Fight or Fall (38 page)

“What?” I had seen Duncan scampering away from Ava after the maid of honor and best man march. Good. I glared at him long enough.

“When are you going to stop being so jealous?” She huffed, her tone lecturing, her steps quickening so we could catch up with the rest of the crowd who were now entering the building where the reception was being held at.

“When are you going to stop being so sexy?” I countered, wrapping my arms over the shoulders exposed by her strapless dress.

Rolling her eyes, coupled with her dark head shaking, she stopped in her tracks and rubbed her hand on her favorite spot, my left lower ribcage, where an “
A
” was prominently displayed and tattooed over that piece of skin. “When I’m eighty, ask me that question again.”

I will.

Because when she’s eighty, she’s still going to be the sexiest eighty year old there is. Glancing at the spectacular white sandy beach view in front of us, I began to plot on how the hell I was going to propose to her.

I should probably do it after I win Olympic gold medals.

Fuck, I don’t wanna be a Kieran copycat.

I should probably do it on our anniversary.

Shit. Then that day would be jam-packed with celebrations.

I should probably do it on—

“What are you thinking of?” Her soft voice breached my thoughts, her hands giving my fingers a light caress, her piercing gray eyes looking at me with enough love to last a lifetime and a half.

“Just how much I love you,” I replied. It hasn’t been easy, but we had made it this far. She wasn’t perfect, but neither was I. We fought with each other and we made up. We get annoyed, upset, and she’d randomly throw a pillow or a random object at me when she got aggravated with me. But we also laughed a lot, joked twice as much, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

Life is not made up of sweetness, rainbows, and sunshines all the time.

Life is littered with bitterness, sad memories, and sunsets too.

As long as you find the person who
m
ade all the crappy stuff better and walked with you through the fire, you realize that it’s worth it all.

She was worth it all.

“Is it done?”

Daniel’s immediate response to my message blinked on the phone. “Yes.”

After two weeks of back-and-forth, changing the verbage, signing documents, it was finally done.

Glancing at the water, the sun lowered in the sky and the summer breeze serenely blew by. I caught a falling leaf on my left hand and felt the steady stream of peaceful air. There wasn’t enough gust to make the leaves fall.

Holding onto the lone russet, oval-shaped stray from her favorite tree, my eyes found the mirage of colors reflecting the beautiful sunset.

Aliana.

Je suis désolé.

For all my transgressions, for my cruelty to you, mon amour, for what I’ve made you go through, I’m truly, terribly sorry.

Every evening I walked three miles to stand and watch the sunset in our favorite spot. She used to point at the skyline and say, “One day, I wanna be the brightest shining star up there.” And I would gather her in my arms and tell her, “
You are, mon amour
. You are the most dazzling star around.”

I’d bet all my chips on my statement because it was the truth.

She’s the elusive five of a kind. The river, the catch perfect, the center pot in the gloomy world where my best friend Simon and I ruled for many years. We may have grown up in the unglamorous parts of France, but being in that world equipped us with the confidence and skills to trust our reads, move up the stakes, and how to play deep. Simon and I were kindred spirits, him losing his father at a young age and me growing up on my own when my mother left my alcoholic father, we became closer than blood brothers the day he offered to share his lunch when he saw me scavenging his garbage for some food. I knew what made him twitch and he instinctively knew when I needed a hand in card games and in life.

The day we landed in Vegas, we promised we’d change the fates brought on by our parents. And we did. We built Troudeau Enterprises from the ground up, card by card, hand in hand, bet by bet. I was the charmer, he was the thinker. We were dubbed the unstoppable Tour de France in every card game because that’s just it – we were unstoppable.

Until the day we met her.

I saw her first, but she loved him first.

She was in the front row seats with her friends, watching the last rounds of the poker tournament. Simon had been eliminated in the previous rounds, so it was just me and Gary, the Irish poker master. I had looked up in the audience because I’d heard a wondrous female laughter that actually cut through my airtight concentration.

And there she was.

My
river
.

The card I’ve been waiting from the dealer.

The minute I was announced the winner, I charmed my way into her heart. I thought she felt the same until I saw the long looks she gave Simon every time we went out. Being my best friend, he cleared the way for me even though he probably felt her attraction for him. But for the first time in my life, I claimed her as mine and mine alone, and when she said yes, it was the single, happiest day of my life.

I knew she loved me. Throughout the years we were together, Aliana loved me – I became the center of her world, until she got pregnant. Ava was a blessing. And a curse. We didn’t plan on her. We didn’t even talk about children, and when she’d said she was pregnant I was happy, but I was also apprehensive. I didn’t want to be a father. Life was more than great. My businesses were flourishing and we were traveling everywhere we wanted to go. She had quit her job as a model because I couldn’t bear the thought of other men lusting over her. Like I said, I was a persuasive charmer.

