Fated Memories (42 page)

“
I have no choice. I’m already carrying his child,” she declared, her voice devoid of feeling.

In silence, he took her trembling hand to cover it with his own. “Jessie, I think you have rushed into a life you are not prepared to live. The love in your heart for the father of your child may not be strong enough to carry you through the hardships that are ahead for the both of you.”

At his gentleness, her tough resolve crumbled. “I’m so mixed up. I know I love Two Spirits and I can’t imagine my life without him now, but I can’t imagine my life with him either.” She drew a shaky breath. “On our way here to your camp, I thought I could be the woman he wanted, but now I just don’t know.” She looked up at him, her full mouth drawn tight. “Why do I have to change? Why can’t he learn to live the white man’s way? If he really loves me like he says he does,” her voice took on a whining tone, “he should be willin’ to live the way I want to.”

“
He can not do this.”

“
Why not?”

“
He is Blackfeet. He could never live as a white man. We are a proud people, Jessie. Our beliefs will not allow us to change.”

“
But,” she withdrew her hand, “you expect me to change. You expect me to accept the Indian way of life without question. I don’t understand.”

He drew back in amazement. “You are a woman. It is your place to accept change.”

“
Why?”

With real patience he tried to explain. “It is the woman who keeps her husband’s lodge free of the problems of the outside world. She is the one who cooks the food he brings her. She is the one who grows the life he has given her inside her body. A man’s woman will follow wherever he leads without question.”

“
What does the woman get in return for all this givin’?”

“
She has her husband’s love and protection. She and their children will never go hungry as long as he is there to provide for them.”

“
It sounds to me like the woman’s the one who gives while the man sits around expectin’ to be waited on. Why can’t he help out around the lodge? My father would never think of lettin’ my mother do hard work. He hired a woman to help her,” she said, waiting for him to disagree. “I think that’s the way it should be.”

“
In time, I am sure Two Spirits will take other wives to help you. For now you will be expected to do these things for yourself and your husband.”

“
What do you mean, Two Spirits will take other wives?! Jessie squealed, jumping to her feet. “If he’s married to me, he can’t take another woman!”

“
You forget, Jessie, Two Spirits is not living the life of a white man. Our women expect their husbands to take other wives. Not only to help them with their work, but to make sure his lodge will be filled with many sons.”

“
Two Spirits told me it’s no longer important for a man to have a lotta sons,” she told him, a smug look covering her face. “Because of the reservations, the old ways are no longer important.”

“
You are in Canada now, Jessie. Our people do not live on reservations. Here the old ways are very important to the Blackfeet.”

“
Jessie.”

She whirled to see Two Spirits standing just inside the lodge.

“
The women have prepared a place for us to stay.” His black eyes gave no hint as to the anger he kept a tight rein on. “If you are ready, you can go and rest.”

“
Yes.” She cast a sideways glance at Yellow Owl as she walked toward the lodge opening.

“
Yellow Owl, after I have taken my woman to our lodge, I will return to finish our talk.”

Away from Yellow Owl’s dwelling, an angry Jessie turned on him with what she had learned about living the life of an Indian woman. “You must think you’re pretty smart! You didn’t tell me the part about Blackfeet men takin’ other wives! If you think for one minute I’m gonna hold still for that, you gotta another think comin, Two Spirits!”

Grabbing her by the nape of her neck, he walked to their borrowed lodge. Once inside he threw her onto a couch. The look on his face as he glared at her blocked any words she might have uttered.

“
How dare you show your shame at being my woman in front of Yellow Owl! Does it give you some kind of perverted pleasure to castrate me before one of our leaders?”

Cold numbing fear filled her as she lay where he had thrown her. “Why are you treatin’ me this way? I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”

“
Maybe you never did!” He hurled the words at her. “You told me you are ready to behave like a woman instead of a spoiled little girl. When will you stop and think before you speak?”

