Fifty Shades of Grey (18 page)

I could gaze at him all day, but I have needs – bathroom needs. Slipping out of bed, I find his white shirt on the floor and shrug it on. I walk through a door thinking that it might be the bathroom, but I’m in a vast walk-in closet as big as my bedroom. Lines and lines of expensive suits, shirts, shoes, and ties. How can anyone need this many clothes? I tut with disapproval. Actually, Kate’s wardrobe probably rivals this. Kate!
Oh no.
I didn’t think about her all evening. I was supposed to text her. Crap. I’m going to be in trouble. I wonder briefly how she’s getting on with Elliot.

Returning to the bedroom, Christian is still asleep. I try the other door. It’s the bathroom, and it’s bigger than my bedroom. Why does one man need so much space? Two sinks, I notice with irony. Given he doesn’t sleep with anyone, one of them can’t have been used.

I stare at myself in the gigantic mirror above the sinks. Do I look different? I feel different. I feel a little sore, if I’m honest, and my muscles - jeez it’s like I’ve never done any exercise in my life.
You don’t do any exercise in your life,
my subconscious has woken.

She’s staring at me with pursed lips, tapping her foot. So you’ve just slept with him, given him your virginity, a man who doesn’t love you. In fact, he has very odd ideas about you, wants to make you some sort of kinky sex slave.

ARE YOU CRAZY?
She’s shouting at me.

I wince as I look in the mirror. I am going to have to process all this. Honestly, fancy falling for a man who’s beyond beautiful, richer than Croesus, and has a Red Room of Pain waiting for me. I shudder. I’m bewildered and confused. My hair is its usual wayward self.
Just-fucked hair doesn’t suit me. I try and bring order to the chaos with my fingers but fail miserably and give up – maybe I’ll find hair ties in my purse.

I’m starving. I head back out to the bedroom. Sleeping beauty is still sleeping, so I leave him and head for the kitchen.

Oh no… Kate.
I left my purse in Christian’s study. I fetch it and reach for my cell phone. Three texts.

*RU OK Ana*

*Where RU Ana*

*Damn it Ana*

I call Kate. When she doesn’t answer, I leave her a groveling message to tell her I am alive and have not succumbed to Bluebeard, well not in the sense she would be worried about –
or perhaps I have.
Oh this is so confusing. I have to try and categorize and analyze my feelings for Christian Grey. It’s an impossible task. I shake my head in defeat. I need alone time, away from here to think.

I find two welcome hair ties at the same time in my bag and quickly tie my hair in pigtails. Yes! The more girly I look, perhaps the safer I’ll be from Bluebeard. I take my iPod out of the bag and plug my headphones in. There’s nothing like music to cook by. I slip it into the breast pocket of Christian’s shirt, turn it up loud, and start dancing.

Holy hell, I’m hungry.

I am daunted by his kitchen. It’s so sleek and modern and none of the cupboards have handles. It takes me a few seconds to deduce that I have to push the cupboard doors to open them. Perhaps I should cook Christian breakfast. He was eating an omelet the other day… um, yesterday at the Heathman. Jeez, so much has happened since then. I check in the fridge, where there are plenty of eggs, and decide I want pancakes and bacon. I set about making some batter, dancing my way round the kitchen.

Being busy is good. It allows a bit of time to think but not too deeply. Music blaring in my ears also helps to stave off deep thought. I came here to spend the night in Christian Grey’s bed, and managed it, even though he doesn’t let anyone in his bed. I smile, mission accomplished. Big time. I grin. Big, big time, and I’m distracted by the memory of last night. His words, his body, his lovemaking… I close my eyes as my body hums at the recollection, and my muscles contract deliciously deep in my belly. My subconscious scowls at me…
fucking
–
not lovemaking
– she screams at me like a harpy
.
I ignore her, but deep down I know she has a point. I shake my head to concentrate on the task at hand.

There is a state-of-the-art range. I think I have the hang of it. I need somewhere to keep the pancakes warm, and I start on the bacon. Amy Studt is singing in my ear about misfits. This song used to mean so much to me, that’s because I’m a misfit. I have never fitted in anywhere and now… I have an indecent proposal to consider from King Misfit himself. Why is he this way? Nature or Nurture? It’s so alien to anything I know.

