Fighting Destiny (Central Coven) (27 page)

“So we find your father,” Grey stated.  “I know he was in your dream, but how can your dad help?” Dean asked.  “My father is a Native American healer, you might call him a shaman.  He is unique in the supernatural world.  He is in his own category.  He has all of the powers of a wizard, a necromancer, and a shape-shifter.”

“No wonder you are considered to be the most powerful witch alive!” Anita blurted out.  “Maybe someday. Anyway. My father might be around Yakima or Toppenish at this time of the year.  He has been drawn to the Pacific Northwest for decades now.  He usually splits his time between the coastal tribes and the eastern tribes.” 

“Can you find him?” Dean asked.  “I don’t have a phone number or anything if that is what you are asking.  He doesn’t use modern technology.  I can scribe for him though, and send him a dream message.  Mickey, the hawk, can deliver something like that if he is nearby.”

Grey gave me an odd look, and then abruptly turned to Anita, “Help her with scribing, and creating the object she will use to carry the vision to her father.” “Why me?” Anita asked, almost whining.  Grey smiled slightly, “Let’s just say I think you will have a knack for it.” 

“I don’t think the dorm is the best place to perform this spell,” I blurted out.  Grey seemed distant, and I was afraid he was trying to leave.  I wanted an excuse to be able to talk to him alone. Everything could go back to normal.  Unfortunately, Grey is too perceptive, and I know he has picked up on my feelings for Finn. 

Grey turned to me, and looked me directly in the eyes.  I ignored the fact my friends were still crowded into Anita’s and my tiny dorm room. I needed to go to him.  I took his face in both of my hands, and traced its beautiful structure with my fingers.  He closed his eyes, and needlessly inhaled deeply. 

“Hey, let’s pretend I said something really tactful, and came up with a great excuse for the three of us to go to your room.  You know, other than what is going on in front of us,” Anita said to Dean and Finn.  Anita is blunt, somewhat crass, and completely wonderful.  I wouldn’t change her.  I snuck her an approving grin, she nodded, and herded the guys out of our room.

We stood staring at each other.  Neither of us said a word for what seemed like an eternity.  What should I say?  I opened my mouth to say something, and then changed my mind.  I wished he would kiss me and make this conversation unnecessary.

“Chloë, I can see you are struggling with something, just say it already.  Has what you felt for me changed so much since this morning?”  Grey’s demeanor was distant.  All the friendliness and humor had vanished from his expression.  He was not frightening me, but for the first time he truly exhibited the stereotypical coldness of a vampire.

“No, my feelings for you haven’t changed,” I told him.  “Something has changed, Chloë.”  “I…I…I’m just confused.  I don’t want anything to change,” I answered.  “You love him Chloë, I can see that.  Don’t insult me by telling me you don’t.  I want to know where that leaves us,” Grey said brusquely.  “I won’t lie to you.  I have feelings for Finn, maybe its love.  What I don’t have for him is trust.  I want to be with you. No matter what I feel for Finn, it doesn’t change that I love you, and I
trust
you.  I guess where that leaves us is up to you.”

Grey bowed his head to me, very formally.  I reached out to touch his shoulder, but he stepped back out of my reach.  “Grey, please.  I didn’t mean for this to happen.  I don’t plan on acting on it.  Yes I have feelings for him, but I love you.  Don’t turn your back on me,” I argued with him. 

“You can come to my house this evening to perform the spell.  I will give you any assistance you require,” Grey said not responding to my rant.  “So that’s it then? I have forgiven Finn, and yes I still have feelings for him. But, even though I choose you, you’re what, done?”  I stepped in front of the window, barring his exit. I needed an answer.  “I will not share you,” Grey answered simply.  “Gross. I’m not asking you to. I would never share you either.  Do you still want to be with me?” “Of course I want to be with you.”  “Can we get past this?” I asked, afraid of the answer.  “I have to think about it,” he answered and walked out the door.

He has to think about it?  I wanted to scream, or hit something.  Damn men pulling me in every direction.  Like I wanted to feel this way. I was definitely not going to go to his house.  There was another alternative to solve this problem, and I was going to find it. 

