Fearless (Broken Love Book 5) (9 page)

KEIRAN

I practically ran
from the conference room to keep from doing something that would make our situation worse. How the fuck could she ask me not to protect her and at the same time, assume the worse about me? It seemed as if Mitch’s murder was bringing to light everything that remained unresolved between us.

She still didn’t trust me.

I didn’t think Lake would ever lie to me, but with each secret, I felt the pressing need to protect myself from her—to distance myself from her and the ache she was causing in my chest. Her fearless chase was breaking us.

“Why are you walking away?” I heard her call out once we were in the dark parking garage.

“I’m not. I’m running away from doing something we’ll both regret. Don’t push me right now.”

“When are we going to stop running away from each other? I fucked up, but I’m not your enemy so stop treating me like I am.”

What? She thought I was treating
her
like the enemy?

I pivoted on my heel and ate up the distance between us. One quick glance around showed we were alone. I grabbed her and forced her against my chest. She refused to submit. I could see it in her eyes, but she wasn’t fighting me, either because her mind still cautioned her that a part of me was still dangerous.

“I used to think that no one or nothing could make me turn back because there was nothing worth losing you over. I never counted on you being the one.”

Her gaze narrowed with suspicion clouding the blue-green coloring of her eyes. “What does that mean?”

It means I’d give anything—sacrifice anyone—to save her.

“It means get in the car. I’m taking you home.”

I released her and waited for her to obey. For her sake and mine, she stepped around me and got in. I didn’t move until I heard the door close. When I got in, I turned up the volume and let the heavy guitar of Meg Meyer’s Desire fill the tension between us.

Every dark desire she confessed to I wanted with Lake, and when I got her alone, there was nothing that would stop me from seeing it through. She had forgotten my claim on her mind and body. It would be my pleasure reminding her.

For eleven hours, the anticipation built, and she became more nervous with each passing hour. I could almost tell what she was thinking in the way she’d wring her hands or tap her foot. The nervous glances she didn’t think I caught were a dead giveaway.

She was scared and trying hard not to feel it. She nearly jumped out of her skin when I slid my hand across the console and gripped her bare thigh. The tight skirt she wore was modestly sexy and left me hard all day. I couldn’t stop thinking about the feel of her thighs wrapped around me as I took what I wanted.

It was late when I pulled into the driveway and night had fallen hours ago. I was dead tired, and I could see the same in her eyes when she glanced at me nervously as I shut off the engine. Silently, I gathered our bags and we entered our rented house. The door shutting was like the closing of a bad chapter in our life, and I wondered how much worse I would have to make it before it got better.

“I’m going to pack a bag and stay with a friend.” She spoke so timidly that the finality of her words was almost missed.

“Come again?”

She lifted her chin and said, “I think we should spend a night apart.”

“You think so, do you?” She slowly nodded but suddenly, looked unsure of her answer. “What makes you think I’m letting you go anywhere?”

“How are you going to keep me here?”

I laughed at her counter but felt none of the humor. It was as if she didn’t know me at all. “How?” I repeated. Her face wrinkled in confusion, but then she must have seen it in my eyes because at the very next moment, she ran.

She fucking ran.

And just like the monster I was, I chased.

She had no idea what had reawakened in me due to her lies.

When I caught her in the kitchen and turned her around to witness the fear in her eyes, I felt the painful feeling of regret that quickly disappeared when I reminded myself this was all because of her lies.

As hard as I tried to be, I couldn’t take the look in her eyes so I forced her around and bent her over the nearest flat surface, which happened to be the table. With a forceful kick, I sent one of the chairs flying across the room to bounce off the wall and stepped behind her.

“What you think is no longer a concern, and frankly, I don’t give a shit.”

“Let me go now, or I swear you’ll be sorry when you do.”

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s a guarantee.”

I froze. The ice in her voice did that. It should have deterred me, but it only convinced me that only the old me—the monster—could stop her from being reckless. I needed her to fear me again.

“The only guarantee is when I’m through that you won’t be able to walk.” My fingers scratched her skin, causing her to cry out when I forced her skirt around her waist and tore away her panties until they were bunched around her thighs. I snatched open my jeans and released the painful erection I managed to conceal all day. One pass of my fingers over her heated pussy revealed she was wet and eager.

Without hesitation, I entered her with everything I had and stole her cry with my hand over her mouth. The force of my entrance drove her to the tips of her toes. Her body shook with the pleasure she didn’t want to feel. I gripped her neck with the hand that covered her mouth, pushed her flat, and used my own weight to keep her there as I gave it to her in a way she’d never forget and would eventually crave.

I let
him
take over and hoped that one day she would forgive me.

“Do you remember me?” I forced myself deeper inside her, wanting to hear that little breathless sound she made when it hurt so good. “Is he who you wanted?”

“I want you,” she moaned. “I don’t want this.”

I didn’t want this either…

“I wish I could believe you.” I tortured her clit with my fingers until she came on my cock with a scream that only made my dick harder. She writhed against the table as if seeking more, unaware that I was about to give her more than she could handle.

I brushed her lips with my fingers. “Suck.”

