Fight the Tide (12 page)

“Dude, are you getting off?” Grunting, he angled his hips and tried to find Adam’s prostate. Maybe he was no good at topping. He rammed in harder. He needed to make it good for Adam—needed to make it right, to be everything he needed.

Adam pushed back hard with his ass. “Keep going. Don’t stop.”

Parker wasn’t sure he believed him, but he pounded away, trying to fuck him the way he liked it. Their skin slapped in the quiet of the cabin, the air humid with their sweat and breath.

“Please, please,” Adam muttered, pushing back against the thrusts, his thighs flexing and claws out, shredding the sheets as he strained.

Parker was getting close, his balls tightening, but he couldn’t come until Adam did. He had to make Adam come. Had to do this for him. Leaning forward, he pumped Adam’s cock as he slammed his hole, so hard he was sure anyone else would be tearing.

I have to be enough.

Grunting, he stroked Adam’s shaft roughly, without even spit to ease his grasp. Adam was hard, but not leaking yet, and Parker tried another angle to find his prostate, and then another. Adam shoved back, squeezing, and Parker couldn’t stop his orgasm, rushing through him as he spilled in long pulses.

Panting, he pulled out easily, and Adam whimpered, his head hanging between his arms. Parker nudged him onto his back. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” he mumbled as he pushed Adam’s legs open and dove for his cock, swallowing it almost to the root. The need to make Adam come burned through him with a twist of shame. He sucked hard and deep, tears in his eyes and spit dripping from his lips, his nostrils flaring for air.

When Adam came in a few bursts of salty cum and with a quiet moan, it somehow still didn’t feel like enough. Parker swallowed as much as he could and licked up the rest, his face buried in Adam’s wiry pubes, trying to get every drop.

Adam’s hand rested on Parker’s head. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s good.”

Wiping his mouth, Parker sat back on his heels, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “But it wasn’t, was it? What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing. Shh.” Adam reached for him, pulling Parker into his arms. On their sides, they kissed with quiet desperation, Adam caressing Parker’s back and ass. “It’s not you. I promise. You did so good.”

“But it wasn’t what you wanted. I know it wasn’t. Don’t lie to me.”

He brushed a hand over Parker’s hair. “It’s not you. It’s me.” He grimaced. “As horribly cliché as that is. I guess it’s appropriate, since I’m a walking cliché. I feel empty after sensing that wolf, so I tried to literally make you fill that hole.”

Parker barked out a laugh. “Okay, good point. But there’s more to it. Tell me.”

Adam’s warm exhalation brushed over Parker’s face. “It’s something that took me a while to figure out. I don’t know why I thought it would be different tonight. I’ve never been able to come this way.”

“Why? I’m not big enough?” He leaned his head on his hand, trailing his toes up and down Adam’s hairy calf. “I’m not saying that to be all annoyingly insecure or something. It felt tight at first, but pretty soon it was…too easy.”

“That’s the problem. You know how I can heal. Well, I think it has something to do with that. It’s like… My body heals and accommodates too much. I can’t get full enough.” He brushed his thumb over Parker’s lips. “No matter how amazing my partner is.”

A little voice still hissed:
I’m not enough.

Parker tried to banish the self-pity and slivers of hurt. He cleared his throat. “Dude, that fucking blows. And not in a good way. Isn’t there something else we could do?”

“It’s okay. I love fucking you. Get off every time. I don’t usually feel this way. This need. It’ll pass.”

“Yeah, but there must be something. I’m not giving up on this problem yet.” Pondering, Parker drew circles on Adam’s arm. “I wasn’t really serious about using something as a dildo the other day, but we could. Something big. There has to be a limit to how much your ass can take.”

Adam licked his lips and swallowed hard. “We could. Or…” A red blush crept up his neck.

“Or what?” Parker’s pulse jumped, his cock stirring already.

“You could use your hand. Fist fuck me.”

Apprehension and a hot pulse of
want
sent Parker’s heart into overdrive. “Whoa. I’ve never even watched fisting porn. And fuck, I guess it’s too late now. It’s times like this I really, really miss the internet.” His throat was dry. “Have you done it before?”

Adam jerked his head in a shake. “Thought about it. But I never trusted anyone enough. No way I was letting some stranger shove his hand up my ass.”

“But you’ll let me?”

He leaned in and whispered across Parker’s lips, “I’d let you do anything.”

