Femme Fatale Loved (Pericolo #3) (22 page)

I’m then hit with the musical whisper in the background and my eyes quickly find Zane as he waits for me to join him. He has an all-knowing grin on his lips; this song –
Ray LaMontagne’s “You Are The Best Thing”
– is one that has been played regularly in the past year. Every time I hear it, I call Zane over and force him to dance with me. It doesn’t matter if I’m cooking, cleaning, or watching the television; it makes my heart blossom and swell and fills my mind with the man who fought his way into my life, captured my heart, and became my hero. The look on his face tells me he’s taken notice. It’s lyrical perfect of us, and the fact he’s used it, right at this moment, makes this even more unforgettable. I love he chose a song that’s perfect for us and has a tempo that only makes my smile grow. Every part of this song makes me revel in the life we’ve made with one another.

As if suddenly, Zane’s eyes drop, coursing over me, drinking in the sight of me as I slowly make my way to him. I watch his eyes widen as he turns to face me, and when his gaze meets mine, I see this incredibly overwhelming look of adoration. From his flushed appearance, I notice he’s holding his breath, and it causes me to snigger silently to myself.

“You treat her well,” Enzo threatens lightly as he hands me over to my husband-to-be.

My grandfather reiterates the gesture, but with a little more flair and an added veiled threat that makes Zane laugh. He’s taken to my grandfather as if he’s always been in the family, and likewise, my grandfather’s found a reason to adore Zane like another grandson. These comments are meant in jest and freeze my nerves.

As I stand before Zane, the sound of the ceremony dissolves from my hearing. Billy begins the ceremony and the music is quieted as I lose myself in the man before me. Blood rushing at such a speed through my body has my hearing disintegrating into something else, and I realize that with every breath I take, I make history. It’s something I’ve been doing for so long without even realizing.

“Zane,” Billy alerts Zane, giving him a cheeky wink. He even passes over my wedding ring – one I’ve not seen yet. “This is your chance to really woo her.”

“Thanks for that, man,” Zane utters to Billy. We all laugh, another reason I love this ceremony – it’s personal and impersonal at once. He turns to me, lifting my hands slightly, his fingers clinging a little more as he clears his throat to speak loudly and clearly. “I know you resisted giving yourself this day, so when you finally said yes, I had to make it special. I listened to your plans and the things you didn’t want. I watched you finally cave to the fact you were marrying me, and I couldn’t hold back.”

I bite my lip; my heart beating so loud I fear it’ll make an appearance when my chest can’t keep it refrained to the confines of its cage.

“We had an unconventional love story, one that’s caught me in a whirlwind every single day since we met. You are many things to me now because of it, but most importantly, you’ll always be my Femme Fatale, Amelia. You kill me every day with your beauty and grace and revive me with your love. I know our love story hasn’t been easy, but it’s memorable. I remember the feeling of falling for you, the ache of pushing you away, the burning need to fight to have you back. You took my breath away the first moment we met, and that has nothing to do with you smacking me in the groin to get me to move out of your way.” I laugh at his joke, the sound quivers with my tears. “I knew the moment I saw you I was in love with you, but it wasn’t until you gave me a dose of that Amelia Abbiati attitude we’re all aware of that I knew I couldn’t let you go.”

Tilting his head, he gives me that precious little smile he saves for me. The one that makes me feel like the only girl he’ll ever love.

“I always knew I was going to marry you, vita mia. There was never a doubt in my mind that you would marry anyone but me. I just hope I manage to make you feel like the only girl that my heart can love because I won’t ever be able to love another as I do you. I only know how to love you because the impression you left is far bigger than my being. I saw you for more than the appearance you put on; I saw all your rawest parts, and you enabled me to love them. I will never let you go, Amelia, not now, not ever. That’s my promise to you.”

As he ends, Zane pushes my wedding ring on, waiting for it to meet my engagement ring. I feel my pulse race; my nerves disperse all at once, and I feel my entire body begin to desire Zane. Even more so as Billy announces that it’s my turn to say my vows. While I panic I have none, I turn to my grandfather who passes me the wedding band for Zane and turns back. I know he can feel my shake, but Zane doesn’t let go; he only watches me, telling me I can do this.

“I’m improvising here,” I say, nervously joking. “I wasn’t given the chance to perfect vows like Zane, so I’m going to do what I can on the spot.” I feel my hands become clammy as Zane massages across my fingers, a sign that he’s positive I can do this. “I never went out looking for love, but when you crossed paths with mine, Zane, I knew you were different. You rivaled me, you were fearless of who I was, and you were willing to lay it down just for a chance to be with me. You put me on top of the world every moment we were together. Regardless of what I faced in life, I had you. Even though we lost our way, we gravitated back to one another, like fate refused to keep us apart.”

