Fault or Virtue: An Imaginative Retelling of Jane Austen's 'Pride and Prejudice' (11 page)

After exchanging general pleasantries, Bingley and her sister soon fell into a
private and pleasant conversation, and Elizabeth and Darcy kept their silence. Darcy,
Elizabeth mused, looked particularly displeased, and hoped that it was not the setting of
Gracechurch Street near Cheapside that he was bothered with, but rather her appearance;
for if he did not wish to see her, than she need not fear what Wickham had warned was
coming. Surely it could not be for Bingley’s sake that he was frustrated at their
appearance. She noticed that Darcy stole surreptitious glances at Jane and Bingley at
intervals as if studying their behavior. He seemed to grow more worried with every
glance.

Elizabeth could not think of one thing to say, Mr. Darcy made her decidedly
nervous, and his normal silence she found particularly exhausting. She had decided that
impertinence and teasing would not be the route to take with such a man after what she

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had learned of him, but she did not see any other means of making conversation with
him, thinking that any alternative was better than silence.

“I see you are not more loquacious in London, Mr. Darcy,” she said, raising her
eyebrow at him.
“Had you thought I would be?” he answered quietly, finally meeting her eyes and
sending shivers down her back.
How dreadfully uncomfortable he makes me!
She thought
as she tried to quell the sensations.
“Perhaps not,” she felt as if she had rather not said anything. He continued gazing
at her, his expression deep but unreadable, as if he were searching for an answer. She
began to think he would make no answer, but after what seemed like a lifetime of
studying her face, he began in a gruff tone.
“And besides to satisfy a curiosity as to my behavior in town, Miss Elizabeth, to
what do I owe the pleasure?” He let a small smile escape and his eyes danced with the
pleasure of finding himself again in a battle of wits with the country maiden that had,
since his removal from Netherfield, only occupied his dreams. As long as he did not
allow himself a glance at her lips, he would be safe.
With this remark, Elizabeth could now cast aside her uneasiness and put all her
effort into their conversation. She decided his uneasiness before was due to the effort of
distancing himself from her so that she would have no expectations of marriage. This
greatly relaxed her. If he was so reluctant to pay her any attention, then he could not have
any designs on her as Wickham had warned.
“Perhaps that was my only reason,” she answered, hoping this matched his
impertinence and would distract him from asking again.
His smile grew and he studied her face for a moment before shaking his head,
laughing to himself. Even if she had not traveled to London, he began to doubt he would
have been able to stay away from her.
Their conversation continued much in the same way, yet the subject of their
sudden arrival was never brought up again. Mr. Darcy could guess as much, but in truth,
he did not consider the circumstances to hold much weight. The gentleman were asked to
dine with them once the Gardiners arrived back home, and they found that Longbourn did
not compare with that of the Gardiners’ residence, and Darcy nearly forgot every reason
he had objected to the Bennets in the first place. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, too, were very
pleased with their favorite nieces’ choice of company.

“Well, Darcy?” demanded Bingley as soon as he had poured another drink for the
both of them.
“You mentioned Fate earlier, Bingley, but Fate goes by a different name in
Meryton: Mrs. Bennet.”
“Oh, you’re always so sour. My only vengeance for you convincing me to quit
Netherfield will be the day you fall madly in love, Darcy. When you are turned into a
quivering and nervous fool.”
“I had only wanted you to be sure, Bingley. You are far too likely to make the
most important decisions with the least consideration. Your easy nature makes you blind
to fortune hunters, social climbers…”
“She is not a fortune hunter, Darcy!”
“I did not mean to imply that.”

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“Darcy, you worry to much for one man who has so much to his advantage. I trust
my feelings and I have yet to find fault in my decisions. I know that if I am fortunate
enough to have Jane accept me, I will be making up for those days that I abandoned her
for London for the rest of my life.”

“Charles, I am sorry for suggesting that we remove ourselves to London. I am not
one to give advice on matters of the heart.” Fearing that this sounded too bitter, he added,
“I know you will find all the happiness you deserve, Bingley.”

