Father Unknown (16 page)

Ellen looked round at her family. She wasn’t surprised by Violet’s starchiness, that was her all over. But she couldn’t imagine what was wrong with Josie, she looked so sullen. She was wearing a lovely pale blue dress and white sandals on her feet, but her eyes were cold, her mouth pinched and angry. As for her father, he just looked plain bewildered.

‘We were just about to have our dinner. I’d better put some more vegetables on for you,’ Ellen said, hoping to sound really welcoming and defuse the situation. ‘But first I’ll help Josie unpack her things.’

Ellen picked up both the bags and walked into the house, Josie following her. Their parents remained outside. ‘You’ve made my day coming home,’ Ellen said to her sister as they went up the stairs. ‘But tell me what’s wrong. Aren’t you pleased to be home?’

‘No, I’m not.’ Josie flounced into their bedroom and flung herself down on her bed. ‘Mum’s evil. You can’t imagine how horrible she’s been to me and everyone else. I hate her; I don’t want to live in this crumby place either. Look at this room, Ellen! Don’t you think we deserve something better?’

This was a shock to Ellen for Josie had never complained before. ‘I suppose we could paint it ourselves,’ she suggested. ‘But what’s happened to make you like this?’

‘I can’t say now, she’ll go for me if she hears me telling you anything,’ Josie said, looking fearfully over her shoulder towards the door. ‘You go on downstairs and do the vegetables. I’ll unpack my things. I don’t want my new clothes spoiled.’

Ellen couldn’t bear to leave it like that. She sat down on the bed beside her sister and took her hand in hers. ‘Whatever’s happened between you and Mum hasn’t got anything to do with us,’ she reminded her. ‘I love you, Josie, I missed you like hell. Don’t be mean to me.’

Josie’s lip trembled and her eyes filled with tears. ‘I missed you too. I’ll tell you everything later. I’m just so mad with Mum I can’t help myself.’

As Ellen prepared some more vegetables and gravy and laid two extra places at the table, she kept glancing out of the window at her parents. They were sitting on two chairs, their backs to the kitchen so she couldn’t see their faces, and too far away for her to overhear what they were talking about. But it was clear from the way they were sitting so stiffly, gesticulating with their hands, that it wasn’t a happy reunion.

The new school term started the following day, so Ellen thought maybe that was why Violet had brought Josie back now. She had noticed that her stepmother’s appearance had improved quite dramatically. She’d had her hair cut and permed, and the navy and white dress she was wearing was new. She also looked as if she’d lost some weight. But however overjoyed Ellen was to have Josie back, she couldn’t feel the same about her stepmother. Her gut reaction was that there was more trouble in store for all of them, and she knew she was going to be stuck right in the middle of it.

An awkward silence fell over the dinner table. Violet’s mouth was pursed; Josie’s eyes remained downcast. Ellen did her best, remarking on how nice Violet looked and passing on bits of village gossip, but there was no response.

‘You girls go out for a walk,’ Dad said after the dinner had been eaten and the washing-up finished. ‘We’ve got things to talk about.’

Violet shot Josie a malevolent look which could only be a warning she wasn’t to speak out of turn, but she didn’t countermand her husband’s suggestion.

‘Mum’s stupid and selfish,’ Josie blurted out once they got down to the cove. ‘She’s ruined everything.’

Ellen was well aware from Josie’s nervy behaviour that she had been promised a good hiding if she revealed anything. ‘I won’t let on you’ve told me anything,’ she reassured her. ‘Cut my throat and hope to die.’

Josie smiled faintly, they had used that silly vow all the time when they were little. ‘Oh Ellen, I don’t know where to begin,’ she sighed. ‘I didn’t want to leave here, I thought I’d hate it in Helston, but it didn’t turn out like that.’

It transpired that while Violet had stayed looking after her mother in her tiny house, Josie had gone to stay with her Uncle Brian and his wife Susan. They had two boys, Josie told her, John aged seventeen and Mark fifteen, and their house was a very grand place with six bedrooms, a huge garden and a tennis court. It seemed that Brian had made big money in the building trade after the war. Josie liked Mark and John, and right from the start it was her idea of heaven, for her aunt and uncle treated her like the daughter they had never had. They bought her new clothes and made a real fuss of her. Josie started having dancing lessons, and as her aunt was involved with an amateur dramatic society, she had taken Josie along to that too, and Josie had loved it.

