Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed (189 page)

“Finished.”

“Good girl.”

There’s a knock on the door and Nurse Nora enters once more, carrying a small paper cup. Christian clears away my plate and starts putting all the items back into the box.

“Pain relief.” Nora smiles, showing me the white pill in the paper cup.

“Is this okay to take? You know—with the baby?”

“Yes, Mrs. Grey. It’s Lortab—it’s fine; it won’t affect the baby.”

I nod gratefully. My head is pounding. I swallow it down with a sip of water.

“You ought to rest, Mrs. Grey.” Nurse Nora looks pointedly at Christian.

He nods.

No!
“You’re going?” I exclaim, panic setting in.
Don’t go—we’ve just started talking!

Christian snorts. “If you think for one moment I’m going to let you out of my sight, Mrs. Grey, you are very much mistaken.”

Nora huffs but hovers over me and readjusts my pillows so that I have to lie down.

“Good night, Mrs. Grey,” she says, and with one last censorious glance at Christian, she leaves.

He raises an eyebrow as she closes the door.

“I don’t think Nurse Nora approves of me.”

He stands by the bed, looking tired, and despite the fact that I want him to stay, I know I should try to persuade him to go home.

“You need rest, too, Christian. Go home. You look exhausted.”

“I’m not leaving you. I’ll doze in this armchair.”

I scowl at him, then shift onto my side.

“Sleep with me.”

He frowns. “No. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me. Please, Christian.”

“You have an IV.”

“Christian. Please.”

He gazes at me, and I can tell he’s tempted.

“Please.” I lift up the blankets, inviting him into the bed.

“Fuck it.” He slips off his shoes and socks, and gingerly climbs in beside me. Gently, he wraps his arm around me, and I lay my head on his chest. He kisses my hair.

“I don’t think Nurse Nora will be very happy with this arrangement,” he whispers conspiratorially.

I giggle, then stop as pain lances through my chest. “Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”

“Oh, but I love that sound,” he says a little sadly, his voice low. “I’m sorry, baby, so, so sorry.” He kisses my hair again and inhales deeply, and I don’t know what he’s apologizing for … making me laugh? Or the mess we’re in? I rest my hand over his heart, and he gently places his hand on mine. We are both silent for a moment.

“Why did you go see that woman?”

“Oh, Ana.” He groans. “You want to discuss that now? Can’t we drop this? I regret it, okay?”

“I need to know.”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” he mutters, irritated. “Oh, and Detective Clark wants to talk to you. Just routine. Now go to sleep.”

He kisses my hair. I sigh heavily. I need to know why. At least he says he regrets it. That’s something, my subconscious agrees. She’s in an agreeable mood today, it seems. Ugh, Detective Clark. I shudder at the thought of reliving Thursday’s events for him.

“Do we know why Jack was doing all this?”

“Hmm,” Christian murmurs. I’m soothed by the slow rise and fall of his chest, gently rocking my head, lulling me to sleep as his breathing slows. And while I drift I try to make sense of the fragments of conversations I heard while I was on the edge of consciousness, but they slither through my mind, remaining steadfastly elusive, taunting me from the edges of my memory. Oh, it’s frustrating and exhausting … and …

NURSE NORA’S MOUTH IS
pursed and her arms folded in hostility. I hold my finger up to my lips.

“Please let him sleep,” I whisper, squinting in the early morning light.

“This is your bed. Not his,” she hisses sternly.

“I slept better because he was here,” I insist, rushing to my husband’s defense. Besides, it’s true. Christian stirs, and Nurse Nora and I freeze.

He mumbles in his sleep, “Don’t touch me. No more. Only Ana.”

I frown. I have rarely heard Christian talk in his sleep. Admittedly, that might be because he sleeps less than I do. I’ve only ever heard his nightmares. His arms tighten around me, squeezing me, and I wince.

“Mrs. Grey—” Nurse Nora glowers.

“Please,” I beg.

She shakes her head, turns on her heel, and leaves, and I snuggle up against Christian again.

WHEN I WAKE, CHRISTIAN
is nowhere to be seen. The sun is blazing through the windows, and I can now really appreciate the room.
I have flowers!
I didn’t notice them the night before. Several bouquets. I wonder idly who they’re from.

A soft knock distracts me, and Carrick peeks around the door. He beams when he sees that I’m awake.

“May I come in?” he asks.

“Of course.”