She obeyed and took the digits inside her hot mouth. I left her body and surveyed my dick, which was sufficiently coated with her juices, as she eagerly tasted my fingers as if it were my dick. That all came to a halt when I began to enter her. My fingers fell from her mouth when she let out a startled cry.

“Keiran,” she whimpered. “What are you—”

“I intend to fuck you again. I’m going to take your ass. Make you submit. Don’t fight it,” I cooed when she struggled. “Breathe.”

I was half way inside her when she finally began to give up the fight. I pressed a kiss on her spine as a reward and slid the rest of the way home. A violent shudder passed through me when I was fully seated, and I was pretty sure Lake had stopped breathing altogether.

“Breathe, baby. I need you to breathe.” I waited for the first breath and moved on the exhale. “Good girl.” I didn’t prepare her for what came next. I simply took.

Hard and unrelenting, I fucked her, demanding her submission while fighting not to give in myself. She owned me, and she didn’t even know it.

Her breathless cries filled with pain and pleasure was a shock to my system, driving my hips into her harder. She sucked me in. The need to come built with each stroke until I couldn’t fight it anymore.

LAKE

The need to
run had been present—screaming even—since leaving Nevada. Touching me, fucking me, taking me was the boy I had fallen in love with, but not the man who made me feel safe and loved. He moved inside me with a relentless power I hadn’t felt since he blackmailed me five years ago. Even more surprising was the excitement I felt remembering a much darker Keiran and the way he would fuck me unapologetically.

A strange, foreign part of me didn’t want to be taken. I wanted to conquer him the same way he sought to conquer me. With a secret smile he couldn’t see, I took a less submissive stand and braced my hands closer to my body, transferring my weight to my hands. 

“Lake,” he grunted.

His fingers dug into the skin of my hips, and I could feel him watching me. I took a peek over my shoulder and found his eyes staring seductively at half-mast but watching me just as intently.

“What are you—” I held his gaze as I made my next move and lifted my right leg, placing it on the edge of the table. “Oh, baby,” he moaned.

Confident that he held me securely, I hooked my right arm around his neck, twisting my upper body and bringing our faces close together. His eyes widened with wariness and surprise.

“If my big, bad wolf wants to conquer me, he’ll have to do better.”

Challenge replaced surprise when his eyes narrowed. I could feel his chest rumble as he growled and fucked me impossibly harder. He lost the struggle with his conscience and forced me back against the tabletop. When his thrusts turned desperate, his fingers found my pussy and stroked me until I trembled and came apart under him.

When I didn’t think our fucking could turn anymore animalistic, he ripped my shirt up the back, pulled from my ass with a savage growl, and spurted his come on my back. I collapsed against the table, both sated and outraged. My legs couldn’t hold me up for long, so I collapsed but was caught in his arms and carried toward the stairs.

“In case you didn’t catch that, you can’t leave.”

I didn’t have the strength to argue so I let him carry me to the shower. I even let him wash my hair and bathe me, and when he put me to bed, I didn’t argue. Almost immediately, he fell into a deep sleep with me anchored to him by an arm tight around my waist. After ten minutes of careful maneuvering, I managed to escape our bed. I quietly dug out the handcuffs he liked to use during our frisky days and handcuffed his hands together. It wouldn’t restrain him for long, but it would slow him down.

I dressed, put the key in the bathroom sink, and sent him a text with the location. He’d wake before morning, and I knew when he did, he would tear the house apart looking for me before he’d think to free himself.

I didn’t stop to pack a bag or even have second thoughts. I escaped the apartment, his anger, and ultimately, the doom of our relationship.

I was mentally and physically exhausted so I relished the short drive. The apartments were pretty nice and also ridiculously expensive. I made my way up to the top floor, knocked and waited. My spine was slowly giving out with each second I stood outside the apartment door. The need to run and beg for forgiveness clawed its way inside and threatened to rip out my newfound spine. After I felt as if I’d been bathed in sweat, the door finally opened.

Jesse stood in the entrance, shirtless with sleep-tussled hair. His eyebrow lifted and his mouth quirked as he gripped the door. With his brown, curly hair and surfer’s body, he was every girl’s—or guy’s—heartthrob. His sexual preference was still in question and was a subject neither of us ever felt the need to bring up. Keiran had reluctantly told me about the kiss with Q after I remarked on the noticeable tension between them. I’d never suspected Jesse might be gay, but once I knew, it somehow started to make sense.

“Don’t you think he’s going to look for you here?” he greeted.

I took that as an invitation and ducked under his arm. “I’m not trying to hide from him. I’m just trying to get away from him.”

“It’s Keiran. You’d need to hide to get away. You know he’s coming after you.”

“You’ll protect me.”

He snorted and disappeared down the hall. “So what happened?” he yelled from what I assumed was his bedroom.

“Oh, Keiran being Keiran and me trying not to be intimidated by him.”

“You think he still wants to intimidate you?”

“He thinks he’s protecting me by making me afraid of him again.”

He didn’t respond right away, but then I heard a hesitant, “Are you?”

