Fighting for the Edge (23 page)

****

Aubrey shoved her room key in her jeans pocket and brushed her hand through her hair as she made her way to the elevator. She usually spent a ton of time getting ready for the post-competition parties, but she didn’t feel like making the effort this year. After losing the title to Marley and Zach the previous night, she wasn’t in the mood for partying at all, but Em had insisted she go since it was their last nationals.

The official competitors’ party was in the hotel’s big ballroom, but the unofficial one was in Nick’s room. After their friend Trevor had quit skating, Nick had become the new party host. Aubrey paused at his door and debated turning around and leaving. Chris was likely inside, which would make the night even more difficult. But she had to live with him for the next three weeks until the Olympics, so she might as well get used to seeing him.

Nick answered her knock and reached for her hand. “I’ve got a drink with your name on it.”

“Perfect.”

She followed him through the bodies packed into the small space, and he stopped at the desk covered in liquor, juice, and soda bottles. Also jammed onto the desk was a laptop playing music. While Nick mixed bourbon and coke in a red plastic cup, Aubrey scanned the room and found Chris near the window. His back was to her as he talked to Shawn and Mark.

Em squeezed around the crowd and gave her a hug, warming her with her fuzzy sweater. She was holding her own plastic cup.

“What are you drinking?” Aubrey whispered in her ear.

“OJ,” Em mouthed and showed her the orange liquid.

“Here you go, my lady.” Nick handed over her cocktail and turned to fiddle with the computer.

She took a long gulp and leaned against the desk as the liquor went down with a deep burn. A couple more drinks like that one and she wouldn’t remember any of her troubles.

“Sergei didn’t wanna come to the last hurrah?” she asked Em.

“You know he doesn’t think he should mingle with the group since he’s a coach. I was surprised he didn’t change his tune this year, though, so he could keep an eye on me. He’s been hovering over me so much lately.”

“Well, better to have someone paying too much attention to you than not giving a crap,” Aubrey said and gulped down more of her drink.

“Yeah… that’s true.”

“You’ll have a little breathing space at the Olympics since you’ll be rooming with me. Aren’t you glad I insisted we do that?”

Em smiled. “That’s gonna be fun. It’ll be just like old times. And maybe Chris can calm Sergei’s nerves since they’ll be rooming together.”

“Emily!” Candice laughed as she and one of the ladies’ medalists surged forward. “You have to tell Jenna the story about the fire alarm at nationals in Atlanta… when Trevor almost got in a fight with that old guy? You tell it better than anyone.”

Em launched into the story, and Aubrey snuck a glance at Chris, who was still facing the window. His broad shoulders filled out his red polo. It looked like the same shirt he’d worn on their date. That night seemed so long ago, more like two years than two weeks. She downed the rest of her drink and made herself another.

The bottle of bourbon became her closest companion at the party. She stayed parked next to the bar, letting the buzz take hold of her as conversations floated around her. Em suggested she slow down, but she waved her off and went back to pretending to listen to Jenna. By the time Chris approached her, she needed the wall behind her to keep her steady on her wedge heels.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

With her brain being a little woozy, she wasn’t sure at first if it was a general question or if he was asking for a specific reason. As she squinted at him, she realized he was probably referring to the competition results.

“I’m fantabulous.” She rested her head against the wall.

He looked down at the bottle beside her then back up at her again. “I know it’s not easy to be positive right now, but you still have a chance to get a medal in Torino. It might seem harder with the way things shook out here, but don’t stop believing that you can do it.”

Harder? Try near impossible. She’d ruined her and Nick’s status as the top U.S. dance team with one click of her blade.

“I’m not really in the mood for Mr. Brightside.” She pushed off from the wall, and a wave of dizziness knocked her against the desk.

“Whoa.” Chris grabbed her arm.

She looked up into his eyes. Those gorgeous, caring eyes. If he wasn’t so nice, she never would’ve fallen for him. And if she hadn’t fallen for him, she wouldn’t feel such a painful ache every time he was near. Like right now.

“I’m fine.” She stumbled out of his grasp.