‘I was really happy there,’ she burst out angrily. ‘Not just because they made a fuss of me, but because it felt right. I missed you, but that was the only thing from here I did miss. I had a lovely room; I could listen to records, play tennis and go swimming with the boys, watch television and go to the pictures. I felt I belonged.’

Although Ellen felt saddened by what Josie was saying, she could also sympathize. ‘So what happened?’ she asked.

‘Grandma said Mum could have her house when she died.’ Josie pulled a face. ‘I don’t know why she wanted it, it was horrible. But Mum reckoned she could do it up, and she was going to get a job in Helston. She was happy enough for me to stay with Uncle Brian, and go to the secondary school there. I reckon she thought if she left me with them, they’d always look after her too. Then Grandma died, and it turned out her house didn’t belong to her at all. Uncle Brian had bought it years before, so Grandma didn’t have to pay any rent. He said Mum couldn’t possibly have it, he was intending to do it up and let it to holiday-makers.’

Ellen almost laughed, remembering her father’s words about Violet’s reasons for going to Helston. She might have said ‘Serve her right’ if Josie hadn’t been so upset.

‘Mum was like a mad bull,’ Josie went on. ‘She raged about how she’d looked after the old bat all these weeks when none of the rest of them could be bothered, and she was entitled to something for her trouble. She was hateful to everyone, especially Brian, and she made them all realize she’d only gone to look after her mother because she thought she was going to get something.’

Ellen winced; she knew how nasty Violet could be.

‘Uncle Brian laid into her, you should have heard the things he said! He even said she’d only had me to trap Dad into marrying her. Then he said she didn’t need any help from any of them anyway, after all she had her own fortune coming to her in this place. He said if she had any sense at all she’d get back here and make Dad see what a goldmine he was sitting on.’

Ellen frowned. She didn’t understand how anyone could think the farm was a gold-mine. ‘But it isn’t,’ she exclaimed. ‘What did Uncle Brian mean?’

‘I couldn’t see it either, but my cousin John explained it to me,’ Josie said. ‘You see, the land and its position are worth a fortune, at least to someone with the imagination and money to put into it. He was talking about a hotel, holiday cottages, that kind of stuff. Uncle Brian had only seen it once, but he’s in that business and he knows. He reckoned it might be worth up to a million pounds, and besides that, Dad could still build himself a little cottage to stay in, and work some of the land. So he could have his cake and eat it too.’

This was astounding to Ellen. ‘But Dad won’t ever sell it,’ she said. ‘Mum must have flipped if she thinks she can make him.’

Josie shrugged. ‘That’s what I reckoned too, but Mum thinks she can do it, and I’m supposed to help her. That’s why we’ve come back.’

‘Well, I’m glad you have,’ Ellen said, even though she couldn’t help thinking it might turn out to be a nightmare if Josie didn’t want to be here.

They had been sitting on a rock, but Josie got up abruptly, picked up a stone and hurled it into the sea. ‘I’m not a bit glad. I’ve got to get back to Helston; there’s a boy there I really like.’

Six weeks before Ellen wouldn’t have seen that as a good reason, but she saw things differently now. ‘Oh, Josie,’ she sighed. ‘I know just how you feel.’

She listened while Josie told her about a boy called Dave who was a Mod and drove a Lambretta. She went on and on about how it felt when he kissed her, how she couldn’t bear to be parted from him.

Ellen just nodded. Everything Josie said struck a twanging chord inside her.

‘I love him,’ Josie finally burst out. ‘I’ll just die if I can’t be with him.’

She stopped suddenly, looking curiously at Ellen. ‘What did you mean by you knew how I felt? Have you met someone too?’

Ellen felt too wretched to be cautious. She blurted out the whole story about Pierre, including the fact that they’d made love.

‘Ellen!’ Josie gasped, her eyes widening in astonishment. ‘I can’t believe you’d do that. You’ve always been the sensible one.’

‘I don’t think anyone’s sensible when they fall in love,’ Ellen said sadly. ‘I could have sworn he meant everything he said, but he went away without even saying goodbye.’

‘Maybe something happened to stop him. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to Dave.’

Ellen shook her head. ‘I’ve been through all that in my mind, but I know the truth now. He was just using me. If he’d really cared, he could have left a message at the kiosk.’

Josie took Ellen’s hand and squeezed it. ‘Don’t say that, I can’t bear to think of anyone hurting you.’

‘I’m getting over it,’ Ellen said, but the tears forming in her eyes proved that wasn’t true.

Josie looked at her for a moment. ‘You couldn’t be pregnant, could you?’ she said.

