Fear Me (23 page)

Think, think, think.
“I – I was but…there wasn’t any towels left to clean up with.”
Shit! What a dumb lie.

“Is that so?” I nodded dumbly and swallowed the saliva that was suddenly too thick and heavy for my throat. “Show me.”

The room begun to spin and I could practically smell shit hitting the fan. I stood up and walked out to the hallway and headed toward what I hoped was the bathroom door. I was too distracted last time to remember where Sheldon had led me. I quickly played ‘eenie meenie’ with the doors and reached for one.

“That’s Keenan’s room.” I rubbed my sweaty palm against my dress to hide my nervousness.

“Sorry. The thing about doors is that they all look the same.”

“So do lies.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Then get your ass in the bathroom, Monroe. My favorite clock is ticking.” He stood against a door further down the hall with his arms crossed over his chest and the light bulb finally clicked in my head. I walked over to the door and stood in front of him trying to mask my nervousness. “Yes?”

“You’re standing in front of the door,” I whispered.

“Am I?”

I hope so.
I stared up at him but didn’t say anything. He smirked and pushed open the door all the while keeping his gaze on mine. I looked inside hesitantly and let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding.

“Congratulations, you bought yourself a few seconds.” He walked into the bathroom and leaned against the sink, waiting for me. I walked in and looked around the clean but plain bathroom. You could tell by looking that only men used this bathroom. There weren’t any of the frou frou decorations that women liked.

“I didn’t see where you keep the towels in here.”

“That’s because we don’t.”

“Then why did you –”

“I wanted to see if you were still lying to me.”

You could hear a pen drop a mile away. I opened and closed my mouth but no words came out. He stared at me for a few seconds longer and then walked over to the shower and cut the water on. When he walked back over to me, I took a step back but he caught the front of my dress and pulled me to him. He spun me around and unzipped the back and when it was off, he nudged me into the shower. He left the bathroom and returned moments later with two cloths and two towels in his hand. He continued to ignore me while he slipped out of his jeans and shirt and when he stepped into the shower, I moved over to put space between us.

He grabbed the bar of soap out the dish and grabbed my neck next, pulling me to him again. “Wash me,” he ordered, placing the cloth in my hand.

“Aren’t you going to punish me?”

“Do you want me to punish you?” I faltered and realized I didn’t know how to answer that question.
No, dumb ass!
I mentally screamed the answer to myself but yet the words couldn’t pass my lips. He smirked and said, “I know you better than you know yourself, Monroe. I’m not going to punish you…tonight. I’m fucking tired. Controlling you is exhausting.”

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”
Did I say that out loud?

He eyed me and said, “Careful…I’m not that
tired.” I looked down and fingered the soapy cloth in my hand. He released a harsh breath and gripped my wrist bringing it up to his chest. “You can start here.”

My hand automatically began moving in circles across his chest. He had an impressive build for an eighteen year old but no one would ever have accused Keiran of being ordinary. He watched me as I washed him and I almost dropped the cloth a few times. When I reached his lower stomach and the hard erection stretched against it, I paused. I slowly ran the cloth up and down, my nervousness making my grip firm and I briefly hoped I was hurting him the way he does me when he takes me.
But you like the pain…

The groan that erupted from his throat sounded pleasurable rather painful so I tightened my grip and continued the up and down motion. The hot water pounding over us was forgotten as I concentrated on making him hurt.

“Fuck,” he groaned again. “Unless you want me to fuck you right now, I suggest you stop playing with my dick. I know what you were trying to do. It would be more efficient if you kneed me in the balls.”

I kept my gaze down to hide the guilt and quickly finished washing him. When I finished he soaped the other cloth and washed my body with surprisingly gentle, massaging strokes. Before I knew it, I was closing my eyes and enjoying the sensation.

When he finished washing me he brusquely ordered me to get out and I bit back a retort for his rudeness. I dried off slowly, hoping it pissed him off and then left to wait in his room. I could still hear the shower running as I rummaged through the bag he packed for me. After searching three times I realized he forgot to pack pajamas for me. I huffed and sat on the edge of the bed. He finally came in moments later with a towel wrapped around his waist. This was my second time seeing him like that and the effect was even stronger than the last.

