Feral Craving (30 page)

Bari’s eyes met hers, watched as they
widened, saw the injuries marring her once beautiful face. Her eyes were
practically swollen shut, black and blue, deep gashes covering her features.
Her gaze lingered on the male before turning back to his. Fear, terror, and
gratitude shone through her eyes. She stood on shaky legs and crossed to him.
He was still on his knees and didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t form a
coherent thought. Instead, he dropped his head between his shoulders. He didn’t
know what to think, didn’t want to be judged, and fear rose sharp and fast.

It must have only been seconds, but
seemed like hours before he felt a shaky hand come to rest on his head.

“Thank you.”

Bari’s chest heaved with a sob as her
gratitude washed over him. She shouldn’t be thanking him. He couldn’t help what
he was becoming and didn’t know two shits about what he was. He felt every bit
of evil as he thought his father to be, her touch a gentle reminder of what he
did.

As he lifted his face sometime later, the
female was nowhere in sight. His brothers, yes
his brothers
, stood leaning against a wall, watching him. He met
each of their eyes, saw the ties of what he had turned into, reflecting. In
their eyes he saw no shame, no disgust. Instead there was acceptance, pride, a
strong sense of duty in each one of their gazes.

Bari looked over at the male he killed.
Motionless, the body lay like a sack of potatoes. Bari rose and focused on
home,
needed
to get away, didn’t
understand any of this, and felt unworthy. His body prickled with a sense of
movement. As he appeared back in his yard, he walked up the steps of the deck
and passed an appearing Tyler. Bari, ignoring him, pushed past the rest of his
team and walked in the house.

His body was on autopilot and as he
passed Mackenzie’s room, he paused, his hand itching to knock on the door. It
was an undeniable urge to walk into her room, to climb into bed with her and
pull her against him, to feel her warm body. He wanted to take peace in the
only place he knew. The urge was so damn strong it physically hurt him to deny
it. He almost gave in, almost knocked, but forced himself to pad down the hall
and entered his room, company to his own sins and regrets.

Chapter
Thirty-One

The roar of the bike settled between his
legs, a vibration moving along the length of him, making it as if he and the
bike were one. Bari needed to be alone, wanted to be in his own place where his
mind could have peace, where he was far from Mackenzie. He missed the shit out
of that female, but fuck; he wasn’t what she needed. He believed he had already
tainted her. He needed to get his head on straight before dealing with her
again, needed to get whatever lived inside of him under control. The beast
acted almost like his most vicious enemy, yet at the same time was the perfect
friend. Bari pulled up to his house, his headlight flashing along the length of
it. Bari stepped inside, ignoring the feeling of eyes on his back as Tyler,
Mike, and Tony all bore their gazes at him from the couch. Distantly, he heard
voices, the television, and shook his head, wondering when in the hell his
hard-ass team had fallen for
Prison Wives
.
For fuck’s sake!

Bari moved up the stairs two at a time
and felt Mackenzie’s presence before her voice penetrated the silence.
Mackenzie sat on the floor in his room, his open chest sitting at her feet. His
eyes roamed over the length of her before resting on her face and the uplifted,
questioning eyebrow.

Instantly his inner demon, the beast,
lifted its head and roared, clawed at him internally in response. Bari gritted
his teeth and met her eyes, running his fingers through his hair in
aggravation. He shut the door with a resounding click.

“What are you doing, Angel? Shouldn’t you
be working?”

“I’m off today, but see, you wouldn’t
know that, would you? I had to take the day off. There was no way I could work
today. But it’s good to see you too.”

His mood turned darker at her words. What
happened? He opened his mouth, but she stood and walked over to him, then
wrapped her slight arms around his bulk. The warmth of her body invaded him and
his entire body went rigid with shock at the response both he and the beast inside
had to her. She seemed to tame his beast as if it were a purring kitten. He
stood, still as a statue, and fought the urge to drop his head and breathe her
in. Instead, he took a deep breath, and prepared to step back. It had been a
mistake. Her sweet scent hit his scenes. His body hardened, and his cock
jumped. Tilting his head back, he groaned and reached up, setting both of his
palms on her shoulders, and forced himself back. The beast raised its head and
roared in retribution, wanting to claw its way out. The feel of it all caused
panic to rise, sharp and fast.

