Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3) (19 page)

“You OK?” he asked gently stroking her hair.

“I just feel tired. Let’s just eat and go to bed.” She just wanted to lie in his arms.

He’d made chicken and noodles
, and Carlee enjoyed it, but he noticed the tiny bites she took. “It’s really good,” she said when she saw him watching her. “I just don’t seem to have an appetite this evening.”

“
Feeling sick?”

“No, just
really tired,” she replied.

After he was done eating
, Carlee remained at the table while he cleaned up the kitchen. When he was done, she asked about a shower. Geni was taking her for radiation in the morning, and she didn’t want to have to deal with a shower beforehand.

They got in the shower
, and Matthew noticed that she could barely keep her eyes open. Afterward, they crawled into bed, and Carlee curled into his arms.

“Are you sure you are OK? I’m worried about you. Can I get you something?”

“I’m fine, just tired. Just hold me,” she said and was asleep in no time.

~ ~ ~

Geni came early the next morning, and Carlee seemed better to Matthew than she had the evening before. While she finished getting ready, Matthew told Geni about the previous evening.

“She was really puny, out of sorts,” he said in a sad voice.

“They told us this, Matthew.”

“I know
; I guess I thought it would take a little longer,” he said sadly.

“Our beautiful butterfly will emerge again soon. You just remember that!” Geni said.

Carlee emerged from their bedroom. “Ready!” she said in a happy voice.

“Well you sound much better this morning!” Matthew laughed.

“I put my big-girl panties on, slapped on a happy-face, and thanked the Lord that I’m alive! Let’s go, Geni!”

She stopped halfway out the door and went back to Matthew. Stretching up on her
tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he lifted her off the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist and whispered loud enough for Geni to hear, “I love you, husband! Go work!”

~ ~ ~

Once they were in the car and on their way, Geni turned to her, saw her curled in the seat with her head leaned back and her eyes closed. “Faker.”

“Our secret
, OK? He was so upset last night worrying ‘cuz I didn’t feel good. I’m afraid it’s gonna get worse and he’s not gonna like me all pitiful.”

Geni listened and wanted to cry. She made a mental note to talk to him.

“Here we are,” Geni said.

“Yay.
” Carlee said sarcastically and got out of the car. She was happy to find Kyliejo and Johanna inside. “Good morning.”

“Hey
, Carlee!” the little girl said. As Carlee introduced Geni, she had a flashback of Ronnie from camp.

“How are you this morning?” Carlee asked her.

“I’m good,” she said in her thick accent. Carlee noticed the smile on her face as she spoke and slapped hers on. She didn’t want to look as miserable as she felt for Kyliejo.

She feels better than me
.
Carlee thought, and dreaded the next few days for her. Kyliejo was two rounds of radiation behind her. She put her happy face forward and spoke to her for a few minutes until finally the door opened to the treatment area.

“Carlee, good morning
,” Tamara said. “Ready?”

“
I’ll see you later, rad buddy,” the little girl said and giggled like it was the funniest thing she’d ever said.

“
Kyliejo, Seth will be here in a few minutes for you.”

“I’ll see you later,” Carlee said as she turned to go.

“You look a little pale; are you OK this morning?” Tamara asked.

“Felt kinda pun
y last night, not as bad this morning, but still not feeling swell,” she said with a light sarcastic laugh.

“I’m sorry for that
. It affects everyone differently and it seems as though you are reacting quickly to the side effects. I can give you something to make it easier. You can start taking it whenever you think you need it. One for mood, one for food,” she smiled.

~ ~ ~

After Carlee was gone, Geni picked up her tablet and started to read. They came for Kyliejo a few minutes later, and she closed the tablet and decided to strike up a conversation with Johanna, and they talked about Kyliejo.

“She seems like a happy little girl,” Geni smiled.

“She’s a bright spirit, in spite of all she’s been through...” she trailed off a moment, deep in thought. Finally she looked up; Geni was watching her; “Four years is a long time going through something like this.”

“I can’t imagine. Carlee is my first real experience with anything like this.”

“And you are Matthew’s mom,” she said the words, but it came out more of a question.

“I am. What a treasure she is to me
in so many ways. I adore that beautiful young woman.”

They talked a bit longer
, and Geni noticed Johanna fighting back tears. She moved over to sit beside her and slipped her arm around the young woman’s shoulder. “I can’t say it will be alright, but I can say that I understand, somewhat.” She told Johanna a little about her experience at Butterfly Camp, and finally Carlee returned.

She offered a weak smile to
Johanna and sat down. “Just need a minute,” she said to Geni in a whisper of a voice. “Really not feeling so well.” Geni noticed how pale she was as she curled over with her head on the arm of the sofa and rested a moment.

When Carlee finally heard the door rattle as someone began to open it, she sat up.
Kyliejo emerged and went straight to Carlee and hugged her.

“
I’m glad you’re still here. Same time tomorrow,” she chirped in a happy voice.

“
I was waiting for you,” Carlee winked at Johanna. “I’ll be happy to see you tomorrow.”

~ ~ ~

They left the center, and Carlee curled into the seat of the car, dozing most of the short trip home. Geni called on the way, and when they arrived at the flat, Andy was waiting to walk with Carlee to the elevator. She looked wiped out. He helped her settle in on the sofa while Geni made a bite of lunch that Carlee didn’t eat. Matthew called Geni between classes, to ask how she was doing.