Swaying toward the bed, she plunked down next to Nick. He tapped her cup with his and then halted with his drink in mid-air.

“We need to make a toast. With Team Cape Cod.” He curved his neck to search the room. “Emily, Chris, Mark, Courtney! Get over here!”

It took a few minutes for them all to gather. A slight flush colored Courtney’s cheeks as she sipped from her cup. She’d probably never drank alcohol before. Em was holding a bottle of water, and Nick took it from her hands.

“You can’t toast with water. It’s bad luck.”

Aubrey snatched the bottle and handed it back to Em. “Enough with the superstitions. They’re ridiculous.”

“We can’t have any more bad ju-ju,” he said.

“I did your stupid New Year’s kiss and we still had bad ju-ju, so what’s the point?” she said, her voice rising.

“Why are you making such a big deal? Will someone just get Em a drink?”

“She can’t have a drink! She’s pregnant!”

Not only did everyone in the circle gape at her, but she’d yelled loud enough for everyone in the room to stop and stare. Em’s face turned ashen, and the silence seemed to stretch for days.

Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.

“Pregnant. That’s funny. You have a good imagination when you’re drunk.” Chris pried Aubrey’s cup from her shaky hand. “No more for you. Who knows what you might make up about the rest of us.”

What was he doing? He thought he could cover it up? Her head spun as she watched all the wide eyes swing back and forth between her and Em.

“Why don’t we go get some air?” Chris set down their drinks and led her by the elbow. She glanced back at Em, who was still pale and speechless.

As soon as they hit the hallway, Chris pulled at his hair. “How could you just blurt that out?”

She squeezed her head between her hands to try to clear her blurry focus. What had she done? She’d just hurt another one of her best friends. Em was going to hate her, too.

The door flew open, and Em came out with fire in her big blue eyes. “Are you seriously that drunk that you have no control over what’s coming out of your mouth?”

“I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” Aubrey threw her arms around her. “Please don’t hate me.”

Em let out a deep sigh. “I don’t hate you. But I’m not very happy with you right now.”

“Do you think people believed me when I played it off?” Chris asked.

“I don’t know.” Em wiggled out of Aubrey’s tight embrace. “I should probably go do some more damage control.”

“I’ll tell everyone I was joking.” Aubrey moved toward the door, but Chris stepped in front of her.

“You’re not going back in there. You’ve said enough.”

“I have to do something to make it better!”

“I don’t know if there’s anything that can make it better.” Em glared at her before disappearing inside.

Aubrey stared at the closed door and then slowly turned toward the elevator.

“Where are you going?” Chris asked.

“My room.” She continued forward. “Where I can’t hurt anyone else.”

“I’ll walk you there.” He quickly caught up to her slow, weaving steps.

“I can make it on my own.”

“I’m going with you,” he said more forcefully.

Inside the elevator, Aubrey caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror on the back wall. Her eyes were glassy, her hair tangled from pushing it out of her face all night. She was such a mess. Not the kind of girl for a guy like Chris. At least not for anything more than a fun time.

She pulled out her room key as they approached her door, and she leaned against the frame for support. The elevator ride had thrown her wooziness into overdrive. She fumbled to stick the card into the lock, and Chris wrapped his strong hand around hers, gently guiding the key into the slot. His warm touch made her even more lightheaded. Turning the handle, he slowly released her hand, and she backed against the door to hold it open.

She gazed at him, blinking the fog from her eyes. “Did you walk me here hoping to get invited inside?”

“I walked you here to make sure you got here okay.”

She smiled a little. “You’re such a good guy. You really, really are.” She tapped his chest with the key. “You’re gonna find your Miss Brightside… a nice, sweet girl who doesn’t get drunk and do stupid things.”

His eyes darted over her face, and her cheeks heated. She stumbled into the room, and as the door shut, she thought she heard Chris say her name. She waited a moment and then looked through the peephole. But he was gone.

Collapsing onto the bed, she closed her eyes to make the world stop spinning, but nothing could stop her heart from aching. No amount of alcohol could drown that pain.

