Fear Me (6 page)

I felt numerous eyes staring between us curiously. Keenan was sitting at the table along with their other friend Quentin, who they called Q. He was a lot like Keiran: silent and brooding. He never really had much to say and sort of moved in silence. No one has ever seen him with a girl on his arm either and so there was a quiet rumor around school that he might be gay.
People are idiots.

A couple of other guys and girls were sitting at the table as well but they were all jocks and cheerleaders.
Give me a break.
Sheldon Chambers, Keenan’s girlfriend was at the table as well. She seemed to be the only person not giving me hostile looks. Instead she was looking at me curiously from her seat next to Keenan.

“
Who were you looking for?” Keiran asked breaking me out of my inner musings.

“No one.”

He became eerily silent as he watched me from lowered lids; his face looked like it was carved out of stone as he clenched his jaw muscles. “Is that a lie?”

“No,” I lied again. I didn’t owe him an explanation on anything I did.

“We’ll see,” he replied smoothly, but I heard the threat in his words and saw the promise in his eyes. I knew I made a big mistake by lying, but it was too late to do anything about that now. My mind was occupied with Willow and what I heard just minutes ago.

Sometimes I wondered if Keiran’s empty threats were just that– empty. But the look in his eyes would always warn me that they weren’t.
So what held him back?
I’ve been enduring his tricks and torments for ten years. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle with only a year left and my freedom right around the corner. I was going to make it.

“
So, Lake. How do you like the fact that Keiran is back? I’m sure he has a lot of catching up to do with you. I cannot wait,” Anya cackled and her robotic friends laughed with her.

“I don’t think he’ll have much time to do anything if he’s too busy using you. I heard it was his favorite hobby.” There were a few muffled laughs and snickers around the table from the guys, and Anya turned a deep shade of red.

Normally, I would just ignore Anya but the frustration from dealing with Willow and Keiran this morning, had me a bit touchy. I decided to ignore her anyway and discreetly texted Willow for the third time. I had to think of a way to get out of here and away from the firing squad.

When I returned my attention back to the people at the table, I noticed Anya was still glaring at me. I met her start and lifted an eyebrow in mock challenge. Her lip curled as she leaned forward and spoke words that I definitely wished I could have slapped right back down her throat. “Didn’t you and Jesse Fitzgerald have a thing last year? I mean, you two were pretty cozy for a while, but who could blame you. He was a major hottie. So what happened to that? You finally get a boyfriend and couldn’t keep him?”

The table grew deathly still as silence descended after Anya’s question. A few guys shifted in their seats and looked at Keiran nervously which was weird because
I
was the one he was looking at like he wanted to kill. I avoided his gaze and looked down at the empty space on the table.

Jesse was the only other person I could have ever called a friend. He was a military brat that moved here with his family after Keiran left. After a month or so of school, we crossed paths when I’d gotten stuck in the mud after a hard rain swept through Six Forks. I was having bad reception and couldn’t call my aunt for help or a tow truck and no one was around. I stood there for maybe fifteen minutes trying to get a signal when I heard the rumble of a bike pull up next to me. I remember looking into the second most beautiful set of eyes I’d ever seen. It didn’t give me that familiar jolt that Keiran’s did though. I instantly recognized him as the new kid but he was more than that too. Jesse had quickly ascended the ranks at Bainbridge and had an endless supply of girls chasing him, so when he befriended me, it nearly caused an uproar within the school. People constantly tried warning him away, including me, but he never paid any attention. Pretty soon, a rumor had started that Jesse and I were an item but it couldn’t be further from the truth. We were hanging out often and managed to grow close when his father was suddenly deployed and his mother felt better being closer to family, so they moved back north, halfway through the year. I had him for six months and then he was gone.

“Hey, Keiran, listen man, we were going to tell you–,” one of the guys spoke up. Before he could finish, a fight between two guys broke out on the other side of the cafeteria. Chairs and tables were flipped over as a stampede formed to get a closer look, quickly turning the cafeteria into a stadium.

