Fight or Fall (9 page)

“Hey,” I said as I pressed the on button on the Bluetooth function of my car.

Traffic was ridiculous. Even the side streets were clogged with slow-ass drivers. Shit. I wanted to get home before she left.

“It’s there in the account now,” Dia confirmed. “I just checked and a hundred fifty thousand was deposited.”

“Okay, good,” I replied, relief evident in my voice.

“It’s enough money to keep us operational for six months.”

“Okay.” That’s good. Six months was a long time. It would mean that the three part-time workers would not be fired and that the children relying on the foundation would not be denied.

“Fuck!” I yelled, my leg pushing hard on the brake.

“What?” Dia’s asked, concerned. “What’s going on?”

“Sorry, an idiot just slammed on his brakes in front of me,” I mumbled. My blood was heating up from the irresponsible drivers who didn’t signal when they switched lanes.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed. “I remember how mad you get with traffic.”

“Dia, look, listen, and get it through your head.” I clenched my jaw and tapped my hand on the wheel. “I’m done with you. We’re done. We’re not getting back together. Ever.” Maybe after repeating it to her for the hundredth time, she’d get it through her head.

I heard her breathing hard over the phone. “Milo, I’m sorry. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?”

“Dia. I told you, I’ve forgiven you.” In an exasperated breath, I continued, “I just can’t forget, okay? We’re done.” The second she slept with Kieran, we were done. The minute she lied to me about Kieran seducing her, even maybe forcing her to sleep with him, there’s no way I’d ever trust her as a girlfriend. As an accountant, she was great. She sent me a weekly report on how the foundation was doing. She thought staying as The Children’s Foundation account manager was going to make me take her back. It wasn’t.

She was quiet for a few seconds, and then she said, “I loved you, you know.”

“For a time,” I agreed as I accelerated in the fast lane. Traffic was now opening up. What should have taken twenty minutes was now taking twice as long.

“No, I really did, Milo.” Resignation clouded her voice. “I just…I know I did it. I don’t think he even knew who I was. But he’s a nice guy. He never did anything to hurt me.”

There’s rage and then there’s
rage
. It wasn’t hard for me to believe that Kieran would do what he did so I believed Dia. For many months, I harbored unpleasant thoughts about burning Stone on a fucking tree. But being in the civilized society that we’re in, I couldn’t. But I made sure that he suffered. Every time I saw him in the locker room or in the pool, I didn’t hide my hatred, my anger at him. Women had the power to make men believe
anything
. I gave Dia that hold, that power over me. She blinded me like a fucking mouse and if it wasn’t for the threat of the foundation going bankrupt and her losing her job, she’d never have told me the truth. I don’t trust her. I don’t think I’ll ever trust a woman again.

“Move on, Dia,” I advised, and the words coming out of my mouth were almost automatic, robotic. I’d told her how many times now. “I’m never coming back to you. What we have now is a business relationship. And if you cross the line, I’d have no problem giving you your two weeks notice.”

Silence filled my car.

“Okay, I just…” Her voice starting cracking. “I’ll always love you, Milo. I wish I never did what I did. I’ll see you in three weeks.” She lived in San Jose now. She moved there after college. We both planned to move there after college. But plans changed. How things have changed.

“You don’t have to be here for every fight,” I tried to discourage her. She wasn’t needed here. I didn’t need her here. “I’m not even sure if I’ll be fighting. It depends on who they pick.”

“You may not want me anymore, but I’ll be there, Milo,” she said firmly.

I glanced at the dashboard of my car – 80 mph. I was driving really fast. Maybe she’ll still be sleeping. I didn’t want to leave her, but I had an appointment with Red Cross.

“Fine. Just don’t expect anything more from me.” My words came out with finality. When you break someone’s heart, the shards, the broken pieces remain littered on the ground. You hoped that the person who broke your heart will be the one helping you piece it back together, and I did it for Dia once. She broke mine and I broke hers, and together we tried to make our hearts whole again. But I won’t be doing it again. Not for her. Not for anyone else. Ever.

The gleaming white Tesla was nowhere to be seen.

Before I had left the house, I had carried her over to my bedroom. It was the only bedroom in the house that was clean and habitable. She weighed practically nothing, and while asleep she was breathtaking. When and where the hell did I start thinking about her as breathtaking?

Since your mouth touched hers, you idiot.

Ava’s flowery scent lingered in the air and the side of the bed where I had left her was still indented from her body laying on it.

I had to erase that kiss, delete it from my memory, or else I would be jacking off to her scent.

The thought of jacking off to her image just made me hard. Shit. I need to go on a date or something. It’s been too long since I’d had sex. I knew guys who drowned their sorrows in a bunch of meaningless pussies. What was the point? I could probably jack myself off better than having random, meaningless sex. Plus, the alarming trends and pictures of STD’s and VD’s that I’d seen from Bee’s nursing shit were enough for me to wrap it up or just stay the fuck away from women I haven’t gotten the chance to know.

I removed the compression wrap on my right arm and saw that there was no bleeding or anything. I’d donated blood enough times to know that after half an hour it was okay to remove it. I dropped my keys on the small desk by my bed and scrolled through my phone. No calls either. When Ava fell asleep, I called her phone with my phone so she’d have my number and texted her too, in case she woke up before I got back.