“She’s
not feeling so well, resting just now. Listen, I have something I need your help with at our place. Can you meet me there before you go up to your place?”

“Sure, sure,” he replied. “I gotta get back to class. I love you.”

Andy tossed the small quilt over her, and Carlee napped awhile. He stayed there rubbing her back until she fell asleep. He tried to read, but watched her sleep instead. She looked so beautiful, and he remembered every time he’d watched her sleep, in her life with him. He loved her so much and hated that they were going through this.

~ ~ ~

Matthew knocked on the door to the flat, and Geni answered. “Wow,” he said. “You are really settling in nicely.”

“Andy’s staying with her and just sent a text that she was still asleep. Have a cup of coffee with me?”

He said, “Sure,” but felt that she wanted to talk to him about something. He knew her ways.

She poured
them coffee and sat with him at the kitchen table. “Thanks for joining me,” she said and smiled.

“What’s up? I know how you tick,” he laughed. “Are you pregnant or something?”

“Oh, hell no! Don’t even have those parts anymore, remember?” she laughed. “I just wanted to share a conversation with you that Carlee shared with me on the way to treatment this morning.”

“Everything OK?” he asked, suddenly concerned.

“I think so; I just wanted to tell you a concern she expressed. When we got in the car and started on our way, she had a totally different demeanor than when we left you. I told her she was a big faker, and she said these words to me. “Our secret OK? He was so upset last night ‘cuz I didn’t feel good. I’m afraid it’s gonna get worse and he’s not gonna like me all pitiful.”

She paused a moment to let Matthew process and then said, “
She’s a good faker, Matthew. When she came out from treatment she sat down for a few minutes because she didn’t feel well, but as soon as Kyliejo came out, Carlee put a happy smile on her face. And as soon as we were in the car she was back to miserable.”

“Oh Mom,” he said with a sad voice. “I was just worried about her. I don’t ever want her to feel like she has to put on
a show for me. I hurt for her because
I know
it’s gonna get worse.” He ran his hand through his hair thinking. “I need to learn what to do to help her.”

She rose from her
seat and stood behind his chair. With her arms around his neck, she leaned to hug him. “We all do.”

~ ~ ~

He went up to their flat, and Andy left them alone. Carlee was sitting up in the corner seat of the recliner. “Wow, you look good!” he said as he curled up beside her.

“I slept all afternoon,” she
told him. “I wanted to be awake and alert for you. I missed you today.” She curled into his arms. It was the first treatment that he didn’t go to with her.

“I’
m so glad for the early appointment so I can get home and be rested when you get in.”

Matthew pulled her onto his lap. “Is this OK?” he asked holding her.

“
This
is wonderful,” she said and curled tighter into his arms. “
This
is the best place in the whole world.”

He thought a moment, kissed the top of her head
, and she turned to look up at him. “I’m sorry we have to go through this, but I want you to know that I’m going to be here, highs, lows and all the in-betweens. You don’t need to put your ‘big girl panties and happy face’ on. I want you to be how you feel, however you feel, and I’ll do my very best to be whatever you need from me. I love you Carlee; you’re my everything – in sickness and health,” he reminded her and ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her close and they shared a passionate kiss.

Quietly, she rested in his arms
a moment and then whispered in his ear, “I love you, Matthew. How ‘bout a shower before dinner?”

“Whatever you want,” he said.

“Really?” she asked with a seductive laugh…

“Let me fire off a text to Mom
; you know she’s fixing something for dinner,” he smiled. Taking his phone he typed out four words:

She wants a shower
.

~ ~ ~

An hour later, Geni and Andy joined them for dinner. Carlee picked at her plate, eating little bits of everything. They all watched her, but no one said anything. “It’s good,” she said as she noticed them watching her. “I just haven’t got much of an appetite.”

After a while,
Geni said, “Hey, you like chocolate, right?”

Carlee looked up and nodded.

“I think while you’re in treatment tomorrow, I’ll run and get some of those protein shakes for you.”

“
Chocolate shakes! Oh, that sounds so good!”

Matthew looked at Geni and gave her a wink.

~ ~ ~

Andy
got a call from Nathan later that evening, and he stepped out on the balcony to take the call. “Have you thought anymore about us getting together for the cancer benefit? Roddy has something in the works.”

“Do tell,” Andy said, laughing at the excitement in his friend’s voice.

“He’s been working with PRI, and they have the Royal Albert Hall booked. It’s not carved in stone; they’re waiting on your OK.”

“Can you let
them know that I’ll do it, but I have a request?”

“
Milky Way candy bars, roses in your dressing room, Perrier, Mr. Rock Star?” Nathan laughed.

“No, bigger. There’s a girl here who I want to be part of this.
I’ll call the Cancer Foundation.”

“Gi
ve me 24 and I’ll call you back,” Nathan said.

“
What’s the date?”

“
March 16.”

“Later
, my friend.” He returned to the living room and sat quietly a moment.

“What’s going on in there?” Carlee asked
, tapping the side of her head.

“Music.”

“Writing?” she asked as Matthew and Geni looked on.

“Performing.”

“What?” Carlee said excitedly.

“
With all that’s been going on, I forgot to tell you that Nathan called a while back to tell me about a telethon in the works for a cancer patient in Minnesota, and they requested Traveler to participate.”