“Mac … you need to go.” His voice was
rough, shaky.

She shook her head, rubbing at her
temples. “I’m so fucking sick of this, Bari!”

Bari turned toward her, this stubborn
female who refused to leave his side. He clenched his fists at his sides, his
body hard and aching. He wanted to lay his spent self between her sweet legs
and find the heat he craved. The sight of her sitting on his floor, in his
home, seemed as though it was meant to be.
She
fit the picture perfectly. The thought tossed his mind on a bender of epic
portions and instead of listening to reason, he crossed the room in long, quick
strides and bent down, one hand wrapping around the nape of her neck. He took a
moment to fall inside of her beautiful green gaze before he wrapped his other
arm under her legs and lifted. He couldn’t deny himself but he had to, his
control so close to breaking. He’d give his own life before he ever—ever—hurt
Mackenzie.

Bari shifted her in his arms and tossed
open the door before he none-too-gently set her down, took a step back and
gripped the frame.

“Get out of here, Angel.” He breathed
deep, the cords of his neck straining under the onslaught of having her so damn
close to him, his control snapping. “Now.”

Fury welled in her eyes along with anger
and pain. “You know, Bari, I understand you are trying to help me. I completely
get it. I even understand you are trying to keep Byron and me safe, but I won’t
allow either of us to be used. You, Bari,
you
!
You know
me
better than this. You
know
us
better than this.
You
walked out of my life, leaving me
alone to have your child nine damn years ago without a word.
You
took something from me, and while
you may have left me with the most precious gift—our child—you left me empty
and hollow. I won’t allow it anymore! It’s … ridiculous!” She held up a picture
in her hand. His eyes widened. What had she been doing? How did she find that?
“And this! Explain this, Bari. Explain why you have a picture of a dead woman
under your bed!”

His control snapped and while panic
assailed him, the very element of needing to protect her punched him in the
gut. The beast roared in agony, a turbulence of emotions, let him know who was
in charge. A red haze fell over his vision. The air shifted, and Bari was
smacked down in a deep hole within himself as if the beast flipped a switch.
Bari battled with it, fought and struggled, his body shaking under the force. A
deep voice rumbled out, one which sounded nothing like him.

“Sweetcheeks … you’ve been naughty…”

“I need to understand.” She took a step
toward him. “I deserve to know.” Another step. “We deserve more.”

Like a beast stalking its prey, Bari
intermixed with the demon, the two of them wrapping around each other. His
power gathered to a new level. It was a high so out of normal proportions,
accompanied by fear of the unknown. Mackenzie walked closer, and he watched her
like a lion ready to pounce. There were secrets of his past, his whole life in
that box. He may have opened up to her about it, had she asked. Yet now his
entire body trembled with a rage so hot, the lack of respect she seemed to have
for his privacy so high that the boiling pot of his control started to shake on
its burner. Bari snapped his hand out and grabbed her beneath her jaw, lifting
her body to his as he stepped forward. They crossed the room, her on her tippy
toes, his entire being shaking. She hit a wall and blinked, then cringed as her
face filled with wariness. Bari tried to fight, recognized he would never hurt
her but not trusting himself with so much of the beast intermingled. A low
growl shook his chest, and as he let it slip loose, it grew louder as his fist
flew through the air and hit the wall. His head dropped down to rest next to
hers. While he had her caged, he felt as if it was he, the beast who was
trapped.

“You asshole!” She sobbed and pushed at
his chest, clawed at his hand wrapped around her neck. Tears fell in abundance,
tracking without pause down her face. Her fists flew into his chest, pushing him
back as she wailed out. “You stupid, stupid fool. Don’t you know I love you?
That I know you won’t hurt me? You stupid coward. Stop this!”

