FATED (23 page)

After breaking apart, I was aware that my hips were moving into him trying to rub his cock. With a smile he moved me suddenly away and flipped me over onto my stomach. His tongue was now running up and down my back.

‘You need to rub on something, Frankie? Put one hand underneath you and find your clit, rock your pussy down onto your hand and fingers.’ I couldn’t refuse, so strong was the urge to come once more. The feeling of my hand in between my thighs was driving me insane. He was licking and biting places on me and just as that set in motion slight pain, I could feel him remove his teeth and lick my skin back to pleasure. My brain was mush. All I wanted was him. Moans and gasps left my lips; I tried biting down onto my bottom lip to contain some of my noises, but to no avail. I found myself in a rhythm, and I was rocking fast and hard into my hand.

‘Stop.’

‘Alex... I don’t think I can, please.’

‘Stop... The next time you cum it will be with me inside you.’

I slowed my hand but couldn’t remove it. Suddenly my backside was on fire as he had brought his hand down fast and hard on my bum cheek, only to then rub the sting away using his warm palm.

‘Remove your hand, Frankie; otherwise you will get no more of me.’

I really couldn’t chance that, as I felt I needed him more than I needed my next breath. I did as I was told and showed him my hand. He grabbed it immediately and commenced to suck and lick all remnants of my arousal off my fingers. It was so bloody arousing and captivating all at the same time. Our eyes met as he finished cleaning me up.

‘I want you, Frankie.’ He moved abruptly off the bed and pulled me down with him, until I was on my feet, bum in the air. My naked body was laid out on the edge of the bed at a right angle, I watched him retie both of my hands to the nearest bedpost and I knew at last he was going to actually give me all of him. I heard the rip of foil again.

‘Alex, we don’t need the condom, I put myself on the pill a few weeks ago.’ I had been waiting for it to become effective and finally that day was here. In fact I had been OK for about a week. But even after all that we had done, it was still embarrassing to actually own up and say I had started it, knowing I was coming to NYC. It was like admitting I was looking for sex. Tonight though I knew for some reason, he needed from me as much as I could give him, and for whatever reason that was I needed to give him everything I had.  My sudden statement was met with a few seconds of thoughtful silence.

‘Baby, you never cease to surprise me.’ His tone of voice was different when he spoke again. I felt him release my limbs.

‘What are we doing?’ I questioned as he picked me up in his arms and laid me gently back onto the bed.

‘I’ve never gone bare back with anyone... let alone the only woman I have ever loved. I need to make love to you now, not fuck you. Do you understand?’ He rested his forehead to mine and I nodded my head in understanding. I clung on to him, so enjoying the very basic pleasure of running my fingers and nails over and over his skin, feeling the sheen of sweat that covered him. Slowly he entered me. As normal he stopped and waited to check I was comfortable.

‘Fucking hell, I’ve never felt anything like this before, baby, you feel like soft, warm velvet...You are just made for me... feel it, Frankie!’ We started to make love. Staring into each other’s eyes, it was passionate and intense and we showed each other everything we felt between us.

‘I can’t hold it anymore, baby; the feeling is too fucking extreme... Come with me... NOW.’

Clinging hold of his back I could feel when he had reached the point of no return as he started to shake. The powerful tremors shook me to my core.

‘FUCK, baby...You are MINE.’

‘FUCKING HELL.’ As he exploded inside me I could feel his hot spurts hit the bottom of my cervix over and over again and it pushed me over the edge with him. I came, convulsing in his arms, and crying out his name.

‘Jesus Christ I love you, baby, that was fucking amazing.’ I could only agree by nodding my head. My ability to form coherent words had quite obviously left me, or had been fucked out of my system. I slowly began to fall asleep wrapped up in his arms, still wearing the pieces of voile around my wrists and ankles.  I didn’t care that the fabric was still tied on my bare flesh. I liked the way it felt.

I belonged to him.

I belonged with him.

I was his and he was mine.  

Thirty-Three

ALEX

The smell invading my nostrils is acrid. Couple that with the
hot, fucking dry air we’re breathing in, with every uncomfortable breath and the weight of my equipment bearing down on me. I knew it was going to be a long fucking day.  The men didn’t complain around me though and I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one who started it. We entered the small village and all of my senses seemed to turn on to full alert. I took stock of where we were all positioned and I waved them all on.

The sudden blinding flash and ear splitting noise on our right flank made me instinctively go to ground.

‘FUCK.’ I sat up and jumped out of bed almost in the same movement.

Where the hell was I?  Just breathe, breathe.

My heart rate was pounding. My body was covered in sweat and I fucking stank. The nightmare that was part of my past, once again had entered into my reality. I moved quickly towards the bathroom. I needed to wash the filth away from my body.

‘Alex?’ questioned a voice behind me.

Fucking hell!

I couldn’t answer her at the moment; I couldn’t even fucking look her way. So like the weak little cunt I was always told I was, I walked even faster to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

I turned on the shower to the hottest temperature I could stand and then some and I started to scrub myself raw under the omnipresent stream. My sobs came strongly  and I hated myself even more, for my selfish emotion.

