Fear Me Not (The EVE Chronicles) (20 page)

I reach out for the claw, and hold it. Shadus tries to pull away, but I tighten my grip. It’s warm, the scales smooth and seamlessly tucked under one another. On a school field trip I’d touched a boa constrictor. It’s almost the same.

“Doesn’t it disgust you?” He mutters. “Frighten you?”

“It probably would have. Months ago. But now? Now it’s just amazing. I learn so much more about you guys every day. And it’s…it’s incredible. I’m so incredibly lucky I get to learn these things at all. So thank you. For showing me this.”

I mess my hair up and laugh.

“That arm doesn’t scare me, if that’s what you worried about. I’m more worried about the explosions, and the fact you said -”

I look out at the stars.

“That you said I was
zol
. That’s terrifying to think about, you know? Even if it doesn’t seem possible. Any one person having that much power, even if it isn’t me. Shit, especially if it’s me. That’s more frightening than anything else in this world.”

I feel him walk up behind me. For a moment, I think he’ll try to recreate what happened that night on Owakess. He leans in, until his mouth is even with my ear, and he inhales softly.

“Taj is right. You do smell good.”

“Lemme guess – like delicious food.”

“Yes. But also your perfume.”

“I didn’t wear any,” I flush.

“Oh. Your shampoo, then. The smell of your skin, as it is naturally. You smell very charming.”

“Even if I smell like
zol
?”

“You only smell like it when you use it.”

We’re quiet, but he doesn’t lean back, instead nearing his lips to my ear.

“Even if you are
zol
, I will be with you. I promise.”

“Be with me?” I stutter and whirl around.

“I won’t run. If you’re really
zol
, people will run from you, or shun you. But I never will. I promise. You can rely on me, always.”

“You told me not to trust anyone. Not even you.”

“But you trusted me anyway,” He says. “You told me of your mother. And you listened to me about the cigarettes. You have trusted me in small ways, and for that I’m grateful. You were the first human to do so. So, thank
you
.”

A soft warmth spreads in my chest. The driveway and buildings are empty, the hills spread with lights like jetsam nets of opal. The stripped trees reach out to nothing. I shiver.

“You’ll catch a cold. Go back inside,” He says.

“Go back to your planet,” I counter with a smirk.

He laughs, warm and openly. There’s a good, clean, gentle silence. Diamond dust falls between us, the frozen air glittering. And in this moment, everything is easy, and beautiful, and nothing hurts.

It won’t last.

But I try to make it.

***

I stand outside Yulan’s door for my December check-up, and everything in me screams not to go in. Even though she was nice to me leading up to the Winter Ball, Raine and Yulan together will try to get me to leave again. But I screw my face up and push it open. For Alisa.

I’m greeted, not by Raine, but by a Gutter who looks almost exactly like an older, male version of her. He has a slender fox-like face, narrow, bright blue eyes, and a height that dwarfs even Yulan, who looks over a clipboard with him. The man’s skin, unlike Raine’s, is sickly-looking and pale. His head snaps up.

“Ah, you have a student visitor, Yulan.”

A flicker of panic crosses Yulan’s face when he sees me, but he quashes it quickly.

“Could you come back at another time? We’ll do your check-up then.”

“But –” I start.

“What’s the harm, Yulan?” The man laughs. “A check-up takes minutes. I can amuse myself until then.”

Yulan makes a little bow at him, and that’s when I realize he’s
sotho
. Illuminator
sotho
. Of course he is, with the eyes and all. But that bow cements it in my brain. Yulan sends me a sharp look as he readies the needle and blood analyzer.

“Don’t be afraid, child,” The man says. “Please, have a seat. I am Jerai, of the Illuminator
sotho
. I trust they’ve taught you what a
sotho
is here, at least?”

“Duh. That was like, the first thing,” I say, and sit on the stool slowly. Jerai chuckles.

“Indeed.”

I don’t particularily like the way this guy talks, but he’s Raine’s dad. I feel obligated to ask semi-polite questions, at least.

“So, do you come here often, Jerai? I mean, I haven’t seen many sotho who are adults on campus. Makes sense, since Colorado is so far away.”

Jerai nods. “I check up on things here every few months. It’s the money the Illuminator’s earned improving your human technology that funds this place, after all.”