I put the bacon under the grill, and while it’s cooking, I whisk some eggs. I turn, and Christian is sitting on one of the bar stools at the breakfast bar, leaning on it, his face supported by his steepled hands. He’s still wearing the t-shirt he’s slept in. Just-fucked hair really, really suits him, as does his designer stubble. He looks both amused and bewildered.

I freeze, flush, then gather myself and pull the headphones out of my ears, my knees weak at the sight of him.

“Good morning, Miss Steele. You’re very energetic this morning,” he says dryly.

“I slept well,” I stutter my explanation. His lips try to mask his smile.

“I can’t imagine why.” He pauses and frowns. “So did I, after I came back to bed.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Very,” he says with an intense look, and I don’t think he’s referring to food.

“Pancakes, bacon, and eggs?”

“Sounds great.”

“I don’t know where you keep your placemats.” I shrug, trying desperately hard not to look flustered.

“I’ll do that. You cook. Would you like me to put some music on so you can continue your… err… dancing?”

I stare down at my fingers, knowing that I am turning puce.

“Please, don’t stop on my account. It’s very entertaining.” His tone is one of wry amusement.

I purse my lips. Entertaining eh? My subconscious has doubled over in laughter at me.

I turn and continue to whisk the eggs, probably beating them a little harder than they need.

In a moment, he’s beside me. He gently pulls my pigtail.

“I love these,” he whispers. “They won’t protect you.”
Hmm Bluebeard…

“How would you like your eggs?” I ask tartly. He smiles.

“Thoroughly whisked and beaten,” he smirks.

I turn back to the task at hand, trying to hide my smile. He’s hard to stay mad at. Especially when he’s being so uncharacteristically playful. He opens a drawer and takes out two black slate placemats for the breakfast bar. I pour the egg mix into a pan, pull out the bacon and turn it over, and put it back under the grill.

When I turn back round, there is orange juice on the table, and he’s making coffee.

“Would you like some tea?”

“Yes, please. If you have some.”

I find a couple of plates and place them in the warming tray of the range. Christian reaches into a cupboard and pulls out some Twining’s English Breakfast tea. I purse my lips.

“Bit of a foregone conclusion wasn’t I?”

“Are you? I’m not sure we’ve concluded anything yet, Miss Steele,” he murmurs.

What does he mean by that? Our negotiations? Our, err… relationship… whatever that
is?
He’s still so cryptic. I serve up the breakfast onto the heated plates and lay them on the placemats. I hunt in the refrigerator and find some maple syrup.

I glance up at Christian, and he’s waiting for me to sit down.

“Miss Steele.” He motions to one of the bar stools.

“Mr. Grey.” I nod in acknowledgement. I climb up and wince slightly as I sit down.

“Just how sore are you?” he asks as he sits down. His gray eyes dark.

I flush.
Why does he ask such personal questions?

“Well, to be truthful, I have nothing to compare this to,” I snap at him. “Did you wish to offer your commiserations?” I ask too sweetly. I think he’s trying to stifle a smile, but I can’t be sure.

“No. I wondered if we should continue your basic training.”

“Oh.” I stare at him dumbfounded as I stop breathing and everything inside me clenches tight.
Ooh… that’s so nice.
I suppress my groan.

“Eat, Anastasia.” My appetite has become uncertain again… more… more sex… yes please.

“This is delicious, incidentally.” He grins at me.

I try a forkful of omelet but can barely taste it. Basic training!
I want to fuck your
mouth.
Does that form part of basic training?

“Stop biting your lip. It’s very distracting, and I happen to know you’re not wearing anything under my shirt which makes it even more distracting,” he growls.

I dunk my teabag in the small pot that Christian has provided. My mind is in a whirl.

“What sort of basic training did you have in mind?” I ask, my voice slightly too high, betraying my wish to sound as natural, disinterested, and calm as I can with my hormones wreaking havoc through my body.

“Well, as you’re sore, I thought we could stick to oral skills.”

I choke on my tea, and I stare at him, eyes wide and gaping. He pats me gently on the back and passes me some orange juice. I cannot tell what he’s thinking.

“That’s if you want to stay,” he adds. I glance up at him, trying to recover my equilibrium. His expression is unreadable. It’s so frustrating.

“I’d like to stay for today. If that’s okay. I have to work tomorrow.”

“What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?”

“Nine.”

“I’ll get you to work by nine tomorrow.”

I frown.
Does he want me to stay another night?