Then I remembered Uncle George.  He is an elder in the Yakama tribe, and he knows when my father is in the area.  He isn’t really related to me, but has known my father for as long as I have known him.  I decided to call him, since it was only seven in the evening. 

I looked up his number on the internet and dialed.  We made it through the prerequisite pleasantries, and I asked if my father was in the area.  I learned he was living in a log cabin in Tieton.  Good old Uncle George, calling him was much easier than performing the scribing spell.  He promised to tell my father I was going to visit this weekend.

I hung up the phone and began to pace.  I didn’t have a reason to go to Grey’s house now, and I certainly wasn’t going to call him and let him know I wasn’t coming.  Let him worry. 

Anita burst into our room, “I saw Grey leaving. What are we going to do about the spell?”  “After he left it occurred to me, why perform a spell, when I could pick up the phone and find out if my father is in town.  So I called my Uncle George.  He told me my father is in the state, and he will tell him we are going to go see him this weekend.”  “What are you going to tell Grey?”  “I was thinking nothing…Yeah, nothing sounds right.” 

Anita glared at me.  “Hey, don’t give me that look.  He stormed out of here.  He said he has to think if he and I can still be together, so screw him and keeping him informed.”  “Well, why don’t you tell me what you really think?” Anita said trying to keep a straight face.  “I’m so glad this amuses you,” I fumed.  “It doesn’t.  I’m sorry.  I should say men suck, but I am starting to think only yours do,” Anita teased.  “Again, thanks for the humor.  But for now, just stuff it,” I smiled my most sarcastic smile.

“Well since we aren’t going to perform the spell, and thank God for that, what are we going to do?” Anita asked.  “What, you weren’t looking forward to doing any magic?” I asked teasingly.  “Duh, no.  I’m a vampire, not a witch.  That spell stuff should be left to you.”  “Well I thought I would share the fun,” I said with a wink.  “No thanks.  I’ve seen you pass out from magic recently, so I think I’ll just watch.”

“Let’s get some dinner,” I suggested.  “You are going to have to talk to him eventually.”  “True, but eventually isn’t tonight.” I opened our door, and tossed her coat at her. 

Anita was right I would have to figure out what was going on between Grey and I.  I just didn’t want it to be over.  Delaying seemed the best way to keep him from ending it.  Funny, I was feeling confused about my feelings for Finn until I faced loosing Grey.  Suddenly, I realized I was not ready to lose him.  Being eighteen sucks.  Life should come with a manual.

“Stubborn!  I mean it’s just rude!” I shouted as I snapped my cell phone shut and tossed it across the room onto my bed.  “I’m sorry are you referring to Grey not calling or your refusal to call him?  I’m lost, because there is so much stubbornness to go around where the two of you are concerned,” Anita commented with her back to me, turned smiled sarcastically, and then returned to studying. 

It was Thursday evening, three days after my argument with Grey.  We hadn’t spoken since.  I was starting to wonder if he intended to ever speak to me again.  To make matters worse, Finn was also avoiding me.  I realize he was trying to give me space to work things out with Grey, which is sweet, but it only made me even more pissed off at Grey.  I shouldn’t have to avoid Finn or make Finn feel like he should avoid me to preserve my relationship.  Bastard. 

“You’re pacing again,” Anita observed, without looking at me.  “Huh,” I grunted. “Can you make your internal monologue a little less annoying, and a little more still?” Anita requested.  “Yeah, sure, fine,” I agreed, moodily.

I found everyone annoying. Therefore, I decided to go for a walk.  I put on my shoes, grabbed my coat, and left. I had charmed my computer earlier in the quarter.  It magically did my homework for me now, and I had a lot of free time on my hands.  I did all of the reading myself. I only had to touch my computer, and it began to write my papers or do my other assignments.  That left all of my evenings free.  It had been awesome, but since Grey wasn’t calling…

Nope, not going to think about it, just going to walk.  I’m not sure where, but I would figure it out.  My phone still wasn’t ringing.  But, I was not thinking about that, just walking, right into…Grey.  Didn’t see that coming.