Zane reaches out in the middle of my speech, dashing a tear away with the pad of his thumb. I relish the feel of his touch, using it to see me through saying everything I only ever want him to know.

“Thank you for making me the fighter I am today. I am the Amelia Abbiati you love because you loved me. No doubt in my mind about that. You loved me back to the girl I thought I lost long ago. You kept faith in me, understood me in my darkest times, and fought every step of the struggle. Thank you for showing me I’m worthy of true love.” As a tear falls, I watch Zane’s face softens more than I thought possible. “I don’t need the whole world watching to know that what we found is timeless, that what we made is forever, and the love I feel is the realest thing I’ve ever been made to feel.”

I push the gold band up his finger, setting it in its place for eternity.

“Now, let’s get to fun part,” Billy chimes, more excited than ever. “Do you, Zane Samuel Maverick, take Amelia Abbiati to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” Zane replies. While he’s smiling hard, I can read a thousand other words in his eyes.

“And do you, Amelia Abbiati, take Zane Samuel Maverick to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” I say, grinning so hard my cheeks begin to ache.

“I guess I can now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride!”

The moment we’re given our opportunity, Zane grabs me greedily, pulling me as close as possible. The aftertaste of our vows shroud us as we kiss for the first time as a married couple, and I know nothing will replace this moment as the key pivotal moment I cemented my happiness.

“Welcome to the good life, Mrs. Maverick.”

Mrs. Maverick
?

A girl could get used to hearing that.

As a chorus of whistles and applause roars to life around us, I turn to Zane; I want my moment to say something to just him, something that doesn’t need an audience to hold the truth. My hands come up to cradle his head in my hands, one hand slightly further around to thread fingers into his hair.

“I could never thank you enough for all you do for me. You spoil me, Zane Maverick. I wake up in heaven and go to sleep on cloud nine, and it’s all because you loved me enough.”

His arms clinch a little tighter around my waist. “I’ll never be able to show how much I truly love you.”

“You have already,” I say, my eyes watering heavily. While my hand cradles his head, his arms still around me, I take the opportunity to kiss him on the cheek. As I press my lips to his cheek and drag myself away, I see the red stain of my lipstick on his cheek and cannot help but grin like a lovesick fool. For so long that marking meant such a sadistic significance, but today, it takes on a whole new importance.

For so long, I left my mark on men who fell to their deaths because of me.

Today, I left my mark on the one man I could only ever love to death.

We sway in silence; the only noise around us is the song celebrating our first dance as husband and wife. The song Zane chose is special. It may be old, but the new cover he chose – Sleeping At Last’s
“I’m Gonna Be (500 miles)”
– has a sense of romanticism to it. It screams the love of a man without the need for an intense maleness. It’s delicate and loving, issuing a promising love affair. We’ve danced through a verse and chorus in a loving silence, basking in the glory.

Then I hear it.

It’s subtle, but I hear Zane start to murmur the lyrics of the song in my ear.

I curl my arms around him more, nuzzling further into his neck and take much delight in the song he chose for this moment. He made this moment special by being unique, by giving me a song that sings from his heart, that savors his journey to winning me over, to loving me, to living our lives together.

“
But I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more. Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door.
”

I pull away only slightly, kissing his jaw delicately before resuming my position. I close my eyes and savor our dance by reveling in the essence of him and me. He told me as we walked to the middle of the makeshift dance floor that he chose this song as an additional promise to me. He vowed on every song written word that he would honor every lyric sang.

“My wife,” I hear his whisper in my ear as he pulls away.

He utters nothing else but those two words. The simple sentence sends the butterflies into a frenzy causing my heart to beat faster. I worry Zane will fret more about how hot I am as a result of my racing pulse. Since our vows, I’ve had a hyper-awareness of my body; the electricity between us has multiplied, and my heart keeps galloping frantically in my chest. My mother would be laughing so much right now. She told me long ago that these were all the symptoms of one condition – being in love.

He spins me around on the spot and pulls me back close, unwilling to let our first dance end so quickly.

“You can put her down now!” Dante cries out, and I hear Ryleigh immediately swear, smacking him. “He’s got his whole life to do this with her!”

“Behave,” I say, turning in Zane’s arms to face Dante as he stands on the sideline. “You can lie and tell me you weren’t all over Ryleigh when you married her, but whether I believe you on the matter is totally different.”

“I’m a greedy man,” Dante comments, shrugging casually. “Of course, I didn’t let her go all night.”

“I can vouch for that one,” Alessa quips; she’s dishing out her own sarcasm on Dante, and he’s unsure of what to say next. “Now, I say we have a toast for the married couple.”