‘Let me?’

Fuck

I could hear her behind me, but I didn’t have the strength to turn around. I could however hear the sound of the bath tub filling up.

‘God that water is boiling! What the bloody hell are you doing to yourself?’

Her hands reached in and turned off the flow of the water that had systematically been painfully trying to wash away my sins and the smell of guilt off my skin.

‘Come in the bath with me, I’m going to wash you, and you’re going to let me.’

Like a small child I followed her as she led me into the bath. She knew I couldn’t look at her and she sat me in-between her opened thighs in front of her. My skin must have been red raw as even in a normal temperature bath I could still feel it burning. It was nothing less than I deserved. Time after time she filled up the natural sponge with water and soap. It washed and rinsed and wrung out over as many parts of my body as she could reach. She asked no questions and slowly, too fucking slowly, my mind started to clear. Finally I lay back in her arms, it must have been a ridiculous sight to see, with our frames being so different in size, but I needed it and she was willing to give it to me, so there I stayed until the water started to cool.

‘It was a nightmare, wasn’t it?’

I owed her. I needed to at least answer that question.

‘Yes.’

‘Was it... Was it about when JJ died?’

‘Yes.’ I hated the answer, but owed her the truth.

‘I love you... I love all of you, as my aunty said recently we both need to let it go. I do feel we were meant to be together somehow. We need each other.’

I took in her statement, exhaled and slowly stood up out of the water. For the first time since the nightmare had started, I looked at her face and stared into her forgiving eyes.

‘I don’t know if I will ever be able to lose the guilt completely... but for you I will endeavour to.’

I lifted her out of the bath and into my arms. This woman was a fucking wonder in more ways than one. As we stood, holding each other, I lifted both of her wrists to my mouth and kissed over the top of the voile, still tied there. After removing the wet fabric from her I swung her up into my arms and carried her from the bathroom. Personally I would’ve thrown her over my fucking shoulder, but felt that something more loving than fucking needed to happen now. We remade the bed together as my nightmare had destroyed the bedding with my sweat and apparent thrashing about.

Finally the fog of oppression left me and I smiled as I gesticulated she should get back into the bed to get warm. She snuggled down immediately. Moving around to the log burner I rebuilt the fire over the top of the still hot embers and went to the kitchen to make us hot chocolate and whipped cream, I needed to find the packet of cookies I knew she had brought with us. Evidently I was in need of comfort food.

Fuck, Nathan would have a ball with that info.

The clock in the open plan room downstairs showed 2.45am. We had probably only had one-hour sleep tops, but I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping any more tonight. Carrying our cups upstairs in both hands, with the packet of cookies between my teeth, I reopened our bedroom door with a push of my right foot against it and it swung open, banging slightly on the wall to one side of it.

‘Sorry, baby,’ I apologised as her heavy eyelids fluttered open at the sudden noise. I dropped the cookies from my mouth and let them fall onto the white bedding.

‘It’s OK... I was just resting my eyes; I wouldn’t have slept until you came back anyway.’ She smiled at me then and I clambered back into bed next to her, passing her the hot chocolate and offering her the cookies I had managed to find.

‘It’s not easy for me to talk about,’ I offered, at the same time dunking a finger into the whipped cream on top of my drink.

‘I realised, after watching you trying to expunge yourself in the shower. I don’t mind that you can’t talk about it... I just want you to know that I am always here to listen if and when you need me.’ She turned and looked at me then, dipping a finger into her cream, then she dabbed my nipples with it playfully and after placing down her cup on the bedside table she licked at them both possessively. I knew what she was doing and welcomed the distraction. We spent the next couple of hours exploring each other’s bodies and chatting. It was warm and comforting. We laughed and shared stories of our lives. I felt like I had never known anyone as well as I knew her now. Certainly no one knew the things I had willingly shared with her.  I could have stayed wrapped up in our cocoon forever. I wasn’t fucking looking forward to telling her and the others we were going to have to cut short our trip tomorrow. The crap at home needed my attention and there was only one way to avoid the clusterfuck that was brewing.

I had to sort it out. I would protect those I loved.  I had promised.

Thirty-Four

FRANKIE

Alex had taken me out that morning for a long walk. We need
ed the blast of the cold fresh air, just to clear our heads. Last night had shown me just how deeply he was affected by JJ’s loss. He was quiet, really quiet, and nowhere near his normal self, but I put that down to our lack of sleep the previous night.

We had mostly walked in silence, just content to be with each other. Walking along holding hands and stopping frequently to hug and kiss. If it was possible the electrical connection between us was even stronger now. It was as if he had something to prove to me. Since last night’s turn of events, he wasn’t willing to be anywhere I wasn’t, and that was made even better if it was just the two of us. Nathan and Bella had barely surfaced all morning. We had briefly seen Bella grabbing food earlier, but when Nathan had shouted through to her from the bedroom, she’d gone straight back to him giggling and waving at the two of us.