“I don’t have pajamas.”

He unwrapped his towel and used a corner to dry off his chest. The urge to taste his skin was overwhelming. When he dropped his towel on the floor and switched off the light, plunging the room in darkness my ire rose. He approached the bed and dropped down on the mattress.

“I sleep nude so you will too.”

“I really prefer not to so if you could loan me a shirt…”

“Sleep naked or sleep on the floor.” He sounded as if he was already half asleep. I could only make out his shadow among the bed sheets.

“You’re being unreasonable.” Silence greeted me. After a few minutes I stood up and dropped the towel. I pulled back the sheets while eyeing him carefully and quickly slipped inside using the sheet to cover my naked body. His breathing sounded even so I assumed he’d already fallen asleep. I shifted until I was as far away from him as I could get without falling off the bed.

“Keiran?”

“What?”

“Why did you have sex with me in front of your cousin?” I held my breath, waiting for an answer.

“He needed to see that you were only mine.”

“Why did he need to see that?” I asked, confused.

“Because he wants to fuck you.” He said it as casually as if we were discussing the weather.

I frowned. “What would make you think that?”

“My cousin will fuck anything that moves.”

“And yet he hasn’t fucked you.”

“Monroe…”

“Sorry.” I suppressed the sneaky laugh bubbling in my chest but it quickly died when a disturbing thought occurred to me. “Would you let him have me?”

His arms were around my waist in a flash, pulling me across the bed toward him. He flipped me onto my back, tucked me into his side, and leaned over me to peer into my eyes.

“No one will ever have you but me.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked, feigning anger even as my heart skipped a beat.

“Because I’ll kill you first. You’re mine, Monroe. That will never change.”

“Fuck Mondays,” I muttered to myself. The day was halfway over and I kept thinking about the second I could escape this hell but then I remembered you could never actually leave hell when you sold your soul to the devil himself.

I’ve been playing his shadow all day and I was sick of it. Keiran was everywhere, all the time, without actually being around. The stares and whispers I’ve been receiving were draining. Don’t get me wrong, I was used to it, but for different reasons. There were so many rumors circulating about what I was doing with Keiran, none of it good. To make matters worse Willow would barely talk or look at me in Volleyball today. I had to find a way to talk to her later without Keiran knowing.

I pushed open the bathroom door and immediately caught sight of Anya primping in the mirror. What she needed to primp for in the middle of a class period, I had no clue. She was standing in her signature high heels and mini skirt. I evilly wished she would trip and fall at least once. Maybe then she would get the clue that stilettos weren’t meant for school.

“Well if it isn’t the whore of Bainbridge High,” she sneered.

“Funny. I was going to say the same about you.”

“I don’t steal people’s boyfriends.”

“No. You just spread your legs for them. Do you at least ask for dinner first?”

Her eyes narrowed and I noticed her fist ball at her side. “When Keiran is done with you, I will make you sorry.”

“Too late. I’m already sorry.”

“You think you’re special but you’re not. He just wants to fuck you for whatever reason. You’re not even pretty.”

“Gee thanks. Maybe he wanted a change of scenery. Something less shallow.”

She narrowed her eyes and placed a hand on her hip. “Did you just call me fat?” she huffed.

I choked back a laugh.
Wow, she really is an airhead.
“I’m sorry. What was I thinking?”

“Whatever. Stay away from Keiran. He’s mine.”

“That’s kind of hard when he can’t seem to stay from me. But I’ll tell you what…you can keep him and when I’m through with him I’ll toss him back.”

“You’ll never get the chance. Trevor has something planned for you, and Keiran will be all mine again.”

I managed to maintain a bored expression. She was watching me closely for a reaction but I refused to give her one. “You let me know how that works out for you, will you?”

“Bitch,” she spat. She charged for the door and bumped my shoulder on the way out.