“
Me?” She pushed herself to a sitting position. “Why didn’t you tell me you planned to take other wives?”

“
Do not judge me by what others do, Jessie! You are the woman I want to be with. It makes no difference to me if you have one daughter or ten sons.” He ignored the hand she held out to him. “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you!”

“
I didn’t know that, Two Spirits. When Yellow Owl started tellin’ me all that would be expected of me here, I took it for granted you would treat me the same way the rest of the men treat their wives.” Jessie covered her face with shame.

In an instant, his mood towards her changed. Kneeling in front of their couch, he gathered her into his arms, burying his face in her hair and talking to her. “You are my woman, Jessie. I want no other in my lodge.”

“
I’m sorry I shamed you.” She gulped her words as she tried to calm herself. “I’ll try to be happy here and be the woman you want.”

“
I am sorry for the way I shook you. I will try not to let my anger become stronger than my reasoning. We must be strong for each other, Jessie.” He held her close against him, trying to push the fear threatening to overpower him deep inside. “The life you will live here will be very hard for you. If we can not trust each other and work together then our love will not survive.”

“
We will make it survive, Two Spirits,” she told him in a brave voice. “For our sake and the sake of our daughter, we must see to it nothin’ ever comes between us.”

Much later, lying content in each other’s arms, they talked long into the night about what their lives would be like together, while the one who held their future in the palm of his hand moved ever closer.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“
Miz Charlotte, whut does you think is a-gwing on wid our baby chile right now?” Hattie filled her plate then passed the bowl of stew on to Charlotte.

“
I wish I knew, Hattie.” Charlotte took the bowl from her hands to set it down on the table. Pulling Eathen’s plate over closer, she ladled a healthy portion of mostly meat onto the plate then handed it across to him.

As if the women had not spoken, he accepted his food.

“
Mist’ Eathen, kain Ah gets you sumpin’ mo’?”

Shaking his head in refusal, he continued to eat his meal in silence, lifting and lowering his fork until the plate lay empty. Without a word, he pushed his chair back away from the table. As they watched him disappear into his den, Hattie continued eating her supper.

“
Ah swears ah doan know who ah’s mo’ worrit ‘bout, Miss Jessie or Mist’ Eathen. He doan talks ter nobody an’ de food ah puts on dis table mout jes’ as well bes hawg slops.”

“
I know, Hattie.” Charlotte rested her elbow on the table, rubbing her fingers back and forth across her forehead. “Thing that’s worrin’ me is if he’s this bad now, what’s he gonna be like when Wolfer brings her home?”

“
Ah doan even want ter think ‘bout dat.” Hattie shuddered, buttering herself another slice of bread. “Be’fo all dis happened Mist’ Eathen twould nebber think of raisin’ his hand ter dat young’un, but now ah doan know whut he mout’ do.”

“
I’m gonna go talk to him.” Charlotte pushed her untouched plate away. “It probably won’t do any good, but I gotta try.”

Her hand already reached for the doorknob, when sounds coming to her from behind the closed door made her draw back in alarm. The heart wrenching sobs tore at her, making it all but impossible to remain standing. In all their years together, she had never known Eathen to show any emotion. Unable to turn away, she turned the knob, pushing the door open.

Eathen sat in a chair behind his desk with his head slumped forward onto his crossed arms as they lay on the heavy oak desk. He didn’t hear her enter the room as his massive shoulders shook with the anguish he could no longer contain. Without stopping to think, she made her way towards him until she sat on the edge of the desk. Reaching out, she took him into her arms to hold him tight against her. At her touch, he leaned into the comforting arms like a small child being rescued from a bad dream.

“
It’s all right, Eathen,” she soothed, brushing her hand down the back of his head. “You go right ahead and cry.”

“
Why? That’s all I wanna know, Charlotte,” he sobbed, his rugged voice catching in his throat. “Why?”

“
I don’t know, darlin’,” she said, wishing she did.

