FavoriteObsession (10 page)

His elation fell with those words. The reality of their
situation came rushing back.

“But I can never give Mira children.”

“No, you can’t.” Rafe turned in his seat and faced him. “I’m
going to be completely honest with you, Josh. If you commit to this, you’re
damning Mira to an eternity of heartache. She’ll have you for fifty or sixty
years if she’s lucky. That’s it. When you die, all she’ll have are her
memories—no children to love and no hope of reuniting with you in the afterlife.”

Josh swallowed around the lump in his throat. He’d been told
the same thing dozens of times. It never got easier to hear. It also didn’t
stop his longing. He needed her, but it was selfish to pursue her. Rafe was
right. Once he died, Mira would be alone.

Or would she?

He cleared his throat. “She’ll be able to choose a shifter
mate after I die, right?”

“Sure but with the way she looks at you, he’ll never be more
than a breeding partner to her. Love isn’t an emotion many shifters understand
until it hits them. When it does, our chosen one becomes our existence.
It’s…mystical.” Rafe sighed. “I’ve known Mira a long time, Josh. She’s nothing
if not stubborn. If she commits to you, no male will take your place in her
heart. She won’t allow it.”

Josh stared out the window. The honorable choice would be to
let her go. If he was out of the picture, Mira might find some happiness. Maybe
fall in love with Aron. Have his babies, the ones their goddess predicted would
change the world.

The tips of his fingers burned as rage rose. He squeezed his
eyes shut against the haze turning everything red.

No. Fucking. Way.

“Drive, Rafe. I don’t want to be late.”

Mira paced from one end of the library in Kade’s house to
the other. The built-in shelves sat empty and the walls remained unadorned, not
a surprise. The home technically wasn’t finished. Only a handful of bedrooms,
one bathroom and the kitchen were in working order. She took in all the details
and without anything else to distract her, her strides quickened.

With her racing pulse and her rapid breaths, she hovered on
the verge of an anxiety attack, a leftover from her teen years. For a long time
after Edmund had raped her, the sight of any stranger sent her running for
cover. She no longer feared being overpowered by a male. Long, hard hours of
training with her brothers had ensured she could hold her own, but the
automatic reaction to any threat still lingered. It embarrassed her.
Unfortunately, as much as she tried to stop it, tense situations or strong
emotions set her off.

She forced herself to stop pacing and peered out the big
window overlooking what would eventually be the gardens. At the moment, the
yard consisted of a lumpy dirt pile. Stacks of wood, tarp-covered stone and
other building supplies sat neatly arranged near the far wall.

Thankfully, no construction workers roamed the grounds
today. Although necessary, she hated hiding her inhuman traits. The survival of
their species depended on it. For that reason, she did her part to keep their
secret, except she’d made the biggest mistake of all today. She’d shifted and
frightened a human, maybe even injured her. Not actually remembering what she
did showed just how far gone she’d been.

She pressed her palms to her eyes and groaned. She still
didn’t know who the woman was to Josh. When she’d asked Kade, he’d told her he
took care of it. She was to meet him here to discuss her act of indiscretion.
In other words, receive her punishment.

Mira tensed as the soft footfalls in the hallway announced
her leader’s arrival. The door closed with a soft click. She waited another
moment before she turned around. Her brows pinched at the sight that met her.

A shirtless Kade strode to the room’s only piece of
furniture, a large oak desk. Deep claw marks bisected his chest. The wounds
were healing before her eyes, but the shock came from seeing the evidence of
whatever tussle he’d been involved in. Royals healed quickly so he’d either
been injured badly or came straight from a fight.

“What happened?”

Kade didn’t answer. He opened the bottom drawer of the desk,
removed a thick black towel and wiped the blood from his skin. With slow,
controlled movements, he balled it and dropped the bundle to the floor. Arms
crossed over his chest, he studied her with feline eyes—full, golden orbs. His
intense stare pierced her. Knowing better than to challenge him, she dropped
her gaze.

“I took your punishment.”

She glanced at him. “But why?”

“Because it is my right to shoulder my family’s pain.” Kade
stormed toward her. Using a single finger, he tipped her chin up. “Why Mira? An
inch more and you would’ve sliced her femoral artery.”

“I hurt her?” She tried to remember what had happened. Only
her jaguar’s rage lingered in her memory. “How badly?”

He released her with a shove. She stumbled. Kade strode
across the room. He pivoted on his heel once he reached the door. His chest
rose and fell roughly. Claws slid from his fingertips, his hands enlarging to his
werecat form with tawny hair sprouting over knuckles. Her inner animals
responded to the threat, pushing to be set free. She forced them back. She
deserved her pride leader’s wrath.

