Fated Dreams (Book One In The Affinity series) (24 page)

He looked
miserable. He didn’t expect my reaction.

“Sarah, please
understand that I’m doing this for you.” His eyes were so tortured I wanted to
comfort him. But I couldn’t. He was the one doing this, and it was ripping my
heart out.

“Understand?
You don’t want to fight. You just want to give up? You’re a coward!”

His eyes
widened with shock, then turned to agony. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I
turned away and ran into the house, leaving him standing alone on the porch. I
rushed upstairs to my room, locking the door behind me.

I went to my
new window and peered outside. He was standing by his car looking up at me with
the same tortured expression on his face. I couldn’t comfort him like I wanted
to. He was the one keeping us apart, not me.

I turned away
from the window and lay down on my bed. Since I was safely locked in my room, I
allowed myself to cry. Once I started, the tears flowed until I had no more
left.

I didn’t sleep
well that night, and when I did, I dreamed of our deaths. Great, thanks for
rubbing it in.

The next morning I didn’t feel like going
anywhere. I told my mom what happened, and thankfully she let me stay home. She
left for work, telling me to call if I needed anything.

I stayed in bed
for the rest of the day with a box of tissues next to my pillow, only getting
up to eat lunch and go to the bathroom.

I watched TV to
take my mind off of everything, but each time I closed my eyes, Lucas’ face was
there telling me that we couldn’t be together anymore. The intense ache of his
rejection would return, leaving me breathless. And to add insult to injury, he
had called before I went to bed, asking if he could check up on me from time to
time to be sure I was safe. Instead of answering, I hung up.

I didn’t return to school until Wednesday.
I was still horribly upset, but I thought I could get through the day without
showing it.

I snuck into
the school, trying to avoid Lucas. I made it to my locker without incident.
Emma was there waiting for me. “Emma, I’m not in the mood to talk, okay?”

Her lips turned
up into a warm smile, and her eyes were full of concern. Obviously, she had heard.
“Who said anything about talking? Just listen.”

So while she
led me to my first class, I listened to her go on about a date she had with
Derrick, and about his brother bugging them while they made out. It was nice to
listen to something other than my own thoughts. She always knew what I needed.
When we stopped outside of my English class, she turned to me. “I’ll meet you
here when class is over, and I’ll walk you to your next one, okay?”

She was going
to stay with me in case I saw him, knowing I wouldn’t want to be alone. I knew
there was a reason she was my best friend.

“Thank you,” I
whispered, my eyes watering a little.

“That’s what
friends are for.” She smiled and walked away.

In class,
Derrick nodded to me but didn’t say anything. He must have been following
Emma’s instructions.

When the bell
rang, ending first period, Emma was at her post, leaning against the wall
waiting. It felt like every set of eyes was on me as we walked through the
halls. Obviously, word had gotten around about the breakup. Thankfully, Emma
and Derrick were by my side. This time she told me about her little sister’s
piano recital, which she aced thanks to my help. I smiled. If she continued her
plan for the rest of the day, I just might make it to last bell.

In the cafeteria
at lunch, I sat facing the wall. It was just the three of us again. I was going
to ask where everyone else was, but I knew she must have told them to stay
away. I chose not to look up at anyone, afraid to catch a glimpse of him,
although I knew he was here. I could feel him.

As Emma and
Derrick bickered about a project they were doing together, I pulled a murder
mystery out of my bag. The book was full of violence, intrigue, and explosions,
not one kiss, or one look of longing in all three hundred pages. I knew because
I checked. The novel kept my mind from wandering, and that was exactly what I
needed.

The bell rang,
the one I’d been dreading all morning. He was in my history class, and I could
no longer avoid him.

I was already
in my seat, with my head bent down, my hair hanging over my face, when I felt a
buzz of electricity. Even though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was there. I
felt him pause beside me, but when I wouldn’t look up, he sighed and walked
away.

The only
problem with Emma’s plan to keep me away from Lucas was Mr. Henderson. When he
set his briefcase down on his desk, he called the class to attention. “Okay,
everyone, we’re going to continue with our project work on the Second World
War. Get together with your partner.”