“No.” And surprisingly, it was true. Keiran was trying to hold us together the only way he knew how, and it only made me sad for what I did to us.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I know my wolf,” I whispered wistfully. Here I was, running from him and lusting after him at the same time. God, I needed therapy.

I didn’t think he’d hear me, but then he said, “All right, Red.” He emerged from his bedroom and tossed a wad of clothes at me. “I’m assuming you don’t have anything to sleep in. Shower’s free if you need it.”

Keiran had meticulously washed away his release from my back, and I wondered if it was out of guilt for degrading me the way he had. I used Jesse’s spare bedroom to change into his t-shirt and flannel, then I walked into the kitchen in time to see and hear Jesse end a call and open the refrigerator while trying too hard to look unassuming.

He avoided my gaze and I grew suspicious. “Who was that?”

“What?”

“Who were you on the phone with?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

He hesitated and then pulled out a carton of milk. “Your man.”

I ignored the flutter in my stomach and watched Jesse disappear inside the spacious pantry to grab a box of cereal. How did he find me so fast?

“He called you?”

“No. I called him.”

I felt my eyes narrow, but it didn’t matter. Jesse had yet to look at me. “I’m beginning to question whose friend you really are.”

“He’s my partner, Lake. What did you expect?”

“You’re
my friend
! God—” I yelled. I immediately turned on my heel and stormed from the kitchen. I could hear him chasing after me, and I sped up.

“Lake wait.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“You can’t leave. He knows you’re here, but I convinced him to stay away for the night. If you leave, he’ll drag you back home and that’s the last thing you two need right now. He told me what you did to him. I have to say… I’m impressed.” He sounded amused and proud.

“I’m not looking for compliments, asshole. You sold me out.” I ran for the spare bedroom and snatched up my clothes. Screw the both of them and their men code. I heard Jesse’s knock but ignored it as I ripped off his shirt and replaced it with my own. I hated putting on worn clothing after showering, but there was no way I was staying with Keiran’s guard dog all night. It was as if he was still winning—still in control. Fuck that.

Jesse did everything he could, minus physical restraint, to stop me from leaving. I flipped him off and fled the apartment.

Keiran was the ass, and yet I was roaming the city in the middle of the night. At that moment, it was hard for me to believe that much had changed about us. Exhausted, I spent the night in a hotel where I should have gone in the first place. By morning, I wasn’t any more prepared to face Keiran so I shopped for toiletries and a change of clothes. I then drove five and half hours to the only ally that I had left.

“Whoa, girly. What are you doing here?” Di answered the door, appearing wide awake and wearing a crop top and sweatpants. “Keiran lets you out to play this far?”

“I need a distraction, and I need you to keep your mouth closed about it.”

“Don’t tell me there’s trouble in paradise.”

“Di…”

“Fine. Come in.” She moved away and let me inside. I followed her into the living room where she plopped down on the couch. “But I want to know what turned you into such a raging bitch.”

“I’m not raging.”

“But you are acting like a bitch. So spill.”

“Mitch is dead,” I blurted.

“I heard.”

“And it’s because of me,” I finished solemnly.

“No fucking way,” she grinned. I shook my head at her misplaced enthusiasm.

“I didn’t kill him.”

“But you wanted to.”

I so fucking wanted to.

“Have you met his father?”

“No, but I’ve heard he’s a real catch.”

“Where are you getting your information from?”

“My bestie,” she sighed and lay back against the cushions and threw her left leg over the top. “How is he adapting to daddyhood, anyway?”

“Keenan? He rules with an iron fist,” I said sarcastically.

“So, what did you have to do with Mitch’s murder and kudos to you, bitch. He needed to be put down a long time ago.”

“I went there to kill him, but Q stopped me.”

Di stiffened and her eyes dulled as she stared at me in disbelief. “Q—Quentin was there?”

“He followed me out there the day Keiran went away for business. Apparently, he was assigned to be my watchdog.”

“Ever the obedient little slave,” she whispered absentmindedly. She stared off, appearing lost. Her body trembled ever so slightly.

“Di?” It took three tries of calling her name to bring her back from wherever she had been trapped.

“Yeah?”

“Where did you go?”

“Somewhere I have no intention of sharing with you or anyone, girly.”

“Maybe you should talk about it,” I mumbled.

“What?” Her tone was angry, but her green eyes were wide as vulnerability burst from their depths. Di had always been a puzzle, but right now, she looked like a frightened girl.

“You don’t talk about your past, but it’s clear your past is what haunts you. Therapy might—”

Her eyes narrowed into angry slits, and it shut me up. “Do you want to be kicked out of my apartment?”

“Ok, I won’t go there, but can I just say one thing?”

She clenched her teeth and shifted. “What?”

“Fuck being afraid.”

I could tell she tried to fight it, but she finally cracked a smile and gained back that sarcastic twinkle in her eye. “You kill a man and you grow a pair of balls.”

“I think it’s the other way around.”

She snorted and said, “Not for you it isn’t. Want to get a mani?”

We spent the day getting pampered and spent the night drinking away our issues. I expected Keiran to be lurking around every corner, but as it turned out, I didn’t see or hear from him for two days.