Moving back out of her arms, he gazed into her eyes. “Am I to blame for this, as Wolfer and Pehta said?” he asked her, as hot tears streamed down his face. “I never meant to hurt her. I just wanted her to have the best I could give her.” He wrapped his arms around her waist. “Oh God, why?!”

Unable to give him the answers he needed, she continued to hold him, rocking him in her arms as she would have Jessie, had she been there.

At last he straightened, and withdrawing a large handkerchief from his back pocket, wiped his eyes. “Pour me a drink, would you, Charlotte?”

When she had done as he asked, he accepted the glass with a shaking hand. “I’m sorry I broke down like that. It felt like a dam had burst inside me.”

“
You’re human, Eathen.” Charlotte brushed back a lock of hair falling over his forehead. “Just like the rest of us.”

“
Sometimes I wonder.” Eathen gulped a large swallow of his drink.

Taking a chair near his, she took his large hand in hers. “Eathen, we’re gonna have to be strong for Jessie when she comes home. Our pain is gonna have to wait. Right now, she needs us more’n she ever has.”

Mopping his face, he took a deep breath. “When I think of her goin’ through all that pain of givin’ birth, as young as she is, I just want to strike out at the world with the unfairness of it.”

“
Eathen, she’s not too young to have a baby.” Charlotte rubbed her face against his hand. “It’s just that we still see her as a child. Our Jessie’s a grown woman. We have to accept this.”

“
She may be a grown woman to you, Charlotte. To me, she’s still my little girl.” The chair squeaked as he pushed it away from the desk. “And she always will be.”

Not willing to end their closeness, Charlotte spoke up. “From all you told me about what went on at the reservation, I have to wonder if Wolfer’s the right man to send after her. He sounds like a man prone to severe violence.”

“
I trust him to keep himself in check. Livin’ with the Blackfeet all these years, he’s bound to feel some anger about this situation. He seems to feel Jessie’s the one most responsible for all this, if you can believe that shit.”

“
What do you think, Eathen?”

“
You already know what I think. Two Spirits is a grown man. He’s the one that shoulda had more sense than to let this get outta hand.”

“
I don’t wanna argue. So I’ll say what we both know. They made a mistake.”

“
They sure as hell did.” He drank from his glass. “A deadly one!”

Almost afraid to ask, but more afraid not to, she turned to him. “Eathen, how are you gonna treat Jessie when she comes home?”

He looked at her over the rim of his glass. “I don’t know, Charlotte. She’s always trusted me to make everything all right. This time my hands are tied.”

“
She’s gonna need all the love and support she can get. If you let her know you’re ashamed of her, you’re gonna make everything worse.”

“
Bringin’ her back against her will’s gonna call for a showdown. There’s no gettin’ ‘round that fact.” Eathen rubbed the back of his neck then moved his head from side to side trying to relax his tight muscles. “Jessie ‘n I’ve never had cross words. You know this, Charlotte. But I can damn near guarantee you, this time’s gonna be different.”

“
She’s your daughter. Would you give in without a fight if someone tried to tear you away from the woman you thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?”

“
I can’t look at it like that, Charlotte.” Eathen walked over to stare out the window. “And you’re right, she’s my daughter. It’s my place to take care of her.”

“
I know that. And you know that. But, Eathen, Jessie won’t see it that way. All she’ll see, is she’s bein’ separated from the man she loves!”

“
Yeah, and it’s thanks to that worthless son-of-a-bitch I may end up losin’ my daughter! Goddamnit!” He slammed his fist against the window frame. “I’m her father! I shoulda took care of her! But I didn’t! Now, she’s knocked up with a half-breed kid, and it’s all my fault!”

Moving now, Charlotte made her way towards him. “Is that what’s tearin’ you apart? Because you couldn’t see what was happenin’, it’s all your fault? My God, Eathen,” she drew him into her arms. “Nobody had an idea she would do something like this!”