Fated (5 page)

Eight

Kate showered and washed her hair, rushing through her routine because every minute that passed gave Nick more time to think about how he'd woken up alone—and more time to decide she wasn't worth any more effort.

She swallowed over the lump in her throat and pushed down the case of nerves developing inside her. Faith was right. Nick had gone all out to show her what she meant to him.

And Kate had thrown it back in his face. The more
she
thought about it, the worse she felt. She dried her hair quickly but before she had a chance to put on a light coating of makeup, her doorbell rang.

No doubt Faith decided she'd better make sure Kate didn't chicken out on her plans. “You could have just trusted me,” Kate said at the same time she swung open her door.

“Not until you give me a reason to trust you,” Nick muttered back.

“You!”

“Who else were you expecting?” he asked with an unhappy scowl on his handsome face. “Unless you don't think you owe me an explanation for why I woke up alone.” His voice rose and he didn't bother to contain his anger . . . Or his hurt.

She blinked at him, still stunned he'd shown up here. “Come inside,” she said, reaching for his hand. She didn't want her neighbors overhearing her personal drama.

He let her pull him into her place and shut the door behind him. He'd come right from a shower, his hair still slightly damp, razor stubble giving him a rougher than usual appearance.

But the hurt in his eyes was unmistakable and guilt rode her hard. “Of course I owe you an explanation. In fact, I was about to finish getting ready and come over.”

His gaze ran from her bare feet and legs to the short robe she'd hastily tied on. Male appreciation flared in his dark eyes before he pulled his attention off her body.

Wariness settled in his gaze as he clearly refocused on the present. “I'm listening.”

Her mouth grew dry. Thinking about telling him her feelings and actually doing it were two different things. He'd yet to lay it on the line in words, but he'd certainly begun with actions. Now it was her turn.

She still held his hand and tugged him towards the couch. He sat down and she chose to sit right next to him, curling one leg beneath her.

“When I woke up, I was disoriented at first. The only thing that registered was how warm and happy I was. How peaceful. I thought, wow, I could get used to waking up feeling like this.”

His expression softened and she continued.

“Then I opened my eyes and saw you there. Asleep. And I panicked.” She glanced down, embarrassed by her actions.

Nick watched her closely. She seemed fragile and tense, every word drawn from the deepest places inside her. Which meant he was getting the truth. At last.

“I realized I was in your bed and I'd just been linking you to all these intensely deep feelings that maybe you didn't really want. So I did what I thought most men would want after a one-night stand.” She didn't meet his gaze. “I left.”

“One night stand my ass,” he muttered, squeezing her hand. “As soon as I realized you were gone, I thought about how I should have laid my feelings out for you before I took you to bed.”

She shook her head. “I'm not sure words would have done it,” she admitted. “I don't think I was ready to hear it. I sure wouldn't have let myself believe.”

“Why not?” he asked, more gently than she thought she deserved.

“Because I thought you liked the idea of a challenge. I mean, you haven't been serious with anyone outside of Faith. You went through women like they were interchangeable. And I'd been hurt by someone who'd used me. So I couldn't let myself believe you'd want me the way I wanted you.”

Her open vulnerability struck him like an arrow in the heart. He'd never wanted her to doubt his intentions but he realized now the problem was more about her than him.

“I can't change my past, but do you want to know why I didn't stick with any of those women?” he asked, tipping her chin up so he could look into her forest-green eyes.

She moistened her lips and it was all he could do to stifle a groan. “Why?”

“Because they weren't you.” He touched his forehead to hers. “It's not about Faith. It's never been about Faith. It's been about me finding the right person who just . . . fit.” He shifted and sat up, looking her head on. “Yesterday you said Faith was
it
for me. And she was.”

At his words, Kate visibly stiffened but he wouldn't let her run, emotionally or otherwise.

