Female Ejaculation (49 page)

If you ejaculate enough, you’ll be able to prove this to yourself quite quickly. You may need to add more and more lubrication from the outside as the watery fluid washes away the thicker, more slippery, friction-fighting fluids.

This has happened to us all too often. Jeffre’s common practice is to squirt or dribble repeatedly during our lovemaking. As a result, her thin ejaculate washes away our preferred sexual lubricant, which we use during intercourse to reduce friction and increase sensation. Reapplying the lube is just a routine part of our lovemaking as we pause at peaks and plateaus of ecstasy.

As Gräfenberg pointed out, female ejaculate gushes, squirts, or dribbles at orgasm. Our experience is that it can be a trickle, a flood of two cups, or anything in between. You may have seen videos where the woman gushes a great deal. Some of you may not become big gushers like this, but you can have a fantastic time learning how to flow your waters at your own level.

The amount of ejaculate seems to vary with age, menstrual cycle, genetic factors, diet, physical apparatus, hydration, relationship comfort, and psychological barriers. We believe that many women already ejaculate but don’t know it. It’s highly likely that every highly aroused woman ejaculates a bit at orgasm. But not knowing about the possibility, many aren’t aware of it. They may be dribbling such a small amount of fluid that they and their partners don’t notice it.

Some women ejaculate every time they have sex, and some experience it only with certain lovers and certain types of loveplay. Some experience it rarely, while others flow only at certain times during their monthly cycle. Once you’re practiced, you’ll find out what kind of an ejaculator you are.

We know ejaculators who gush repeatedly and voluminously. Some self-appointed experts declare that women will ejaculate four or five times before they’re spent. It’s our experience that an experienced woman can regenerate quite quickly, maybe within 30 minutes, particularly when she’s in the O-Zone.

The point we’re making here is that women are different from each other and from time to time. Don’t try to predict when and how much you’re going to expel or develop strong expectations. Performance anxiety doesn’t help. On the contrary, it actually impedes the flow.

Exactly where does female ejaculate come from? You’ve read the historical accounts that it’s expelled from the urethra, which is the canal that conducts urine out of the body. It’s about 1 to 1-1/2 inches (2 to 3 cm) long and lies just above the vagina’s upper front wall under the skin. The opening of the urethra is just inside or slightly above the vagina’s mouth.

Our friend, Dr. Gary Schubach, also known as “Doctor G,” proved in his doctoral research that female ejaculate is emitted from the urethra. He studied several copious ejaculators and, by completely emptying their bladders of urine first, clearly identified ejaculate issuing from the same place as urine — the urethral opening. Even though it comes from the same place, however, don’t forget that ejaculate has been proven to
not
be urine.

The entire urethral canal is surrounded by a series of up to 40 spongy little glands and ducts that carry the name
paraurethral sponge
. That’s because “para” means “beside, near, or alongside.” It’s the paraurethral glands which make the tissue sensitive, erectile, and can secrete fluid in times of high arousal. The G-spot is a part of this tissue.

Because ejaculate fluid is so similar in composition to male prostatic fluid (without the sperm cells), and the genetic origin of the sponge is the same as the male prostate, sexologists today call this tissue the
female prostate
.

Foremost among them are Dr. Milan Zaviacic, a medical professor at Comenius University in Bratislava, Slovakia. In 1999, he published twenty years of studies of women’s prostates documenting their nature, configuration, and emissions. As a result of his and others’ research, we know that the female prostate or paraurethral sponge contributes to female ejaculate because of the unique chemicals contained in the ejaculate.

Zaviacic also documented the different configurations of these glands, most near the vagina’s mouth. As a result of all of these studies, there is now a consensus that female ejaculate is the secretion of both the paraurethral glands.

Jeffre has always been a highly sexual woman and powerfully orgasmic. Since she practices and exercises frequently, she’s developed extremely strong sexual muscles in her pelvis. As you’ve heard, the strength of these PC muscles determines the strength of a woman’s orgasms and her ability to ejaculate.

In the past, Jeffre always had orgasms by pulling inward with her PC muscles. It wasn’t until she saw a film about female ejaculation that she realized pulling in actually retards the ejaculation response.

She and Somraj began practicing with push-outs, consciously forcing the muscles around her vagina outward. Though it did take some dedicated practice before she learned how to let it happen, it didn’t
take long once she discovered this information. Then, more practice was required for her to build the confidence that she could ejaculate regularly.

Practice is an important key. The more a woman practices, the more she can depend on her response and the more easily the flow of fluid begins.

As we’ve said, for the vast majority of women, female ejaculation doesn’t occur like flipping a light switch. It takes preparation, the right mood, and a high degree of arousal. Long, sensuous loveplay and filling your pleasure balloon completely are prerequisites. Pelvic armoring that hasn’t been healed can block the whole process. Using the four cornerstones of supreme bliss to spread the sexual energy throughout your body helps tremendously.

When you’re really turned on, your whole vagina becomes engorged with blood, but your G-spot has to be aroused enough to be filled with fluid. Here’s where the G-spot massage strokes from our G-spot massage chapter really come in handy. It’s essential to apply strong pressure with these strokes where the sponge is most engorged.

How can you know when you’re ready to gush? You learn to recognize “P-Signals.” We use the letter “P” because feeling the urge to pee is the initial signal that the G-spot is fully aroused and swollen. But other “P’s” apply, too. An engorged Paraurethral sponge/female Prostate puts the same kind of Pressure on the neck of the urethra as a full bladder.

Understanding this feeling is vital in learning to let go and ejaculate. The sensations of the P-signal typically occur at Peaks of Pleasure but feel different than what you may be accustomed to. That’s because it’s activated by the Pelvic nerve, not the one that serves clitoral orgasm. (How’s that for a lot of P’s in this process?)

We believe that female ejaculation is instinctual, buried deep within the ancient recesses of your brainstem. To ejaculate, you have to let go of control by your conscious mind and get out of your own way. When you feel the P-signal, you need to relax and let the sensation wash over you. Often, the sensations shoot down your legs.

If you’re afraid of spraying yourself, your partner, or the bed with urine, you’ll never let go. That’s why it’s essential that you empty your bladder fully beforehand or any time it feels full. And protect your sheets or other playing surface with towels or waterproof pads.

That’s three P’s, but once you learn to shower and gush, you’ll understand that the “P” in P-signal really stands for “push out.” This means the same kinds of muscle contractions that you use to empty your bladder or your bowels or to give birth. Yes, that kind of pushing!

It’s not uncommon that women pee or defecate during childbirth. Many women report having the most phenomenal orgasm of their life while giving birth.

To ejaculate, ensure that you’re excited enough, and simply push the fluid out at a pleasure peak. This requires flexing the PC when you get the P-signal. When you’re first learning, removing the finger, toy, or penis from the vagina encourages squirting.

G-spot orgasm helps many women by creating strong deep contractions, but sexually powerful women with strong PCs can squirt without climaxing.

Can you see how female ejaculation is the culmination of everything you read earlier in this book? Now, maybe our recommendation to read the earlier chapters makes even better sense.