“What the hell,” I exclaimed surprised, annoyed, and a little angry.  “Hello to you too,” He answered curtly.  “Okay, hello, and what the hell?” I said again in my bitchiest tone.  “You never came to my house Tuesday night.  I worried about you.  I came to see if you needed any assistance.  I meant to stay away.  Give you space to figure out what you wanted, but I can’t stay away from you.  I know I’m not your destiny, but I feel drawn to you just the same.”

“I’m going to scream if everyone doesn’t stop telling me what my destiny is.  How are you sure we aren’t meant to be together?  You didn’t believe me when I said I wanted to be with you?  Is that why you haven’t called me for three days?” I ranted.  “I’m sorry I’m not trying to offend you.  Your mother has plans for you. Unfortunately, I’ve seen for myself her plans would work.  I can’t fight her if she’s right.  Believe me, I wish I doubted her,” he answered sourly.

“That’s it then?  You talk about
my
future, which everyone but me is certain about. Apparently, in this other future we aren’t together. This is what matters to you, regardless of the fact that in the present I’m certain I want you.  Do you want to throw away the certainty of now for the ambiguity of the future?” I asked pointedly.

Grey lips spread into a half smile, but his eyes still held a degree of sadness.  “Are you asking me if I will take you for as long as I can have you? Even if, I am sure you cannot be mine forever?” Grey asked sorrowfully.  I scrunched up my face in disdain. “Not when you put it that way.  If you are so sure we are hopeless, I can see why you don’t want to continue.”

I half turned to walk away, but he reached out with his lightning fast reflexes and grabbed my shoulder.  “I’m pathetic for admitting this, but even if I only get to be with you for one more night, or two more weeks, I’ll take it.  Being with you is like breathing again.  That probably doesn’t mean anything to you, but I have not taken a real life giving breath for several hundred years.  But, when I am with you, I feel alive again.  I’m in no hurry to end this feeling.”

“Only you are certain this is going to end,” I whispered in his ear.  “Nonetheless, it will. I’ve accepted that. Maybe we are just a different kind of meant-to-be.  When you live forever, as we do, there are several destinies to live out.  You might be so sure of us, because we are meant to be
right now
. Could be why I can’t fight my feelings for you.”

I liked the sound of most of that.  It sounded less set in stone, out of my hands, designed by some unseen deity.  However, he still said “destiny,” and I
really
hated that word.  I slipped my hand into his, and bobbed my head to the side suggesting we take a walk.

“I was confused,” I began.  “Was?” he interrupted.  “Up until the moment you walked away and I didn’t see or hear from you for three days.  I know you don’t believe me, but I need you.  That sounds pathetic, but it’s true,” I admitted.  “Today, tomorrow, a year, forever, what ever you will offer me I’ll take it and suffer the consequences later.  I love you Chloë. As long as you want me and I want you, we’ll be together.  How does that sound?”  “Perfect.” I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him.  I spoke against his lips, “Hey, I’ve missed you.”

He kissed me again, and it was sweet, full of longing, love, and a hint of sadness.  “Stop ending us while we are still going strong,” I admonished.  His crooked smile appeared.  He hauled me against him for a kiss that was full of consuming fire and promises.  “Now that is more like it,” I murmured.

It was Halloween, a fact I had been ignoring due to my ill temper.  The usual silver glow of the moon was replaced by a large, eerily low harvest moon.  It cast a dark, bloody light on the night.   Werewolves, prostitutes, zombies, catholic schoolgirls, nuns, priests, the devil, and Jesus all walked past us on their way to various campus parties.  Some of the costumes were creative, but most were just an excuse to go out in public nearly nude.

Anita, who apparently started traveling by rooftop, jumped off the top of the nearest building.  She pounced on top of me. “Do you realize we never had you conjure costumes?”  “I take it you’re done with your homework?” I asked, sliding out from under her.  “She is,” Dean replied, and swung out of one of the trees.  Dean landed soundlessly at my feet, with the grace of a predator. 

“Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?” Finn asked, and stepped out from behind the tree Dean was perched in.  “I’m not even sure what is going on here,” I replied bewildered.  “All Hallows Eve is what is going on here.  Ya know, Halloween?  We need to dress up, get down, and have some fun,” Anita sang.