Parker could only kiss him in reply, his heart thundering. He’d get this right—he’d be what Adam needed. He had to be, or Adam would keep looking, even if it was only subconsciously. And that would lead to more people, and maybe even that damn island. No, Parker would protect them. Had to stop them from falling into a trap the way they did before, when Adam had been made helpless.

Neither of them would be helpless again.

He broke away, saliva trailing from his mouth to Adam’s. “Let’s do it. I’m going to fuck you the way you need.”

Adam’s smile lit up his golden eyes, and he nuzzled Parker’s cheek. “Tomorrow. We’ll sleep on it, and I’ll make sure I get myself ready. If you still want to—”

“I will. I will want to so fucking much.” He dug his fingers into Adam’s arms and stared into his eyes. “I promise. I’ll take care of you.”

Still smiling, Adam hauled him close in a full-body hug that warmed Parker inside and out. “You always do.”

“B
aby, you’re sure
you don’t want to go over to the other boat?” Abby asked while Adam waited with Lilly and Craig in
Bella
’s dinghy.

“No. Why would I want to do that?” Jacob’s sullen reply was muttered.

Abby leaned over the railing and gave Adam an apologetic look before turning back. “To learn more about sailing.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

Adam pushed off, calling to Abby, “No problem.”

After dropping off Lilly and Craig on
Bella
, where Parker was waiting with a bunch of rope he was tying into impossible knots, Adam returned to
Saltwater
and climbed the ladder.

“All right. Looks like it’s you and me, Adam.” Hands on her slim hips, Abby eyed the mast. “First thing I do is… Oh right, this.” She pulled on a rope. “It’s this, right?”

“I think so. I guess we’ll find out.” In his head, Adam went through the steps Parker had taught him. Jacob had apparently hidden away in the cabin, and as the sails caught the wind, Adam thought it was a shame to miss the sunshine and briny breeze.

“There! We got it!” Abby raised her hand, and he high-fived her. “Piece of cake.” She frowned. “Oh wait, that’s flapping too much. We have to trim now.”

As he and Abby adjusted the sails, Adam glanced over at the other boat, which skipped along at a good pace, Parker trimming the sails while Lilly and Craig watched. Parker was talking animatedly about the jib sheet, his words tripping out the way they often did, as if the syllables crowded his mouth and had to spill out.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

He jerked his gaze back to Abby, who gave him a knowing smile. He chuckled, still smiling like a lovesick teenager, most likely. “I’m pretty transparent, I imagine.”

“You are, and it’s wonderful.” She looked across the water, and Adam followed her gaze. Seeing Parker with Craig and Lilly smoothed out some of Adam’s rough edges. He still yearned for other wolves, a low pull that he didn’t think would ever go away, but this muffled it like sound underwater.

Abby said, “We’re both lucky as hell. Admittedly, we’d be luckier if the end of the world wasn’t happening.”

“You win some, you lose some.”

They laughed and checked the sails, which seemed to be doing okay. Adam turned in a circle and did a scan, jolting to a stop as he peered out, the hair on his body rising. He fought back his claws and fangs, the urge to protect thrumming through him.

“What is it?” Abby lifted her hands to shield her eyes, joining him by the railing. “I really need to replace the sunglasses I lost in the storm. Do you see something?”

“On the left side.” He could hear Parker’s voice in his head insist that it was
port.
“A boat. No sails. Looks like…a powerboat of some kind.”

“I don’t see anything. Man, your mom must have fed you lots of carrots.”

He tried to smile, eyes locked on the boat, memories of his mother echoing distantly.

At the stove, winking and letting him as he tried to steal a cookie from the pantry before dinner. Laughing as he and the girls tackled her into a snowdrift, Dad applauding. The jangle of her charm bracelet as she leaned over his bed to kiss him goodnight.

He exhaled slowly. “It doesn’t seem to be getting closer. But I’ll keep watching.”

“Okay. Good plan.” Abby went back to the wheel, peering up at the telltales. “And sorry, I hope I didn’t upset you. Bringing up your mom.”

“No, it’s okay.” Adam leaned on the railing nearby. “She was…she’s been gone a long time now.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Mine’s in Seattle. Or was.” She shoved her hair off her face, the wind refusing to let it be. “At least my dad didn’t live to see this. He was a quiet man, peaceful. This new world would have horrified him.”

