Fifty Shades of Submission (14 page)

T
he thought of it drove me insane with jealousy.

Finally, I fell into a feverish, fitful sleep, haunted by fragmented nightmares. In my sleep
a hand caressed my penis then squeezed it tightly. I awoke.

Saskia was in my bed, her naked body pressed up hard against mine, her head nestled on my sho
ulder, her hand caressing my swollen cock.

“Are you terribly angry me?” she whispered in my ear, giving my cock a gentle squeeze.
”

I made no
reply.

She let go of my penis and propped herself up on one elbow and l
ooked down at me in the dark gloom. Then she touched my cheek and felt the tears.

“You’re crying,” she said, taken aback.

“I’m terrified of losing you, Saskia,” I said dully in the dark. “I don’t think I want to live in a world without you.”

She threw her arms around me and embraced me
with amazing tenderness. “My darling! There’s no need for you to fear losing me!”

“
I want to be yours forever! I swear I will commit my life to serving you. You can do with me as you wish. I promise I will never be a burden to you. I want to be your slave and you will be my goddess."

She was silent for a long time, then said finally,
"I think you’re right. I believe that only as my slave would you be able to endure. I must confess that the idea of you kneeling before me, your mistress, makes me very excited.” Her hand found my testicles and squeezed gently. “The thought of a man kneeling before me submissively arouses me immensely. Will you be my slave, Julian?"

"Am I not
already your slave in all but name?"

"Then listen to me,"
she said excitedly, squeezing my penis which had become rigid under her ministrations. "I want you to become my slave. My
real
slave. Not just indulge in a stupid game of role playing - I would hate that.”

"No
, it wouldn’t be a game,” I said eagerly. “In all seriousness, I would be your slave. I want your power over me to be
real
; I want my life to be in your hands. There must be nothing that could protect or save me from you. I will be entirely dependent upon your absolute will, your every whim - at your beck and call 24 hours a day. You would use me in any way you wish and I would obey your every command completely,” I said excitedly.

My greatest fantasy in life i
s at last about to be realised.

"You
sound feverish," Saskia said. She suddenly pressed her bare breast against my face and inserted her nipple into my mouth. I suckled dutifully like a child at its mother’s teat.

"Do y
ou really want it, Julian?" she said, gasping as I bit her nipple, and pressing her breast all the way into my mouth. “How badly do you want to be my slave?” She withdrew her breast, breathing hard.

"I swear to you now by God and
on my honor that I shall be your slave,” I murmur feverishly. “Wherever and whenever you wish, you only have to say the word."

"
Do you really love me that much?”

“I worship you!”

“Do you swear to be completely mine, to be completely dependent on me, to cater to my every whim, to be submissive at all times?”

“I swear!”

She looked strangely at me in the eerie cold light as dawn crept into the room. “And will you keep your promise to me always?” she whispered in my ear.

"I
swear I shall honor it always."

"I
will make sure of that," she said softly. "From now on there will be no more role playing, no more games. You shall become my slave, and I shall be your mistress."

She le
apt out of the bed excitedly. “
Look
- a new day has begun! A new beginning! I shall begin at once to make preparations!”

She got dressed quickly, kissed my cheek and was gone.

"How blessed am I in this discovering thee. To enter in these bonds is to be free."
- John Donne

Saskia was gone for a week. During that time she did not contact me. For once I was truly unafraid that she would not return. I knew that she was as excited and sexually aroused by the prospect of my enslavement as I was. During that period I slept very badly and was unable to concentrate on reading. I had no interest in walking or leaving my room, even. I found myself in a constant state of sexual arousal and masturbated often.

I
lay naked on my bed for days and stimulated myself by inserting a vibrating anal prod up my anus, clamping metal crocodile clips to my balls, and fitting a tight rubber band to the base of my penis. I was able to extend and repeat my orgasms for hours, drifting pleasantly in and out of sleep between earth-shattering orgasms. I dreamed of the luxurious sexual intoxication of slavehood that was almost within my grasp and I found myself conjuring up all sorts of imaginable cruel scenarios where I was being brutally abused by Saskia – whipped, humiliated, raped against my will – and inevitably it would lead to another masturbation session followed by a violent climax.

When Saskia finally returned she commented that I looked gaunt and that I had lost weight and had dark
circles under my eyes.

“Poor boy,” s
he laughed. “Did you miss me that much? Have you really been pining for me?”

She looked as beautiful and radiant as ever. There seemed to be a renewed, excited energy about her. She laughed and smiled a great deal.

She took my hand. “Come, let’s go up to my room, I have something to show you.”

When we got to her room we sat side by side on her bed and
she produced a document.

“We said we wanted to make it legal. I
had this drawn up.” She gave the document to me to read and lit a cigarette. It was the first time I had seen her smoke. I was suddenly unpleasantly reminded of Katherine and wondered if she had been with Katherine while she was away. I noticed that it was the same brand of cigarette that Katherine smoked.

I shrugged the thought from my mind and began to read.
It was an incredible document.

CONTRACT
OF SUBMISSION
the heading on the first page read.

It listed Saskia
as the "Owner-Mistress", and me as her property and "slave". It stated that the contract was legal and binding, and laid out the terms of the total ownership, dominance and control by the Owner-Mistress over her Slave.