We made do with left-overs from the day before for lunch and I was currently curled up on Alex’s lap reading. Bella and Nathan finally found their way out of their bedroom holding hands and laughing. I nudged Alex awake from his dozing and stared at them.

‘Yeah, I see it too,’ he whispered his acknowledgement.

I felt him start to manoeuvre himself slightly underneath me, as he rearranged his posture. He was leaning forward now over the top of me.

‘Right as we’re all here at the same time, I need to let you guys know that... well after speaking with Ruby last night... although I’m fucking reluctant to... I’m gonna have to cut this trip a day short. There’s a problem with a business deal and it needs my attention.’ After a somewhat hesitant start to the statement, the rest poured out quickly.

‘Oh?’ questioned Bella, ‘That’s sad, I love it up here, far away from world,’ she looked at Nathan longingly.

I knew what Alex was doing without even turning to see. His hands had released me and were currently going through and through his black hair.

‘You guys will never know how sorry I am, that we won’t get to stay until Sunday. But after sleeping on it I know it’s what I have to do. So we’ll leave tomorrow morning. OK?’

‘Well, dude, you have to do what you have to do... don’t you?’ Nathan was currently staring at Alex like he was trying to unpick his mind. Alex didn’t answer, but looked at Nathan as if he was trying to move his thoughts into Nate’s head by telepathic means.

‘So one more evening everyone, we should make the most of it. What shall we do?’ I jumped up and off his lap now and made my way to a cupboard that I knew from an earlier bout of my severe nosey tendencies, contained classic DVDs and began my inspection, to see what gem could be found.

‘I vote girls’ choice, what do you say, Bella?’ I showed her the cupboard full of films.

She came and joined me then and between us we picked out some classic chick flicks just to make the men in the party groan with the torture of it all.  Our last evening was full of laughter and banter. I took another photograph in my mind.

It was another wintery sort of day when we left our mountain retreat. The journey home on the Saturday morning was tedious as we seemed to meet up with all sorts of holiday traffic. Gone was the heady excitement I had felt on our journey up on Wednesday night. I was feeling guilty as I kept on falling asleep and jerking awake again. Alex had seen to it that we hadn’t had a lot of sleep last night; I smiled to myself remembering the hot tub we had finally enjoyed together.

Alex on the other hand was doing fantastically, he didn’t seem to be affected at all by the lack of sleep and this time, rather sadly, we didn’t even stop at the diner on the way home. It seemed he was single minded enough to know he had to get back as quickly as possible, to sort out whatever the problem was.

Upon arrival at his building in NYC we drove straight into the underground car park. Expertly he drove into the tight space and switched off the engine. He turned his body to face mine and grabbed hold of my hands.

‘Frankie, as much as this fucking kills me, I am going to have to drop you guys off now and get out to my mother’s house... I won’t be back tonight, baby,’ a long sigh left those heart shaped lips and he closed his eyes in resignation. ‘I hate to spend nights apart, but it’s necessary... you don’t know how much I regret that... it’s fucking necessary.’ His eyes found mine with the last sentence. Bella and Nathan had scrambled out of the car as quick as Nate’s leg could manage. Almost as if they had already read the situation and wanted to give us some space.

‘So will I see you tomorrow?’
God I felt like such a needy bitch.

‘I will have to work tomorrow, but I will find my way back to you at some point. I promise.’

I climbed over the centre console now and straddled his lap. Immediately we touched, I felt the by now familiar electric current coursing throughout my body. Alex in turn rocked himself forward with a deep moan and grabbed hold of my arse cheeks with both hands. I said nothing as I kissed all over his face and ran my fingers through the hair that I so loved to pull whilst we made love. His face was strained, and his eyes were a dark green with no light in them at all. Whatever was bothering him needed sorting out and fast as I wanted my playful, dominant man back.

‘I will miss you, but it’s a bit of luck I nicked one of your T-shirts previously. At least I’ll have something to sleep with.’ Without any warning his hands came up to mine rapidly and pinned them easily to my sides. My mouth was set about by his and my back was forced backwards onto the steering wheel. His tongue probed into my willing mouth. Once I had been kissed nearly breathless, he pulled away slightly and made straight for my tart button, my neck. He growled in-between licking and biting me.

‘Don’t make this easy for me will you, baby?’ The voice I so loved had deepened with his arousal.

‘No, Sir... I want you back ASAP.’ I grinned and reluctantly started to remove myself from him. He didn’t move from the driver’s seat and slowly I got out of the vehicle.

‘I will always find my way back to you, baby, always... I love you too much not to.’ His eyes found mine when he said those words and he offered me a small smile and a wink of his eye.

‘I love you too... so much.’ I closed the car door, hating the finality of the click it made and began to walk towards the lift. Edwards was there trying to be discreet, holding the door open for me. As I reached the lift door I turned to watch Alex leave. I watched him drive up the slope and out of the garage until the red brake lights could no longer be seen and it felt like Coronado all over again.