“Ah, so you’re the guy who built it.”

“Your government helped,” He smiles, but nothing about his words sound modest. “Your people are very good at toiling away in the dirt.”

It’s a backhanded compliment. I tighten my expression so he can’t see my anger. Yulan shoots me another sharp, angry look as he draws my blood. Yulan? Angry? Never. It’s almost like he’s acting purposely out of character. But why?

Yulan’s fingers fumble with the vial, blood splattering in a flower of red on the tile. Yulan curses.

“Oh,
pas’ara
. I’ll get another one and wipe that up. Just give me a second.”

Jerai smiles at me. “You’ll have to forgive Yulan. He’s always been a bit lacking in the professionalism department.”

Yulan doesn’t even react to the insult, fishing out a rag and disinfectant spray and dutifully scrubbing at the floor.

“Yulan’s been more professional than any human doctor I’ve met,” I snap.

“Yes, well, that isn’t very hard now, is it?” Jerai’s smile crinkles his eyes, but he doesn’t blink. We stare at each other for a moment, me glaring and him glaring with his smile, until Yulan stands up and blocks our vision. He returns with a new needle and swabs my arm. As he’s drawing blood, he looks up at me. His eyes flicker to the door and back to me repeatedly. Does he want me to leave? Why can’t he say it out loud?

“
Kusun
!” The door suddenly bangs open, and Raine walks in. She stops, looks around at what’s happening and bows quickly. “I-I apologize for interrupting.”

She doesn’t say anything more, or even straighten. Jerai looks her over, his eyes glazing with what is clearly irritation. He sighs.

“
Daa’ma
.”

Raine straightens instantly upon hearing that.  “The human Principal wishes to see you. Something about a fund deficit?”

“And why would you have been speaking to him at all?” Jerai questions coolly. “We agreed you would not speak to figures of authority at this school. It is not your place.”

Raine’s too good. She wants to bristle, I know that look, but she doesn’t. She bows again, more shallow.

“I apologize. He called me in to question me on my whereabouts during the
zol
.”

At the word ‘
zol
’, Jerai looks sharply to me. I keep my face carefully blank, and he seems to be relieved by it. Yulan is taking his sweet time putting the blood vial in the analyzer, his hands moving slowly and fumbling. Since when does he fumble so much?

“We will speak of your word choice later,” Jerai says to Raine. “Not that a human would know of
zol
.”

He shoots me an oily sneer, and I resist the urge to sneer right back. He takes his leave without so much as a goodbye to Yulan or I, or even a glance at his daughter. When his footsteps fade, Raine strides over and grabs my hand.

“It was the most inopportune moment,” Yulan says quickly. “I’m sorry –”

“Don’t concern yourself, it was not your fault,” Raine says. “I’ve got it from here.”

“Ow, shit! You’re hurting my wrist, Raine,” I snap. “Oh, and newsflash; your dad’s a piece of fucking work.”

“There’s no time,” Raine replies. “You must come with me.”

“Uh, but my checkup – ”

“Your checkup nearly ruined everything just now,” Raine says. “Now come with me. I’ll explain when we’re in a place that’s safe to talk.”

“Yulan?” I look at him for help, but he shakes his head.

“It’s time you knew the truth, Victoria,” he sighs. “Asara save us all.”

“What? What truth? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Come
on
!” Raine pulls me. She’s surprisingly strong for her fragile body. She leads me through the halls, carefully avoiding the
mharata
and the path to the principal’s office. After what feels like an eternity of confused walking, she pulls me into a storeroom and shuts the door. It’s dim, a single lightbulb shedding light on shelves of cleaning supplies and boxes of extra toilet paper. Taj sits on an overturned bucket, jiggling his leg nervously, and Shadus leans against the wall with his eyes closed. But at the sound of us coming in, both of them start up.

“Finally,” Shadus drawls.

“Why bring Victoria?” Taj frowns.

“I’m just here for the booze,” I joke. But not even Taj smiles. Raine turns to face all of us.

“I have to tell you three at the same time. I was going to do it individually, to minimize suspicion, but there’s no time. The
mharata
will figure it out soon. So we have to act.”

“You have to tell us what’s going on first before we can act,” Shadus sighs. Raine turns to me, taking a deep breath.

