Fate Forgotten (44 page)

And then it was gone. Washed over, washed out, wiped away as if it had never happened, and she clung to the present, the memory of Horus’s identity, struggled to keep it. “I’m sorry, Eve,” she heard him say, as even that last memory slipped from her grasp and exhaustion overtook her, “the balance of power already shifts too easily.”

Eve slept in peace for the first time in weeks. She dreamed of the Garden. The angels with the white wings. Michael the protector, Gabriel the messenger, and Raphael the healer, with his grandfather’s eyes. And then she dreamed of nothing at all.

Chapter Forty-two: Future

Adam jittered the entire flight, going over the conversation he’d had with the god over and over again in his mind. Thor had told him where he could find Eve, though Adam hadn’t asked, and he wished he had the god’s ability to teleport. To arrive immediately on her doorstep. Thor had snorted and suggested a jet would give him time to sober up. He couldn’t deny that he needed it.

If Thor knew she was pregnant, it was only a matter of time before the archangels did, and Adam was determined to be there before Michael thought of arriving. Thor had assured him that he had a significant head start, but the god was drunk, and Athena had arrived not long after to take him away, in the company of another large god with such a striking resemblance Adam thought he must be some relative of Thor’s. Maybe a brother.

They were both grim, almost as upset as Thor appeared to be, though whether it was the godchild to come which they feared, or Thor’s own distress, thick and dark and twisted, he didn’t know. Eve’s choice had clearly astonished and wounded the god, but Adam wondered if she would have made the same decision if she had known her Thorgrim lived. Not that it mattered, now. Thor had made his choices, as Eve had, and Adam didn’t have time to pity him.

When he did finally arrive in Montreal, and pulled up to the small house on the outskirts of the city, Adam double checked the address. He could feel nothing of Eve inside the place, shaded by two immense maple trees, but he had felt nothing of her for some time, so it didn’t mean much. He knocked on the door and waited.

The man with the bushy eyebrows and love of chewing tobacco opened the door, and then grunted. “You.”

He smiled, trying to remain polite. “May I speak with Renata?”

“Hmph.” The man shut the door again.

If it was a yes or a no, Adam couldn’t tell. Just as he was about to knock again, the door opened and Eve was standing before him.

She didn’t exactly frown, and he knew on some level she was happy to see him, pleased, but not entirely. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I had to come.” He stepped forward and touched her face, caressing her cheek. Her eyes closed for just a moment longer than a blink, and then opened again. He kissed her forehead. “I won’t let you face him alone.”

She shook her head and pulled his hand from her face, stepping forward and closing the door behind her. “This, none of this, is your fault. One way or another. That’s part of why I left. Don’t you understand? I don’t want you to be blamed or punished.”

He almost laughed, but it was too awful. “I’m supposed to be protecting
you
, Eve.”

“I don’t want you to lose your memory again. I don’t want you to lose this, who you are, who you’ve become.” She was still holding his hand, and she looked down at their twined fingers. “You’ve changed so much.”

“Let me stay.” It wasn’t what he had meant to say, but he knew it was right. She could make him leave, if she chose to. Could force him to turn from her and get back on a jet. He would never underestimate her power or strength again. That she hadn’t used it before now, when he had caused her so much trouble, so much pain, was perhaps just as astounding to him.

“We can’t be together, Adam. Not until we know. And even then—”

“I know.”

She looked up at his tone, frowning slightly. “Then why did you come?”

He sighed. “Eve.” He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. He couldn’t explain, but she had to know. If Thor could see it in her, she had to be able to see it in herself. “Evey, you’re going to have my baby. Michael is going to come. I don’t know when. And I’m not leaving you to face him alone.”

“How do you know?” She swallowed, and he could feel her in his mind, feeling the truth of his words. That he believed what he was saying. Her face paled. “How are you so sure? I don’t even know yet.”

“I just know, Eve. You have to trust me. Or if you don’t, at least let me stay. You’ll have all the proof you need soon enough.”

“Here? You think he’ll come here?”

He nodded, letting his hands slip from her face to her shoulders, to her arms. “He told me I’d see him again in this life. That I wouldn’t like what he had to say. I think he knew. I think God knew.”

“But you didn’t force me. I made sure.”

“If I hadn’t wanted you so badly, hunted for you, tried to become someone that you could love, this never would’ve happened. It’s still my fault, Eve. I knew what I was doing.”

She pulled away and shook her head impatiently. “You couldn’t have touched me if I hadn’t let you. Not now. It doesn’t matter.” Her hand went to her stomach. “What are we going to do?”

“I’m going to take care of you. Marry you, if you’ll let me.”

She looked up, her eyes wide. “Marry me? Adam, even if I’m pregnant now, and we have this child, there’s no guarantee that we can have anything more than that. This nine months will be a gift, but after that? We’d just be risking the world all over again. Another pregnancy, another godchild, if by some miracle this one doesn’t destroy us.”

“You don’t know that. We don’t know what happens next.”

“No, we don’t know.” Sorrow washed over her and she turned away. “There might be nothing left of us, of the world, of Creation.”