“Faith was it for me—in
high school
. And when she broke up with me, she bruised my ego. I guess she hurt my heart, but I was a guy and I didn't want to give it much thought. I wasn't about to believe a woman could hurt me, but she did. Then she left and went to college and I stayed and like you, I went to school here. I worked for my dad and learned the business. I dated but didn't get serious about anyone. Just like you said.”

He moved in close, pulling her against his chest. To his relief, she went easily, no longer fighting him, obviously listening.

Good thing, since this was where he made his case. “And all the while, you were here too, in the background. We were friendly but I was too blind to notice. I could kick myself for that, but it wouldn't change anything. Maybe I just wasn't ready to see.”

“Just like I wasn't ready,” she whispered.

He nodded, holding her against him, breathing in her sweet scent and wishing he could forget conversation and take her to bed. But at this moment, talk came first. Afterward? He hoped they never had to be apart again.

“But then . . .” And here's where it got tough, Nick thought. “Faith came back and . . . the feelings didn't.” He eased her away then and looked into her eyes. “Honest to God, Kate. Asking Faith out just seemed like the thing to do, to see if we could pick up where we left off. Maybe fix the old ego or something. And when Ethan went after her, it became more of a pissing contest than anything else. I'm not proud of it, but that's the truth.”

Kate studied him. She let herself look at his features, which she'd long since memorized, and into his eyes, which she knew never lied.

Real regret shone in them. He meant what he said. It wasn't about Faith. It hadn't been for a long, long time. And though Kate had told herself she knew that before he rang her doorbell, she had to admit it felt good to hear him say it now.

But there was still more they had to get out into the open. No more holding back the things that scared or hurt her, Kate thought.

“You kissed Faith.”

He nodded. “I did. I needed to prove to myself that there really was nothing there for me. So I could walk away, leave her to Ethan and not be hurt by it. Ego, pure and simple.”

Kate shook her head, amazed at the lightness inside her. “Men are such idiots,” she muttered and with a laugh, he agreed.

“But that kiss was a good thing because from that point on, it wasn't about Faith. It was about me opening my eyes to what's been in front of me all along. It's you, Kate. It's been you for a long time and I don't want you to ever doubt that it will
always
be you.”

The word hung between them, an enticement and an offer of something she'd been wanting but was too scared to let herself hope for, let alone have.

But this was Nick and he was different than any man she'd even known. And hadn't he now proven it? Sort of like the house he'd lovingly built and restored over a long period of time, putting thought and work into the effort, he'd done the same with her. Asking her out, not giving up or taking no for an answer, talking Faith into bringing her over, and now laying himself emotionally bare. For her.

“I don't see that ever changing,” he said and kissed her firmly on the lips. “Ever. I love you, Kate. If I wasn't such a guy I'd have known it and told you last night but when I woke up the first time with you in my arms, I knew.”

She sucked in a startled breath, blindsided by the last few minutes, awed, and so very happy. “I love you too,” she admitted, grateful to finally be able to say the words out loud. “And I'm sorry I ran this morning. I was scared so I pushed you away before you could do it first.”

“That never would have happened.”

She laughed out loud. “Lesson learned. I promise.”

He crooked a finger her way. “Sweetheart, come here.”

She didn't have far to go and she was in his arms where she belonged, kissing him until they tumbled backwards onto the couch.

“Just so you know, I'm not letting you get away from me again.”

“Sounds good to me.” She sighed, unable to believe she could be this happy.

“I know things have gone from zero to the speed of light, and we probably should take things slow, but I'm hoping you love me and my house enough to consider moving in one day?”

“Oh my God!” Could her heart fill any more? She stroked a hand down his cheek. “If we don't kill each other in the next phase of whatever this is, I think that could be arranged.”

Nick grinned and Kate knew—no matter how hard the road in getting here, she and Nick were definitely meant to be.

Carly Phillips returns to Serendipity, New York, with

PERFECT FIT

The first book in the Serendipity's Finest series, coming from Berkley in January 2013.

Here's a sneak peak!