Oh crap, this was
not good. I raised my hand. “Mr. Henderson, can I switch partners?”

“I’m sorry,
Miss Samson, it’s too late for that. You should almost be finished. Next time,
choose more carefully,” he said, obviously annoyed that I had even asked.

“But Mr.
Henderson—” I was about to argue, but he cut me off.

“Miss Samson,
get started on your project now, you’re wasting time.” He pushed his glasses
off the bridge of his nose.

I glanced at
Emma; she gave me a comforting smile. It was a nice thought, but it didn’t help.

Standing up
slowly, I walked over to the empty seat beside Lucas and pushed the chair out.
It scraped against the floor, echoing throughout the room. Everyone seemed to
be watching me in silence. I sat with my eyes glued to the desk, his sweet and
spicy scent floating in the air around me. “So, you do this section, and I’ll
do that one, like we talked about.” I pointed to the textbook, trying
desperately not to gaze into his eyes. “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t speak
to me unless it’s about our project.”

After a long
pause, I heard him finally pick up his pen, scribbling over his paper.

When both of us
finished our sections, I put my pen down, still using my hair as a shield.
“That should just about do it. We just have to get our separate information on
this part off the Internet, and then we’ll be finished. If you need to discuss
anything else about the project, you can email me.”

“Sarah, come
on. What, are you never going to talk to or look at me again?”

“Not for a
while, no,” I said, still looking down at my paper.

He sighed
heavily and then I felt his fingers touch my chin. The familiar tingle was now
a searing pain. He lifted my head so I would look up at him. His beautiful eyes
were full of sadness as he smiled. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming, but
instead I pulled away.

“Don’t touch me
again,” I growled, my voice shaking with the urge to cry.

I stood up,
rushing out of the room, barely making it before the tears fell.

In the
bathroom, I took deep breaths to calm myself, splashing water on my face. I
drank some to kill the burn in my throat.

Just as the
bell rang, the door swung open, slamming into the wall. Emma stood in the
doorway smiling at me. She must have known that if she tried to console me in
any way, I would lose it. “Here are your books. I might have accidentally
smacked the person at the desk next to yours with them,” she said with a grin.
“Or maybe it was on purpose.”

I laughed,
taking my books from her. “You are the best friend in the world.”

“Don’t I know
it?” She walked me to my last class and picked me up again.

After school,
she insisted on following me home. I still wasn’t in the mood to talk but when
Emma got something in her mind, there was no changing it.

As soon as we
stepped into my kitchen, she pilfered through the fridge for drinks and then
led me up to my room. Once we were settled, pillows adjusted, blankets
arranged, she opened her bag and dumped out the contents. Brownies, candies,
and chocolates fell onto my blanket. “What the hell are you trying to do? Make
me gain ten pounds?” I asked with a chuckle.

“Who said this
is for you?” she said. “You’re going to tell me what happened, and you’re not
going to leave anything out. There’s no one here but us, so no one will see you
cry but me, and I’ve seen it before.”

I opened my
soda and shoved a handful of candy into my mouth. “Okay, I hav—” I mumbled as
bits of candy spilled out of my mouth.

“Eww, gross,”
Emma said, laughing.

I swallowed,
giggled, and continued. “Okay, I haven’t told you any of this, but don’t be
mad, okay? I was afraid to say it out loud because that would make it real.”

So I told her
everything, starting from the dream I had of Lucas, the day before I bumped
into him, until the night the guy with the mask attacked me. I took a breath
and ate a few more candies.

“I’m a little
upset that you didn’t feel you could confide in me. But I do understand why you
were freaked out, and didn’t want to think about it.”

“Thank you for
understanding. Lucas said since he’s dreamed of my death, he’s afraid it will
happen if we’re together, so when that guy attacked me with a butcher knife,
similar to the one in our dream, he came the next morning and dumped me.”

“I know you’re
hurting. I can’t imagine being without Derrick, but I don’t blame Lucas for trying
to protect you.” She spoke quietly, staring at the chocolates in her hand.