“I agree,” Enzo says, bringing over a glass of champagne for Zane. “Lia, what are you having, seeing as you’re off the alcohol until my nephew is born?”

“What is it with all you sure it’s a boy?” I ask, looking around at him. I shake my head, giggling. “Give me some of that sparkling apple juice. At least then I can fool myself into believing I’m drinking champagne.”

“I’ll take some too,” Zane calls out to Enzo as he heads inside to fix the drink for me.

“No,” I defy, turning to face my husband. “No, Zane, you can drink. It’s fine.”

“I’m not drinking if you’re not,” he declares, kissing against my temple. “Simple and easy. Plus, I want to be of sound mind for tonight.”

“Oh, you do?” I quip, giggling.

Enzo grins, shaking his head in dismay at how Zane and I have become. “Well, I’ll get two sparkling apple drinks while you two take a seat and get ready for some food!”

I love how efficient everyone is being. The spot where I walked down the aisle to marry Zane is now a large table with enough seats for all of us. Allana and Alessa are just finishing up the two head seats for Zane and me.

As we all settle in our seats, I find myself being catered to – not by family, but by a proper waiting staff. They come in, deliver a gourmet meal, and tend to every one of our needs. I look down at the amazing food, although not what I had in mind, the Italian food they serve is delicious. We all eat, passing conversation between us as we do so, and I feel a sense of calm bestowed upon us all. As our main course is taken away, I sit back, nursing my stomach. I’ve eaten too much, and I wonder if I can stomach another course.

“I just wanted to say a few words,” my grandfather states, announcing with a slight tapping of his fork against his champagne flute. He stands up; we all look and wait. He starts by looking directly at me and smiling brightly. “I never expected to have my family back, let alone welcome a man that I am proud to say is perfect for my granddaughter. I spent years waiting to have you all back, and even though we’ve had some losses, we are a happier, healthier family. Today, we watched the real turning point when my beautiful granddaughter, Amelia, decided to throw caution to the wind and enjoy what it was we had planned for her. Watching the two of you fall further in love over the past year has warmed my heart. I am so happy to be a part of your life and watch your story unfold. So let’s raise our glasses,” my grandfather finalizes, raising his glass up to everyone. “To Amelia and Zane!”

“Amelia and Zane,” everyone parrots after, together as a chorus.

***

We make it through the meal, through a round of banter before I can’t ignore my screaming bladder any longer.

“I’ll be right back,” I excuse myself, kissing Zane’s cheek as I leave.

I head into the house, rushing straight to the bathroom. No one warned me I’d need to pee this often once I was pregnant. Allana kept that one to herself! I can see this one thing will drive me the craziest. When I’m done, I slide my rings off and take a moment after washing my hands to stare at the rings on my finger. They’re white gold, and while my engagement ring has a large diamond ring lined with tiny ones, my wedding ring is a simple band with diamonds running all around it. Zane surpassed himself on this one, and the longer I stare at it, the more I’m in disbelief these are mine.

Stealing my gaze away, I look at myself in the mirror. I feel like the perfect bride today.

“Mrs. Zane Maverick,” I whisper to my reflection, the sound not sounding like my own voice. I giggle like a schoolgirl falling for her first crush.

Taking one last look, I smile and leave the small downstairs bathroom. I get to the middle of the front room before I realize I’ve forgotten both my rings. Rushing back, I grab them from beside the basin and quickly put them back on. I’m paranoid of multiple things with these now – getting them wet, losing them, doing something that causes them to lose their shine. I know it will die off; I was like that when I first put my engagement ring on, but that paranoia waned quickly.

However, coming back out, I feel like I’m being watched. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end, and I feel my breathing become shallower.

When I turn around to face the large windows that face onto the front yard, my breathing stops altogether.

I see a pair of piercing green eyes watching me through the glass panes of my front room. My father stands in the middle of the path that leads up to my house, dressed sharply in a suit, but with the same tiresomely, guilt riddled expression that he’s allowed to consume him over the last year. I watch his jaw drop at the sight of me, and I don’t stand staring. I gravitate to the front of the house, checking over my shoulder to see if I’m alone, and quickly slip outside.

“Amelia,” my father breathes, clearly taken aback by my choice of attire.

“You shouldn’t be around here,” I say to him, cutting him off. “There’s no place for you here.”

He doesn’t respond or back away. Instead, he gives me the once-over, taking in my white gown and my happier exterior. I can see the longer he stares, the more he regrets. He missed one of the most prestigious moments of an Italian man’s life – giving his daughter the wedding of all weddings, showering her with admiration and adoration, and giving her away. He’ll never get a chance to do that now.

“You look every bit as beautiful as I always imagined you would,” he states, his eyes slowly drawing up to meet mine. He even gives me a small smile as our eyes meet across the distance. “Is he treating you well?”