So that’s how you want to play it, Princess? Fine.

I walked to the kitchen, my phone in my right hand, grabbed a banana off the counter, and sat on the couch. Channel surfing sounded good right now.

Stopping at some old time movie channel, I let my mind drift at what happened today.

It was probably all a delusion. Ava was so tired that she was dreaming of someone else when she kissed me. Maybe a fucking frog prince or some shit. Most of the time, when I hung out with my sister, she was also there. I’ve heard her talk about some Greek dudes or some Russian models. She went for those eye-candy kind of guys, though I never really heard of her dating anyone. Not that I cared.

Now just the thought of her pressing those soft lips on someone else made me clench my jaw so hard that I might have broken a facial bone. Who does she think she is? All high and mighty? Just because she’s all rich and shit? Her father had warned me against going anywhere near her. He didn’t have to warn me. I sure as hell wasn’t touching her again. The idea of not touching her again was just enough to make my knuckles ache to punch and throw something against the wall.

Man, she was messing me up.

Somehow, seeing her in scrubs made her seem attainable, reachable, touchable. No, that wasn’t the reason I kissed her though. I kissed her because I couldn’t stop myself. In her eyes, I saw desire...and longing. Like she had wanted me to kiss her for a long time.

2 Chainz and Wiz Khalifa’s ‘We Own It’ followed by a vibrating motion had me picking up my phone that I had laid on the small wooden table in front of me.

It was a text message.

Leif: We on?

Me: Yeah. U clear?

Leif: Yeah. Let’s hang.

Me: Cool.

Leif: Bungee?

Me: K. Sounds good.

Leif: Still alive?

Me: U think?

Leif: U all Rocky and shit now?

Me: Why don’t u come and see for urself.

Leif: Trust me buddy. I know how u are. Rocky ain’t got nothing on u. Nice to know ur still standing.

Me: I’ll be standing til the end.

Leif: Yeah. I know. Hey, ur sister’s asking about u.

I didn’t reply.

Leif: Saw her at a charity event with Stone. She says ur not picking up her calls.

Again, I didn’t text back.

Leif: She misses u buddy.

Me: I’m just sorting my shit out.

Leif: She’s happy. He’s taking good care of her.

His statement brought unexplainable comfort and peace to my messed-up head. Unintentionally, I’d seen a some of the media coverage about Kieran when I flipped through sports stations. During a particular interview with Camryn Michaels, he dedicated his win to my sister. I’d never known him to be vocal about his feelings on TV, but I saw how much he loved her. He spoke of Bee like she was his world. And it made me feel more like a piece of shit than I already was. I deserved to be banned from the sport that I loved, the sport that I needed like I need my next breath. Kieran didn’t deserve the shit I put him through.

Leif: U there?

Me: Yeah.

Leif: Talk to her.

Me: In time.

Leif: K

Me: K

I stretched myself on the couch, folding my right arm under my head. Leif was right. I should talk to Bee. I just needed time. Time to find myself, because sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore. I wasn’t the man that my parents raised me to be, causing dishonor to my family name. My dad came from an esteemed family in Italy, and he raised me to be an honorable man. Where’s my honor now? Where are the morals, the values that Grisella and Amadeo Tanner drilled into me since I was a kid?

A beeping noise interrupted my thoughts.

It was another text. From Dia, letting me know that she already booked a flight for the next fight.

I ignored it.

Too bad Prissy Princess didn’t call or text me. But what if she did? What would happen then? Ava and I – we’re never going to happen. It doesn’t matter if she kissed me like I’ve never been kissed. Looked at me like I’ve never been looked at. She had a momentary lapse of sanity, of judgment, which was what made her do what she did. And as long as I’m under her father’s payroll, I couldn’t, shouldn’t chance becoming anything to her. I’d been warned by Maxwell, the man who holds the fate of the foundation that I built for my sister, for my family’s legacy in his hands to stay away from his daughter, the heiress to his empire.

For the past three weeks I’d been flying non-stop. Madrid. Germany. Ireland. My father’s main business hub might be in Vegas, but his power reached all over the world. And he had to maintain that power, that presence, so he would continue to be relevant. I dined with a member of the royal family in Spain, mingled with the business people at the Frankfurt Stock Exchange, and attended a fundraising event to promote sustainable resources in Dublin. Each event was a publicized event. All directed, controlled, and orchestrated by my father.

I had fun at most of them. Meeting new people and traveling to different countries and locales was exhilarating. I just wished my father was considerate enough to ask for my availability so I didn’t have to cancel my previous plans of working at the hospital or spending time with my mom. But he didn’t care about that. He never did. To him education wasn’t an important asset. Good thing my mom fought for me to go to a public school instead of being home-schooled. If not I wouldn’t have met Brynn in first grade.

“Did you have fun on your trip?” Emmett asked, his blue eyes a shade darker, as he leaned across his chair to get close to my ear. He had no clue that the last thing I wanted was to combine the pleasant memories of my trip with this.

“I did.” I gave him a dismissive smile, trying to hold the churn of bile forming inside my stomach.

I hated being here. I hated witnessing this. It went against my principles, my moral codes. But I had no choice.