Fear the Dead (Book 4) (26 page)

I went to reach for the zipper, but
Billy put his arm out.

“Can’t do that, Kyle. Can’t risk
infection inside the tent.”

“What’s going on in there?”

Mel looked at Billy. Her stare was
grave. Billy turned his head and looked down at the ground as if his boots had
suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world.

“You were out of it after the battle,”
said Mel. “Shivering and talking about something. Mumbling about a Dead God.
You looked like shit, so we let you sleep. Then when we needed to come wake
you, we couldn’t. You just wouldn’t budge.”

“What she’s saying is,” said Billy,
“We tried to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

My pulse started to pound, and my
chest tightened with anxiety. I remembered the book Lou had left on my bed.
Chaos
in a Chaotic World
. I hoped that I had remembered to bring it when we left
camp.

“It’s like this Kyle,” said Mel. “Charlie’s
in there with Lou, and he’s ordered that nobody goes in. Can’t risk germs or
anything like that.”

I thought I already knew the answer,
but I needed to ask the question.

“And why is that?”

Melk took a deep breath. Her face was
white.

“He’s amputating her leg,” she
answered. “Kendal is helping him.”

“There was no choice, Kyle,” said
Billy. “Either that, or put her in the ground. It stank, honestly. Worst wound
I’ve ever seen.”

It was another item on the list of
our failings, but I knew now that they weren’t all mine. I couldn’t go on
blaming myself for things that were just a product of the screwed-up world. It
wasn’t my fault that Ben’s mum had died, that Reggie had gotten infected, or
that Lou had broken her leg.

I had thought that I needed to be a
leader and be responsible for everyone’s safety. I had never wanted kids with
my wife Clara, but now it was like I was trying to play father to fifty-odd
people. Even to adults who had kids of their own. I needed to let it go.

***

Hours later the sun dimmed and then
fell completely, and the stars shone faintly in the cloudless sky. The boat was
fully stocked with all the provisions that we had collected while in camp.
Dusty and his pulley had painstakingly transported everyone across the water until
only a few of us were left on shore.

I didn’t like the idea of getting in
the rowboat again. It seemed like I still had the chill in me from last time I
was in it. I could still feel the water on my skin, so freezing that it
scorched me.

I was glad that Ben was already on
the fishing boat. Darla had volunteered to take him across with her, and she said
she would look out for him.
“Always knew I had a maternal instinct in me
somewhere
,” she had told me.

I stood on the shore with Billy, Mel
and Al. Al seemed on edge, like a kid going on a trip that his parents had
promised for months. Mel seemed as full of energy as usual. Out of everyone in
camp, and everyone who I had travelled with, nobody had impressed me more than
her. The change in her over the last year was astounding.

“Kyle,” said Billy. “Can I have a
word with you?”

“We better make it quick,” I said.
“Al’s going to wet himself with excitement.”

The boat would be setting off in less
than an hour, as soon as we got on board. We had told Dusty to get in the
rowboat, and Billy and Al used his pulley to get him across shore.

Amidst the preparations of the final
day, there had been a buzz around the dock. The sadness of the last few days
was also laying there somewhere, but it seemed that everyone wanted a respite
from it. The idea of a safe haven down south seemed to promise that. I found it
hard to believe that just down the channel there was a place waiting for us
that was free from danger. I desperately wanted to put my trust in it.

I had always been a cynical guy, but
even I had surrendered myself to the idea. I wanted to walk around free from
tension in my shoulders. Just once I would have liked to step out somewhere and
leave my knife at home. Hell, I would have killed to have somewhere to even
call home. If Al was right, then that was what we’d all have soon enough.

Billy and I went away from the
others. He kicked some pebbles as he walked and sent them scattering out in
front of him. Finally, we stopped.

“What’s up, Billy?” I said.

“I thought you better know
something,” he answered.

“Go on.”

“When I was out in the Wilds, I did a
lot of travelling,” he said. “Covered a lot of ground on the quad bike.”

“How the hell did you keep that thing
running?”

“Lots of vegetable oil. But that’s
not the point. Listen, Kyle. Thing is, while I was travelling, I saw Justin out
there.”