Just then, Willow walked through the door with wide eyes and looked around. When she saw me her eyes grew larger and she rushed over to me.

“Gosh, Lake. I’m mad at you for five seconds and you try to commit suicide.” The group at the table took one look at her in her dark green overalls and lopsided bow and erupted into laughter, but she didn’t spare any of them a glance. “Let’s get out of here,” she said, taking my hand. I didn’t waste any time arguing and jumped up from my seat before Keiran could stop me again.

* * *

“So what happened this morning when Keiran took off with you? That was scary.” We sat down in our seats, waiting for French to start after hiding out for the rest of the lunch period. I’d been looking over my shoulder ever since Anya dropped that bomb and I ran away from him.

“Willow I told you I needed to drive to school.”

“You forget people talk right? Especially when it involves Keiran, so try again.”

I took a deep breath and thought of what to say. Willow was pissed that I just lied to her but what could I do? I couldn’t tell her truth. “Oh you know...he just wanted to start the year off traditionally. I’m sorry, Willow. I just didn’t want you to worry.” That much was the truth at least.

She stared at me before shaking her head and pulling out her usual assortment of colored pens. I needed to change the subject and fast.

“I’m also sorry for accusing you of keeping secrets. Whatever is wrong, you can come to me when you’re ready. I won’t pressure you. Best friend?” I wasn’t really sorry for wanting to know what was going on with my best friend but I wasn’t willing to hurt her over it.

She looked at me with relief on her face and I felt like an ass. “Best friend, she relented. “I’m sorry too, Lake. I’ve been a butt. Hey, want to do something later? I have to work tonight but we can see a movie tomorrow night.”

“Sounds great. How did
Pepé
take you being gone all summer?”
Pepé
was Willow’s ferret that she named after the cartoon skunk
Pepé le Pew.

“I still can’t get him to play with me. The little shit sure can hold a grudge. He just gives me the stink eye. It kind of reminds me of the she-witch, Anya.” I laughed.
I never believed an animal, especially a ferret really had personalities but Pepé certainly was a character.
“So…are you and Keiran really dating?” she asked.

I hesitated, feeling like I was suddenly under a microscope. Willow knew all about Keiran believing I framed him. I still haven’t told her about the pharmacy and I couldn't tell her about his threat.

“As if, Keiran would really date you. Un-believable.” Willow and I looked up to find Anya and her posse standing over us.

“Oh no, it's the hussies of Bainbridge High,” Willow retorted.

I choked back a laugh. “Is there something we can help you with Anya?”

“Yeah, stay away from my boyfriend.” She shifted her hip and smacked her overly glossed lips. “Keiran doesn't want you and it’s pathetic seeing you follow him around all day. He doesn't need a lap dog.”

“Boyfriend? Does Keiran know this?” Willow asked sweetly.

“I’m not talking to you, weirdo. I’m talking to this loser. Keiran just wants to use you because everyone heard how you give it up so easily, but he’s mine.”

“I’m sorry he never mentioned you, but I’ll keep that in mind.” I turned to Willow, who was biting back a laugh. When Anya continued to stand there, I faced her again. “Was there something else?”

She rolled her eyes at me before stomping off with her army of skanks following. “Can you believe that chick? You would think Keiran’s penis was made of gold, the way these girls act.” Willow scoffed. I looked at her in shock.
Yeah, definitely something up with her.

I had begun to think school would never end. I almost shit a brick – excuse my language – when Keiran had walked into fifth period along with his closest cohorts. For an hour I felt the chill and tension at my back all the while praying for the period to end quickly.

Willow had just dropped me off at home and I immediately noticed my aunt’s car in the driveway. I released a low groan knowing there would be questions about my day. Besides Willow, my aunt was someone I hated lying to so I was hoping to avoid this talk altogether.

“Lake how was your first day as a senior?”

Stressful.

“It was good. I don’t have any serious classes besides English and French.”
That’s good, Lake. Keep it going.
With any luck I could bullshit my way through this conversation.

“Well that’s great. So…did anything happen?’

Shit.