The day Ava was born, I was in China for a meeting with an important investor. Aliana couldn’t travel that late in her pregnancy. Simon was there for the birth. I didn’t have to ask him. He was just there because he was a good friend. He was the only person I trusted with my life. The day Ava turned one, Simon was there because I was in Hong Kong. Every momentous occasion, Simon was there because I became consumed with making Troudeau Enterprises a worldwide name. I loved Aliana, but my absence made her closer to Simon. I wasn’t sure if they carried on an affair. To this day, I had my doubts, Simon would not have done that, he was too good of a man for that. But then again, Aliana was a beautiful woman. Sometimes beauty corrupted friendships.

One night, months before Ava’s graduation, Aliana came into my office carrying a bunch of papers, asking for a divorce. I was stunned and livid. She’d said it had been a long time coming, and I’d responded with, “Over my decayed corpse.”

She had left the house and never came back.

I had lost her.

In my quest for power and my hunger for ambition, I gave up the only card that meant the world to me. By the time I realized it, it was too late. I lost my best friend in that accident. I also lost my wife. My sanity.

When the doctors said Aliana had a brain injury and couldn’t remember, I suddenly found myself having been given a second chance. I wanted her to live in the moment before she left me, before she was planning to leave me. Ava had other ideas. She wanted her mom to remember, and like her mother, her will to do so undermined my power.

“
You never gave her the chance to say goodbye to her mom
.” Milo Tanner’s words hounded me. He was an obstinate man who challenged my rules and defied my warnings. News of his proposal to my daughter was all over the web today and even French TV. Someone would be asking for my statement soon, and I’d already instructed Daniel to say, “I wish them infinite happiness.”

At every turn, my daughter had fought me for her mother and the man she loved. One day I hope she can forgive me. I didn’t hate Ava. I just wasn’t ready for her. I wasn’t ready to be a father, I wasn’t ready for a daughter to share the attention and love of the woman who may not have even loved me from the beginning, the way I’d hoped her to.

The scent of tuberose and pear percolated in the still air. The scent of my beloved.
Aliana
.

It was done.

Daniel had confirmed it.

Seventy percent of my fortune has been transferred to Ava’s name. And when I’m gone, she will have all of it. All of it. She’d learn the news soon enough with a simple call from my solicitor.

One day, she would forgive me.

I hope she would.

Until that day comes, I would be waiting and watching from afar.

To the People Who Mean the Most(est) To Me

It’s been a little over a year for me in the writing world. Sometimes it feels like forever. And other times it feels like it was only yesterday. When I wrote Love Unexpected, I had absolutely no expectations that I’d write another one. When I write, my intention is to relieve myself of the characters in my head. It’s for me – for my own peace and clarity. If one (just one) other person can relate to them, then I find that amazing. The storylines and characters I create are products of how I perceive them in my head. There are many times where I’ve been told that this should happen or that character should be this or that…I believe in the purity of the creative process. Authors are the judges of their stories. These characters are pieces of them just as mine are. I don’t write with a goal or intention. I let my characters lead the way and my fingers do the typing.

The book world is a great world – it’s a place of camarederie and it’s filled with so much creativity and imagination. I love the praises and the accolades (who wouldn’t?) and I’ve had to learn how to face some negativity and criticism. People keep telling me…it’s a business. And in any type of business, some will love the “product” and some will hate it. It took me some time to understand a lot of it. I did not write to become a business. I wrote because I had a story – with the fervent hope that one person would read it. I struggled for a time because I could not understand all the negativity and bullying that came with this business especially when I like to read and write about happy endings.

With the help of the people listed below, I’ve found my footing and they keep me grounded. I’m blessed to have them as my family and friends and words cannot express how much gratitude and value they hold in my heart.

They are the ones, the only ones, who truly matter.

My husband
: Behind a woman’s success is a man who lets her be. Thank you for always being there, for knowing what I need, and for encouraging me to just be me. You’re my reminder that I write because I enjoy it and to treat writing as such - a way to express myself and never more. I’m always your nursey first.

My family
: I’m nothing without you guys. You’re the happiness that lives inside me.

My friends, G, E, M, S: My best friends
– none of you own a Kindle and I think that’s a great thing because to you guys I’m just me. We’ve been through so much and I wouldn’t know what to do without any of you. You revel in my successes and soothe me when I’m down. And you never let me go hungry.

My book friends:

Jay Crownover
: For every 3 or 5 or a hundred books you write, I think I can try to write at least one. You’re the kick-ass-est book bestie ever and it’s funny because we don’t talk much about books. Thanks for never judging me, for always being there for me, and for imprinting in me the value of boundaries. I am so happy you never run out stories! You enrage me with the stickies (grrr) but you make me giggle with the secret stuff. I love your Marked Men Series and now the Welcome To The Point Series. You’re my tighty. Always.

Karrie Puskas, Janessa Osborne
: You know why – you’re my biggest cheerleaders. When I said I was going to write about a swimmer, you guys rooted me on. When I said I was going to write about a (secret) – you guys say go for it. Thanks for all the rah rahs, the LOLs, and oohs. Karrie, you are a true gem, a dear friend, and I’m so happy you gave me that shout-out because it led us to this.

Cris Hadarly and The Book Avenue Review
: Cris – you’re the coolest formatter, graphic designer, friend etc. etc. ever. Our chats definitely make my day! Thank you for being there for us indie authors. You give us a chance in this wide, wide, super wide book world.