He strides into the room and over to me, his soft, gentle blue eyes assessing me shrewdly. He’s wearing a dark suit—he must be working. He surprises me by leaning down and kissing my forehead.

“May I sit?”

I nod, and he perches on the edge of the bed and takes my hand.

“I don’t know how to thank you for my daughter, you crazy, brave, darling girl. What you did probably saved her life. I will be forever in your debt.” His voice wavers, filled with gratitude and compassion.

Oh …
I don’t know what to say. I squeeze his hand but remain mute.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. Sore.” I say, for honesty’s sake.

“Have they given you meds for the pain?”

“Lor … something.”

“Good. Where’s Christian?”

“I don’t know. When I woke up, he was gone.”

“He won’t be far away, I’m sure. He wouldn’t leave you while you were unconscious.”

“I know.”

“He’s a little mad at you, as he should be.” Carrick smirks. Ah, this is where Christian gets it from.

“Christian is always mad at me.”

“Is he?” Carrick smiles, pleased—as if this is a good thing. His smile is infectious.

“How’s Mia?”

His eyes cloud and his smile vanishes. “She’s better. Mad as hell. I think anger is a healthy reaction to what happened to her.”

“Is she here?”

“No, she’s back at home. I don’t think Grace will let her out of her sight.”

“I know how that feels.”

“You need watching, too,” he admonishes. “I don’t want you taking any more silly risks with your life or the life of my grandchild.”

I flush.
He knows!

“Grace read your chart. She told me. Congratulations.”

“Um … thank you.”

He gazes down at me, and his eyes soften, though he frowns at my expression.

“Christian will come around,” he says gently. “This will be the best thing for him. Just … give him some time.”

I nod.
Oh … They’ve spoken
.

“I’d better go. I’m due in court.” He smiles and rises. “I’ll check in on you later. Grace speaks highly of Dr. Singh and Dr. Bartley. They know what they’re doing.”

He leans down and kisses me once more. “I mean it, Ana. I can never repay what you’ve done for us. Thank you.”

I look up at him, blinking back tears, suddenly overwhelmed, and he strokes my cheek affectionately. Then he turns on his heel and leaves.

Oh my
. I’m reeling from his gratitude. Perhaps now I can let the prenup debacle go. My subconscious nods sagely in agreement with me yet again. I shake my head and gingerly get out of bed. I’m relieved to find that I am much steadier on my feet than I was yesterday. In spite of Christian sharing the bed, I have slept well and feel refreshed. My head still aches, but it’s a dull nagging pain, nothing like the pounding yesterday. I’m stiff and sore, but I just need a bath. I feel grimy. I head into the en suite.

“ANA!” CHRISTIAN SHOUTS
.

“I’m in the bathroom,” I call as I finish brushing my teeth. That feels better. I ignore my reflection in the mirror.
Crap, I look a mess
. When I open the door, Christian is by the bed, holding a tray of food. He’s transformed. Dressed entirely in black, he’s shaved, showered, and looks well rested.

“Good morning, Mrs. Grey,” he says brightly. “I have your breakfast.” He looks so boyish and much happier.

Wow. I smile broadly as I climb back into bed. He pulls over the tray on wheels and lifts the cover to reveal my breakfast: oatmeal with dried fruits, pancakes with maple syrup, bacon, orange juice, and Twinings English breakfast tea. My mouth waters; I’m so hungry. I down the orange juice in a few gulps and dig into the oatmeal. Christian sits down on the edge of the bed to watch. He smirks.

“What?” I ask with my mouth full.

“I like to watch you eat,” he says. But I don’t think that’s what he’s smirking about. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” I mutter between mouthfuls.

“I’ve never seen you eat like this.”

I glance up at him, and my heart sinks. We have to address
the very tiny elephant in the room. “It’s because I’m pregnant, Christian.”

He snorts, and his mouth twists into an ironic smile. “If I knew getting you knocked up was going to make you eat, I might have done it earlier.”

“Christian Grey!” I gasp and set the oatmeal down.

“Don’t stop eating,” he warns.

“Christian, we need to talk about this.”

He stills. “What’s there to say? We’re going to be parents.” He shrugs, desperately trying to look nonchalant, but all I can see is his fear. Pushing the tray aside, I crawl down the bed to him and take his hands in mine.

“You’re scared,” I whisper. “I get it.”

He gazes at me, impassive, his eyes wide and all his earlier boyishness stripped away.

“I am, too. That’s normal,” I whisper.