Perfection was overrated, Mike Marsden thought, as he approached his childhood home. He arrived in time for dinner, just as he'd done every Sunday since his return to his hometown of Serendipity, New York, almost a month ago. Sunday evening meal at his parents' house was mandatory, and each of his siblings would be there. Nobody said no to Ella Marsden. And since Mike had been away for a half dozen years or so, his mother was especially glad to have him back, no matter how uncomfortable the notion of coming home made him.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and looked up at the white clapboard house with blue trim and matching shutters. Small but well kept, the two-story home on a residential street was as perfect on the outside as it was on the inside. Same as it was when he'd left for Atlantic City all those years ago. Maybe that was why he was itching beneath his skin now. The idea of perfection made him antsy. It always had. And despite wanting to please his parents, Mike was the kid who'd always tried their patience.

Impulse control issues, his teachers called it. Mike blamed heredity. He couldn't stick with one thing very long, be it his small hometown, a relationship, or a monotonous job. Simon Marsden, Mike's adopted father and the man who'd raised him, had been the police chief of Serendipity. Mike's brother, Sam, had followed in his footsteps, becoming a homegrown cop like his dad. Their sister, Erin, was the assistant district attorney to Serendipity's D.A.

And Mike? He liked his life, choosing his career as a New York City undercover cop, where he'd carved out a name for himself by skating the rules instead of strictly following them. He made sure his job, his women, and even his friends were easy enough to walk away from when the impulse arose. Never again would there be a repeat of a woman misinterpreting his intentions or expecting too much. He'd run from that strangled feeling once before, ending up in Atlantic City. He wasn't about to repeat past mistakes or risk what he knew was a genetic inability to stick around.

Yet here he was, back in his small hometown, having taken over his father's job as chief of police while his dad fought cancer. The doctors said it was treatable, and Mike forced himself to believe it. Coming home was the least he could do for the man who'd both raised him and treated him no differently than his biological children—even if Mike hadn't always deserved it. The situation was temporary while Simon recovered, or Mike didn't think he'd have been able to say yes to the position.

He knocked once and let himself inside, the smell of his mother's pot roast seducing his senses and making his stomach grumble.

“Michael, is that you?” his mother called from her post in the kitchen. When he was a kid, he'd thought she had a sixth sense that told her which child walked in the door, but as an adult he realized they each had their own arrival time and his mother intuitively knew their routine.

“It's me,” he yelled back, bending to give his parents' new dog, a small white fluffball that resembled a dust mop, a pat on the head, still marveling that they'd named the furry thing Kojak.

“Well, come give me a hug,” Ella called out, as if she hadn't seen him in ages. In reality, she'd stopped by the police station yesterday to say hello.

He grinned and his shoulders eased downward. The insecurities that always followed thoughts of perfection fled at the warmth in his mother's voice and the comforting smells of home.

“Come on, little man. Let's go say hi to Mom.” He headed for the kitchen, Kojak by his side.

Along the way he passed the family room, where his father lay snoring in his recliner, football game on the big-screen television he and his siblings had bought them for Christmas last year. Knowing Simon needed his rest, Mike let him sleep.

“Hey, Mom,” Mike said, entering the kitchen and giving her the requested hug before turning to the oversized pot on the stove. “Smells delicious.” He lifted the lid only to have his mother smack his hand with her wooden spoon.

“Hey! No sampling.” She waved her weapon in front of his face, a knowing smile lifting her lips.

Despite his father's illness, she'd managed to retain her cheery disposition, and if a few more lines creased her beautiful skin, it didn't affect her good looks at all. Wavy auburn hair curled naturally around her face, adding to her youthful appearance.

“Hey, family!” His sister Erin's voice sounded from the entryway.

“In here,” Mike called back, then winced because his father was sleeping.

“Dad's snoring,” Erin said, striding into the kitchen with a box in hand. “A hurricane couldn't wake him.”

“That's because I gave him a painkiller a little while ago. His back was hurting,” Ella said.