My heart froze. I had always
suspected Justin was alive. I’d spent hours searching for him myself, but I’d
never turned anything up. Even hearing my friend was out there was enough to
send shocks through me.

“You’re sure?” I said.

Billy nodded. “Miles out west. In a
place that was pretty damn strange; I sure as hell wouldn’t want to go there
again.”

“Did you talk to him?”

Billy shook his head.

“Why the hell not?” I said.

Billy was silent for a few seconds.
The tide lapped toward us, running over the pebbles and stopping a few feet
short of our boots.

“He’s different,” said Billy. “If you
saw him, you’d know what I mean. I couldn’t even get near him.”

A horn blasted out across the water.
It came from the ship, and it was a signal that they had to leave. The winds
were blowing in a southerly direction, and it had been decided earlier that the
boat would go while they blew that way. If nature wanted to give us a push, we
had to take advantage.

“What do you mean, different?” I
said.

“Kyle, I can’t explain it. I don’t
ever want to go back there, and you’d understand if you saw it.”

It was too much to process. I felt uneasiness
spread through my chest. A day of rest hadn’t been enough; all my energy seeped
out of me and I felt like I could climb into bed for another week.

“Better go, people,” said Al.
“Someone make sure the windows are locked and the oven is turned off. We’re
going on a trip.” He turned to Mel. “Did you tell the milkman not to deliver
for the next couple of weeks?”

Mel ignored him. Her boots crunched
across the stones as she joined Billy and me.

“What’s going on?” she said. “We
better go.”

I looked at her.

“Justin’s alive.”

Her eyes went wide.

“Oh shit,” were the only words she
could manage. I knew she didn’t mean it as a curse word, but as an expression
of shock.

I nodded.

“That was pretty much my reaction.”

The three of us stood there, not
knowing what to say or do. I watched the boat across the water. In the darkened
sky I couldn’t make out the people on deck anymore, but I knew that they stood
there waiting. Some would be gripping the rails on the deck so hard that their
fingers would turn white, such was their excitement about leaving.

I could never deny them the things
that Al had promised. At the same time, I knew now that I couldn’t join them.
If Justin was out there, I had to look for him. He had nobody but us, and I
knew that if I left on the boat, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.

***

It took twenty minutes for us to use
the pulley to get Al across the water. When the rope tightened we knew that he
had reached the side of the fishing boat. Five minutes later a flashlight
blinked twice in the night sky and we knew then that he was safely on board.

The horn roared out, shattering the
evening peace. The ship started to slip away through the dark curtain of night
in front of it, rocking over the gentle waves. I sat down on the pebbles. It
was a rough seat, but I got over the discomfort and watched as the ship moved
further away until finally, it started to disappear.

Part of me wanted to be with them. I
wanted not just to believe in the haven that Al promised, but I wanted to see
if myself. I wanted to feel the tension slacken in my muscles when I knew that
not every day was going to be a struggle for survival.

Instead I sat on shore as the cold closed
around me. I pulled my coat closer to my chin and shivered.

An arm wrapped over my shoulder, and
I felt my body warm as someone else tucked themselves against me in a hug. I
didn’t move away from it.

“Think Lou will be okay?” I said.

“Yeah,” said Mel, gripping me. “And
we’ll join them one day. We just need to find Justin.”

“Thanks for coming with me.”

“It was all bullshit,” said Mel.
“Everything I said before. I just couldn’t face thinking about him and not
knowing if he was even alive.”

“He’s my buddy. I know how you feel.”

“You never thought he was dead, did
you?” said Mel.

I shook my head. “Not for a second.”

Boots crunched on the stones behind
us. Billy let out a sigh.

“I’m starting to regret agreeing to
come,” he said. “Can you two finish your moment so we can start moving?”

I stood up. My knees ached as I got
to my feet. I looked behind us and knew that somewhere, beyond the endless
fields and craggy hills, was Justin.

The ship was going now, headed
hundreds of miles over the sea and into the darkness, where eventually it would
emerge into safety. Some of us had made it, at least, and knowing that made
even the biting Scottish wind seem warmer. I stood up and started to walk with
my friends into the night.

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Copyright August 2016 by Jack Lewis. All
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