As I was walking back to class, I received a text message from Jesse saying that he wanted to talk. I chose not to respond. I had to distance myself from him and anyone else Keiran could use to hurt me. Besides, there was nothing Jesse could do to help me and while we’d grown close, I didn’t feel comfortable discussing Keiran with him.

When the last bell finally rang, I walked outside and found Keiran, Keenan, Dash, and Quentin all standing around Keiran’s car. I had been wondering how I would get home when Keiran didn’t show up for fifth period. Willow was there but after what happened Saturday night and the phone call, I felt too guilty to look her in the eye much less ask for a ride home. Keiran would also likely find out that I disobeyed him again. It all made me question once more if I was doing the right thing. The ending fate of the dead girl in the picture told me I was.

As I approached the car the guys stared at me but I didn’t let my nervousness from their scrutiny show. I lifted my chin and walked up to Keiran. “Take me home,” I ordered.

The guys chuckled as if I just told a joke while Keiran watched me but didn’t say anything. I tightened my hand on the strap of my bag and met his stare but a few seconds later I started to waver. He wanted me to squirm and damn it, it was working. He managed to pick away my defenses and toss them away.

“Your girl doesn’t have any manners,” Dash commented. Keiran rubbed his chin where his stubble was growing thicker and grunted.

“I think she does it for attention,” Keenan quipped.

“You would know all about begging for attention wouldn’t you?” Keenan was a walking advertiser for a kid with daddy issues. He played the rebel and the whore but I saw right through his act.

“Yeah, but I don’t beg as well as you do,” he said smugly.

My face reddened at the reminder of Keiran and me in the kitchen the other day. I still couldn’t believe Keiran allowed him to watch us but then Keiran didn’t have any warm feelings toward me. I was just another girl that spread her legs for him. “You’re a perverted –”

“Enough,” Keiran commanded. “Get in the car.” He opened his door and pushed the seat forward so that I could climb in the back.

Once seated in the car, he slammed the door closed. I tapped my foot impatiently while he continued to talk to his friends. I pulled out my phone to text my aunt. My worry for her kept me checking in with her more frequently than was normally necessary.

The school parking lot was nearly empty by the time he decided to leave. He and Keenan climbed in the car and we sped out of the parking lot. I watched the town pass by through the window and tried not to listen to their conversation. Keenan was yet again talking about some hot chick that wanted to bang him. I honestly didn’t know what Sheldon saw in him. He was a pig.

My body wasn’t accustomed to all the sex I had over the last twenty-four hours so I leaned my head back against the seat and closed my eyes and before long I had fallen asleep.

Somewhere between sleep and wake, I felt the car stop and heard a door open. I reluctantly opened my eyes and when I noticed I was home after all, I sat up with excitement. I thought for sure Keiran would lock me away in his house again where I could
service
him at anytime.

Keiran slid out of his car and lifted his seat. I eagerly stepped out and walked to the door without looking back or saying goodbye. As much as my body enjoyed what he did to me, I was exhausted. I unlocked the door and stepped inside but when I tried to close it he stopped it with a hand on the door. I turned around in surprise to see him walk inside.

“I thought you were leaving?” I asked, nervously.

“Take your clothes off,” he ordered. His voice was husky and aroused as slowly shut the door and shed his shirt.

* * *

The disheartening thud of the door shutting after his departure echoed in my ears. I listened to him drive off from the couch where he left me naked, spent, and sore. Only when I couldn’t hear the sound of his engine anymore did I pick myself up from the couch. Before heading upstairs for a soak, I picked my clothes up from the hallway where they were discarded.

I felt many emotions but the one that was dominant was disappointment. He took me hard and then left without a word. It was pretty much the way he’d always treat me after he had me. He’d fuck me then ignore me. I may have been a virgin when we had sex but I wasn’t naive enough to think that this was normal.

My inexperience was caused in part because Keiran made it his mission to run off any guy that showed an interest in me…even the unpopular ones. My first kiss ended in a disaster because of him. I decided to join the Math club because I was good with numbers and hoped to make friends. Willow was the love of my life as far as best friends go but I couldn't smother her.