Mike pushed past the fear in his throat. The old man was strong. He would pull through. “What kind of cake did you bring?”

“Angel food. Dad's favorite.”

Of course. Erin was always the good girl, doing the right thing without being asked. Mike could barely remember to get himself someplace on time, let alone bring something with him.

His sister placed the white bakery box on the counter. “Hi, Mom,” she said, pecking her cheek. “Big brother.” She grinned and pulled him into a hug.

“Hey, pest.”

She nudged him in the ribs with her elbow. “Jerk.”

“Squirt.”

“Enough!” Ella yelled at them like they were naughty kids, and Erin laughed.

“It's just so easy to fall back into it.” She shook her head and grinned. Erin was a true mixture of both parents. Their mother's once-dark hair was now auburn with reddish highlights, and Erin's was naturally so with Simon's hazel eyes. Eyes that now danced with laughter. “So where's Sam?” she asked.

“Your brother isn't here yet.” Ella glanced at the clock on the oven and frowned. “He's late, and that's not like him. Is he working a shift today? Maybe he got held up.” She looked to Mike for the answer, since he was now his brother's boss.

“Not that I know of, unless he switched with someone.”

“Well, let's sit down in here for a little while and wait. Give your father some more time to sleep.” Ella gestured to the Formica table and they all grabbed a seat, same chairs they'd each eaten in growing up.

“How's Dad doing?” Erin asked. “You mentioned back pain?”

Ella nodded. “The doctor said he might try radiation this week instead of waiting until later on. It's supposed to shrink the tumor and help with the pain. But he's handling the chemo well enough. And his spirit is amazing,” she said with obvious pride.

“What about you?” Mike asked his mother, reaching for her hand.

She immediately waved him off. “I'm fine, Michael. I'm not the one who's sick.”

Mike shot his sister a knowing look. Their mother acted like Superwoman, stepping up and handling everything without complaint. Perfection personified, Mike thought. But he knew she had to be exhausted. He opened his mouth to argue that she needed rest too, but Erin shook her head, telling him to let it go.

Fine, he'd listen for now, but at some point his mother would have to give in and let someone else help her out for a change.

Suddenly the telephone rang, and Ella rose to answer it.

“Don't pressure her. She likes feeling needed,” Erin whispered as their mother spoke on the phone. “I'm coming over to sit with Dad one day this week so she can go get her hair done. Sam promised to play chess with Dad one afternoon this week. She's getting breaks.”

“Why didn't anyone ask me to help out?” he asked, too petulantly for his liking. The fact that he hadn't thought to relieve his mother had him feeling out of sorts and selfish. As usual, he'd fallen short compared to his siblings. So what else was new?

“We figured you had your hands full taking Dad's place and getting up to speed,” Erin said.

“It's been a month. I'm as up as I'm going to get. The rest depends on everyone accepting how I want to do things.” He'd have made time for his mother. He was about to say as much when Ella returned.

One look at her pale face and Mike shot to his feet. “What's wrong?” he asked, placing a bracing arm around her shoulder.

Erin came around her other side. “Mom?”

“Sam's been in an accident.”

Heart pounding hard in his chest, Mike eased his mother into the nearest chair. “What happened?”

“That was Cara,” she said of Sam's partner. “His car crashed into a tree. He's at University Hospital now.”

“Cara was with him?” Mike knew for a fact they weren't on duty today, but it wasn't surprising they were together. Those two made a mockery of the notion that men and women couldn't be just friends.

It was Mike who couldn't just be Cara's friend, not after an explosive one-night stand three months ago that he'd yet to get out of his head. “Are they both okay?”

“Cara sounded fine. Sam's being assessed,” his mother said, still trembling.

Mike swallowed hard. His mother's fear wasn't an easy thing to deal with, not when she was usually so strong. But she'd been hit with too many things at once lately.

“I need to go to your brother, but I can't leave your father. I don't want to drag him out there and put him under all that stress, around sick people and germs . . .”