Upon
signing this Contract, the Owner-Mistress could bestow any physical marks upon her slave to serve as visible proof of ownership of, and absolute servitude by the Slave.

It further stated that my duty as a Slav
e was to please my owner and mistress at all times. I would be expected to fulfil all the physical and emotional needs of my mistress, and would submit myself as a sexual object for the amusement of my mistress. Furthermore, I would be obedient to my mistress in all things and at all times.

I would be expected to
address Saskia as “Mistress” at all times and would only be permitted to speak when spoken to by my mistress. Any deviation from this rule would result in immediate and severe physical punishment, i.e. whipping with a cat-o-nine-tails or other suitable punishment to be determined by my mistress.

I would only be permitted to
sit, stand, sleep, eat, walk, lay and kneel where when and how my mistress desired and allowed.

I would only
dress in a manner desired by my mistress, and would instantly undress and get completely naked at the command of my mistress.

Upon arising each day I would
be expected to kneel naked on the floor with my forehead touching the ground, eyes closed, arms stretched out behind me in the “Devotion"
position. In this position I would recite the slave's Mantra 3 times as follows:

"I
am a slave to my owner and mistress. The only purpose of my entire existence is to obey, worship and serve my mistress.  I am nothing in the presence of this goddess. Every wish of my mistress is my immediate command. I will submit to the will and authority of my mistress and will submit myself to her punishment at all times. My mistress’s every desire is absolute."

After this, I would
go to my mistress and serve her. My first greeting to my mistress would be as follows:
“
Mistress, your wretched slave is ready to serve and obey your supreme magnificence.
Thank you, Mistress, for casting your divine radiance upon this worthless, insignificant and despicable being. I eagerly await your command and your punishment
."

Failure to comply
with any of the above would result in immediate and severe physical chastisement.

There was a whole section devoted to
punishment and discipline training.

As
Saskia’s slave, I was always to be unquestionably submissive to my mistress, and to consider her every word or gesture towards me as an extraordinary mercy.

At my mistress’s pleasure, forms of d
iscipline would be administered and may include any of the following: bondage, restraint, whipping, leash training, and the use of varies instruments of discipline. Special training activities would include but not be limited to: humiliation techniques, physical discipline of various design, caging, bondage, restraint, gags, hoods, blindfolds etc.

Punishments
would be at the sole discretion of my mistress, and may include but would not be restricted to: slapping, nipple pinching, kicking, whipping, falaqi, ball-busting, genital pinching, genital confinement, intense bondage time, mummification, clamps and weights attached to sensitive parts of my body, i.e. nipples, penis and testicles; ball gags, chains and/or handcuffs may also be used as well as severe electrical shocks administered to the genitals.

There was also a paragraph devoted to
Orgasm Control. As a slave I would only be permitted to achieve orgasm with the express permission of my mistress. My orgasms would be controlled in order to exhibit absolute obedience and to generate sexual excitement for the pleasure and gratification of my mistress.

The duration of the
Contract was
ad infinitum
- unless revoked and cancelled by my mistress.

By signing the contract, I would bind
myself to my mistress for life, or until such time that she herself decides to set me free – if ever.

I finished reading and
sat staring at the paper for a long time. My hands were trembling. I hadn’t expected our new partnership to be so cruel and cold-bloodedly one-sided. Reading the words on paper phrased in cold legal terms made it seem all the more brutal and merciless.

Had I totally misread Saskia? Is this who she really was – cold and ruthlessly
cruel? If so, I was in a lot of trouble.

My heart was pounding and my hands
wouldn’t stop shaking.

Finally I
looked up at Saskia.

"
This is rather one-sided,” I said carefully.

"Of course," she replied,
shrugging. "It’s simple really - you will cease to be my lover and become my slave with immediate effect. From now on you will look upon any favor I may choose to bestow on you as pure benevolence. You no longer have any access to my body. This document is crystal clear - there will be no limit to my power over you. By signing this you will become mine - my possession, my sex object, my plaything - whom I can break to pieces anytime I wish. You are nothing and I am everything. Do you understand?" She laughed and kissed my cheek, and a cold shiver ran through me.

"Won't you allow me
just a few conditions of my own—?" I began.

"Conditions?" She
frowned. "Ah! We haven’t started yet and you’re already asking for escape clauses. Perhaps you’re regretting your promise of earlier and want to back out? Well, it’s too late now. You gave me your word."

"
I’m not backing out. I would just like to add a few things to our contract. For example, that you will never leave me—"

Saskia
smiled through half shut eyelids. "Is that all you’re worried about? There may come a day when you’ll beg me to leave you. You seem to be forgetting
the most important thing," she whispered, eye flashing. "I intend be
very
cruel to you, do you understand?"

"
I understand,” I said softly. “Do you want me to sign the contract?"

"Not yet.
The actual signing will occur at a time and place of my choosing. We’ll make something of a ritual out of it."

I thought of something suddenly.
"If we are going to begin this new life together we can’t stay here. Besides, Mrs Wilson is already beginning to look at us askance. I think we may have been a little too loud in our lovemaking of late.”