“I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t,” I reply, my tone emotionless. “Why are you here, Sal?” I ask, resisting crossing my arms across my chest. I don’t want to accentuate my tiny baby bump because I don’t want him to know that I am carrying his future grandchild. “You have no right coming here.”

“I couldn’t stay away.” His comment is greeted with silence. I don’t gasp, don’t splutter for words. I just carry on staring at him. “You’re still my daughter.”

“When it suits you,” I’m quick to remark. “Where was that concern a year ago?”

“I know I did a lot of things wrong,” he says, causing me to scoff. “Losing you all has shown me the true cost of my actions. Had I known the consequence of living my life as I did, I would’ve fought so hard to keep you. Losing you and your brothers has devastated my life.”

“What about
Madre
?” I ask, not allowing myself to be duped. “You killed her, Sal. That was your choice. That wasn’t a consequence of your life. You chose to take her away from all of us. Just like Gio decided to do that with Manuel. You and Gio both opted to hurt your own.”

He barely looks at me now. “I have paid for that.”

“No, you haven’t!” I roar. While trying to keep my voice down, I can’t dampen my anger. “You have never paid for any of your sins until your children started to turn against you. Our leaving wasn’t even the worse punishment we could have bestowed upon you. You deserve to feel a lot more pain than you have.”

I can see my father’s taken aback by what I state; his eyes water when he realizes there is no going back from our tattered state. I want him to believe that I’m emotionally dead when it comes to him. While the inner battle I have is a far greater struggle.

“Tell me one thing,” I muse, capturing his sole attention once more. “Did you kill Gio?”

“No, I didn’t kill your brother,” my father announces, and while he sounds solemn, I notice the disappointment. “Your uncle did.” I watch his crestfallen face sallow; his eyes become a deeper shade of sadness. “I’m sorry, Amelia, but even after all that has happened, I couldn’t kill him. Much like I could never kill any of you. He was still my child; he used to be so loving, so caring. I couldn’t kill him. I now know why you felt so betrayed by me. I’m a coward; Giovanni’s death solidified that in stone.”

“That’s enough,” I reply, backing myself away from him. “I have to go.”

“Amelia,” he says, the tears fall thick and fast for him. “I’m sorry I pushed you to the point you can no longer love me. I’m sorry I gave up on you and your brothers a long time ago. I’m sorry for not being the father you used to dote upon.” He’s braving the moment to tell me the truth, but they do nothing to suffice the cast iron lock I’ve put on my emotions toward him. His simple apologies do nothing to chink the armor I’ve been forced to protect myself with. “I just had to see you one last time before I take myself out of your lives for good. I won’t play god with your happiness ever again. I won’t intervene when I’m proud of the life you’ve formed for yourselves out here. Whatever happens from here on out is for the greater good.”

I can feel my eyes water, the lump in my throat coming back with a vengeance. “Don’t come back, Sal, please, because I can’t take the constant battle I have to fight to remind myself that you almost destroyed me.”

“This was never what I wanted,” my father argues, taking a step closer, to which I back away. One moment, he was willing to leave, but now, he’s grappling onto that one final piece of fight he has left.

“Maybe not, but you made it happen.” I can feel my jaw tensing up, my nerves becoming worn. “I’m not the only one who doesn’t want you here anymore. We all need time to heal and move on. We need to have the chance to thrive without you. Can you not give us that?” I find myself unwilling to hear his response. I put my hand up to stop him as he prepares to speak. “Don’t answer me. You’ll only try to appeal to my softer side. I have to get back to my wedding.”

I rush away from him, unable to be near him and terrified I’ll lose my resolve. I want nothing more than to have my father back, but the man I used to love is beyond revival. I hate that some part of me still pines for this man in the same way I used to. How can I even begin to hope he’ll revert to the man he was and love me until I forgive? How can I allow my father, a man I’ve dubbed a monster, to still have an effect on me?

It’s tiring.

I make it back inside, closing the door with a soft push before putting my back to the wood and glass and sighing a breath of relief. I remain flush against the door, my eyes closed, my heart palpitating.

“Amelia?” Zane’s voice sounds pained as he finds me with a fallen expression, collapsed against the door. “Are you okay?”

I nod, smiling slightly. “Sal’s outside.” I hate how I sound exasperated by saying that one comment.

Gently taking my hand, Zane leads me from the door, only to open it.

“Hey, Sal,” Zane calls out from the doorway. When my father turns back, Zane pulls me back from the house and toward my father as he resists getting into his car. “I wish you could’ve been a part of today. I wish you could’ve been there to see how stunning she looked when she walked out ready to marry me. I wish you could have lived the last year with us, all of it.