I glared at
her.

“I don’t know
if I agree with what he did. But the fact that both of you are having these
dreams about your own death is scary as hell. And then they start to come
true?” She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. “It’s kind of strange, don’t
you think?”

“Yes, it is,
but he could have handled it differently.” I sighed and lay back against the
pillows, playing with the tassels from my purple throw pillow. “Anyway, now he
wants to be able to check on me every once in a while to make sure I’m okay,
but we can’t be together. How can I talk to him, and not hold his hand, or wrap
my arms around him?

“I’m pissed off
at him. I want to figure out what’s going on together. He says no, being with
him is too dangerous. He decides what’s best for me, and I get no say in the
matter.” I roughly wiped the tears that fell down my cheeks. “Thanks for this;
I needed to talk about it. And you really helped me today. How did you find out
we broke up?”

She lay down
flat on my bed and glanced up at my dirt splotch. “On Monday, you both were
away from school, so I thought you were ditching. When Lucas came back
yesterday, he sat by himself at his old table. Andy and I went to see what was
going on, and he told us that you guys broke up. We asked what happened, but
all he would say was to leave him alone, so we did. I called you last night and
your mom told me what happened and that you weren’t up to talking. So today, I
told all the guys to stay away from our table, or there would be hell to pay.”

A laugh snuck
out around the brownie in my mouth. The idea that she could harm any of our
male friends was funny. She was shorter than me with a tiny frame; a strong
wind could knock her over

She stood up,
leaning over the bed to hug me. “I better get going. I’m here if you need me.”

I sniffed,
pushing away the last of my tears. “Thanks. See you tomorrow.”

The rest of the week was more of the same.
I didn’t work though. I had my mom call on Monday to tell them that I had been
attacked Sunday night, and was still traumatized. I was taking the week off.

I finally told
my parents everything. They were very upset with me for keeping it from them,
and now I was to be driven everywhere. My mood didn’t improve with time. I
thought that the ache in my chest would go away gradually, but as the week went
by, it got worse.

I stayed in my
room all the time, sometimes listening to music, other times lying on my bed
staring up at the ceiling, wallowing in my misery. I’d stare at my dirt splotch
that now took the shape of Lucas’ face.

Monday morning marked a week and a day
since he broke up with me. I still wouldn’t speak to him.

When my mom
parked in the teachers’ parking lot, I headed to the side entrance closest to
the lot.

Lucas stood in
front of the door waiting for me. I tried to walk around him, but he blocked my
path. “Your mother is driving you now? You must have told her what happened.
I’m glad, Sarah; you need to be careful even when I’m not there to make sure
you are.” He was wearing his black motorcycle boots and dark blue jeans, but
beyond that, I couldn’t tell. I kept my eyes to the ground, hoping I could make
a quick getaway.

I ignored his
question and took a step to the left to get around him again. But he stepped in
front of me.

“I’m sorry
about last Wednesday; I didn’t mean to upset you.”

I nodded and
tried to move again.

“You’re really
not going to talk to me?”

I gave up and
lifted my head to look at his shoulder. He was wearing his warm navy blue
winter coat, but again that was as far as I could go. I couldn’t bear to look
into his eyes. “Have you changed your mind?”

From the corner
of my eye, I saw his jaw tighten as he looked down at his feet. “No, I’m sor—”

I cut him off.
“Fine.” I slipped by him and ran to my locker.

Emma was no
longer my bodyguard. After I told her my story, it was easier, and I wasn’t
worried that I might cry. The tears had dried up, and anger was my new friend.

It was still
pretty quiet at lunch though. My two best friends talked to each other as I
read. Cory and Pete still stayed away; I figured it was because I was too
depressing to be around. No matter how much people tried to cheer me up, I
couldn’t even muster the energy to fake enthusiasm.

I snuck a peek
at Lucas’ table, and the scene there was similar to ours. He read a book while
Andy and Kyle talked to each other. I wasn’t sure whether it made it easier or
harder, that he was suffering as much as I was.