She was fishing and I knew what she was fishing for. Ever since I fainted in the parking lot she’d get a worried look in her eye whenever school came up. I’d work so hard over the years to keep my school life away from home and now it seemed that everything was coming to light.

“No. It was pretty uneventful. Some guys got into a fight today.”

“It wasn’t over you, was it?” A teasing smile spread her lips as she watched me.

“No. Nothing like that.”

“One day. You’re too gorgeous not to have it happen.”

“Aunt Carissa, I don’t find the idea of being fought over like table scraps, appealing.”

“And that’s what makes you such a strong girl.” She kissed my forehead and resumed preparing dinner as if she didn't just send my world crashing.

I wasn’t strong. I was anything but. I’d let a single guy isolate me my entire life and now he was after me in the worst way and I was too afraid to stop him. After the playground, he’d made it his personal mission to make me fear him. His threats were always done in secret though and I never knew when they were coming. I touched my neck, absently, thinking about the most terrifying time he threatened me…

* * *

“But I don’t want to go in there with you. Please don’t make me.” I had been walking down the empty hallway, on the way to the bathroom. Everyone had class, including me so I wasn’t expecting to run into Keiran. Literally. We rounded the corner at the same time and collided, causing me to fall on my rear while he watched me with cold eyes.

“Shut up. I’m sick of your whining. I haven’t even done anything to you yet,” he gritted in a deep voice. Not long ago his voice had become rougher, making him even scarier. It also made me feel strange in another way but I didn’t know how to explain it. My aunt did tell me that our bodies would start to change after puberty so maybe that was it. He had just turned fifteen after all.
Gosh, I hope my voice won’t become like that when I turn fifteen in six months
.
Boys already didn’t like me.

He pushed past me, into the janitor’s closet, then gripped my wrist and yanked me inside before shutting the door and closing us in with the darkness. My breathing became uneven as I started to panic from being enclosed in such a small place with him.

“What do you want?” I wanted my voice to sound strong but it trembled along with my body. There was only the sound of his erratic breathing so I squinted, to see what he was doing.

“Open your shirt,” he ordered. I instinctively crossed my arms over my chest and took a step back but the shelves behind me told me there was nowhere to go.

“What? Wh— why?”

“Why what?” he snapped.

“Why do you want me to open my shirt? You’ll see my—”

“I won’t see anything, stupid. It’s fucking dark.”

“So why –.”

“Just do it,” he said impatiently. I was fourteen and already self-conscious about my body, especially because I knew what my shirt hid. I was a late bloomer so my breasts were new to me and I wasn’t all that comfortable with them. My hands dropped to the buttons on my shirt. After the first button it became harder and harder to continue but somehow I did until the sides of my shirt were lying open.

“I – I’m finished,” I whispered. I heard him suck in a ragged breath and just as he did I could feel something cold and sharp against my neck before it trailed down to my chest and stomach and up again. A knife? Did he really have a knife?

“Do you feel that?” I could feel his breath on my skin and knew he was close. The hard point was now teasing one of the hard points on my breast and I shivered involuntarily.

“Yes.”

“What is it?” he asked.

“A knife.” My voice was small as I answered him.

“No,” he said softly. I felt a sharp nick and winced silently in pain. “That’s your life coming so close to ending. Soon, Monroe.”

* * *

I remember going home later that day and finding dried blood on my shirt and skin and realized he must have cut me. I often wondered if it was by accident or intentional. After that, I never chanced going to the bathroom alone.

“So are you sure you’ll be okay staying by yourself for six weeks?” My aunt’s next question snapped me back to the present.

“I’m sure. This is big, Aunt Carissa. You shouldn’t miss it.”

“I just feel awful about missing your birthday.”

“No worries. You know how I feel about my birthday.”

“Oh honey…”

“Really, it’s fine.” I shifted from my feet, hoping she wouldn’t bring them up. “Are you still mad at Susan?” Susan was my aunt’s agent and friend. They’d been through thick and thin since the start of her career.

“No. She pulled some strings and got Europe fitted into the tour schedule, so all is forgiven now.”