“What kind of father could I possibly be?” His voice is hoarse, barely audible.

“Oh, Christian.” I stifle a sob. “One that tries his best. That’s all any of us can do.”

“Ana—I don’t know if I can …”

“Of course you can. You’re loving, you’re fun, you’re strong, you’ll set boundaries. Our child will want for nothing.”

He’s frozen, staring at me, doubt etched on his beautiful face.

“Yes, it would have been ideal to have waited. To have longer, just the two of us. But we’ll be three of us, and we’ll all grow up together. We’ll be a family. Our own family. And your child will love you unconditionally, like I do.” Tears spring to my eyes.

“Oh, Ana,” Christian whispers, his voice anguished and pained. “I thought I’d lost you. Then I thought I’d lost you again. Seeing you lying on the ground, pale and cold and unconscious—it was all my worst fears realized. And now here you are—brave and strong … giving me hope. Loving me after all that I’ve done.”

“Yes, I do love you, Christian, desperately. I always will.”

Gently taking my head between his hands, he wipes my tears
away with his thumbs. He gazes into my eyes, gray to blue, and all I see is his fear and wonder and love.

“I love you, too,” he breathes. And he kisses me sweetly, tenderly, like a man who adores his wife. “I’ll try to be a good father,” he whispers against my lips.

“You’ll try, and you’ll succeed. And let’s face it; you don’t have much choice in the matter, because Blip and I are not going anywhere.”

“Blip?”

“Blip.”

He raises his eyebrows. “I had the name Junior in my head.”

“Junior it is, then.”

“But I like Blip.” He smiles his shy smile and kisses me once more.

M
uch as I’d like to kiss you all day, your breakfast is getting cold,” Christian murmurs against my lips. He gazes down at me, now amused, except his eyes are darker, sensual. Holy cow, he’s switched again. My Mr. Mercurial.

“Eat,” he orders, his voice soft. I swallow, a reaction to his smoldering look, and crawl back into bed, avoiding snagging my IV line. He pushes the tray in front of me. The oatmeal is cold, but the pancakes under the cover are fine—in fact, they’re mouthwatering.

“You know,” I mutter between mouthfuls, “Blip might be a girl.”

Christian runs his hand through his hair. “Two women, eh?” Alarm flashes across his face, and his dark look vanishes.

Oh crap
. “Do you have a preference?”

“Preference?”

“Boy or girl.”

He frowns. “Healthy will do,” he says quietly, clearly disconcerted by the question. “Eat,” he snaps, and I know he’s trying to avoid the subject.

“I’m eating, I’m eating … Jeez, keep your hair on, Grey.” I watch him carefully. The corners of his eyes are crinkled with worry. He’s said he’ll try, but I know he’s still freaked out by the baby.
Oh, Christian, so am I
. He sits down in the armchair beside me, picking up the
Seattle Times
.

“You made the papers again, Mrs. Grey.” His tone is bitter.

“Again?”

“The hacks are just rehashing yesterday’s story, but it seems factually accurate. You want to read it?”

I shake my head. “Read it to me. I’m eating.”

He smirks and proceeds to read the article aloud. It’s a report on Jack and Elizabeth, depicting them as a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde. It briefly covers Mia’s kidnapping, my involvement in Mia’s rescue, and the fact that both Jack and I are in the same hospital. How does the press get all this information? I must ask Kate.

When Christian finishes, I say, “Please read something else. I like listening to you.”

He obliges and reads me a report about a booming bagel business and the fact that Boeing has had to cancel the launch of some plane. Christian frowns as he reads. But listening to his soothing voice as I eat, secure in the knowledge that I am fine, Mia is safe, and my Little Blip is safe, I feel a precious moment of peace despite all that has happened over the last few days.

I understand that Christian is scared about the baby, but I don’t understand the depth of his fear. I resolve to talk to him some more about this. See if I can put his mind at ease. What puzzles me is that he hasn’t lacked for positive role models as parents. Both Grace and Carrick are exemplary parents, or so they seem. Maybe it was the Bitch Troll’s interference that damaged him so badly. I’d like to think so. But in truth I think it goes back to his birth mom, though I’m sure Mrs. Robinson didn’t help. I halt my thoughts as I nearly recall a whispered conversation.
Damn!
It hovers on the edge of my memory from when I was unconscious. Christian talking with Grace. It melts away into the shadows of my mind.
Oh, it’s so frustrating
.