Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed (37 page)
Authors: E L James
Tags: #Romance, #Adult, #Contemporary
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: Assault and Battery: The After-Effects
Date
: May 27 2011 08:05
To
: Christian Grey
Dear Mr. Grey,
You wanted to know why I felt confused after you—which euphemism should we apply—spanked, punished, beat, assaulted me. Well, during the whole alarming process, I felt demeaned, debased, and abused. And much to my mortification, you’re right, I was aroused, and that was unexpected. As you are well aware, all things sexual are new to me—I only wish I was more experienced and therefore more prepared. I was shocked to feel aroused.
What really worried me was how I felt afterward. And that’s more difficult to articulate. I was happy that you were happy. I felt relieved that it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. And when I was lying in your arms, I felt … sated. But I feel very uncomfortable, guilty even, feeling that way. It doesn’t sit well with me, and I’m confused as a result. Does that answer your question?
I hope the world of Mergers and Acquisitions is as stimulating as ever … and that you weren’t too late.
Thank you for staying with me.
Ana
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Free Your Mind
Date
: May 27 2011 08:24
To
: Anastasia Steele
Interesting … if slightly overstated title heading, Miss Steele.
To answer your points:
• I’ll go with spanking—as that’s what it was.
• So you felt demeaned, debased, abused, and assaulted—how very Tess Durbeyfield of you. I believe it was you who decided on the debasement, if I remember correctly. Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this? Two very different things. If that
is
how you feel, do you think you could just try to embrace these feelings, deal with them, for me? That’s what a submissive would do.
• I am grateful for your inexperience. I value it, and I’m only beginning to understand what it means. Simply put … it means that you are mine in every way.
• Yes, you were aroused, which in turn was very arousing, there’s nothing wrong with that.
• Happy does not even begin to cover how I felt. Ecstatic joy comes close.
• Punishment spanking hurts far more than sensual spanking—so that’s about as hard as it gets, unless, of course, you commit some major transgression, in which case I’ll use some implement to punish you with. My hand was very sore. But I like that.
• I felt sated, too—more so than you could ever know.
• Don’t waste your energy on guilt, feelings of wrongdoing, etc. We are consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is between ourselves. You need to free your mind and listen to your body.
• The world of M&A is not nearly as stimulating as you are, Miss Steele.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Holy crap …
mine in every way
. My breath hitches.
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: Consenting Adults!
Date
: May 27 2011 08:26
To
: Christian Grey
Aren’t you in a meeting?
I’m very glad your hand was sore.
And if I listened to my body, I’d be in Alaska by now.
Ana
P.S.: I will think about embracing these feelings.
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: You Didn’t Call the Cops
Date
: May 27 2011 08:35
To
: Anastasia Steele
Miss Steele,
I am in a meeting discussing the futures market, if you’re really interested.
For the record, you stood beside me knowing what I was going to do.
You didn’t at any time ask me to stop—you didn’t use either safeword.
You are an adult—you have choices.
Quite frankly, I’m looking forward to the next time my palm is ringing with pain.
You’re obviously not listening to the right part of your body.
Alaska is very cold and no place to run. I would find you.
I can track your cell phone—remember?
Go to work.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I scowl at the screen. He’s right, of course. It’s my choice.
Hmm
. Is he serious about coming to find me? Should I decide to escape for a while? My mind flits briefly to my mother’s offer. I hit “reply.”
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: Stalker
Date
: May 27 2011 08:36
To
: Christian Grey
Have you sought therapy for your stalker tendencies?
Ana
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Stalker? Me?
Date
: May 27 2011 08:38
To
: Anastasia Steele
I pay the eminent Dr. Flynn a small fortune with regard to my stalker and other tendencies.
Go to work.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: Expensive Charlatans
Date
: May 27 2011 08:40
To
: Christian Grey
May I humbly suggest you seek a second opinion? I am not sure that Dr. Flynn is very effective.
Miss Steele
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Second Opinions
Date
: May 27 2011 08:43
To
: Anastasia Steele
Not that it’s any of your business, humble or otherwise, but Dr. Flynn is the second opinion.
You will have to speed, in your new car, putting yourself at unnecessary risk—I think that’s against the rules.
GO TO WORK.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: SHOUTY CAPITALS
Date
: May 27 2011 08:47
To
: Christian Grey
As the object of your stalker tendencies, I think it is my business, actually.
I haven’t signed yet. So rules, schmules. And I don’t start until 9:30.
Miss Steele
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Descriptive Linguistics
Date
: May 27 2011 08:49
To
: Anastasia Steele
“Schmules”? Not sure where that appears in Webster’s Dictionary.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: Descriptive Linguistics
Date
: May 27 2011 08:52
To
: Christian Grey
It’s between control freak and stalker.
And descriptive linguistics is a hard limit for me.
Will you stop bothering me now?
I’d like to go to work in my new car.
Ana
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Challenging but Amusing Young Women
Date
: May 27 2011 08:56
To
: Anastasia Steele
My palm is twitching.
Drive safely, Miss Steele.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
The Audi is a joy to drive. It has power steering. Wanda, my Beetle, has no power in it at all—anywhere—so my daily workout, which was driving my Beetle, will cease. Oh, but I will have a personal trainer to contend with, according to Christian’s rules. I frown. I hate exercising.