Elizabeth continued to talk herself out of feeling guilty for enjoying Darcy’s
company. As every word of Wickham’s crept into her mind, she found ways of
discounting them. After all, Darcy moved in high circles of society, and therefore even
minor indiscretions would be well known to society. She knew him to be very close to his
sister and very protective of his sister as well, so pursuing a mistress would seem
unlikely. That kiss, though perhaps meaningful to both of them at the time, could mean
little to either of them at present. It was a moment of…infatuation. But still, she knew
that he would not marry her.

She could not easily forget the look of displeasure he wore whenever her family
was near. He would never allow himself or his sister to be aligned with such relatives. He
was not completely what he was to her at Netherfield, either. Elizabeth could see that he
was deeply affected by a matter of great importance and she was happy that she could
temporarily distract him. But she knew he was never completely easy in her company,
and this made it much easier for her to be around him. As their time in London went
pleasantly by, Elizabeth slowly put her worries about Darcy aside.

A few weeks into their visit to London brought news of a disappointing nature.
Elizabeth received word that Charlotte Lucas had accepted Mr. Collins and would be wed
in a matter of days. If a letter from Charlotte had not been the source of the information,
Elizabeth would not have believed it, she still didn’t want to. The end of the letter was
particularly upsetting to her and she feared for their friendship.

Lizzy
, Charlotte wrote,
I know that this news may be a shock to you, but I hope
you will come to accept it in time. I know you will disapprove, you yourself turned down
the same offer from Mr. Collins, but I can no longer afford to be romantic. I will have a
good home, an income, and a family of my own soon, and I desire to add your friendship
to the list.

Her hands shook as she finished the letter, wishing it were only a bad dream. How
could she maintain a friendship with someone willing to accept that man? Charlotte had
known exactly what she would be thinking, and this somehow made her feel worse.

“Lizzy, it cannot be so bad,” soothed Jane. Right then, Mr. Bingley and Darcy
were announced for their scheduled call. Jane patted Lizzy on the arm gently and awaited
Mr. Bingley’s entrance. Elizabeth was in no mood for conversation, but neither, it
seemed, was Mr. Darcy. For once she was very grateful for his intimidating scowl and his
dark mood. He sat across from her, content to be distracted by his own thoughts, when he
saw Elizabeth’s hands shaking as she gripped tightly to a letter. His worry outweighed his
mood, and he took a moment to study her face for answers. She was terribly upset and
her eyes, at any moment, could release a flood of tears.

“Miss Elizabeth, would you care to go for a walk?” Just as soon as he decided to
slowly distance himself from her again, he found he could not.
Once they had distanced themselves considerably from Bingley and Jane, Darcy
stopped and turned to her.
“May I be of any assistance?” She was surprised by his question, too enveloped in
her own thoughts to think he had noticed anything was wrong.
“I have just received some disappointing news from home and I only need time to
come to terms with it,” she answered.
“I hope your family is in good health,” he said, not knowing at all what the news
could be.
They continued on towards a lonely wooded path in the park.
“Everyone is well, thank you. I am acting childish. I have received very good
news, and I am selfish enough to be upset by it. My friend, Charlotte Lucas, is to marry
Mr. Collins in a few days time.”
Darcy felt a mixture of emotion at the news. He was very glad that Mr. Collins
would no longer be able to harass Elizabeth into matrimony, but he was very sorry that a
sensible lady such as Charlotte would have to suffer.
“And you are disappointed at not making the ceremony?” he asked, thinking she
wished to go home.
“Oh, no,” she laughed bitterly, “I have not yet considered going home for the
wedding, it is that the marriage will take place at all that causes me such angst.”
“You do not approve of the couple? Miss Lucas has made a good match and will
live on a comfortable income while Mr. Collins will benefit in having a very intelligent
and sensible wife.” He noted the irony in arguing for a marriage of convenience when he
had attempted to save Bingley from such a marriage days earlier.
“I wished more for my friend than comfort, Mr. Darcy. I had always sworn that I
would only enter into a marriage formed by sincere attachment, which I know to be
Jane’s opinion also, and I had always thought that Charlotte would do the same.”
Darcy felt very guilty at the mention of Jane’s opinion. Of course Elizabeth would
know her sister’s feelings.
So I almost separated true love
, he realized.
He cleared his throat, “It is honorable to want more for a friend, Miss Elizabeth,
but once they make their decision, is it not a friend’s duty to respect them more for it?
Perhaps especially when it so decidedly different from what we would have chosen for
them? It is a reminder of the beauty and uniqueness of friendship, that those who are so
different, can still be so close.”
Elizabeth was touched by his sentiment and she was even more embarrassed by
her feelings.
“Of course, you are right,” she said, and then smiling widely, she continued,
“Perhaps I was shaken at the reminder of my upcoming spinsterhood.”
Darcy was shocked at her admission and was relieved to see she was only teasing
him, attempting to return herself to her usual good mood.
“And so what will you do now?” He asked, fixing her with a serious expression.
She stopped and paid particular attention to an old and knotted tree trunk by her side.
They were far into the wooded path and there was no sign of her sister and Mr. Bingley.
“I will go home, ensure that my friendship was not harmed, and live out the rest
of my days in spinsterhood, wondering which one of us had chosen the better path, both