“I’ll need to go home tonight – I need clean clothes.”

“We can get you some here.”

I don’t have spare cash to spend on clothes.
His hand comes up, and he grasps my chin, tugging it so my lip is released from the grip of my teeth. I’m not even aware I’ve been biting my lip.

“What is it?” he asks.

“I need to be home this evening.”

His mouth is a hard line.

“Okay, this evening,” he acquiesces. “Now eat your breakfast.”

My thoughts and my stomach are in turmoil. My appetite has vanished. I stare at my half-eaten breakfast. I’m just not hungry.

“Eat, Anastasia. You didn’t eat last night.”

“I’m really not hungry,” I whisper.

His eyes narrow.

“I would really like you to finish your breakfast.”

“What is it with you and food?” I blurt. His brow knits.

“I told you, I have issues with wasted food. Eat,” he snaps. His eyes are dark, pained.

Holy Crap. What is that all about?
I pick up my fork and eat slowly, trying to chew.

I must remember not to put so much on my plate if he’s going to be weird about food. His expression softens as I carefully make my way through my breakfast. I note that he cleans his plate. He waits for me to finish, and then he clears my plate.

“You cooked, I’ll clear.”

“That’s very democratic.”

“Yes.” He frowns. “Not my usual style. After I’ve done this, we’ll take a bath.”

“Oh, okay.”
Oh my… I’d much rather have a shower.
My cell rings, interrupting my reverie. It’s Kate.

“Hi.” I wander over to the glass doors of the balcony, away from him.

“Ana, why didn’t you text last night?” She’s angry.

“I’m sorry, I was overtaken by events.”

“You’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Did you?” She’s fishing for information. I roll my eyes at the expectation in her voice.

“Kate, I don’t want to talk over the phone.” Christian glances up at me.

“You did… I can tell.”

How can she tell? She’s bluffing, and I can’t talk about this. I’ve signed a damned agreement.

“Kate, please.”

“What was it like? Are you okay?”

“I’ve told you I’m okay.”

“Was he gentle?”

“Kate, please!” I can’t hide my exasperation.

“Ana, don’t hold out on me, I’ve been waiting for this day for nearly four years.”

“I’ll see you this evening.” I hang up.

That is going to be one difficult square to circle. She’s so tenacious, and she wants to know – in detail, and I can’t tell her because I’ve signed a – what was it called? NDA.

She’ll freak and rightly so. I need a plan. I head back to watch Christian move gracefully around his kitchen.

“The NDA, does it cover everything?” I ask tentatively.

“Why?” he turns and gazes at me while putting the Twinings away. I flush.

“Well, I have a few questions, you know, about sex.” I stare down at my fingers. “And I’d like to ask Kate.”

“You can ask me.”

“Christian, with all due respect.” My voice fades.
I can’t ask you.
I’ll get your biased, kinky-as-hell, distorted world-view regarding sex. I want an impartial opinion. “It’s just about mechanics. I won’t mention the Red Room of Pain.”

He raises his eyebrows.

“Red Room of Pain? It’s mostly about pleasure, Anastasia. Believe me,” he says.

“Besides,” his tone is harsher. “Your room-mate is making the beast with two backs with my brother. I’d really rather you didn’t.”

“Does your family know about your… um predilection?”

“No. It’s none of their business.” He saunters toward me until he’s standing in front of me.

“What do you want to know?” he asks, and raising his hand runs his fingers gently down my cheek to my chin, tilting my head back so he can look directly into my eyes. I squirm inwardly. I cannot lie to this man.

“Nothing specific at the moment,” I whisper.

“Well, we can start with – how was last night for you?” His eyes burn, filled with curiosity.
He’s anxious to know. Wow.

“Good,” I murmur.

His lips lift slightly.

“Me too,” he murmurs. “I’ve never had vanilla sex before. There’s a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it’s because it’s with you.” He runs his thumb across my lower lip.

I inhale sharply.
Vanilla sex?

“Come, let’s have a bath.” He leans down and kisses me. My heart leaps and desire pools way down low… way down
there.

The bath is a white stone, deep, egg-shaped affair, very designer. Christian leans over and fills it from the faucet on the tiled wall. He pours some expensive looking bath oil into the water. It foams as the bath fills and smells of sweet sultry Jasmine. He stands and gazes at me, his eyes dark, then peels his t-shirt off and casts it on the floor.