Feral Craving (3 page)

Darkness pulled at him, despite his
craving for answers. Cool, steady arms shifted and rolled him to his back. He
looked up into hazel eyes blazing with fury. Straight blonde hair fell forward,
and his gaze crossed as he tried to lift his hand, the urge to tuck it away so
strong. Before the woman could speak, awareness faded away and sleep claimed
him.

It seemed no
matter where they were he always touched her. Later, he would say it gave him
peace, a calm he never acquired anywhere else. In his world where he had been
tormented for most of his young life, she gave him salvation and he gave in to
the impulse and kept his hands on her. There was nothing sexual in the act,
only a mutual affection and agreement that it was a simple touch of friendship.

From day one
of their introduction, Bari and Mackenzie had been friends, their fathers
having served together in the United States Army, their moms close. Mackenzie
and Bari kept to each other’s company, acted as if they never needed anyone
else. Being thrust into a new world, a kid almost lost in the adoption system,
the friendship he made with Mackenzie had a profound impact on his life. She
was so accepting of all his faults, couldn’t care less about where he came
from. All through the years they acted more like brother and sister, the
occasional bickering causing arguments. Yet at the same time, the protective
measures over each other with school bullies showed their true emotions. If you
walked into either of their houses, a plethora of pictures with Bari and
Mackenzie lined the walls. Nothing or no one had ever been able to separate
them.

Senior year
had been a turning point in their relationship. With their maturing bodies, the
two of them kept their secrets covered, yet they were still comfortable with
each other. One day all of that changed. Mackenzie came outside wearing a little
blue bikini, and he had been captivated, practically choked on his tongue. It
was like a switch turned on and his body responded. She held the body of a
goddess in his eyes—curvy, perfect and petite. Her hair trailed down her back
and the ends of the dark curls brushed the curve of her enticing rear. Her
eyes, those were what told the sweetest story. Green, the color of the sea in
Bermuda, they held a thousand secrets forever shared between the two of them,
glittering with laughter and confidence. Her skin had been kissed by the sun,
and he had the sudden urge to set his lips upon it as well.

He slid into
the pool to cover his reaction and turned toward her. The sun caught her long
black locks, highlights of auburn gleaming in the sunlight. His heart clenched,
and his body hardened even more. She smiled at him, her lower lip slightly more
plump than the top, kissable, even bitable. With a wicked gleam in her eyes,
Mackenzie dived into the pool, coming up laughing a few feet down, forcing him
to snap out of his fantasy thoughts. He could not help but stare: it was as if
a veil had been lifted off of his face and he was seeing her in a new light. He
had been struck utterly speechless. There had never been any kind of tension
between them but now, he found himself awestruck.

“What is with
you, Bari?”

She laughed
and splashed water in his face, guiding his attention. Shaking his head like a
wet dog, he pushed off the floor with his feet and swam toward her, letting the
cool brush of water caress his heated skin. As he rounded her, he flipped over
to his back and treaded water.

“Nothing.” He
cleared his throat to get the gruffness out, hoping like hell she hadn’t
noticed how his voice changed. One look at her bright, laughing eyes said she
did. She opened her mouth to speak, but he jumped in. “Mac … did you decide if
you were going to prom with Scary Jerry?” He smirked at her scowl, the nickname
of one of their friends always setting her off. Jerry had been infatuated with
Mackenzie for years, and while it never bothered him before, now, a surge of
protectiveness, a resounding “mine” screamed through his skull.

She rolled
her eyes and shook her head. It was almost enough.

“Don’t.” The
gruff command caused both their eyes to widen. He rushed on. “That is, if you
don’t want to, of course. But I have a better plan. Let’s forgo the entire
ordeal and skip prom. Come out with me.” He sounded like a fool in his own
ears, and silence ticked by. With each passing second, his nerves frayed,
threatened to unravel. Just as he was about to say never mind, she glanced
over, tilting her head slightly and said one word, forever changing them
thereafter. “Okay.”

They did go
out that night, driving for what seemed like an endless time on his Harley.
Mackenzie’s body pressed against his in a way he wouldn’t deem sisterly at all.
It was his best memory and yet had caused the biggest fear inside him all at
once. They stopped at a lake nested near the center of the island, hidden deep
in the woods. Their own private spot, one he knew even as a kid he’d never
forget.

That night,
she gave herself to him, gifted him with her innocence, the pleasure of
learning about both their bodies. She’d taken what he demanded, given him even
more. With the silver moon shining high above, her body, illuminated for his
perusal, rocked with him in pleasure.

When he
eventually went home, the smile on his face faded with a single shift.
Something inside of him stirred for the first time, and the beautiful evening
washed away as fear rose sharp and fast like a volcano spewing lava. He fought
against the knowledge, refused to believe it was who he would come to be. After
a long night of restless hours, he went to the recruiter the next day and
enlisted with the United States Army. It was the only way he knew to protect
the one who filled his heart. The only way to make sure she didn’t end up like
his dead mother.

Bari shifted in the bed, wrapped in the
dream, the fog so hazy he could barely see through it. The action changed in
his mind, the frown on his face centering on what was coming. Gone, the sweet
memories of Mackenzie and something darker stained the beautiful memory. He
frowned as the dream pulled at him. He wanted to fight it but lost his way.
There was something nearby, something he hadn’t seen before, something waiting…

These raids were getting on his last nerve. For the past few days they
hadn’t found shit, the tip offs received being nothing but bullshit. The need
to stop the arms race into Iraq drove him forward when all his body wanted to
do was stop. To top it off, he battled with a case of insomnia, his tired body
screaming for relief, but his mind and the drive to finish this telling his
body to fuck off. Tired minds and exhausted bodies led to mistakes. Being out
in the middle of Bumfuck Egypt, surrounded by the insurgents fighting for their
cause, he understood he couldn’t afford to make one.
 