“The
female
needed stitches. Since she couldn’t go to
the hospital, I had to intervene.”

Her stomach churned with the revelation of her sin. She
swallowed the rising bile. “I am sorry you had to give her blood.”

Kade hissed and leapt the expanse of the room to land in
front of her.

“She refused my gift!”

He panted hard. Fangs filled his mouth and the warmth
emanating from his skin warned her he barely had control of his cats. Fear
slithered into her belly, heaving the contents. She held her breath and waited.

Kade leaned closer so his hot breath washed over her face. “I
was forced to lick them shut.”

She gasped.

Kade stormed away, his angry steps betraying his conflicting
emotions.

“I am sorry, Kade.” She forced herself to respond. “Is Josh’s
lover well?”

Kade stopped mid-step, jerked his head to glare at her. “The
human is not Josh’s lover. Had you not given into your ridiculous jealousy, you’d
have realized that.”

Trepidation settled over her, chilling her soul. “Then who
is she?”

“His baby sister, Zoe.”

She covered her eyes and slid down the wall on a garbled moan.
The sweet way Josh had spoken to her should’ve clued her in. There’d been
tenderness in his voice, not lust. She’d written it off. In light of Kade’s
revelation, it made perfect sense.

“Gods, I’m so sorry.” She dropped her hands and met Kade’s
derisive glare. “I’m in your debt. I’ll take over the female’s protection.”

A shudder ran through him. He closed his eyes and groaned,
the sound reminding her of a wounded animal. “You know I cannot allow that. She’s
my burden now.”

She knew all too well the instinctual drive to watch over a
beloved human. “She is well?”

Kade nodded. “She will carry your scar, but she’s fine.” He
tilted his head. “Please tell me you you’re not actually considering mating
him.”

Mira wasn’t sure how to answer that. She had thought about
it but feared offering her response in the face of Kade’s anger. She must’ve
debated too long. He slammed his fist onto the desk.

“Dammit, Mira. Why can’t you follow the rules? You cannot
take a human male as your mate.”

“Not in truth, I know that.” She wasn’t about to admit how
often she contemplated trying to tie Josh to her anyway. It’d be a death
sentence…for both of them. The gods’ words were law. Unbreakable. She knew
that. Still, desperation fed her doubt.

“Good.” he leaned across the desk separating them. “Keeping
him as a lover would only label you as a damn fool too. Don’t even think about
it.”

Her irritation got the better of her. She straightened her
spine. “Why not? Josh is the first male who ever wanted me as a person, not as
a breeder or something to use to get off.”

“Want you as a person?” Kade smirked. “Are you sure about
that? Humans, especially males, will fuck anyone that gives them the time of
day. You are not special to Josh.” Kade stepped closer. He took the chin he’d
roughly held a minute ago and ran his thumb along her jaw, the soft touch at
odds with the hard glint in his eyes. “Your beautiful, Mira. Sensual and sexy.
You’re a goddamn walking wet dream. That’s what Josh sees when he looks at
you—a damn fantasy. You are not someone he wants to marry.”

“So, you’re saying Josh doesn’t want me,” she swallowed and
forced herself to add, “for more than a tumble.”

Kade smiled at her as if she were a child who’d finally
figured out a basic concept of life. He patted her cheek. “Exactly.”

She clamped her teeth together to resist snapping at his
fingers.

“I’ve given this much thought and blame myself for this
situation. He’s been told over and over that he can’t have you. That makes the
unattainable prize seem sweeter. While he didn’t get full sex, you gave him
what many human males beg their females for. I imagine it’ll satisfy his
curiosity. And honestly, after the stunt you pulled, I doubt he’ll feel
anything toward you besides disgust. He’ll be glad he didn’t fuck you.”

The tremor in her limbs betrayed her anxiety. She feared the
same. Kade wrapped his arms around her, tucking her smaller frame into the
shelter of his. She buried her face in his shirt, needing the comfort he
offered. Shifters were a touchy-feely bunch. At the moment, she hurt.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. You know I care about you,”
Kade murmured into her hair.

He did. She’d been a member of his family’s pride since her
thirtieth winter. Although fully mature, she’d been skittish. She’d needed
constant reassurance. Kade had given it to her. He was the first male she’d
trusted enough to have sex with but like all the other encounters she’d had
over the years, it meant nothing more than the physical act. Actually, he was
the last male she’d been intimate with too. They’d gone full circle and
remained friends throughout the centuries.

Tears burning her eyes, she tightened her grip around his
waist. “If you care about me, then why not fight the Council’s order? If you
use the goddess’s prophecy as an excuse, we might be able to stop them.”