This situation wasn’t going to end well …
that much he understood. Pain racked his head, his mind screaming out a
warning. He released Mackenzie immediately, and then fell with another push
from her hands. The blow took him off guard; his ass hit the wooden floor
before he rebounded. He pushed off the ground, his height rising above her
petite frame, and stalked her across the room. Fire crackled from the aura
around him, the entire foundation of the house shook violently. The ground
outside cracked and split under the onslaught. He realized this was Mackenzie,
the only female outside of his mother who had ever meant anything to him, and
while he was pissed, his rage ruling him, he realized he had yet to actually
take any of his anger out on her. That was his fear. The fear of hurting her,
something he’d seen his father do.

Mackenzie stepped back to his advancing
approach, and he didn’t like it. Bari launched himself at her, pushing off the
balls of his feet. His body flew across the room and caught her around the
waist. He wrapped around her, twisted their frames until he took the brunt of
the blow. Bari rolled them over until he was on top of her, his body pinning
her to the ground beneath. His head lifted, and he felt the shift in him, his
mind struggling to take control, but the beast knew what it wanted. And right
now, it wanted Mackenzie. He couldn’t fight it.

“She was my mother.” He snarled an answer
to her question. “My father killed her, and he is what I am, Mackenzie. Is that
what you wanted to hear? Do you still want to be with someone capable of such
destruction? Are you willing to chance your life with someone who could take
it?” His mouth slammed down on hers without waiting for an answer and invaded,
wound itself around her tongue as if he were a starving man. The beast inside
rose to the forefront, ruled him. The kiss was savage, full of all the pent up
need he had been holding. Mackenzie squirmed beneath him. Bari thrust himself
away, scrambled, ripping his mouth from hers, and pushed back on his knees. He
was an animal, someone so incapable of being able to give her what she
deserved. He opened his mouth to tell her one last time to leave but held in
his words as he stared down at her wide eyes. She watched him, a mixture of
fear and surprise marring her features. Her expression shifted, her eyes
growing soft; love, affection, and comfort reflecting. Everything came crashing
to him; the way he had been treating her, how he basically tossed himself at
her, had almost lost control. An emotion rose in his system, shocking him to
the core. Fear for Mackenzie’s safety pounded through his panic-filled veins.

She lifted a hand slowly. He saw it
coming, but couldn’t seem to move quick enough. Warmth encompassed the side of
his face and sank through his skin, down deep inside, until it practically
invaded his soul. Her eyes bounced back and forth between his, as if searching
for something, weighing her words on her tongue. He finally found the strength
to move and realized he had cornered himself against the wall. Mackenzie
stepped forward, never breaking contact.

“I understand, Bari.”

He frowned, her words confusing him.

She stepped closer and reached down with
her other hand, sliding her fingers in his, resting her palm against his.
“There’s nothing wrong with being scared, Bari. You’re not your father. How
could you think that when you have touched me only with the most tender caress?
When you take the time to help Byron cope with things unsettling him, how you
make a point to be sure he’s comfortable when his world has abruptly changed?”

Mackenzie stepped forward again and
didn’t stop until her body pressed into his. He sucked in a sharp breath, but
was unable to form coherent words.

“When I touch you, Bari…” She brushed a
thumb across his lips, and he felt the sensations surge through his nerves,
pleasure winding its way in his body. “There’s nothing evil about it. You may
not see it, but we all do. You’re a good man. Honest. Loyal. Compassionate.”
Mackenzie lifted her body and brushed along his as she rose on her tippy toes.
He believed her, for that moment in time, and he let himself take in her words
as if they were the law. Amazed at this woman, so strong-minded, so faithful
with her love, he brought his arms around her slight body and urged her even
closer. His eyes seized hers as he caressed the length of her back, lifting his
hand until it held her at the nape.