Adam had no idea what his parents would have thought of it. Perhaps they would have welcomed the new world and the strange and terrible freedom it brought. He cleared his throat. “So you’re from Seattle?”

“No, after dad died, Mom remarried and they retired there a few years ago.”

“It’s good to know she found love again.”

Abby shrugged, running her palms over the wheel. “Nice guy, my stepfather. They were both lonely, I think. It wasn’t some grand, sweeping romance, but they enjoy each other’s company.” She darted a glance toward the cabin door and lowered her voice. “Jacob and I were supposed to visit this Christmas. Go up to Vancouver and do some skiing at Whistler. Give Jacob a white Christmas.” Her lips twisted up with a bittersweet smile. “He would have loved that. Mom too. She was always asking when we were going to visit. But I was so busy, you know? Work and Jacob. Trying to date again. I kept putting it off, and putting it off.” She blinked rapidly, her eyes glistening. “Damn it. Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Adam reached out and squeezed her shoulder.

“Fuck, I hate crying.” She swiped at her eyes. “Usually I can rein it in. On the job, I saw some awful stuff.”

“I can imagine.”

“Yeah.” She huffed, shaking her head. “I’d give anything to be able to just hop a flight and see my mom in a few hours. Life felt so hard, and it was so goddamn easy.”

“I know what you mean.” It’d honestly been pretty hard hiding who he was from everyone all the time, but he’d certainly taken a lot for granted. “I miss movies,” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Abby’s face lit up. “Oh, man, me too! Movies were the best. Going to the theater and buying stupidly expensive popcorn. Good times.”

“Butter in the middle and on top.”

“Anything else was amateur hour.” She smiled wistfully. “I’d still feel…not excitement, but satisfaction, maybe? When the lights went down and the previews started. Well, the half hour of commercials and
then
the previews.”

“I hated missing the previews. I almost didn’t want to see the movie if I couldn’t do it right.” He realized it had been almost like a ritual. In his mind, he could see the silver light of the screen, the surround sound bass vibrating in his bones, the plush seats soft, Tina’s whisper in his ear.

“Yep. And then the movie would start, and if it was a good one, it would carry me away.”

“And if it was bad, I’d make snarky comments with my friend. It was almost as much fun as good movies.” He laughed. “The last one we saw was a bad horror flick where the characters are so dumb you’re rooting for the ghosts. Tina was so annoyed when the girl went into the basement alone when she heard a thump.”

“Preach. Never go into the basement! There is nothing good down there! Ever. It’s an easy rule to remember.”

Adam sighed, watching the horizon. “Nothing’s easy now.”

Abby glanced toward the cabin door again consideringly. “Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choices. You know, when everything went to hell.”

“We all did what we had to do to stay alive. I’d say you did quite well.”

“Tell Jacob that.” She smiled and shook her head. “Teenagers.”

“It’s tough.”

“So’s he. He just doesn’t know it yet. But he blames me, you know? When it all happened, I wanted to try for Seattle to find my mom, but the roads north were jammed. Craig’s parents are gone, and he thought DC would be better. Hoping the government would be able to take control.” She grimaced. “Clearly that didn’t happen. But we hoped. I was torn. Thought about going our own ways, getting me and Jacob to the west coast. He wanted to find his dad.” She lowered her voice. “Why is beyond me. The man was never there for him.”

“He’s family, though. That’s important.”

“No, he’s a walking penis with ears.”

Adam had to laugh just a bit. “That’s…evocative.”

“How I ever married that man is beyond me. I look back and think, Was he really different in the beginning? Or was I blind and stupid? How could I ever love someone so selfish? But I did. Oh, I loved him. And he cheated on me a dozen times, probably. I only caught him the once, but that was enough.”

Adam couldn’t imagine it, betraying Parker like that, throwing away family for sex.

“Shit, we need to trim.”

Once the sails were repositioned, Adam tried to think of something to say. “Craig seems like a great guy.”

Abby’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. “He is. Thank God I decided it was too much of a risk to go off on our own. I mean, Craig and I barely knew each other.”

“Third date, right?” Adam pulled his camera out of the pocket of his cargo shorts. “Do you mind telling me about it? I was a film major. Need to conserve batteries, but I can’t resist filming a bit here and there. It’s silly, really. Not like I’ll ever get the chance to finish my movie.”