While I am driving, I try to analyze our e-mail exchange. He’s a patronizing son of a bitch sometimes. And then I think of Grace and I feel guilty. But of course, she wasn’t his birth mother.
Hmm
, that’s a whole world of unknown pain. Well, patronizing son of a
bitch works well, then. Yes. I’m an adult, thank you for reminding me, Christian Grey, and it is my choice. The problem is, I just want Christian, not all his … baggage—and right now he has a 747 cargo hold’s worth of baggage. Could I just lie back and embrace it? Like a submissive? I’ve said I’d try. It’s an awfully big ask.
I pull into the parking lot at Clayton’s. As I make my way in, I can hardly believe it’s my last day. Fortunately, the store is busy and time passes quickly. At lunchtime, Mr. Clayton summons me from the stockroom. He’s standing beside a motorcycle courier.
“Miss Steele?” the courier asks. I frown questioningly at Mr. Clayton, who shrugs, as puzzled as me. My heart sinks. What has Christian sent me now? I sign for the small package and open it immediately. It’s a BlackBerry. My heart sinks further. I switch it on.
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: BlackBerry ON LOAN
Date
: May 27 2011 11:15
To
: Anastasia Steele
I need to be able to contact you at all times, and since this is your most honest form of communication, I figured you needed a BlackBerry.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
From
: Anastasia Steele
Subject
: Consumerism Gone Mad
Date
: May 27 2011 13:22
To
: Christian Grey
I think you need to call Dr. Flynn right now.
Your stalker tendencies are running wild.
I am at work. I will e-mail you when I get home.
Thank you for yet another gadget.
I wasn’t wrong when I said you were the ultimate consumer.
Why do you do this?
Ana
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Sagacity from One So Young
Date
: May 27 2011 13:24
To
: Anastasia Steele
Fair point well made, as ever, Miss Steele.
Dr. Flynn is on vacation.
And I do this because I can.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
I put the thing in my back pocket, hating it already. E-mailing Christian is addictive, but I am supposed to be working. It buzzes once against my behind …
How apt
, I think ironically, but summoning all my willpower, I ignore it.
At four, Mr. and Mrs. Clayton gather all the other employees in the shop and, during a hair-curlingly embarrassing speech, present me with a check for three hundred dollars. In that moment, all the events from the past three weeks well up inside of me: exams, graduation, an intense, fucked-up billionaire, deflowering, hard and soft limits, playrooms with no consoles, helicopter rides, and the fact that I will move tomorrow. Amazingly, I hold myself together. My subconscious is in awe. I hug the Claytons hard.
They have been kind and generous employers, and I will miss them.
KATE IS CLIMBING OUT
of her car when I arrive home.
“What’s that?” she says accusingly, pointing at the Audi. I can’t resist.
“It’s a car,” I quip. She narrows her eyes, and for a brief moment, I wonder if she’s going to put me across her knee, too. “My graduation present.” I try to act nonchalant.
Yes, I get expensive cars given to me every day
. Her mouth drops open.
“Generous, over-the-top bastard, isn’t he?”
I nod. “I did try not to accept it, but frankly, it’s just not worth the fight.”
Kate purses her lips. “No wonder you’re overwhelmed. I did note that he stayed.”
“Yeah.” I smile wistfully.
“Shall we finish packing?”
I nod and follow her inside. I check the e-mail from Christian.
From
: Christian Grey
Subject
: Sunday
Date
: May 27 2011 13:40
To
: Anastasia Steele
Shall I see you at 1 p.m. Sunday?
The doctor will be at Escala to see you at 1:30.
I’m leaving for Seattle now.
I hope your move goes well, and I look forward to Sunday.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Jeez, he could be discussing the weather. I decide to e-mail him once we’ve finished packing. He can be such fun one minute, and then he can be so formal and stuffy the next. It’s difficult to keep up. Honestly, it’s like an e-mail to an employee. I roll my eyes at it defiantly and join Kate to pack.
KATE AND I ARE
in the kitchen when there’s a knock at the door. Taylor stands on the porch, looking immaculate in his suit. I notice the trace of ex-army in his buzz cut, his trim physique, and his cool stare.
“Miss Steele,” he says, “I’ve come for your car.”
“Oh yes, of course. Come in, I’ll get the keys.”
Surely this is above and beyond the call of duty. I wonder again at Taylor’s job description. I hand him the keys, and we walk in an uncomfortable silence—for me—toward the light blue Beetle. I open the door and remove the flashlight from the glove box. That’s it. I have nothing else that’s personal in Wanda.
Good-bye, Wanda. Thank you
. I caress her roof as I close the passenger door.
“How long have you worked for Mr. Grey?” I ask.
“Four years, Miss Steele.”
Suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to bombard him with questions. What this man must know about Christian, all his secrets. But then he’s probably signed an NDA. I look nervously at him. He has the same taciturn expression as Ray, and I warm to him.
“He’s a good man, Miss Steele,” he says with a smile. Then he gives me a little nod, climbs into my car, and drives away.