Chapter Nineteen

Aubrey rolled her skate bag inside her room with Nick trailing close behind. They’d struggled through early morning practice for that afternoon’s Skating Spectacular, the show where all the medalists would perform their exhibition programs. Their program was to “Fix You” by Coldplay, which Aubrey found fitting since many things in her life these days needed fixing.

She stretched out on the king-sized bed, and Nick claimed the opposite side. If they could work in a nap before the show, they might not resemble zombies under the spotlights.

“So you haven’t told me…” Nick lifted up and pulled a second pillow under his head. “Is Em really pregnant?”

She rolled onto her side so her cheek pressed against the cool pillowcase. “What was everyone saying after I left last night?”

“Em denied it, but I don’t think anyone was buying it.”

“I can’t believe I did that to her.” She rubbed her forehead. “She’s been so worried about people finding out, and I announced it to the entire room.”

“I had a feeling something weird was up with her, just from the way she’s looked at the rink.”

“She gets morning sickness at random times during the day.”

Nick made a face. “Girl’s got some guts. I guess it would be hard to quit at this stage of the game, but it has to be pretty scary flying across the ice when you’re pregnant.”

“Yeah, our problems don’t seem so bad in comparison.”

Nick closed his eyes, so Aubrey did the same until he started talking again a minute later. “I’ve been thinking about the Olympics. Do you realize how lucky we are that we’re getting to go not just once but twice in our career? It’s really pretty incredible when you stop and think about it.”

Aubrey thought back four years to the Opening Ceremony in Salt Lake City and how her feet had barely touched the ground as she’d marched with all the other athletes. She’d felt so honored, so special walking behind the American flag. That feeling had stayed with her the entire two weeks of the Games. She wanted the same experience in Torino. She wanted more wonderful memories she could hold onto for the rest of her life.

“Let’s make our goal to have three amazing skates at the Olympics,” she said.

“I’m down with that.”

“From now until we compete in Torino, my sole focus will be on working toward those three performances. Nothing is going to distract me.”

Nick shifted slightly toward her. “Did something distract you the other night during the OD?”

The image of Chris saying,
It didn’t mean anything
popped into her mind, and she lowered her eyes to the bed. She cleared her throat and looked back up at Nick.

“It wasn’t anything that will ever trip me up again.”

****

“It’s not too late for you and Chris to pull out of the gala,” Sergei said as he stood in the doorway of the bathroom. “We can say you’re not feeling well.”

I paused in the middle of brushing purple eye shadow on my lids. “There’s no reason to pull out. That would only make people more suspicious.”

Sergei retreated into the room while I resumed creating smoky eyes. Our show program to “Overcome” by Better Than Ezra was dark and intense, so I liked my makeup to match the mood of the music. My personal mood was a bit dark at the moment, too. After Aubrey’s outburst at the party, my attempt to do damage control hadn’t seemed too effective. I’d told people Aubrey and I had talked about me trying to get pregnant right after the Olympics, and she’d just gotten it all screwed up in her drunk brain. I’d received lots of curious looks, and Courtney had been especially probing, to the point where I’d caved and admitted the truth to her.

Sergei reappeared and came closer to the vanity. “I don’t want you doing the twist or the throw under spotlights. It’s too dangerous.”

“If we take stuff out of the program, it’ll raise a lot of questions.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want you doing them. I’ll tell Chris, and you can make an adjustment.”

I snapped the eye shadow shut and looked at Sergei in the mirror. “We’ve never had a problem hitting our elements under spotlights.”

“It’s better to be safe in this situation.”

Safe
. That was a word with which I’d become very familiar. Safe was how things needed to be, but what would happen once we got to Torino? We couldn’t be cautious there. We had to go all-out, no holding back. Without the quad in our arsenal, it was even more important that we do every element not just cleanly but spectacularly.

As I coated on multiple layers of mascara, a hard knock sounded on the door. Sergei answered it, and Mom’s voice filled the room.

“Is Emily here? She needs to see this.”

I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Mom carrying her laptop. “What is it?”

She set the computer on the desk. “Read this post on the Skate World message board.”