He said nothing. There was nothing to be said that wouldn’t make her feel worse. They had both known the risks. But he pulled her into his arms and held her. His Eve. They had come so far, and the idea that it could end was incomprehensible. God lived. Couldn’t God save the world? It wasn’t as though this child had been conceived for the purpose of destruction. Michael had made sure of that. There had to be a chance, a way, somehow, that the world would go on. That this baby wouldn’t be the end of all things. Or why else would God have ever made it possible? But to have Eve so completely for nine months, and then be forced to give her up, if the world went on, for fear of a second child, or what the next baby might be. For fear that between them, they might birth an entire pantheon of gods…

It would be worse than everything else. Harder. They’d only had the smallest taste of what it could be, this love, this union, but to know fully, and then lose her—it would ruin them both. All the more so if Eve lost this child, too. “Maybe you’re right.” He hated himself for saying it, hated the truth of it all. And hadn’t he cursed Thor for the same thing? For seducing her and then leaving her to stumble on alone? “Maybe we shouldn’t marry. Maybe the best thing would be for me to stay away altogether. Maybe it won’t hurt as much, that way.”

She hid her face against his shoulder.
I hate this.

He kissed the top of her head. “I know.”

I want us to be a family. I want to be with you. But why does it all have to be laced with pain?

He sighed.
So we can appreciate fully the good things, maybe. Every moment we have together without grief is a gift, even if knowing it has to end is a misery.

The misery of an end, looming over them both.

“No,” Eve said. “If this is all the time we have, if we have until the baby is born before the world ends, I won’t give it up. And if the world survives, I won’t give you up now, when I might have no choice but to leave you later.”

Are you sure, Evey?

She pulled back to meet his eyes, her hands fists in his shirt. “Why should we, if this is all we can have? If we can have this much, together? We’ve wasted so much time already, and if this is God’s plan or if the world is going to end, I don’t want to waste anymore. Not another day that I could spend in your arms, in your bed, in love and living as myself.”

The truth was, he wanted it too. Even if it was only a taste. Even if it couldn’t last. He dropped his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, breathing her in, with all her strength, and all her determination, and all her love. So, so much love, fierce and impossible to contain.

It was everything he wanted, to be with her, to have her as his own. To be hers. What the cost would be, he didn’t know, couldn’t even begin to imagine. But if Eve believed it was worth it, he couldn’t bring himself to argue.

“For as long as you’ll have me, I’m yours,” he promised her. But he didn’t tell her the rest. After all, there was no knowing what Michael had meant by demanding he give up all claim to the child. There was no knowing at all what would happen after the baby was born, though he could not help but to feel Eve’s hope that they might be allowed the luxury of a family. That this had been God’s plan, all along.

And it would be better for both of them if she had a reason to hate him when it was over.

He bought her a ring. Nothing extravagant, nothing particularly expensive. A simple platinum band for her finger without stones or filigree and the same, only thicker, for himself. They exchanged vows without witnesses. Or without witnesses she was aware of. He felt the weight of Thor’s presence as he promised to love and honor her above all others, and knew if he didn’t keep his word the god would come.

And then he bought her father’s tobacco shop, too, with Asgardian gold, and for five times what it was worth, before he took Eve away. To France first, to her mountains, though they didn’t stay longer than it took for Adam to make arrangements for a real honeymoon—a round-the-world airship cruise. Part of him hoped traveling would make it that much harder for Michael to find them, and the rest of him only wondered why the Archangel hadn’t come already.

He should have. If not on Adam’s heels, at least after the first month. They were in Australia by then, and Eve had begged him to take her into the outback.

“I’m not certain you should risk the snakes and spiders,” he said, pulling her into his lap. They were in their suite still, overlooking the ocean. He’d have to remember to ask for a suite on the other side of the ship next time, all they’d seen so far was ocean, glistening blue in the sun, and flat, battleship gray without it. Even if it didn’t keep Michael from finding them, it had certainly distracted Eve, and Adam was determined to spoil her. Anything she wanted now—it was the least he could do to make up for what came next. And as husband and wife, they were bound to one another, joined by God, at least for this life. It would make it that much harder for either of them to move on, if everything fell apart.

Eve smiled. “You’re not
really
worried about the wildlife?”

He let his hand slip across her stomach. “Shouldn’t you be?”

She covered his hand with hers, the smile fading. “I think it’s a girl.”

“So you believe me?” he asked softly, searching her face. She hadn’t let him touch her for weeks, waiting until she was certain. He hadn’t pressed her, though he ached for more than just the comfort of sleeping beside her.

“I had to be sure,” she said, staring at her own stomach. “But I hate the waiting, Adam. I feel as though I’m always looking over my shoulder. Every flicker of movement in the corner of my eye is Michael, coming for me with his sword.”

He stroked her cheek. “Even if he still had it, he’d have to go through me first.”

“You say that, but it isn’t what I want. This was my choice, and whatever punishment he brings should be mine, too.”

Brave, selfless Eve. He kissed her, soft and slow, until she sighed against his lips, her whole body forming to his. “Let’s skip the spiders and snakes for today.”

She laughed. “You’re the one who told me they’d all been made to serve us.”

“You, maybe.” And then he kissed her again, until she’d forgotten about the outback and all its charms. Until she forgot about Australia altogether. Because now that she was certain, there was no reason not to spend their days making love instead, and that was how he wanted her to remember these days.