‘Don’t say that,’ Ellen exclaimed. ‘I feel miserable enough already. You can’t get pregnant the first time, can you?’

Josie shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But Auntie Susan gave me a bit of a talking to when she saw me snogging with Dave. She told me about one of her friends’ daughters who got pregnant to a sailor at HMS
Culdrose,
that naval place near Helston. He got shipped off overseas, and she was left to face the music on her own.’

Suddenly Ellen felt very uneasy. She hadn’t even considered pregnancy, heartbreak was enough to cope with, but now she came to think about it, the last period she’d had was before she met Pierre. That was at least five weeks ago.

‘Are you all right? You’ve gone all white!’ Josie said, and moved to her sister’s side to cuddle her. ‘You aren’t late, are you?’

‘I think I am,’ Ellen said in a whisper.

‘It could be just because you’ve been upset,’ Josie said, tenderly stroking her sister’s face. ‘I don’t always get mine on the right day. Oh shit, I wish I hadn’t said anything now.’

‘We’re a fine pair, aren’t we?’ Ellen said with a sigh. ‘You don’t want to be here, I won’t either if it turns out I’m pregnant. Dad and Mum are going to be fighting all the time. What the hell are we going to do?’

‘Run away together?’ Josie said.

For just a second or two that idea sounded wonderful to Ellen. But her common sense came back almost immediately. ‘You can’t run anywhere; you aren’t old enough to leave school. And don’t you say a word to Mum or Dad about this, will you?’

‘Of course I won’t,’ Josie promised. ‘But before we go back home, I’ve got to tell you something else.’

‘What? You haven’t done it too?’

Josie laughed. ‘No, but I was tempted to, Dave was so lovely. What I wanted to say is that I’ll have to be a real misery at home. It’s the Only thing that might make Mum send me back to Uncle Brian’s. It will mean I’ll have to pretend to be nasty to you, and upset Dad too. I’ll be just the same as usual when we’re on our own. But not when we’re indoors.’

Ellen shrugged. She felt so low now that nothing could make her any worse. ‘Okay. Well, if I am pregnant, I suppose you being nasty all the time could be a good reason for me leaving.’

‘You mustn’t do that!’ Josie’s eyes widened with alarm. ‘I couldn’t bear it.’

‘I’ll have to, won’t I?’ Ellen said, her eyes filling with tears. ‘Dad will be furious if I am. And even if he calmed down enough to agree he’d stand by me, could you imagine Mum being nice about it?’

Josie just looked bleak for she was remembering her mother’s instructions yesterday as they packed to come home. Her new role was to push Ellen into leaving the farm. If she didn’t, she couldn’t go back to Helston. Violet’s reasoning was that if Albert didn’t have Ellen to help him, he’d be much more likely to agree to sell.

When Josie was given this ultimatum, she had been preoccupied with planning her own escape route, and it hardly registered how cruel her mother was being about Ellen. But this latest development was likely to scupper everyone’s plans. If Ellen was pregnant, she was far more likely to reveal the truth than just run off. That was the way she was. Dad would fly off the handle too, but in the end he’d stand by Ellen. When the baby was born, Mum wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting Dad to sell the farm. And where was it going to leave her?

‘I don’t think you can really be pregnant,’ Josie said hopefully. ‘We’re just getting carried away. But let’s playact that we’ve fallen out for good for now, then whatever happens we’ll be able to help one another.’

By the middle of October, when no period had arrived, Ellen had to face the fact that she was pregnant. She tried to blot it out, to believe it couldn’t be happening to her, but in her heart she knew. Her breasts were tender, she sometimes felt nauseous in the mornings when she smelled bacon cooking, and she discovered by consulting a book in the library that both these things were symptoms.

By day Ellen could blank it out. Being in the sixth form at school gave her many privileges; it was more relaxed than the rest of the school. She liked schoolwork and her teachers. But as soon as she got home, the anxiety came back, for the atmosphere there was stifling.

She couldn’t escape by helping her father around the farm, because she had so much homework, and Violet never missed an opportunity to belittle her or blame her for something. As for Josie, she made things even more intolerable because she’d stuck to her plan of never speaking unless they were alone.

Her father had become completely unapproachable. He came indoors to eat his meals, bolted them down and then shot out again. Misery showed in his face, and she guessed that whenever she and Josie were out, Violet harangued him about selling the farm, perhaps even resorting to blackmail by telling him she’d go for good if he made it worth her while.