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without love.” She leaned against the tree for comfort and stability as the truth of her own
words sank in.

Darcy studied his feet silently and then looked up at her. She would not meet his
face, but she could guess the depth of his expression. She became aware that they were
completely alone. Darcy slowly closed the distance between them and rested his arm on
the tree above her head and leaned in towards her. She refused to look up, she was so
distracted by the warmth of his body nearly pressed against her that she was afraid of
fainting. Her face glowed red and she became aware that her breathing was heavy and
audible, but so was his.

When he realized that she would not meet his gaze, he gently tipped her chin up
with his hand. His face was inches away from hers and she became lost in his eyes,
temporarily replaced by dark pools of passion. Her breath caught when she saw his eyes
move from hers down to study her lips. He was completely lost, Darcy realized.

Her lips parted slightly in her effort to answer, but not a word came out. It was
then that Darcy closed the remaining inches left between them, and pressed his lips very
gently against her slightly open mouth. He stopped the kiss in seconds to view her
reaction, and pleased with the expression of desire he saw in her eyes, he moved his hand
gently down her chin to caress her soft neck and throat as he began moving his lips more
assuredly against hers. Elizabeth was completely bereft of reasoning. She clung to the
tree behind her as Darcy moved his thumb across her jaw line, down her throat, and left
to trace small circles across her chest. He moved to kiss her neck but was interrupted
when she let out a passionate gasp of surprise at the feeling. This brought him back to his
senses and he backed away slowly, leaving her still clinging against the tree. He collected
himself, and turned to her.

“I cannot apologize, but I should,” he regretted it as soon as it came out of his
mouth. It was what he was feeling, but it did not sound as well as it did in his head.
It was just as well, for Elizabeth seemed not to have heard him. He contemplated
his next words when she surprised him by straightening herself, patting down her dress,
and walking determinedly back down the path where they had come.
“We must go, Mr. Darcy. My sister will be missing us.”
He had no choice but to chase after her, pleading her to stop.
“Mr. Darcy, please?” she said, after he had taken her hand in his. He did not know
what to make of her look or of her determination, but he would have sworn she looked
sad.
“Anything you wish, Miss Elizabeth,” he reluctantly let go, and the two were
silent the rest of the afternoon.

“I do not understand why he did not take the opportunity to propose!” Elizabeth
sought to distract herself from the unnerving events of the day.
“Oh, Lizzy!” Jane blushed furiously.
“How did he use up his valuable time then?”
“We talked about Netherfield, and Charlotte, and his sisters, and…well, to tell
you the truth, Lizzy, I was quite expecting him to propose as well. He covered every
topic but that of our marriage, so perhaps he was readying himself for it.” Jane giggled
and covered her mouth.

“You know that if I wasn’t so sure of your happiness here, I would not think of
leaving you for home.”
“I know, Lizzy. I will miss you terribly, but you must go to Charlotte’s wedding.
Do you think you will return to London?”
“I do not think that will be necessary, after Bingley proposes I am sure you will
be on your way home after me to help Mama will all of the wedding preparations.”
“Oh, Lizzy, you are terrible!”