This was something he could do to help. “I'll head over to the hospital,” Mike said, glancing at his sister.

She nodded. “And I'll stay here with you and Dad.”

“No.” Ella shook her head. “You go with your brother. You two should be together when you get news on Sam.”

Mike immediately thought of a solution. “I'll tell you what. I'll call Aunt Louisa to come over,” he said of his mother's sister who also lived in Serendipity a few streets away. “That way you and Dad won't be alone.”

“I don't want to be a bother to her.”

But Erin had already reached for the phone and begun dialing over their mother's objections.

A few minutes later, their aunt was on her way over while Mike and Erin headed for the hospital.

* * *

Officer Cara Hartley paced outside the emergency room, hoping for news on her partner and waiting for his family to arrive. She didn't know which members would come, given Sam's father's condition, but her gut told her his brother, Michael, would be one of them. As laid-back as he appeared, when it came to doing his job or caring for his family, the man was as take-charge alpha as they came.

He also liked control in the bedroom, something Cara knew only too well. She shivered at the reminder of one incredible night a few months ago when Mike had been home for the weekend visiting his father. He and Sam had shown up at Joe's Bar, they'd flirted, he'd bought her drinks, he'd walked her to her car, and the next thing she knew, she'd agreed to let him follow her home and take her—not just to bed but wherever he damn well pleased. He'd been phenomenal, bringing her to heights she'd only dreamed of and igniting a hunger that had fueled many fantasies in the months since.

“Dr. Nussbaum, please call extension fifty-three. Dr. Nussbaum, extension fifty-three.” The voice over the hospital loudspeaker broke into Cara's heated thoughts.

Although those sensual memories had been a welcome distraction from worrying about Sam, the last thing she wanted to be thinking about was the man who was now her boss. He'd completely rocked her world, but he hadn't mentioned it since his return. Granted, she hadn't brought up the subject either, but his complete refusal to acknowledge her as more than one of his officers grated her female pride. Even the few times they were alone, Mike had been abrupt and all business.

When he arrived, she had no doubt he'd want to talk about what she and Sam were doing on Route 80, heading back to Serendipity from the outskirts of town. They'd been looking into a cold case Mike had assigned to them and were just beginning to realize that the implications of their findings might affect Mike personally. She wouldn't share anything without Sam's permission. Not even with her boss. Hopefully he wouldn't push for information. If she had good news about Sam, maybe he wouldn't delve too deeply into where they'd been or why.

Suddenly the street doors swung wide and Cara caught sight of Mike, his dark hair longer than regulation for a cop, his leather jacket giving him a dangerous edge. During the week, he wore suits and ties when he had scheduled meetings, but Cara knew he preferred his beat-up leather and jeans to the stuffy boss clothing the job demanded.

Mike barreled through the lobby and headed straight for her, his sister right behind him.

“How's Sam?” Erin asked.

“What the hell happened?” Mike barked at Cara.

She straightened to her full height, which at five foot three wasn't much compared to his almost six feet. “We were in an accident, Chief.”

“Any news on Sam?” Erin asked.

Cara shook her head. “Not yet, but he was conscious when the ambulance brought him in.”

“I didn't have you two on the schedule today.” Mike pinned her with a steady stare.

Cara looked into his chocolate brown eyes, wondering how they could have been so sexy all those months ago and so cold and forbidding now. “And if you'll notice, I'm not in uniform. Your brother and I were out for a ride. It's a gorgeous day,” she said, hating the evasion that fell from her lips.

“Ease up,” Erin said, punching Mike in the arm. “She's not on duty and she's as worried about Sam as we are. And lay off the formalities. Cara's like family.”

Cara and Erin were the same age, and though they hadn't been best friends in school, they'd been in the same general group of girls, while Sam, a year older, had been a friend; it wasn't until they both joined the force together that their friendship solidified and Cara became more a part of the Marsdens' inner circle. By then, Mike had been long gone.