planet lift from the horizon. I saw everything returning back to how it had been, and while I couldn’t have said how I knew it to be true, I knew everything was going to be okay.

Well, maybe not okay, but at least how it was before the entire world had turned to ash. We had won. A costly victory, sure, but a victory nonetheless. So why didn’t it feel like one? I almost asked future Thes, but as I turned my gaze back to him, I realized he was gone.