As they moved
up on the house and entered, once again irritation struck as they looked around
and Bari realized there really wasn’t a whole lot here. Nor did it look like
anything had been there in a while. The only inhabitants in the house included
maggots crawling out of a bowl on the floor and a couch littered with more
holes than a golf course beneath a window.

“Damn it…”

The cursing
that immediately followed would make even his adoptive father blush. He moved
to join his team and caught a shift in sound behind him. He turned and before
him stood an Iraqi man, a cleaver in his hand, looking at him with the same
stunned expression that was on his face. The two of them stared at each other,
each waiting for the other to move. He heard his team throughout the house
but didn’t make a sound. A million things slammed into him at once: footsteps
down the hall, the heartbeat of the man standing in front of him speeding up,
the drifting of wind blowing against the house. He took note of it all. The man
stared at him, and waited until he had Bari’s full attention. Bari watched in
horror as he started to move his hand.

“No!”

He screamed
it, implored the man to understand, not to move. Didn’t the man see the gun
pointed at him? The male refused to cooperate, and Bari grasped what was to
come. Blood, death, gore, it was all the same. The man’s free hand fit into his
dusty brown jacket and started to withdraw. Bari didn’t want to pull the
trigger, didn’t want to shed any more blood, and he tensed. The entire process
seemed to take forever. He knew he should probably rush toward the guy, hit him
over the head, but it was as if he was frozen. He couldn’t move, couldn’t yell.
As the hand came out, he saw the flash of something glint as the sunlight from
outside struck against it. His finger pulled on the trigger, self-preservation
kicking in as a loud shot rang out. It fired so fast that the weapon surprised
him. He glanced at the gun as if it had grown a mind of its own. Ripping his
gaze off of it, he glanced back to where the man should have been lying.
Instead, he found the space empty. Bari scanned the room, and his gaze rested
on a bullet hole along with an unusual script of writing littering the wall.
Letters he didn’t recognize. He swore it hadn’t been there before. He frowned,
took a step forward, his mind trying to remember if he had missed it, trying to
see, to understand what it meant. He studied the markings, his hand itching to
lift up and touch them. Behind him, his team members burst into the room.

“What the
fuck was that?”

Bari heard
them yelling but wasn’t paying any mind and only concentrated on the cryptic
writing. What … the … hell…?

He came awake with a gasp and about shot
out of bed as a large face filled his vision.

“Christ! I swear to fuck, if you don’t
get away from me, Mike…”
 

Bari grunted as a pillow was shoved
behind him, his body bucking under the move. Pain splintered through him, but
nowhere near the level from before. A nurse walked by, filled him up with
something that made his head spin and his vision go fuzzy. He loathed not being
in control, hated being dependent on others. After his childhood, he never
wanted to depend on another ever again. Relying on someone else to look after
you, to care always seemed to backfire in his life.

Bari looked around and frowned. He also
didn’t like that no one came by to tell him what was wrong. He’d been shot; he
got that much, felt and saw the holes, the bandages covering his body. He
looked over at Mike, sitting in the same spot he’d been in when Bari woke hours
before.

Mike’s shaggy blond hair fell in loose
waves around his face, barely touched his shoulders, the strands sticking out
haphazardly. Hazel eyes, telling the story of a tortured man, were set wide on
a chiseled face almost too pretty for a male, a face that got him teased
relentlessly by the team. Mike took it in good sport though, being the team
jokester. Not used to the somber man sitting next to him, Bari frowned. For the
past few years, Mike had been the one to preach about love and life, how the
two went hand in hand together. The guy was married to a beautiful woman who
adored him and also had a little girl who made his world right. Typically, Mike
was always smiling, and Bari would have knocked the happy cloud right out of
Mike’s life long ago had he not envied the man … just a little.

Mike’s current expression screamed guilt,
and Bari heaved a sigh. They had all been in the same position in the past:
missed something critical, skipped a spot, or forgot equipment needed for the
mission. It wasn’t like any of them were perfect; hell, they were far from it.
No one should feel guilty or responsible for putting that weapon in the
insurgent’s hands. Bari shifted, wincing as pain hit his chest, and looked at
Mike.

“Dude, seriously, you’re gonna give me
indigestion with this pity party. Stop it. It wasn’t your fault.”

Mike eyed him for a few moments, looking
as if he was about to say something. Bari raised an eyebrow in question, but
the guy closed his eyes and turned away. Fuck, he was so not equipped to deal
with these types of situations. He was a to the point type of guy, one who
didn’t make small talk, who didn’t really identify any point in discussing
feelings. Deep inside he understood how he felt, knew what he wanted, and
appreciated what should and shouldn’t be communicated. Blowing out a breath to
push pain and impatience away, he turned slightly toward Mike. The six foot
one, two hundred and twenty-five plus pound man looked so out of place.

“I don’t blame you, Mike. I’m gonna be
fine.” Bari ground his teeth as Mike stared at him with a blank expression.
“Look, Dude, seriously, we all make mistakes. We take risks out there every
day. Shit is going to happen. Don’t let it get to you. Don’t let it push you
down. I could have moved … but I didn’t.”

Bari watched as Mike’s face shifted;
there was understanding, then a grimace. They both recognized why he hadn’t
moved; the words didn’t need to be said.

He turned from Mike and took his first
real look around the room. A hospital, that much he was sure of. The small
confines seemed to be private, thank fuck, because again, he really didn’t do
well with other people. There was a door off to his left to what he assumed was
a bathroom and next to that shuttered blinds. His head turned to the TV on the
wall, volume muted, but a CNN broadcast aired through it. “By the way, where in
the fuck am I?”