He sighed and stepped away from her. Stiffness tightened his
shoulders. “I can’t. This has to play out. You must be mated. Sooner rather
than later.”

Her cats picked up on Kade’s agitation. Each big predator
focused on him through her eyes. “Why?”

Kade rubbed at the back of his neck, a nervous gesture many
feline males shared. “I don’t want to be in charge, Mira. Rafe should head this
family, not me. I don’t have the patience he does.”

Every muscle in her body tensed. It wasn’t like Kade not to
answer her questions. Usually, he told the truth as bluntly as possible.
Sensitivity,
not his strongest suit.
Dancing around the issue worried her. It bothered
her inner spirits too. Each big cat began to prowl their metaphysical
enclosure.

“The prophecy never came with a time limit.” She stated the
fact hoping he’d elaborate on why he insisted her mating must happen now.

“Did you ever wonder why the goddess didn’t intercede to
save her beloved child from Edmund?”

Her stomach rolled. Kade’s question matched the one she’d
always asked herself. The only answer she could come up with sickened her. Her
legs threatened to give out. She gripped the edge of the desk so she didn’t
crumble onto the floor.

“No, no. Don’t say it Kade. It’s not true!” She hurried
around the desk and gripped his biceps. “It can’t be true. My cats would’ve
known.”

Golden eyes focused on her and the sympathy reflected in
their depths tore a whimper from her throat. Kade offered no comfort this time.
He held her gaze, the leader to his pride member, ready to deliver the hard
facts. “The Council, both single-shifter members and royals, believe the golden
goddess didn’t intercede because Edmund was meant to father your cubs.”

She turned her back on him and rubbed at her burning eyes. “I
told you not to say it.”

His long and weary sigh cut through her and worsened the
pain in her chest.

“I don’t agree and neither did my father. It’s why we’ve
worked so hard to protect you.” He placed a warm, strong hand on her shoulder.
It didn’t ease the chill seeping into her bones. “But I won’t any longer.”

She whipped around, the betrayal in his words opening up the
wound she carried, the one that left her feeling dirty and unworthy.

He held a hand up. “A leader, a good one anyway, must think
of his family first, individuals second, himself last. Do you understand? I can’t
fight the Council’s order when I agree with it. You must take a mate and
fulfill your destiny.” Kade tugged her close before she could storm away. “But
I planned to mate you so you didn’t have to go to a stranger’s bed.”

Not because he wanted her. It hurt. It shouldn’t. She didn’t
want Kade, but being on the receiving end of his pity cut at her already low
self-esteem. She scrunched her nose, letting him see how much she disliked his
words. “Thankfully, now you don’t have to. Aron has offered to fill the martyr’s
shoes.”

Confusion crinkled Kade’s smooth brow. His eyes bled
completely gold as his cats rose to offer assistance. Hers did the same
whenever she didn’t understand something. Most of the time, their animals
couldn’t help either, but they were bothered when their host was upset.

“Being your mate will not be a hardship for any male, myself
included. Who wouldn’t want to wake up to a gorgeous female every day? You will
give your mate fine cubs and endless hours of enjoyment.”

She snorted and threw her hands up in the air. “Wonderful. I’ll
be an incubator and a sex toy.”

Kade’s frown deepened. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” She challenged with a raised brow.

“You can’t expect love, Mira, at least not anytime soon. Most
shifter matings don’t work that way. It’s always sex first, then love and only
if you’re lucky.” Kade stepped closer. He ran a thumb over her lips. “I always
left you satisfied, didn’t I?”

He had, but without the emotional connection the act had lost
its appeal after a while. She’d often left him feeling more alone than before
they’d fucked. “Yes but it’s not enough. I want to be important to my mate.”

His brows pinched. “You are important to me.”

She reached a hand between them and placed it over his
heart. “Friendship isn’t enough, Kade. I want to be loved.”

He mapped her face with his fingertips. While she wanted to
jerk away from him, she didn’t. The gentle strokes didn’t come off as sexual,
merely another attempt to calm her. It didn’t work.

“Someday, I might love you, Mira. For you, I’d try. Will
that be enough?”

She shook her head. The words wouldn’t come out.

Kade sifted his fingers through her hair. Cupping her head,
he tipped it and stared into her eyes for a long moment. “I want to try. Do you
understand? I care about you, more than I ever did for another female.”

She closed her eyes to hide her tears. “If you care about
me, why won’t you let me be with Josh?”

“Because I can’t.” His hand fell away and harsh feline eyes
focused on her. “You must take a mate. A royal one, not a single-shifter. I
will not condone their heavy-handedness by allowing them to get what they want.
They have no right to order your mating.”