“Victoria, you are the
zol
,” Raine turns to them. “She is the
zol
.”

Taj steps back like he’s been punched in the gut. “
What
?”

Shadus yawns. “I already knew that. I’ve told her that. I was with her when the second
zol
happened. It has a very potent scent.”

Raine turns to me. “He told you?”

“Yeah, but it’s obviously a joke,” I laugh. “I can’t be the
zol
. I’m not a Gutter.”

“Yes, she isn’t a Gutter,” Shadus says. “So why can she use
zol
, Raine?”

“I’m not using
zol
!” I snarl.

“Correct,” Shadus agrees. “You aren’t using it. Using would imply you have some control over it. But you don’t. It simply happens.”

“A human cannot be
zol
,” Taj insists.

“They can, if they react to Umala’s DNA,” Raine says icily. Shadus and Taj fall quiet.

“Umala’s?” I glare. “You mean the DNA in my EVE organ?”

Raine looks to Taj and Shadus, ignoring me.

“The
sotho
– our parents - came together before the implementation of the EVE program. They discovered that the human leaders never intended to let us leave. We are aliens – we provide advanced technology, and an insight into space travel. But most importantly we have a planet to go home to. A planet that houses eleven billion Gutters.”

Taj and I shoot each other confused looks, but Shadus steps in smoothly.

“The humans are afraid we’ll leave, and come back. With an army.”

I feel my breath snag in my throat. Raine nods.

“They’re not going to let us leave, Shadus. They’re going to kill us. All of us. And they’re going to make it look like an accident, so the general public doesn’t suspect anything. They’ve been building the plan for eleven years, and the first steps have been taken to implement it now.”

“This school,” Taj breathes. “Do you mean to say this school –”

“By the UN decree, cameras aren’t allowed on the reservation. They’ve tried to sneak them in before, but we’ve always found them. In here, they are allowed. Required. And there are no adults to destroy them, or protest them.”

I look up at the ceiling. Shadus shakes his head.

“I took care of the ones in here.”

“The US government has been gathering data,” Raine continues. “On us; our patterns, our intelligence quotient, our morals and our culture and our weaknesses.”

“But why would we –” I try to piece together my infuriated thoughts. “Why would kill you when we’re trying so hard to feed you? The EVE program –”

“To make us rely on you. And we do. We are crippled by the fact you are our sole source of food, and the fact the government controls the program. So our parents devised a fail-safe.”

Shadus knits his brows. Taj is so pale his gold eyes look like sap on snow. Raine puts her index fingers together, over her lips.

“The
Ki’eth
have hired Illuminators for centuries to research Umala’s body, and the secrets of
zol
. We’ve never been able to successfully grant the gift to any Gutter. Every single test subject dies. But gene AU984, the primary recombinant in charge of the
zol
gift, has a mortality rate of zero percent when introduced to human tissue. But neither does it produce immediate effects. There is a very, very specific sequence of human DNA that must be present to trigger the chain and set AU984 into active mode.”

“And the chances of that exact DNA sequence being present in a human at any given time?” Shadus asks lowly. Raine chews her lip.

“Approximately five in six billion, four hundred thirty-nine million, seventy-four thousand and twelve.”

“And one of them is here,” Taj breathes, and looks at me. I hold my hands up.

“Hey, wait a second. You want me to believe that out of six billion whatever, it’s me?
Six billion
? And it’s
me
? That’s impossible!”

“It is rather fortuitous,” Shadus mulls. “And almost unbelievable.”

“Unbelievable or not, that’s how it is,” Raine’s voice is harsh.

“So mother –” Taj frowns. “Mother and the other
sotho
planned this?”

 “It was a risky gamble,” Shadus says. “Plant Umala in every human who volunteers to feed us, and hope one of them reacted one day. And eleven years later, it works. They planted the seeds of a weapon, and now they want to harvest it.”

“I’m not a weapon! I’m a person!”

“We know. We know, Vic.
Zol
is –” Raine squeezes her eyes shut. “
Zol
is power. The smell-tapes I’ve seen…even one
zol
would be enough to threaten humanity. The
sotho
want to point the gun at humanity, and demand to be let free. And humankind…despite their bullets, their missiles, their nuclear weapons – all of that pales in comparison to
zol
.”